I know. Really, I do. There are many downsides to the commercialization of the winter holiday season. We all know that they are-too focused on material things, leading to too much stuff in the world for the environment, and too hard on folks who can’t afford food much less gifts.
I’m always resistant to make too much of holiday gifts on the blog and social media for those reasons, and because it tends to cause so many non-Christians to feel left out.
And, but. The end of the year is a time I like to reflect about how much friends and family mean to me, and how I think of ways to show how much I care.
So, I’m throwing out some ideas for those of you who also love to wrap up, or send things to those you love, in hopes it adds to joy rather than causes stress. I decided a long time ago–growing up in a house that was full of tension and tears every holiday season–that I would only do what felt fun and loving. Here are some thoughts about how I think of giving during the last month of the year.
First and foremost: I give to people I don’t know. We are all surrounded by folks who can barely put food on the table. I find that inexcusable in this land of plenty, but there we are. Every year I give what I can afford to the local Food Pantry. Every bit counts, so if you can, join me, even if it’s just five dollars. I literally stopped writing this to make my donation this year.
I give to the land. This year I’m continuing a substantial contribution to
Wisconsin Green Fire, an environmental organization that “supports our conservation legacy by promoting science-based management of natural resources.” They get the credit, in my opinion, for providing the research that finally updated Wisconsin’s wolf management plan from one of wild ass speculation (and negative views about wolves), to one based on regulations designed to keep a healthy wolf population in the state, decrease wolf-human conflicts, and honor the indigenous legacy of respect for their wolf brothers. Full disclosure: I’m one of Green Fire’s Ambassadors, proud to be included with others like Russ Feingold, Patty Loew, Tia Nelson, and Kathleen Falk.
I give to my family. I especially love providing some financial suppport for the adventures of my three, beloved nieces (Wendy P, Annie P, and Emily E), and my three grand nephews.
Jim and I make a lot of food for family and friends. Jim makes his famous holiday cookies, which people try to find ways to ask about without being too obvious. Yes, they are that good, and yes, they will be in the gift bags! I’ve already made one batch of homemade ketchup (catsup?). It’s easy to make until you put it in these way-fun bottles, thus turning your kitchen into a scene from a horror movie. There will be more, scones always, and maybe some pumpkin or banana bread?
Gifts cards, home made food, and plain old money go to people who make a huge difference in my life, from my Pilates coach, to our farm sitter, my acupuncture guru, to our favorite servers at local restaurants. One of the later always gets a $100 tip because they deserve it and aren’t paid enough and it makes me crazy happy to be able to do it.
Yup, I buy stuff. Lots of books, especially from independent book stores like Arcadia Books in Spring Green, WI. I just finished a food/family relationship novel, Bread and Butter by Michelle Wilgen, which I adored. I’ll be sending that to some friends for sure because they’ll love it as much as I did.
A interesting book for people SUPER into their dog’s health is Beyond Dog Massage, by Jim Masterson. Subtitled “A Breakthrough Method for Relieving Soreness and Achieving Connection,” I was skeptical at first. I see so many books/podcasts/seminars advertising “Break Through” and “Revolutionary” that one becomes inured. But I found the book interesting and compelling. The method, originally developed with horses, is “an interactive method of animal bodywork that follows and uses the animal’s responses to your touch to find and release tension . . .” Following the author’s methods is not for a dabbler. A person could spend a looong time just working on the early stages, and I’d argue would want to get a vet’s go ahead before doing too much more, but my experience with massage and acupressure leads me to at least find this something to consider. It’s beautifully produced book, with lots of photographs and figures of the musculature and skeletal system of the dog. So, if you’re looking for a gift for someone who is all in, go for it.
If this isn’t the right dog-related gift book, dive into the resources of “the Amazon of Dog Books,” Dogwise. From new books on Agility Training, to classics like “Mine,” on resource guarding, Dogwise has it all. You pretty much can’t miss going there if you’re interested in a dog-related book.
My favorite non-dog book is Healing Visions, by photographer Meg Boscov and her literary husband Randall Brown. The book includes 50 of Meg’s astoundingly beautiful photographs, paired with the work of 50 writers asked to write 100 words–no more, no less–that fit with the image. The book has won so many awards I can’t even list them here, but here’s what Kirkus Reviews has to say (KR is a HUGE deal in publishing): “…a feast for the eyes and a set of beguiling ruminations on its rich variety. Sublime botanical visuals elicit haunting meditations on the evanescence of beauty.”
[Note: I added this in on the 10th, can’t believe I didn’t put it in first time!]
More fun stuff: Love jigsaw puzzles? It’s not the week between Christmas and New Year’s at our house if there’s not a jigsaw puzzle out on the table. Here’s one that looks fabulous: 299 dogs (and a cat)! No two pieces are the same, and all but one are in the shapes of a dog. (Except, of course, the cat.) There is also a follow up puzzle, 299 cats (and a dog). Of course there is.
And then, there’s the universally popular theme of dogs pooping. (We are such a weird species.) Last year I sent a friend of jigsaw puzzle of dogs pooping, maybe this year I should send the calendar, “Dogs Pooping in Beautiful Places“? But the absolute winner, in this category, suitable only for the dog obsessed (or someone you dislike), is this:
A toothpaste dispenser that provides toothpaste out of a dog’s, uh, butt.
Having no ability to fall any lower in the humor department, and with my sincere apologies, I think I’d better stop here.
MEANWHILE, back on the farm: Help! I’m obsessed with getting my novel’s manuscript in shape to, at least, be read by other agents in my literary agency. (If they like it, next step is to prepare a proposal to send out to publishers.) But, here’s what is scattered through the text: “I got back to [farm name] just in time to …..”.
I need a farm name! Here’s what there is to know: The protagonist lives on a 40 acre farm in southern Wisconsin, somewhere between Madison and Milwaukee. As regular readers know, it felt challenging enough to try writing fiction, and a mystery no less, after writing non-fiction for so many years. So, I stuck with a background that I know well–a farm, a border collie, and some sheep. But what is the name of the farm?
Some helpful descriptors include that the farm is bounded on the west by tentatively called Clearwater Creek (I listed “Clear Creek” on Facebook, but found out there is such a place in Wisconsin!), has a somewhat dilapidated, old farm house that our heroine meant to fix up but never did, raises Katahdin sheep, has a Great Pry LGD (livestock guarding dog), has some lovely old oaks, lots of wild berries, and is full of typical Wisconsin bird life, including some way cool owls.
I put this out last week on Facebook, and got over 500 ideas. Holy moly. But I couldn’t leave you, my village, out of this, so I’d love it if you jumped in and added your own ideas.
The photo below is not Clearwater Creek, it’s Black Earth Creek, but it’s close to what a gazillion creeks in Wisconsin look like in winter.
So, jump in! (Not into the creek, please.) I’d love some ideas. [Note about the novel: At some point I’ll write a post about the process of getting a book published–it’s a long, winding road–but IF the book is taken by a publisher, say by March of next year?, it’ll still be a year before it comes out. So, I don’t mean to tease you; it’ll be a long time before the book actually comes out.
I hope you jump in with two things: Your ideas for great dog-related gifts (or other categories), and your possible names for the farm in my hopefully-to-be-published novel. I can’t wait to hear what you have to say . . .
Debby Gray says
I’m so excited that your novel is ready to be read by editors! What about Crystal Creek? Or since this is a mystery, Muddy Creek?
I too like to give gifts. I try to remember people who just do their jobs and do them well for my benefit. The local cleaners who open up at 7:30 6 days a week and are cheerful friendly and competent.
lak says
A Cold death on Clearwater Creek! Love the photo of the creek. I live in MI and winter is as beautiful as every other season. Still walk the dog at least 3 miles per day unless temps drop below 5 degrees, sometimes have to split the walk in half do to wind chill, but exhilarating none the less! I too love the holiday season. While nostalgic, I still try to find something new to add every year, even if it is just new cards or stamps! Happy Holidays and thank you for an interesting, educational, and fun blog!
Frances says
Ummmm… your words bring Manderley to mind, but perhaps that would not work!
Thanks for the review of Beyond Dog Massage – it is a book I have been considering but was waiting for reassurance that it was more than woo!
Wendy says
Hi. The idea of researching a possible farm name for your book was just too enticing not to play along, so here’s my attempt to help. I am not Native American, but with your love of the land, I took that as my inspiration. Geographically, it looks like your farm is located in the region where the Potawatomi Tribe lived. The Potawatomi have a medicine wheel that is divided into four sectors by season. North/winter is the color white and the corresponding medicine is Sweet Grass, which attracts positive spirits. How does “Sweet Grass Farm” on Clearwater Creek sound to you?
Kathleen Dana Garrity says
I would love your recipe for ketchup!
Melissa Trippe says
I’m not sure our first Border Collie, Alice, ever complied with a “LIE DOWN” command so we named our little farm “Lie Down Alice Farm.” Obviously, a name change would be in order . . . Whatever the name of your fictional farm, I’ll be reading it!
Amy says
I love a portmanteau for a farm name… Oakberry Farm
As a Sconnie through and through, I have to say “Clearwater” doesn’t put me in Wisconsin; the name takes me out of place, feels dissonant for the setting. Something like “Red Berry Creek” feels more right and also gives that hint of puzzle – are the berries red there or is the water tinged?
This is fun and exciting for you! Eager to read when it exists!
Joshua says
Could be an opportunity to:
Honor somebody special (Tulip Woods)
Attempt something witty (Meanwhile Ranch)
Aggressively pander (“Publisher’s Name” Pastures)
patrick says
Aztalan Acres……near the ancient and myterious Aztalan settlement near lake Mills
Amber says
Every year we take our combined Christmas bonuses and convert them to cash. We buy a couple packs of non-religious cards and we put 50$ in each one. We carry them around everywhere and hand one out when we see the right person. Sometimes it’s the cashier at the minimart, sometimes it’s a homeless person, sometimes it’s the person in the grocery store buying diapers and generic everything. We have the benefit of our income all year. The bonus money is meant to spread joy. And we feel so magical gifting it randomly and anonymously. This is by far my favorite part of the year, and the happiest tradition.
Charlotte Kasner says
Home-made dog treats (lots of suitably shaped cutters available). I also buy a of selection of Fish4Dogs treats. I save all sorts of boxes and cartons throughout the year and then fill them with a selection of goodies for long-tern clients.
I also recommend cloved oranges. They are a bit tedious to make but the smell is amazing (well maybe not for dogs).
Details here (I cover mine completely unlike these):
https://www.almanac.com/how-make-pomander-balls
LisaW says
I did pipe in on FB, but I’ll offer a few more in addition to
Crook’s Creek (double entendre)
Whiskered Owl Creek
Sawwhet Creek
So exciting to hear that your first novel is coming into fruition. Congrats!
I bought these earplugs for construction crews working on one of our houses a while back. A bit different than the toothpaste model and so cute in!
https://www.ebay.com/itm/272888270315
kamila jeong says
I love giving gifts as well. I still remember the sheer joy people got from some of my gifts. I grew up very poor, so whilst I do not have much, I’m in a position to have be able to give without worrying about it and it makes me happy. I AM in a position to give to people without worrying, how amazing is that. I HAVE enough to be able to share.
I like gifting to myself as well though and this year I have signed up to be a shelter volunteer. I can only give 8 hours a month (6 hours is the minimum), but it’s not something I could’ve done before.
ps any chance of getting Jim’s cookie recipe 😋
Barb Stanek says
Oh good! A word game! I’m sending you the name that I gave my two and a half acres. No barn. No “farm” animals.
BUT a restored prairie. Any number of cats and dogs. A house that I’ve been meaning to update but never have. Gorgeous 150-200 year old oaks. My piece of heaven on earth. I call it Kaleidoscope Farm. Of course I love it with undying passion.
Don’t like that? (I know it’s a long word and looks long and clunky on paper. But when you say it, it’s a word filled with ever-changing possibilities!) In any case, I think it’s Des Moines, Iowa, that calls itself the city of five seasons. (I couldn’t figure it out. Then someone we asked said, “Indian summer.” Oh!) In any case, I always thought that if I had a farm to name again, I would strongly consider Five Seasons Farm.
Thanks for the game! Good luck. Can’t wait for the book. Joining you in gift giving rapture!
Tails Around the Ranch says
For years, I’ve made gifts at the holidays not only because I think I’d rather gargle with broken glass than go shopping and second, because I think (hope) people like homemade gifts from the heart. I’ll be making beef jerky for uprights and sweet potato jerky for the 4 legged sect. For some reason I didn’t start soon enough so that’s about all I’ll be able to handle this year. Normally I’d start in September but it was too hot to even think of Christmas and now I’m going to have to scramble. Bless you for making your gifts-I’m sure they’ll be well received and supporting special causes will also be appreciated. Happy ‘howlidays!’
Trisha says
Barb: Ooooh, liking Kaleidoscope Farm. Thanks for playing the word game!
Trisha says
Kamila: Re the cookie recipe–someone asked for the ketchup recipe too, looks like I just might have to do a post on food!
Trisha says
Amber: What a fantastic idea! I love love it. Spreading random happiness comes back double to us, doesn’t it? It makes me so happy to be able to surprise some people. Yay on youu for spreading the joy!
Trisha says
Patrick: Ooooh, interesting idea. Love the reminder of the settlement. Worried about cultural appropriation though…
Trisha says
Joshua: “Aggresively pander” is now one of favorite phrases. Needs to be generic though, since don’t know the publisher yet (assuming there is one!). Maybe “I Love My Publisher Farm?”, or “NYT Best Seller Farm?”
Geri Yaccino says
🤣Love your sense of humor. DOGS POOPING INTERESTING PLACES is on my gift list.
Louise Ehrich says
I have done Masterson Method on my horses and can’t recommend it enough.
Trisha says
Louise, that’s good to hear, thanks for chiming in.
Kathleen Askins says
Forgive this being so off-topic, but I had to chuckle when I saw your newsletter in my in-box. Last night I tried your formula for getting a dog to stop bugging you. My almost perfect, but needy, lab was sitting in front of me, kinda demanding attention. I did the two brisk pats on head, and turned away…..he scooted closer and rested his head on my knee…hahaaaa😂
Nannette Morgan says
I like searching for special gifts for special friends. Every year I exchange a special tree ornament with my friend back in Salem MA.
Farm names: This probably won’t work for you but I find it so funny I had to share: A ranch north of me is called “Quien Sabe Ranch” which means “Who Knows?!”
Happy Howlidays everyone!
Trisha says
Kathleen, thanks for the laugh. Ah! labs. (But sometimes ot takes 2-3 times at first) And,
Like anything,sometimes it never works at all.🌝
Becky Garbarino says
This is not related to gifting, but to the Masterson book itself. After reading about the book, I did some research and found a Masterson Method practitioner in my area. I reach out to see if she did “dog work.” She is in the process of getting certified as a dog practitioner and has used the method on her dog with success. She said if I was comfortable with her working on my senior, arthritic dog, she would be happy to see how he responded. It was fascinating to watch her work and to see my dog respond to the various points on his body where the tension seemed to reside. I could see him relax and the tension release as she worked gently on those area. Bottom line…this definitely isn’t something I would try on my own, but I do see it as a modality to add to his “achy old man” routine.
Kathleen Askins says
Dr. McConnell, thanks for your kind response….i feel honored. I’ve read most of your books, and have passed them along to others…. (Who don’t return them!😖 hahaaa). Have a wonderful holiday!
P.S. can’t wait for the new mystery novel
Jann Becker says
“Clearwater”, to me, sounds like Florida. I like “Kaleidoscope” though.
Emerson Dahmen says
Definitely a good time to make an extra donation to your local food pantry, maybe also local animal aid and favorite conservation organization, which could consist of volunteer time as well as financial aid.
re: dog-related holiday gift. The Planet Dog Orbee-Tuff dog food toy is a great gift for your favorite dog or dog enthusiast. A handful of kibble in it will keep an experienced canine puzzle solver busy for many minutes and a larger treat can challenge even the gifted. The joy of watching my PWD use paws, jaws, pushing the toy against furniture for leverage, finding the toy placed in difficult-to-find and/or access locations has not gotten even slightly stale after several months of daily use.
Pat Anderson says
I love naming things, but I cannot do better than Wendy’s “Sweetgrass Farm” I I hereby throw my enthusiasm behind that one.
Kristin Gornick says
A small farm not far from me in Sonoma County is named “Hands Full Farm.” I’ve always liked the double meaning of that, in that one is blessed but also has plenty of work! I love the “Sweetgrass Farm” idea though; it’s just beautiful.
Karen says
I live in Australia where 40 acre farms running a few sheep are hobby farms. Proper farms are called stations and are the size of small countries. Naming conventions tend to describe the country, articulating characteristics that place a location in its context. Thinking about that, the more clearly you can see it, the more clearly we’ll see it as readers. Flat? Undulating? Microclimate? Woods? Scorched earth? Bare paddocks? Rare flora? History?
Having said that my suggestion for your farm is Two Tooth.
I love gifting because I have to really think about the person to get it right and it’s such a pleasure when I sometimes get it right.
Thanks for your blog. I thoroughly enjoy it.
Trisha says
Karen: Love hearing from Australia. And oh yes, 40 acres is indeed a hobby farm. (Not to mention my measly 12!) Thought you’d enjoy a quick story from our time at a station in New Zealand (called that there too?). If I remember right they had about 10,000 head. When I said I had sheep too, they all turned–this at the dinner table of the farmhouse–and said “Oh! Really. How many head?” When I answered “fourteen” they burst out laughing.
Shannon F says
For some reason the word “Miracle” came to mind for the farm! Love your blog!
Kat says
This is an actual farm name so probably not suitable but it’s such a great name “Sagging Fence Farm.” It’s one of the places in our not really a CSA (Crop Share Association). It feels like I should explain that a bit more. Rather than just purchasing whatever is ripe at a particular farm I shop a group that bundles ripe produce from a bunch of farms and instead of just getting what’s ripe I can choose what I want in my box for that week. It’s like a CSA in that it is direct from the farm and based on what’s ripe but less limiting.
I keep toying with the name Kat Creek Acres for the farm name but I might be biased, lol.
I’m going to have to pick up Beyond Massage. It sounds very much like what our wonderful integrative vet is teaching me. But I’m learning much more of the how than the what or the why. I do know I love the way it feels when I release the tight spot on D’Artagnan or Falkor and they relax further and kind of sigh contentedly. I’m starting to be able to feel it before they tell me I got it.
Leslie Forrest says
OK, don’t ask me why, but here’s what popped into my head when you asked about a name for the farm – Mahatma Katahdin Farm. Perhaps too much going on in my head right now!
You also mentioned jigsaw puzzles, and I had a chance at sharing Christmas joy involving puzzles just yesterday. I saw a puzzle entitled Sunflower Quilting Bee at Arles. It’s based on a quilt crafted by Faith Ringgold. The puzzle just reminded me of one of the members of our NoseWork class which meets on Monday mornings; so, I mentioned it to her. Turns out Faith Ringgold was my friend’s brother’s graduate MFA advisor in college and she currently has her work on display at Museum of Modern Art. My classmate had no idea that there were puzzles representing Ringgold’s art and immediately bought two! Tis’ the season of serendipity and sharing.
Chris from Boise says
I propose Meadowlark Farm – would have suggested Redstart Farm but that was already taken :-). Would love to hear more of the actual making of a book.
I get so turned off by the commercialization of Christmas (and Thanksgiving, and Halloween…), and am a terrible gift-selector, so it’s pretty easy to turn into a grinch at this time of the year. A few years ago I found the cure for that, and it is first on your list: giving to people I don’t know. Once we started giving donations to charity in honor of special people in our lives, we tapped into the Christmas spirit. In early December, we send requests to those special people to name their favorite non-profits, and about mid-December we start making donations in their names. Plus gift certificates to independent bookstores for our far-flung grand-nieces and -nephews.
We rope in some neighborhood kids to bake Christmas cookies for them to distribute, and we hang family ornaments on our Charlie Brown lemon tree.
All that being said, some of your gift suggestions made me laugh out loud, as did LisaW’s earplugs!
Barbara says
If I’m not too late to make a suggestion, how about Woolly Bear Farm? Those little caterpillars are cute and fuzzy and so brave as they try to make it across our Wisconsin roads. Plus your farm has sheep with wool so … just a thought.