Last night I went to sleep in our tent camp to the soft buzz of Snowy Tree Crickets, and woke up to an ice cream-colored sunrise. And then to the horrific news about Las Vegas, and then to an email that asked me if I knew that my Facebook page was flooded with comments, several of them negative. After reading all of the comments on Facebook and the blog, I feel compelled to answer some of them here.
As background, if you need catching up, last week I wrote a review of the Monks of New Skete’s book, Let Dogs Be Dogs. We posted it on Facebook, and so far it has reached 119,576 people and generated 182 comments. Some of them express disappointment in me for writing a negative review; some go a bit, uh, farther. Rather than answer each comment individually, I’ve responded here to the most critical comments, and added a note about something I wrote that seems to have gotten lost.
1) Yes, I did read the book. I was actually sent a review copy by the publishers several months ago. I read that version, and then bought the kindle version because one can’t quote from a review copy because last minutes edits are often made between versions (as was indeed true in this case). So, I actually have two copies of the book, and have read them both.
2) Several people have criticized me for writing anything negative at all. I understand that inclination; it is less risky and much easier to stay silent. Others have argued that I’ve destroyed my reputation as “leader in the field” by making negative comments about another’s book. I, of course, hope that isn’t true; but after writing a memoir about my life’s darkest secrets, it just feels cowardly to not speak out when I think it’s important. And this does feel important. I’ve worked my entire professional life trying to improve relationships between people and animals, and I simply don’t see this book as doing that. I do wish we lived in a world where we could cheer on what we support and ignore what we don’t. I hate controversy and am as injured by criticism as the next person. There will be a lot of time cuddling with my dogs this afternoon. But although sometimes it is appropriate to stay quiet when in a disagreement with another, at other times it can be harmful to avoid speaking out. The fact is, the publishers sent me the book and asked my opinion about it, in hopes I’d write a rave review for the back cover. I wish I had been able to do so.
3) Most importantly, my criticisms of the book were about the methods described, not the authors. I explicitly stated that I believed Brother Christopher loves dogs, and none of my criticisms of the book were directed toward him or his co-author, dog trainer Marc Goldberg. I have made it a policy for decades to only address methods, never the person who advocates them. Ironically, some of the nastiest comments I’ve gotten attack me as a person for saying something negative about the authors of the book, although I was only criticizing the methods they espouse. Ah, my. (This is when I try to go to my happy place—Bird song! Smiling dogs! Pretty flowers!)
The only thing I said in the review that could relate to the authors themselves was a comment about the photograph on the cover, suggesting that “monkish robes and a kindly face” will sell a lot of books. I did not mean that as an attack of Brother Christopher, which is why I said “I have no doubt that the authors of this book love their dogs, but this is a road I hope few decide to follow.” I wrote that explicitly to separate the authors from the method that I was criticizing. However, I can see that a quick read of what I wrote about the cover might be misinterpreted, which was not my intention in any way. After thinking about it, I deleted that sentence from the review. However, I stand by my comments about the methods described in the book—they are indeed “old fashioned”, sometimes harmful, and based on a misunderstanding of canine social behavior.
4) Last, but very much not least: The second point I made in my review has been lost in the dust. That’s too bad, because I think it’s important. The book talks about leadership, a word that has become polluted with so much baggage that it is almost worthless (or worse) now in many circles. But buried in that concept is the fact that dogs need to feel safe and secure, and it is our job to help them feel that way. How could dogs not need to know they can count on us, when we hold all the cards? The question, which I wish we could have a reasonable discussion about, is how to give them that. As someone who has felt unsafe and insecure for most of her life, this seems to me to be an important issue to discuss. I’d argue that using leash pops and down stays is not the way to do it, but I still believe that dogs need something from us that helps them to feel that they can count on us to have their backs. My guess is that this is part of what Brother Christopher and Goldberg are trying to get at. But how can we provide that for them? Surely it’s a combination of understanding the genetics of personality, early development and training techniques, not to mention our relationship with each of our dogs in real time. There is no doubt that some training methods can undermine a dog’s sense of safety, but this is not so much an argument for or against any method, but more a question of how to we provide that “secure base of attachment” that social creatures like people and dogs seem to need?
Could this be the issue that finds common ground between the two “camps”? I think this concept is important, but like much of the rest of the world, dog training has become so polarized that it’s difficult to have a discussion about it. But I’ll put it out there now, in hopes that we can continue the discussion in a thoughtful, positive way. I’m going to reach out to the Brother Christopher to see if he and I could at least talk about it. I’ll keep you posted.
Now, time to pet some dogs.
MEANWHILE, back on the farm: No photos from the farm actually this time. I thought this might be a good time to share some photos of funny signs that I’ve collected over the years. I began taking picture of amusing signs on one of my trips with Jim, on a ferry with a sign that said “Don’t Hug the Exhaust Fan”. Poor fan, no one to give it a hug. Here’s a collection of signs I’ve either taken or that Jim found a few years ago on the inter web. (Click on each one if you can’t read what is written.) I took the one on the bottom right just yesterday. Thank god those posts know where to assemble.
(I’ve selected the flood sign, which I took on a hike out west many years ago, as the photo for today’s post. Somehow it seemed appropriate.)
Frances says
Having read a lot of the comments on your Facebook page I suspect that many of the posters had not read your review, and were simply responding following the authors’ request for positive comments. And I simply do not understand the idea that it is somehow unprofessional to disagree with another dog trainer – how on earth could it be “professional” to let potentially harmful methods go unchallenged?
My own favourite sign was in Ireland, where the end of a rather confusing exit from a dual carriageway was emblazoned with No Entry signs – and then, a little further on, a large placard saying “If you can read this you are going the wrong way”! (I was on foot at the time, not driving, I hasten to add.)
Nicola says
Trisha, thanks for fighting the good fight.
Relationships tend to be successful and effective when any leadership enables choices and rejects an authority enforcing rules. It’s also about rejecting the myth that dogs are trying to dominate us (humans) when we get to decide everything including whether they live or die. We are ultimately dominant in describing and prescribing the social relationship. Dominance or resource holding potential between other dogs is probably a thing but its not a human weakness to allow your dog to lead on occasion and you to follow. Think medical detection dogs, service dogs, search and rescue, therapy etc. However, it is a human ego problem to think you always have to be a dominant partner or have the upper hand.
Fact is, if you traumatise your dog to change behaviour through fear and pain you are not leading within a 21st century progressive progressive definition. You are abusing and over powering your companion or colleague to enforce your will on a vulnerable sentient being, damaging the brain and potentially causing irreparable damage . Neuroscience now provides us with plenty of evidence that there is a better way to teach, live and work with dogs. There is also a need for developing scientific literacy, including evidence based behaviour modification methods, understanding the power of pervasive ideology and human cognitive biases (conscious and unconscious).This also requires sincere and compassionate communication.
Just as technology interventions have outpaced political policy, canine science and empiricism have outpaced and outdated the monks’ old fashioned methods.
Minnesota Mary says
I hope you do reach out to Brother Christopher. Hopefully he will be willing to enter into dialog. Face-to-face dialog is always the best way to communicate.
I often find that concepts about behavior, when written, are misunderstood. But it is difficult to misinterpret “pop the leash like a person snapping a towel in the locker room”. There’s meanness in intent there, and unnecessarily harsh negative correction. If everyone adopted that habit when “providing leadership” to their dog, a lot of small dogs would have broken necks!
It’s not a matter of right and wrong here, but education and missed opportunities to train without harming the dog – either mentally or physically.
With my beloved huskies, I have found the best success when I either make what I want seem like their idea, or else find a way to make them want to do what I want. A dog who can be enticed to willingly cooperate is happier, under less stress and healthier.
Thank you for responding to negativity by presenting some positive actions on your part.
Wendy Wright says
Not to speak is to speak and not to act is to act. (Dietrich Bonhoeffer). And not to speak out against out-dated and harmful methods of dog training is to be complicit in their continuation. So – you’ve done good and should take comfort in the fact that those who look at your review and the Amazon reviews it prompted may stop and think about alternatives to the Monks’ recommendations. I do however understand that there are financial incentives associated with the continuation of these force-based methods and see that the Monks charge $3,995 for their 5-day shock collar workshop and $2,995 for their 2.5 week obedience program that incorporates the use of shock collars. As for me, I just pick up copies of The Puppy Primer and Family Friendly Dog Training and give them to friends who have taken in new pups, illustrating with my dog the positive results that are made possible through their use. I for one know that my dog would give you a five-star rating if given the chance…
Wanda says
I am so sorry you have been subjected to the nasty that seems so prevalent these days. I posted I was pleased you had written a “negative” review. I praise your decision to be honest and open. You are a respected voice for all dogs and I cannot thank you enough for that. If more people behaved like devoted canine companions, this country would be a much better place! Take a deep breath. Act like a duck…let the negative roll off like water. And carry on with your good work. This world is a better world because you are in it.
HFR says
I haven’t read the book, so I won’t comment on that. I will comment on people in general. The internet has not created people who don’t know how to respond, be respectful, listen to an argument, be rational, etc. Those people have always existed. But the internet has given them a voice. So now you hear those people who not only disagree with you but who choose to throw personal insults instead of discuss an issue civilly. I also believe that people who hold onto their views despite what evidence they may hear to the contrary also tend to be the kind of people who think their voice needs to be heard in every way possible (FB, twitter, blogs, etc). Those two character traits seem to live together most of the time making for a horrible environment.
The worst thing that could happen is if these people kept people like you from speaking out. Of course, you had to speak up. That’s who you are. And you are always thoughtful and respectful. That was clear in your review. But no one seems to change anyone’s mind anymore. I always say the least heard sentence in the human language is “Well, that is a very good point you have there.”
Sad times we live in indeed. Keep speaking, Patricia. We’re depending on you.
Katy says
Today in a department chairs meeting we were talking about the trend for students to write very nasty evaluations because it is online and anonymous and they feel less like they are dealing with human beings because of that. I suspect the Facebook comments you are reading are in the same vein.
Two of my favorite signs: one at the Wilds in Ohio – worth a visit if you haven’t been there – reads, “PLEASE BE SAFE. Do not stand, sit, climb or lean on the fences. If you fall, animals could eat you and that might make them sick. Thank you.”
The other, at a park in Illinois, reads “Do not drink the water. Fish pee in it.”
Diane says
“The worst thing that could happen is if these people kept people like you from speaking out”….HFR – I could not agree more.
Michelle says
I rarely “do” FaceBook; I find blogging a much more thoughtful way to dialogue. And I love your experience, perspective, and thoughtfulness. Please keep speaking for the dogs and for those of us who want to do better by them!
Chris from Boise says
I haven’t read the book either, but I have read the other Monks of New Skete’s older books and one more recent book (Divine Canine, 2007), and visited their website and the website of co-author Marc Goldberg since your review, to educate myself about their current training philosophy. I applaud their talk about building a relationship with one’s dog, but am puzzled by their apparent ignorance of more modern behavioral science and its application to training.
On a personal note, it was not until I learned how to listen to Habi, and then learned how to make her feel secure and safe in the world, that we were able to progress out of an extremely negative downward spiral (that included leash pops and dominance leadership). Now our life together is joy.
I hope that you and Brother Christopher do talk (and listen). Would that we all made the effort to talk with people with whom we disagree. Thank you for an honest and thoughtful review that may start a fruitful discussion. And as Wanda (above) says: let the negative comments roll off like water off a duck’s back. If it’s not constructive, it’s not worth consideration.
My favorite sign is in the Milwaukee airport, just beyond the security screening area. Just above the chairs where you can put your shoes, belt, etc back on, is a large sign: Recombobulation Area.
Debra says
“People don’t want to hear the truth because they don’t want their illusions destroyed.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
For as long as I can remember, you have been the bearer of truth in science, empathy, and education. You put the “human” in humane. There is no doubt in my mind that if you do in fact meet with Brother Christopher, there will be a melding of the minds – a bridge created by the act of your reaching out, versus a wall built by silence. Go forth – you have all of us to join you on that bridge.
Cheryl says
I read your review of the book and found it to be- much like you- polite, kind, and backed up with science. I think, as you wrote, that in some cases it’s *wrong* not to speak up and out about something we know could be potentially harmful. And, although I don’t think you meant to be mean-spirited, the fact that Brother Christopher *is* in his robes on the book’s cover offers up some suggestion of faith and trust… there is so little of that now in our crazy world. When I was having issues a few months ago with things I had seen and didn’t know how to fix, hating confrontation and being a peaceful person, she said, “Mom, silence complies consent. And you have respect- people will listen to you.” Her words gave me courage to speak up and out against what I know to be wrong. Patricia, I think you did the right thing. I applaud your review- well written with respect and thoughtfulness. Thank you for doing the right thing.
Jill Leggio says
Patricia, thank you. Just thank you…for being you…speaking evidence based truth…being compassionate…and kind. To paraphrase Annie Lamotte …”grace always goes through the door last. “
Vicki in Michigan says
Love everything Wendy Wright said.
In this time we CANNOT not speak. Silence is certainly complicity.
I am so sorry you got so many negative reactions. I believe aggressively negative reactions are more likely these days than they have been in the past. (Talk about bad leadership…..)
Sending hugs and good thoughts. You are working really hard to make lives better for dogs. I love you for that.
Thank you.
Kathy says
I read your review last week and am glad you spoke up about the methods espoused by the Monks of New Skete. I read their first book, back in the early days of my dog training/owning. When I referred back to it years later, when I was starting a new dog, I was disturbed by the methods in exactly the ways you refer to. My dilemma at the time was what then to do with the book; I generally pass on a used book to someone else or take it to a used book dealer, but I didn’t want to “spread this word”. Your review was, as has been stated already here, not directed at the monks themselves, but at the methods. Hooray for you!!
HFR says
One more thing. 🙂
I can’t help but think that this kind of training will never go away because it appeals to people on a very basic level. These trainers, figures of authority, come to you and say “Be the boss! You rule! You are a god!” How is that not a wonderful thing to hear when, most likely, in the rest of your life you have very little control. You work for a boss, you are probably just getting through every day trying to make ends meet. The world is in chaos. But when it comes to your dog, you have been given permission to demand compliance and are told that you rule your dog’s world. And, as we all know, that kind of philosophy and training often gets results (albeit compromised). The writers of this book (and another certain unnamed TV personality) make their living off of this appeal. They are invested in keeping it going. And science isn’t going to stand in their way.
I’m sure these people aren’t monsters and they love dogs. But I don’t like them anyway.
Lydia says
We can’t keep quiet because at the end of the day it’s the dogs that ultimately suffer. #shockfreecoalition
Lindsay Mann says
It always takes courage to speak out and I respect anyone who does that in the effort to bridge communication gaps and to try to make the world a better place for dogs and owners.
I understand that that is what you were trying to do and I really hope that something will come of reaching out to Brother Christopher. I suspect and hope that he will at least talk to you.
Funnily enough, I was thinking about this this morning, and the very thought of someone talking to Brother Christopher face to face was in my mind. Kind regards to you Patricia x
Karen DeBraal says
I love you, Patricia McConnell. You have inspired me no end with my own dogs and I have shared your books and blogs with anyone I think could benefit. Thank you for speaking out and avoiding the complicity of silence.
And I love your words about “having your dog’s back.” That is the best and I will be saying it to people.
SharonD says
We have somehow become a world where people simply cannot disagree without resorting to childish tactics. Even among friends, people no longer seem to be able to fathom that someone else might have a different view than themselves. “The audacity of you for not agreeing with us!” I got into a disagreement with a friend a while back on a particular social media site – I typically post pics for family and friends and don’t say much. But in this instance I was complaining about the work ethic today and how younger generations don’t seem to be capable of problem solving unless they have some sort of tech device to tell them what to do. You see, I had pulled into a drive-thru for some takeout one day and was told that the business was not serving because their computer system was down. My point was this – does the computer system run the ovens or in some way affect the safety of the food that you will make from what is already sitting there waiting to be served? Probably not and while I understand that you can’t process a credit card at this time, I was planning on paying cash anyway. So how about just make me a darn taco and break out a calculator if you must – there should be one on that phone I know you all have in your pockets. My thought was that the employees, one of which was supposed to be a manager, should have made it work and did what had to be done to keep business running. My friend however, let me know in no uncertain terms that I must not understand how a point of sale system works and went on to vehemently argue with me and in the end even insulted my class and way of thinking! Seriously?! It was at that point that I took the higher road. I simply said that we were going to have to agree to disagree on this one and that I hoped she was doing well and had nothing but love for her. I could have continued the argument easily – as a matter of fact I have worked in several similar businesses in my past and had been in a few similar situations even. A few years ago (or more) it just seems that we were taught to handle things a little differently. My point is I think many in this world have forgotten that we can disagree and it doesn’t mean that our relationship is over and one of us must be an awful individual. It just means we have different points of view on that particular topic and that’s okay!
You have to keep on plugging away and stay true to your beliefs. I am with you on the side of R+ training and relationship building with our dogs. Some people are not on that same page. I won’t insult them, neither did you with your honest opinion, I simply say “that’s not how I would do it.” It would be nice if people would sit down and have a real discussion about this difference of opinion between training styles – doesn’t mean that one is right and the other wrong or that both people have to be on the same side by the end. But to truly be open minded we have to be open to listen and hear and try to understand even when the argument is the polar opposite of our own beliefs. I don’t believe those who train with compulsion methods do so because they hate their dogs, it’s what they know. I’ve done it both ways and I loved my dog both times, when I began with R+ I saw a whole other world and hated what compulsion tactics did to the relationship with my dog. So I chose to never train that way again and I don’t regret it for a minute.
You can’t please everyone all the time. I think your review was honest. You held true to your beliefs and did not say anything negative about the individuals. You simply said that their methods were not what you advocate. It’s sad that others don’t know how to disagree without being nasty.
Andy says
I’m trying to think of something constructive to add, and I think I have something.
The internet – social media in particular – can be pretty destructive. However, one way it can be really, really great is you sometimes get to see intelligent, accomplished people deliberate with each other over unresolved or even contentious issues. I learn as much from threads between brilliant people as I do from reading their individual works. Right now, I find myself fully enjoying a recent post from Jean Donaldson that criticizes some positions of other excellent behaviorists. Do I buy her take 100%? Not necessarily, at least not yet. But I really love seeing these public voices at work on dilemmas that don’t have clear consensus.
That can’t happen if you don’t speak up, even when it’s unpleasant. And while I’m not a Monks of New Skete fan at all, I hope more good public dialogue comes out of this one too. You may change some minds if you haven’t already, or at least engage them. Thanks for reviewing this book.
Mary Ramsden says
Goodness gracious.
In this day and age of mercilessly blasting the bejeezuz out of anyone and anything you don’t agree with, I think that people are always looking for a quick way out. Faster speed on the internet, fast food, and fast fixes to things that don’t need to be fixed, they need to be experienced. Our technology has exceeded our brain and emotional development in leaps and bounds. Kindness, compassion, and patience make for a telethon response to the hard work of rebuilding piece by piece.
I believe your review is perfect. We are asking another species to come and dwell with us in relationship under the same roof. Reason would require us to be kind and considerate with our guest: learn their language, and share ours. Gently and consistently. Unfortunately, the rush to compliance at any and all cost to true relationship undermines the whole thing. We expect more from our companion animals than we do from our children…..and we aren’t doing such a hot job with our own species at the moment either.
Speak up and keep pointing toward the Better Way. You have done more than you perhaps realize over these many years. Don’t let some negative folks slow you down.
Thanks, Trish!
Mary Kron says
Thank you for writing what you did about the Monks of New Skete’s new book. I appreciated your comments and found them to be very balanced and fair. As a dog trainer, I am constantly reviewing my own methods and adapting them to new situations, new dogs and new scientific discoveries of how dogs think and behave. I also have been made to feel unsafe for most of my own life and think that “do it because I said so–backed up with a (however mild) punishment” is not a training method that makes any dog feel safe or as if the leader has her back. If you know the history of down-stays and leash-pops, you know that was the kind of training given to military dogs during the world wars. Do we really think that boot-camp methods are the best for all dogs? Then why don’t we teach all kids the way soldiers are trained/?
Emily Sieger says
well it wouldn’t be a surprise that people who support mean training techniques wouldn’t hesitate to be mean to people, too … would it?
Ellen Archer says
Thank you for speaking out! It’s so important. Sending love.
Claire says
I’m sorry you received nasty personal comments, Patricia. There is never any excuse for that. I thought your review was balanced, scientific and generous.
MaryR says
This comment is merely about your sign “In Case of Flood Climb to Safety”. I’ve been telling people about this sign for Years, although the one we saw may have said “In Case if Flood Climb to Higher Ground”. We saw it in Missouri well before the time of smartphones and digital cameras, so I did not take a picture. I always thought that was the funniest sign post and I hope that people in those flood prone areas followed that message.
Trisha says
Thank you all so much for your comments of support. They are appreciated beyond words. The fact is I’m quite cowardly, and hate confrontation. I’m basically a song bird trying to be a duck and let all the negativity flow off my back, but last night I felt a tad waterlogged and unable to sleep. I truly hope that I can find a way to contact Brother Christopher (why is it him I most want to talk to? Not sure, I supposed because the book is written by “The Monks” as well as Marc Goldberg, and because the monastery makes its living on dogs and dog behavior?) But wouldn’t it be wonderful if there could be a conversation? I love Andy’s comment that he is enjoying a post from Jean Donaldson that disagrees respectfully with other behaviorists. That’s the essence of academia and science, constructive discussion, and it is so much more useful and insightful than anonymous venting. So thank you for your support. I’m about to go do my Pilates, where I’ll do a lot of deep breathing and strengthening my core. Yup, it’s all about the core, isn’t it?
Rebecca Rice says
Hello!
I appreciated the review, and the courage it took to write it, especially with the rise of internet trolls. Sometimes, there are things that we must speak out against.
However, I am curious about this statement in your review: “by taking away your dog’s autonomy. We are advised to put our dogs on leashes throughout the day so that they get up when we get up, and are forced to go where we go.” This has often been recommended as part of puppy training (it is part of Sophia Yin’s puppy book, for example), as a means of keeping an eye on the puppy when you are otherwise occupied and don’t want to crate them. In fact, it’s one of the biggest complaint’s about the book…. “who has time to be tethered to a puppy all day?” I am trying to understand why you dislike it when the Monks recommend it. Is it that we see it as a means to an end (in this case, to keep an eye on the puppy so you can take it out the minute it starts to hunt for a spot to pee), and they consider it a goal in itself?
Also, I listened to The Education of will while on a road trip recently, and it took a lot of courage to write that book, and even more to agree to publish it and put it out there for everyone to read. I don’t know that I could have done that (not that anything half as horrible has happened to me), which says something about me, and about the culture that we live in. I can see how, having done so, speaking out against this Monk’s book would be something that you had to do, and applaud you for it.
Beth says
I cannot add anything to the eloquent support already offered here, but know I appreciate your bravery to speak up. Bravery is the ability to do what scares the bejeezus out you.
My favorite sign was in the Florida keys on a very minor road, I don’t remember where: a yellow diamond “watch for children” and below was another, “they taste like chicken”.
Valerie says
When I first began volunteering at a local shelter I read one of the monks’ books, and wondered why their advice was so different from what seemed to work for me as I tried to help rescued dogs stay sane while they waited for the right adopter. Your blog and books gave me confidence in my own observations, and taught me how to improve my skills. Your books are still on my shelves. Other books that were interesting but not as essential have been donated to free up shelf space. I eventually decided it would be best to just throw out the monk’s book.
Elisabeth Kauffman says
Sending along my deepest respect for both your training methods and your willingness to speak out about what you believe is in the best interest of dogs everywhere. Thank you! Your books have inspired me and helped make my relationship with my sweet pup so much richer.
Rachel Christensen says
Thank you for speaking for our doggy friends. What would the world be for them if we were all still using force instead of communication. Your books (as well as Suzanne Clouthier’s “Bones Would Rain from the Sky”) have helped me reach out to my little girl in a way I didn’t realize was possible. I’ve loved dogs all my life, but finally now realize I needed to understand them better.
Rachel
Maria says
Hi Trisha, I read your review of the newest Monks of New Skete book and thought, “oh, thank goodness! Someone respected in dog training is speaking up for the dogs!”
I had read the Monks’ original book way back when it was the only game in town, and back then it was a step forward in dog training (compared to mostly no training at all!). Since then, dog training technology has moved on. When I looked over their new book in the bookstore and saw that they hadn’t moved on with the times, but were instead stuck in the 1970s, I felt sad for them, and for their potential readers….and most of all, for the dogs.
Thank you for a thoughtful and balanced review. And for speaking up for the dogs.
Shari Goldfarb says
I deeply appreciate all you do for dogs and their people, and most recently appreciated your courage in offering some well-thought-out criticism of the new “Monks” book. We flawed humans need all the encouragement we can get right now to move towards respect and understanding, and away from power and control in all of our relationships. I am truly sorry that your review has unleashed a torrent of ugly responses…I agree with the writers above that the relative anonymity of the Internet allows people to snark away to their hearts content…this is a tremendous breakdown in the way we relate to each other. Thank you for bravely advocating for the thoughtful and respectful treatment of our beloved dogs (and for each other).
A funny sign photo that came to mind was taken by a friend of mine after a long and satisfying hike with our local Gay and Lesbian Sierra Club group: the leader of the hike, who’s a lovely and fairly flamboyant man, was leaning on a sign that said “No Camping.” Nuff said… 🙂
Kyla says
I think you do have to call people on methods that are cruel. Someone has to stand up in these cases and say this is not right.
I think it was your comments on the people who will snap this book up that got people’s backs up.
I think that some people took the words you wrote as a personal attack. Not because there was anything inherently offensive in them but because they identified themselves as people who follow the methods you condemned. Some people can’t admit that they have done something cruel to their beloved pets so they defend these methods as it is a defense of self.
Note there will sadly always be some people who react this way. When reading through the comments on facebook I could see many of the people reacting in this manner.
Some people just took exception to the fact that you mention the author at all not just the book while some people thought it was an attack on the “competition”.
It took great courage for you to speak out against methods of training that are harmful and I think this is a good thing to do. I applaud your courage for giving a negative review. Your book The Other End Of The Leash was and eye opening read for me. I wish everyone could see that there is a better way to get a dogs attention than leash pops.
Alice Richbourg says
I don’t have a lot to say because, like you, the negativity of our world right now and the horrible attack in Las Vegas has pretty much blown me out for a bit. I couldn’t let this pass without saying I thought you were more than fair and I’m sorry you’re getting this blow back. For some of us it is quite painful no matter how we try to let it go. Indeed, we can even feel bad about that. I do wonder if the pain and stress in our world helps this to grow in both commentary and dog training. People who are stressed just want something in their lives to go easier: use a shock collar or force and you get the desired result quickly without a lot of fuss (in their minds). Just MAKE him do what you want is what I hear them saying. Threatening that just causes more stress. How sad.
Please hang in there, Trisha, you’re fighting the good fight and we love you for it.
Gayla says
Maybe the publishers should have just said: Positive Reviews Only! Please do not comment if you disagree.
I try to never do anything that makes me feel bad about myself. And if I were in your shoes, not being honest would have made me feel worse than weathering the criticism. We don’t have to actually be brave. We just have to act bravely…
Kim says
Thank you for standing up for what you believe is right. You have my utmost respect. I think that when people resort to personal attacks, it is usually because they don’t have data or logical arguments on their side.
Julie Z says
I always think you’re incredibly tactful and have a more positive influence because of it. Your work getting lab animals adopted instead of euthanized is a good example. My years of fussing and fuming haven’t had the same positive effect.
Pam Lowrey says
There’s a funny sign in the Milwaukee Airport I saw several years ago right after you get through security. It hangs from the ceiling & says “Recombobulation Area”. Couldn’t post it in this comment, though. 🙂
Sheri Cassens says
I support your opinion completely. So sorry you have had to endure foolish, mean posts for telling the honest truth. I truly admire your extensive education, experience and willingness to share with the rest of us aspiring trainers. I’ve been following your work for practically 30 years. Forge on!
Dixie Tenny says
I reposted your review on both of my FB business pages, where it reportedly reached around 1500 people. There wasn’t a single response criticizing the review, nor my intro to it which stated that “the Monks of New Skete have produced another stinker of a book, and shame on them.” Your review was fair and honest. People have become very childish, lashing out at anything that threatens a cherished belief or a behavior that they want to feel justified in carry on. The is so easy to do when you have the anonymity of the internet to hide behind. Please always be the wonderful person that you are and try not to let the haters get you down. There are so very many of us who love you and depend on your honesty.
Christy Paxton says
You are a light in the darkness; you are thoughtful, open-minded and kind; you are a good communicator; you are in mad-love with dogs; and you are funny as all get-out. The Other End of the Leash is the best training book ever written. You have every right to speak your piece.
It drives me crazy to not be able to have civil discussions about topics like this with other trainers/professionals. We’ve forgotten what it’s like to listen, process, respond. How does it help the dogs for us to not talk with each other? I do keep trying, and I know you will too. Hope you hear from Brother Christopher.
Trisha says
Dear Pam: Thank you for the spit-out-your-tea laugh. I’ve decided that today is my Recombobulation day (thanks to people like you and all the other commenters!).
Gabriela Portilla says
Dear Trisha,
Thank you for writing the review and stating your point of view. I believe that it is crucial that if one is a reference person and knowledge resource, one has the responsibility to speak their truth. After The Education of Will you have inspired me further on to believe in my truth and stand my ground, and these kind of “controversial” posts and opinions are just part of that. I like to take them as a sign that “I am in deed being truthful to myself”. My story includes the realisation of acting as a “people pleaser” and “conflict avoider” for a long time since childhood, so it has been hard to be bold enough to “stop caring” about what others might think or feel with my true self, not that I don’t care about people anymore, on the contrary now I include myself in the “caring party” and it is actually a priority to care about how I feel and what I think. So thank you for standing your ground and speaking your truth as always. You are an inspiration for many including myself and it is always encouraging to read you. As you allow yourself to express your truth, heal and be you, you extend that “permission” to others as well and through your example, we all learn.
I’m usually worried about people’s reaction on social media regarding dog training methods and the “eternal (non-sense) debate”… yet this just gives me more strength to keep the “good fight” up.
One of the funniest signs I’ve seen is one in San Miguel de Allende Mexico in a restaurant that said “If you have donkies, tie’em up here. If you don’t, then don’t.” Here in Mexico you can find all sorts of hilarious signs I also collect pictures of them, some are so so funny.
Julia says
Dear Trisha,
what could I possibly add to all the above comments, as I so much agree with what so many people have already written: I admire your bravery to stand up for what you believe in (and for what you can back up with science!) and thank you in the name of our dogs!
I would also like to specifically thank you for listing all the other options of what to read and where to learn instead. I am just finishing Susan Friedman’s course (LLA) which I took based on your recommendation in one of your blog posts, and it was incredible. What a life changer.
Lastly, my favorite sign, found in a coffee shop: ‘Children left unattended will be given an espresso and a free puppy’. – How I wish my parents had taken me there when I was little!
Pat Wieneke says
When the Monks first book came out, where I lived then, it was the most modern and kindest method of training. I remember though, them suggesting a ‘shake down” for large dogs or a roll over of the dog and dominating them by sort of leaning over them. Well, a Chessy kept coming into our yard not only to do it’s duty, but to growl at my kids and dog. Talking to the people did no good. The shake down was totally useless, it couldn’t even get the dog to budge. And the roll over , I knew, was going to make the dog aggressive. I ended up just calling the animal control people often enough that the fines became too much for the neighbor. When I moved here is when I think you started being on the radio and I was so happy to learn that there were much better ways of dealing with a dog…although it was really the owner that was the problem. for the last 12 years I have had a dog who spent his first year of life in terrible conditions. We think that he had been abused and that he had been the victim of dog attacks. He waas so hinky that the reflection of him on a waxed floor freaked him out. He has been on Prozac for this time, and it has done him a lot of good. But as my daughter says, “anti depresssants and anti anziety meds only open the door, you have to learn to walk through it”. We took Rocky to your business and followed all the lessons we were given. None of them were hard. All of them were kind, and they all worked on both Rocky and me. He is a totally different dog. His animal aggression is way better and his fears are gone. I do not think he would ever be a perfect dog, but he is a really good dog to live with now. Had we used the other popular methods on him I fear it would have been a kindness to him to put him down. As it is, we can not picture a life with out him….even though he is shedding on my bed right now.
Jane Bennett says
I thought your review was thoughtfully written and gave good, sounds reasons for your criticisms. I am not sure when ‘criticism’ was given such a negative meaning. Criticism is at the heart of sound reasoning, academic studies, research and of course science. Theories, models and ideas need to be subjected to rigorous analysis and criticism, to identify where weaknesses lie. And there appear to be plenty in that book.
Please review should not mean “only positive comments”. And it doesn’t, to me.
Please, keep doing what you do, Patricia. I have loved your enquiring mind and your ability to communicate since I first came across The Other End of the Leash, which changed my mind about a number of things and illuminated many others.
I’ve just read The Efucation of Will and loved your strength and courage in taking the path you did, and writing about it.
I was appalled at the personal attacks on your page, and saddened by them. Many of them did not even seem to have read your review, yet were eager to leap into the fray and hurl,stones straight at you.
I’m sorry you had that experience. I will continue to love your writing and learn from what you write. You helped change my relationships with dogs for the better. The Skene Monks’ first book didn’t do that, though I bought into some of their ideas at the time. The methods written about ARE old fashioned, they are not based on modern knowledge of animal,behaviour and learning, and I applaud you for criticising the book for its failings.
To me, that is the essence of a good review: thoughtful, fair and tough if it needs to be.
Jen says
I’m grateful you spoke up. Once I learned of the positive-reinforcement training techniques and how to use them, I never looked back, and my dogs and I have all benefited tremendously. We have attained greater trust, joyful compliance, and stronger partnership. I also have a much more humble view of the intelligence, sentience, and abilities of my four-legged friends than I might otherwise have developed in a more adversarial, “you-do-what-I-tell-you-or-else” approach.
Leadership is about respect- earning it, because you are fair, consistent, admit when you screw up and do your best to make good on your mistakes, and are able to celebrate someone else’s successes and strengths without either being threatened by them or taking them as your own. And it is about giving respect. A large part of that is being consistent, reliable, and trustworthy because you value the other being. Surely that can be the basis of conversation? If that isn’t fundamental enough, the value of the love of a good dog should be. I hope to read of a thoughtful, respectful discussion between you and Brother Christopher, which aims to bring the best possible training methods forward to help people achieve the best possible relationships with their dogs.
My favorite ridiculous sign: Outside Samurai Seafoods in Homer, Alaska, a spray-painted sign proclaiming “LIVE MAINE LOBSTER!” I waited a half hour for a car to move so I could photograph it.
Lee Rose says
You are my hero.
Catherine says
Adding my voice to the chorus of your supporters. So many people take criticism of an idea or position personally, and your critique was very respectful and not at all personal.
It’s a great question, what does it mean to be a leader for your dog? As we learn more about how people and dogs communicate and learn, we learn that a force-based relationship is not the answer. I appreciated your review and recommend your books to anyone struggling with their dogs.
Jann Becker says
I’m leaving for class in a favorite shirt: “Be the person your dog thinks you are.” Thought you might like that.
Diane Mattson says
Can’t add anymore to comments except I am another voice of support. Thank You, Trisha.
muttzrule says
Haters gonna hate…. :p
I too am saddened to hear of the personal attacks. I haven’t read the nasty facebook comments, nor do I intend to. That sort of bullying is one reason I avoid social media. Even on the few blogs I do visit, sooner or later someone is so threatened by opinions differing from theirs that all they can do is start flinging f-bombs and s-bombs, and summarize with some version of “I disagree with you–you’re beyond stupid–go kill yourself.” (Yes, I have seen those very words used, more than once. Some folks think it’s quite clever. I think we are becoming less civilized than our dogs.) This blog is one place where I know that will never happen. Just plenty of intelligent, respectful, thoughtful dialogue to help enrich our dogs’ lives and our own. And the chance for a city kid(wannabe country kid) to live vicariously through the adventures of the dogs and their sheep, and all the lovely photos of the farm, flowers, animals, etc.
And to Wendy Wright: love the quote from Dietrich Bonhoeffer! He is one of my heroes…as is Patricia McConnell. Two examples of speaking the truth with courage and compassion, when it would be easier to remain silent.
Guess I’d better end this and get some sleep, or I won’t be able to recombobulate very well in the morning 🙂
Frances says
Slightly off topic, but these responses have got me thinking about leadership. It is such an amorphous word. I have worked in places where it meant “never explain, never apologise”; where bullying was seen as “strong leadership”; where a leadership vacuum meant a happy team, but left us unprotected from raids by other departments; where a charismatic and inspirational leader led his whole team over a metaphorical cliff edge … And one place where, after I left, the actions of senior management led directly to a very significant tragedy. Perhaps that is why I have a strong preference for co-operative team working, even (or especially) with my dogs. I work to inculcate good manners, and ensure everyone is safe, but certainly don’t expect blind obedience. But then I have lived with cats for years, and cats don’t do hierarchy!
Kathryn says
The entire value behind a review is an honest critique of the book, or restaurant, art show, or whatever so that readers can, based on the views of the review, make a decision about the work. I don’t think Siskel and Ebert would have become household names if all their reviews were glowing–that would be the equivalent of having NO reviews, it would be more like cliff notes. As long as comments are constructive and professional, the review stands and should not require an apology.
The solution for readers of reviews is to know your reviewer so as to be certain that your views are likely to align with theirs. You are a positive trainer reviewing a book that includes methods that are outdated and damaging to the dog-human relationship. I know this and so will not buy the book. People who disagree might read your review and seek out the book. It is absurd to criticize you for speaking the truth as you see it. Keep it up!
Christina Klock says
I continue to be disheartened (but not surprised) when rational criticism, such as Trisha’s analysis of the techniques used in the new book by The Monks of New Skete, is met with cries of ‘Shame On You.’ It seems that in today’s public forums, there is no room for intellectual analysis; there is only room either head-nods from like-minded followers or emotional, personal attacks by people who choose to be affronted. This anti-intellectual, cloudy thinking is the hallmark of a declining society.
Trisha and all others with a position backed up by reason – Take Heart!! Be Brave!! I will read your words and ponder them carefully, thinking about the evidence and context. I will not judge you personally, but rather be more informed to develop my own position.
You expand my thinking and make my life richer. You are needed. Carry On.
Rebecca Rice says
A comment on leadership: I read an intriguing article about the “Confidence Gap” (basically, women are raised to be “good”, but not “confident”, and people are naturally attracted to confident people, which is why there are more men in leadership roles in companies). And one of the downsides that they pointed out was that people WILL follow confident leaders, even if the less confident person is armed with facts about why the decision that the leader is making is wrong. Sp leadership is a good, desirable thing, but it is not, and should not, be the only thing.
Also, for an interesting look at leadership (and observer bias), I recommend watching “Meerkat Manor”, especially the shows after Flower died. It follows the lives of some meerkats in the wild, led by an alpha female named Flower. When she dies, three is a power vacuum and watching the band try to regroup around a new leader made me realize that it’s not so much that leaders lead but that followers follow. In essence, if there are two people, one saying go left and the other saying go right, the leader is the one that the group decides to go with. And there didn’t, to my eye (not that I got to see all the footage that the researchers did), seem to be much that the competing rivals did to influence that. As to observer bias, the show tells you with a straight face that “the alpha pair reserve breeding rights to themselves”, and then much of the episodes deal with the issues of subordinate females pregnant by roving males from rival bands, or the adventures of the band’s subordinate males as they go roving to seduce neighboring females. What the alphas, especially the alpha female, DO control is what pups are nurtured and reared by the band, and they do that with brutal efficiency. As a view into animal behavior, I can highly recommend the show.
Anne says
Yesterday I saw a sign in someone’s yard that said NO SIGNS IN THIS YARD. I didn’t take a picture, but I was amused.
I thought your review was very good and of course you have every right to post your opinions of the book.
Trisha says
Thanks flowing from me to you for all the supportive comments. And I never managed to see Meerkat Manor, and I am definitely putting it on my list for binge watching! Thanks hugely for the recommendation, and the insight that ‘leadership’ is a determined in essence by who individuals are willing to follow. Great insight.
Grethen says
NO and NO and NO!!! Do not use the Monks of Skete to train your dog. Dogs need ONLY positive training. Alpha wolves don’t trample their pack (OR HURT THEM or hold them on their backs) and our dogs are our pack. We are the Alpha…which means love, compassion, positive training and protecting in the canine world.
There are so, so many PhD dog behaviorists with books that teach us how to train our dogs. Our dogs love the positive, fun and imaginative training of true dog lovers.
Please, please do not use the Monks of Skete book. I have used their previous book. The advice was the same. My beautiful, intelligent Golden Retriever puppy that I loved was a mess and so was I!!! And my whole family grieved this sweet dog as he was confused, unhappy and a “train-wreck”. We all loved him. He loved us despite the “Monks” training. But never, never again will I do that to a sweet, sweet puppy.
Dogs just need to know that, as Patricia says, “we have their backs”. We humans can play and love on them and they will know that they are safe and their world is only happiness, playing with us and tail wags and wet sloppy kisses for us. POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT is the key. Our Golden boy lived to be 13 years and he was a trooper through all of the BAD advice from the Monks of Skete. By the time he was 4 years old, I finally figured out what he really needed and how wrong and detrimental was the advice of the Skete book. I have never turned back. I now have two sweet, intelligent and at times, very strong willed dogs that only get POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT. Yes, they can be naughty and the best way to stop it is by REDIRECTING, THEN REWARDING THE GOOD BEHAVIOR. AND IT WORKS EVERYTIME if you are CONSISTENT. It takes more energy, but is so much easier and so much fun to just reward, reward, reward with love, chin scratches, extra kibble and if he and she get really lucky, POPCORN!!!
Please, please do not train your sweet, loving doggie with the Monks of Skete method……And I threw my first book in the trash so no one would ever find it or try to use it for dog training.
Lucille White says
Trisha,
I am old enough that when my mom took my first pup to obedience school, they were using small explosives to discipline trouble makers. I never attended those classes because I was small and they were in the evening. When I did train my first dog, the classes were learning to use a training collar and long sits and downs. Some ” hanging” involved but not my dog. As I grew older and tended to train on my own, I missed the “roll over” phase though acquaintances were using it. When I got my Pyr puppy, I changed. I allowed walking on a slack leash, and many other things I wouldn’t have used in the past. We developed a partnership that I had never had with all my previous dogs. Then came YOU! I had just adopted my second ( and last) Pyr. He has been wonderful but can’t be left. I think his first owner never left him home, ( until her dad gave him away behind her back). My poor boy is so upset even though he is left with my adult son who always helps care for him, howling like a wolf until I return home.
The Other End Of The Leash was read 3 or 4 times to help settle him, though the separation anxiety remains. This was not the message I planned to send.
The Brothers of New Skete are monks.Not sure how often they leave their monastery. I saw their video and was not impressed, plus much money is raised via dogs. Shock collars are baric, and I can only imagine the emotional damage it would inflict on my sweet sensitive boy. I am disabled and he wears a training collar but it is barely needed.
You have been such a beautiful light on the subject of training with positivity. Your critique was professional and not personal in any way. Didn’t the publishers deign to read enough of your work and the Monks to know you are diametrically opposed in philosophy? How could they expect you to support that which is so harsh and demeaning to the animal?
This said, my family has been suggesting ” The Other End Of The Leash” to everyone we meet who has doggie problems, and there have been many! Keep up being true to yourself, and the many people who have learned from your wisdom! I am sorry that you have been targeted by miserable souls who just spew negativity. I have had to scroll through many supportive posts to add this to the list. Thank You for standing up for the truth that “training” needn’t be harsh and cruel. We are all behind you. Keep on being “you”!
Crandellpop says
I read both of the old New Skete books and learned several things. That I could train my dog, for example. But I never did exactly what they suggested. My dogs loved the down stay at dinner. I got peace and the dogs got treats. The New Skete books were not big on treats or fun. I remember they suggested that a dog be given only a single toy of the owner’s choosing. But I think their greatest fault was in failing to teach people how to develop a relationship with their dog based on love and trust. Too bad the new book sounds like more of the same. I learned about building a relationship with my pup from you, Trisha, as well as others like Rogerson (John), Donaldson, Dunbar, and Yin. My pups and I thank you so much.
Becky hanlon says
Please try not to take negative responses to heart. People will always have apposing viewe and find it easier to become nasty than to discuss.
I am training to become a behaviourist and am already seeing how difficult it is to just be honest about your beliefs but am realising all I can do is be honest and true about what I am doing and those who want to listen will and others just won’t. It’s the successes that need to be noted and people’s harsh comments ignored.
At the same time always being ready to learn with an open mind.
Thank you for standing up for what you beleive in a polite and admirable way. I will hopefully follow your lead in my path to doggy happiness.
We need more people like you x
Debby Gray says
I didn’t respond last week because by the time I read the post I thought it was too late. Here it is Thursday and there are already 65 comments. But in light of all the discussion I feel I need to comment.
26 years ago when I got my first dog, a little woe begone puppy part of a litter dropped off at a friend’s house, my cousin gave me a stern lecture on the responsibilities of having a dog and said she would let me borrow “2 wonderful books “on dog training. They were both written by the Monks of New Skete.
So I read and tried to use the methods in the book. One of these was “the roll” in which as I remember the dog is disciplined by a gentle but firm roll onto his or her back. Because again as I recall, this is how wolf cubs are disciplined. I tried it once on a very surprised MAC and a second time a few weeks later in front of friends at my house for a party. MAC saw this coming, was ready and we ended up in a comical wrestling match with all my friends laughing hysterically. That was the end of that.
MAC was an easy dog and we lived happily for 13 years.
Before I got my next dog I realized I needed different advice and I happened on Trisha’s website. Thank goodness! MeMe is a very different dog from the easy going, easy to train MAC. She has many issues. And I don’t think I would have had the knowledge and ability to stick with MeMe if I hadn’t read The other End of the Leash and the Cautious Canine. MeMe and I have now been together 13 years. I think without those books I might easily have returned her to Lab Rescue. So that is my heartfelt testimonial. Thank you Trisha!
LisaW says
The best sign I ever saw was on a back road in Texarkana.
It read “Uncertain 5 miles.”
We turned around 😉
Suzanne Clothier says
Good for you, Trish. An honest criticism is nothing to fear, and yet – based on the response you received – that’s not how it is for some folks.
I do not know why speaking critically about any methodology or equipment is greeted with such hysteria in the dog training community. But it surely is. Like you, I strive to criticize the technique or methods, not the person. Yet I am also taken to task for what are perceived as personal attacks.
Rigorous thinking and an appreciation for what comprises appropriate criticism are AWOL in dog training, in my experience. But there is a lot of dogma, rhetoric and flat out fear driving all this anger. It comes from both ends of the spectrum, ironically. I’ve been as roundly attacked by the “positive training” people as by anyone who uses compulsion based training. It may be that all tangled up in loving our dogs and our relationships with them are so many aspects not easily understood or addressed or even acknowledged: love for our dogs, fear of being inadequate or wrong, wanting to get it right but often failing and not knowing why, unrealistic expectations (of our dogs, ourselves, trainers, methods, equipment), guilt, anger, shame, emotional maturity, intellectual rigor. It is up to each of us to wade through that tangle. If we are lucky, we can find a clear, honest and honorable voice to help provoke our own thinking and explorations. Not Kool-aid to be swallowed, but a light that guides and says, “Have you looked over here? or seen it from this angle under this light?”
Thank you for speaking clearly about this latest Monks book, and holding up a light. If you can, take some small comfort in knowing that you’ve struck a nerve (see tangle referenced above!), and for some of those posting so negatively, a tiny light of discomfort may have been lit. Or not. It’s not your responsibility how people react to your work or thoughts. It’s only yours to be as honest, fair and clear as you can be. And for my money, your review is all of that.
Trisha says
Thank you Suzanne for adding your voice to the need for reasonable, enlightened discussions. I know you also know what it’s like to be out there in the arena, and that you too have been attacked for critiquing a type of method as if you had attacked the person espousing them. Oh the irony. It feels more important than ever, in this weird and crazy world that we are living in, to stand up for rational conversations in which people can respectfully disagree. I’m glad you’re out there. Stand tall.
Barb Stanek says
Didn’t find anything wrong with your review of the new New Skete book. Don’t find anything wrong with this post. Just thought you’d like to know I’m with you.
reverend elizabeth teal says
i am a monk in the world. i also am a minister. and a women and a trainer. ( yes, monk is an ungendered term, nun comes from renunciate.) and i am so very very grateful for your review, and your eloquent rebuttal. For far too long we have let the language of leadership be abused, in both practical and sacred ways. I have been a fan since i watched you teach policemen about bonobos many years ago, thank you for continuing this path – for it is forges a direction of hope and relationship with communication as the key, not dominance and submission.
May says
I wish I found your blog before I signed up for an obedience class which used the “leader of the pack” method. I mistakenly trusted a friend who recommended the place. As some of the commentators have mentioned each dog has a different personality and that old-time method was wrong for my Golden. I found another obedience school and positive reinforcement is the way to go. Please keep speaking up so that we can make the best informed decisions for our four-footed companions.
Kerry Ringer says
I rarely comment on any blog, but in this instance…..Thank you Patricia for speaking for those who cannot speak for themselves. We all owe it to our 4-legged friends to do our part in educating dog lovers on the kind way to help our furry friends assimilate into our 2-legged world. I am a proud convert from leash snapping to treats and praise thanks in a large part to you.
Mireille says
Hello Trisha, thank you for being courageous. I saw you mention the arena. Have you had the time to read Brene Browns latest book, Braving the Wilderness? There is a lot about conversations with people who disagree.
And I love the comment by Suzanna Clothier, thank you Suzanna! I participated in a Dutch dog forum where there were a couple of influential people who knew the answer to every problem. Unfortunately they forgot to ask questions to untangle sometimes complicated webs. I quit that forum, now I am on one with people that have strong opinions but manage to still have open discussions and who van admit they made mistakes.
So Trisha, hang in there! Some good will come of this 😉 You brave girl!
Frances says
“Them as can do, has to do for them as can’t. And someone has to speak up for them as has no voices.” Granny Aching.
― Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men
muttzrule says
A cute photo on the webz shows a No Dogs Allowed sign chalked or painted on pavement, with a smiling spaniel sitting on the first word so it says Dogs Allowed.
I second the recommendation for Meerkat Manor. Great binge watching material. In its original run, my family couldn’t wait for each weekly episode to see what happened to Flower, Shakespeare, Mozart and the rest of the gang.
Fran Berry says
Hi Trish,
A few years ago I happened to notice the original “Monks” book at a resale store so I bought it as I thought it had value (as does William Koehler’s and Captain Arthur Haggerty’s books and Cesar Millan’s videos), to be used as teaching tools in the history of dog training to explain to my novice dog-training students, how we used to teach before we had knowledge. So I was just a little flabbergasted that this antiquated “recycled” information is rearing it’s ugly head again; this time with a co author who runs shock-training workshops!
A few months back, Jean Donaldson facilitated a wonderful webinar for the Pet Professional Guild called “A Brief History of Corporal Punishment”; this was so illuminating as to why we need to use pain against others. Among the reasons, retribution sells and anytime you tap into that “hot button” by telling the public that their dog (neighbor, foreigner, unfamiliar religion etc.) is a sneaky, plotting animal that would murder the family while they slept if not for making a preemptive strike to keep the subordinate in his place, will buy into this! Not to mention how reinforcing the act is to the person meting out the punishment!
But despite the popularity of a certain TV dog trainer and his ilk, I believe the pendulum is swinging in another direction. Steven Pinker’s book, The Better Angels of our Nature details the history of violence and shows how it is on the decline. I take heart with this information. I remember that it wasn’t that long ago when people thought nothing of littering our streets, parks and public places. However tough ad campaigns (recall the American Indian’s tear-stained face as he stands beside a littered highway), laws and the pressure from ordinary citizens has caused a behavioral change in humans. And hopefully so will it be with this unregulated industry that when when ignorant authors write books on how to hurt dogs in the guise of a healthy human-hound relationship, we continue to speak up, change laws, and educate the public until compassion towards our animals (and fellow humans) becomes the new norm.
My three “What NOT to do” books sit among my personal library of the best books in the industry, written by diverse, educated, credentialed, compassionate authors, like you!
Training our domestic animals to become good companions is easy when we don’t hurt them. Training our humans to become good companions to animals will take a huge shift in conscientiousness.
Thank you for your courageous stand in the effort to facilitate the shift!
You are not alone!
Stacy says
I don’t think the rage was as much about your review as it was about you encouraging people who have not even read the book to leave one star reviews on Amazon.
You’re entitled to your opinion, but banding people together to “take down” a colleague? That is BULLYING and so ironic that you spout “positivity” and this is how you treat human beings. I’m not even in the dog training industry, but was pointed to your post as an example of slanderous behavior among colleagues.
Wouldn’t it be better to focus on your own work and beliefs? Wouldn’t your time be used better to write your own book or create a podcast or use another way to share YOUR work? Why does it have to be about taking down other people, trying to ruin their livelihood?
I’m sure you’ll delete this comment, but I hope one day you can evaluate how you handled this situation.
Jenny H says
Love you Patricia 🙂 Keep up the good work, and remember:
“There’s nowt sop queer as folk!”
Jenny H says
Sorry “Nowt SO queer as folk!”
Betsy Calkins says
You are brave. You are smart. You are kind. And you are powerful. Thank you for standing up for our animal companions and for so many of us who are out in the world fighting the good fight all by ourselves. We need more people to speak up and speak out. Your words and deeds matter because you are a person of respect—that’s why you got complaints! So, you know that you did something important. You and Jane Goodall are my heroes! Much love and appreciation.
Melissa Bishop says
Your review was spot on, and you needed to write it BECAUSE you are a leader in the field. I am grateful for you, your wisdom and your blog, Trish.
Trisha says
TO Stacy: To be clear, my review never mentioned writing a review on Amazon. I mentioned Amazon only in a response to a comment. Keep in mind also that authors encourage everyone they know to write reviews on Amazon.. there is nothing wrong with this, but it is helpful to remember that all reviews written are not unbiased accounts. Thank you though for writing in and adding your voice to the discussion. I will keep your remarks in mind.
Kim Laird says
I am so glad you spoke out, but sorry you got personally attacked. I read your original review and agreed with it, including the sentence about what will help sell the book. It is true that there is that allure (romantic notions a plus) behind monkish robes. And I liked that you didn’t attack the authors on a personal level, only the method. We have your back. I hope you realize that and that this helps a little bit.
Saw a friend harshly correct her dog (not even a year old) for not going down. It was a chaotic situation, some dogs were close to her dog, people were walking behind it. She got after it, and I watched the dog’s sad, fearful face as she slowly went down. Major loss of confidence right there. I said something about it, “I think she’s worried.” and my friend said, “I don’t care, she still has to do what she’s told to do…. ” So sad. A total misuse of “leadership.” and a lack of understanding of the true situation. And I found myself unable to discuss it with her. No words… So thank you for having the words to talk about it and to keep talking about it, in the attempt to be fully understood.
Kim Laird says
My favorite sign from London, “Changed Priorities Ahead” which seemed an apt metaphor for life in general.
Heidrun says
For someone able to write a book like The Education of Will, no kind of “sh*tstorm” on the internet should possibly make them feel bad.
You are inspiring so many people all over the world, not only with your tremendous amount of scientific knowledge about animal behaviour and the obvious love you have for all creatures. But with your honesty–writing also about mistakes you made, things in your life that didn’t go so well and the lessons you’ve learned from all that. To be so honest about personal experiences takes a lot of courage.
You are brave–I salute you. Thank you so much for being who you are.
PirateFoxy says
I’ve noticed people can get quite fierce about their chosen style of dog training, to the point it seems basically religious. (“No” is not a magic word that is going to horribly traumatize a dog if they just hear it. I’ve met positive trainers who are convinced it is, though. Likewise, your dog is not planning to take over the house as soon as you let your guard down, the second you feed him first it’s all over. Some Milan types seem convinced of that. It’s bizarre.)
That means that any challenge to the dogma of their preferred method is met with a hugely emotional response. The internet only exacerbates that. It makes sensible conversation very difficult.
This is, of course, to the detriment of all of us and our relationship with our dogs, as discussion between people with different points of view and different goals often ends up with all participants learning things. (Maybe you don’t like someone’s method, but their perspective on the cause of a problem is one you hadn’t considered, for example – you can learn without agreeing.)
Personally I try to keep in my mind first something my dad was told by a dog trainer way back when – dogs want to make you happy. It’s your job to show them how to do that. Seems to work pretty well as an approach to most pet dogs I’ve had.