WRITTEN MID-JULY, POSTED WHILE I’M IN AFRICA:
I recently spent three evenings with Jim’s son, daughter-in-law and granddaughter Taylor, and so the issue of kids and dogs is near and dear to me right now. I also, in that serendipitous way of the world, just received a question about how to find help for a Boxer who growled at a grand child from the post Who Should Treat Behavioral Problems.
Young children and dogs can be the best of friends, or the worst of enemies. There’s just no way around it, to some dogs, kids can be unpredictable, rude, and/or frightening. And surely, to some kids, dogs can be unpredictable, rude and/or frightening. Given that, here’s some generic advice, sprinkled with specifics from Will’s encounters with Taylor.
1) Never live in the land of “I-think-it-will-be-okay.” If you are not 110% positive that an interaction between a child and a dog will be safe, don’t allow it to happen. Any time I hear “I think it will be okay,” red flags start to wave. What does “I think it’ll be okay” mean? That maybe, probably, it’ll be okay, but you’re not sure? I’ve had 21 years of hearing people say that they “thought” it would be okay, and then they were sitting in my office, crying about whether to euthanize or re-home their dog. Granted, two decades of hearing about bites, law suits and potential euthanasias makes a person especially cautious, but that’s still what I’d advise any parent or dog owner to be: extra cautious. When dogs bite, it happens like lightening, so don’t think (there’s that word again) that you can prevent something because you’re ‘right there.’ You can’t. If you’ve ever believed me on anything, believe me on this.
2) Always protect both the child and the dog. It is neither fair nor safe to sit back and let a child harass a dog (or vice versa) because the dog is “so good with kids.” Well, he may be now, but after a number of years of pulled tails and poked eyes, he may decide he’s had enough. (That was a VERY common presentation in my office: “He’s always been so good with kids, he’d let them do anything to him, and then, out of the blue, he bit the neighbor boy.”) If you don’t protect your dog from a child who has not yet learned to interact politely with a dog, you are forcing your dog to protect him or herself. Some dogs can’t take it the first time, but others put up with it until they are older and sick of it. Even if your dog never threatens a child, it’s not fair to the dog AND it is teaching the child to interact in ways that may get him bitten by another dog. Speaking of teaching. . .
3) Both children and dogs need to be taught, gently and kindly, how to interact. If your dog is too exuberant, you might yelp as if you were a litter mate when the play got too rough. I’ve used a sound like ARPPP! (think seal here), that bursts out of my mouth when a dog has been a bit too rough with something weaker. It usually gets a startle response from the dog, and sometimes (not always) the dog seems to get the idea that she must self-handicap better and inhibit herself. Children always need to learn how to interact kindly with real dogs, given that they tend to treat them like stuffed animals until they learn better and acquire more emotional control. Any trainer or behaviorist can tell you legions of stories about kids who ran up to dogs, grabbed their heads and kissed the dog on the nose, while the parents watch with big smiles on their face. Until the dog bit, then the smiles go away.
4) Management is a good solution in many cases. Lots of dogs either can’t tolerate the energy and arousal of young children, especially if they are not used to them. Some dogs can learn to be comfortable around children with positive experiences, and some dogs can’t. Some dogs can be around kids in certain contexts, and not others (see about Willie and granddaughter below). There is nothing wrong with keeping kids and dogs apart, as long as both are in comfortable places. Willie loves his crate, and spent a lot of time in it Sunday when the whole family was visiting. Not for a minute did I feel guilty–he could rest and not be expected to deal with arousal levels over his head, and I could relax and enjoy my company rather than being vigilant every single second.
5) Use conditioning to ease the relationship. I’ll use Operant conditioning next time Taylor comes out, asking Willie “Where’s Taylor?” He loves this game, loves “Where’s Jim” and “Where’s Trisha?” and it’s a great way to relax him around a child. Of course, I’ll be standing right next to Taylor, and will have her throw him a toy when he gets close (but not too close.) I’ll use Classical conditioning too, having Taylor toss or feed him treats (he’s has already taken several from her hand, mommy instructing her to hold her hand out flat on top of mommy’s hand) or toss his toys. I can teach Willie to lie down every time Taylor starts to run, to play bow when he sees her… etc etc etc. The point here is that it is our job to teach our dogs how to interact, what we want from them, and to do all we can to influence their emotional state when around children.
Will doing all this make every dog trustable around kids? Not a chance. Every dog is different, and some dogs will never be comfortable around kids, period. For those dogs, either management or a new home might be the best alternative. I’d be curious how you have handled this issue, and what your experiences have been. It’s such a huge part of our culture: kids and dogs, and how they interact. (By the way, Colleen Pelar has a book coming out in fall on how people in the profession can help parents raise kids and dogs. I reviewed it and it is great! I’ll keep you posted.) (8/23: When I first posted this I attributed the book to Robin Bennet, who has collaborated with Colleen in the past. Robin, gently and graciously corrected my foolish mistake.)
Meanwhile, back at the farm: here’s Lassie and Taylor (and her dad Shane) playing around the wading pool (of course, this wading pool is normally for the dogs!). Note Lassie’s open mouth and relaxed posture, a good sign that she is comfortable at the moment. However, even though Lassie has been absolutely bomb-proof with children for all of her life, we still monitored all her interactions with Taylor, who didn’t know (how could she?) that it’s not a good idea to take a dog’s muzzle in your hands and squeeze. Why Taylor wanted to do this no one knows, but her parents are fantastic about teaching her to be polite around dogs, and they watched her (as did I) literally every second she interacted with Lassie. This level of hands-on interaction was only allowed because I have 14 years of experience with Lassie as adoring young children, and because Taylor’s parents were as vigilant as I. Even though Lassie has been amazing around kids, she IS 15 1/2 years old, and it is not fair to expect her to put up with things she would have in the past, so we still watched all interactions carefully. Even at only two years of age, Taylor is learning how to interact with unfamiliar dogs… would that all parents be so wonderful as Taylor’s!
Here’s Taylor and mom Rachel at the zoo, doing what all kids do: hugging. And she’s hugging the perfect animal, a statue that can’t take offense or turn around and bite her!
Teaching children not to hug dogs is a true challenge, it is clearly part of our species’ natural repertoire (I talk about this at length in The Other End of the Leash), and something that is hard for children to inhibit. To us, hugs are a sign of affection, but to most dogs they are, at best, something to put up with. To nervous, reactive or status-seeking dogs, hugs are rude, offensive and threatening. The few times that Taylor started to hug Lassie we gently re-directed her to another behavior. However, I never would have allowed Taylor and Willie to be in a situation in which a hug might even have started… I simply don’t trust him around children this young yet. Willie is reactive, easily made nervous, unfamiliar with young children, and nippy when objects (not live ones) start moving around fast. It has taken him years to keep himself from nipping a mop or broom and I have to remind him still not to nip the tires of the wheelbarrow when it is moving. Granted, that’s not the same as living things, but again, being conservative is smart. Being anything else around kids and dogs is not. When Taylor was running around in the house, Willie spent lots of time in his crate (and got lots of treats brought to him for being so quiet and patient about it). Later, we went on a walk with all of us in which Taylor and Willie could get used to each other without directly interacting, and spent some time in the yard with the whole gang outside. Note that there are no photos of Willie and Taylor; taking pictures would have distracted me from being as vigilant I necessary. Maybe next time?
On a walk in a prarie, which was the third time that Willie had seen Taylor, I noticed that Willie ran up, with a completely relaxed body, to Taylor and her mom and licked faces. I praised and called him away immediately…. to insure that things ended on a good note. Overall, everything went beautifully, but possibly because I was hyper conservative, never allowed any interactions I wasn’t 110% comfortable with, and Taylor’s parents were amazingly observant and cautious. Things might have been fine without that level of vigilance, I am the first to admit I was being hyper conservative. . . but there was no cost to being so, and a big cost to everyone if things had not gone well.
And, if you’ll indulge me, just a note about Jim’s grand daughter? . . . Can I say it now, or is it just too tacky and grand-parenty? Oh well, I’ll say it anyway, awash in oxytocin as I am: IS TAYLOR CUTE OR WHAT?
Faith says
I can’t tell you how much I appreciate how you’ve outlined things here. I’ve read your books (love them!) but having a concise list like this is nice – and easier to pass on to others. I’ve always felt that number 2 on your list is very important – protect the child AND the dog. So many people I know, especially with little dogs, always seem to think it’s ok for my child to do nearly whatever he wants to their dogs, always saying, “Oh, he/she loves kids. It will be fine.” My son is almost 3 and it requires a lot of persistence to teach him how to behave appropriately; we work on it every day and we need lots of repetition. We have 3 hunting dogs (high prey drive, anyone?), and while I love them dearly, I don’t feel it’s it’s fair to leave them unsupervised together ever. The “middle dog” is nicknamed Miss Congeniality, and tolerates a lot, but even she will reach her threshhold at times. I let my dogs interact with my son, but when we’re in the house they are usually in different areas separated by a gate – constant management. I do let them together, but only when I know I can be 100% attentive to everyone. Sidebar – my dogs are also VERU good retrievers and unfortunately anything on the floor is fair game so I try to minimize the possibility that they are constantly retrieving toys that aren’t theirs!!! It doesn’t matter if it’s a dog or another child, but “stealing” toys can upset the 3-year-old. I admit I am releived to see #4 as it’s how I deal with a lot of things. And while it’s not 100% of the time, I constantly do what I can to reinforce the positive interactions my dogs have with my son (and my 6-month-old triplet girls). They get lots of “Xs”, my marker word, and then vocal praise and pats/scratches (and treats when possible).
And Trisha, not at all too tacky. Taylor is adorable!
Kat says
Taylor is indeed a cutie. And it sounds like her parents are marvelous. Ranger is probably as bomb proof around kids as it is possible to be across species lines but I’m still astonished by the ignorance of so many parents who will allow their child to run up to an unfamiliar dog and start loving on him. Just because he is a solid citizen doesn’t mean every dog will be or that he might not be having a grumpy day where he’d prefer a slower interaction. We do our best to be vigilant and at any sign he’s had enough we break off the interaction and move on. I can’t imagine not respecting his right to be done with a rude or overly enthusiastic child.
A few months ago we were visiting my family and my son and niece, both nearly 10 yrs old, were playing a game that involved running from one room to another and bouncing on exercise balls. Ranger would run with them between rooms and bark at their bouncing. As the excitement level escalated Ranger started to try to take control of the game and bring it back to a level where he was more comfortable. I had the children stop playing for a bit, put Ranger on his leash and he went for a walk. As long as things were at the level of running, bouncing and barking I was confident that both my son and niece were entirely safe but the first herding move Ranger made I wasn’t confident about where that might end up so he left on a walk. He was too wound up so he was encouraged to leave the situation into one where his stimulation level would return to one that was more appropriate.
Really, it’s all about knowing your dog and being aware of the risks and taking action accordingly. As another example, I know that Ranger will occasionally whip his head around and air snap near my hand or arm when I’m worrying at a particularly stubborn snarl in his coat. I accept that this is his way of screaming ouch because I’ve pulled too hard and hurt him. Of course I try not to do that but when he’s gotten a burr caught in his coat and then rolled in tree sap it can be a challenge even to get it loosened enough to cut it out. My response to him when he does this is a stern no and when he looks away I follow it with apologetic petting. However, because I know me might respond like that I’m the only one that is allowed to groom him when he’s a mess. I’ll accept the risk for me but not for anyone else. When his coat is clean and snarl free he loves grooming for awhile but when he’s had enough he will simply walk away.
Khris Erickson says
As someone who does education for a humane society, I can’t stress the point of this blog enough. One of the programs I do for kids between the ages of 3 and up is animal safety – but my 1/2 hour program isn’t enough. Kids need to hear this information over, and over, and over again before it makes an impact on them.
One example of this is that I will tell the children that dogs don’t like hugs, and explain why. Then I’ll have a discussion about where dogs DO like to be petted. As soon as I finish my presentation and allow the children to come up to pet my dog there will be at least 2 or 3 kids who start to throw their arms around Mystic’s neck – despite the fact that we talked about hugs only minutes earlier. Mystic adores children and always gets treats when this happens, so it isn’t an issue. However, I worry about the next dog they do it to.
Kristin says
My dog is 12 and my youngest daughter is 4. Sophie, my dog came to my home as a 1 year old stray Sheltie mix when my older kids were 5 and up. She never had a problem with them or their friends, but when a baby came home when she was 8, she did not like it at all! She would growl and retreat. Once Anna, my daughter was mobile I kept them separated except for some occasional attempts to hold Anna in my lap while petting Sophie. It didn’t really help and Anna learned that touching Sophie was off limits – she had two retrievers to pet. Now, Anna started asking for her own puppy just before she turned 3 and wants to do everything with our current dogs including feeding. So she began as my feeding assistant with the dogs on a sit/stay while she put down their bowls and then were released. Before long (a couple of months?) Sophie would allow Anna to pet her back while I held her collar firmly and stroked her face (so that I had a hand on each side of her head). In the last few months they have become friends. Sophie wags her tail at Anna’s approach and Anna pets her gently (much more so than she does the other dogs). I hadn’t expected this outcome at all and it is a reminder what a powerful tool simply giving a dog a bowl of food is. Still, the rule persists that Anna does not ever pet Sophie without checking with me first so I can make sure that Sophie is relaxed and Anna is appropriate with her.
Emily says
Thanks for the great info. We live literally two houses down from an elementary school, so dealing with kids and my dog has become an inevitable part of life. Mick is quite nervous around kids due to an incident where to little buggers started chasing him. I immediately told them to stop, but the damage was already done, and ever since Mick has been very uncomfortable around anyone under the age of twelve-ish. Except if they come into our house; this is apparently a completely different scenario as far as he’s concerned, and he absolutely adores my piano student, and is generally much less nervous.
I’ve tried to avoid taking him out during peak “kid-times” (going to school, recess, going home from school), and doing lots of click-treating whenever there’s kids around. He’s getting a bit better, but I still don’t let kids approach him unless I know them and know they’ll treat him respectfully. Mick has an elephant’s memory, and I get the sense that this is something he’ll never fully recover from.
PS – I think Taylor is SO cute! She reminds me of my cousin!
Alexandra says
Taylor is indeed adorable!
Thank you for posting on this important subject. I have two Labrador retrievers, one friendly and one nervous and reactive around all things unfamilliar. That dog has come a long way since I’ve owned her, but I would never trust her to play with kids safely. The only interaction she can handle is to accept treats from a calm kid. It took me a long time to accept her for the dog she is and not the happy go lucky lab I wanted her to be, but she taught me a lot and where kids are concerned you just can’t take any risks. I think it’s important to take a conservative approach but also to recognize that some dogs will never be safe around kids. It has taken me years to get Izzy to the point where I feel truly safe allowing her to be off leash around familliar children who can be trusted not grab her or chase her. Being around running, playing kids is out of the question, but at least I know Izzy is happy to go into my room and lie on her bed away from it all rather than trying to attack. I think the key is never to force your dog to have an interaction and respect her wish for peace and quiet. Kids can be really overwhelming for some dogs, and recognizing when your dog says, “but Mom I don’t WANT to say hi to that kid/dog/etc” is so important.
On the kid side, I am grateful for parents who teach their kids the right way to behave around dogs. All children should learn this stuff for their own safety. I will protect even my friendly dog from kids who don’t appear to have enough self control to approach without running and to pet him on the chest and side. He’ll tolerate petting on the head , but I can tell he hates it.
ABandMM says
Taylor is very adorable! Hopefully in time, she and Willie will become friendly “acquaintances” :).
I am fortunate that my hound-mix Abby is very good around kids. I have tried my best to educate kids that we have met while walking (and their adults!) about the proper way to approach a dog: 1) *Always* ask first if you can approach the dog, 2) if yes, approach slowly from the side and 3) hold your hand out for the dog to sniff.
Given the media coverage that dog bites receive, I am dismayed by the number of adults who do not educate themselves and their children about dogs and how to approach and treat them. I have been walking on a public path with my dog on leash and encountered young children swinging a sticks and such and the parents have done nothing. I do take the initiative and move us away from the people, however one time the kid kept walking toward us swinging the stick. I did let the parents know that what their child was doing was very dangerous, and if he sees a dog, he should stop swinging the stick until the dog passes. They didn’t seem to be concerned even when I mentioned that some dogs are afraid of moving sticks, and might attack it, and whoever is holding the stick.
When the kids are petting my dog, I usually ask them if they like it if someone strange runs up to them and hugs them from behind. The answer is always NO!. I then indicate that dogs do not like it either, so that is why they have to ask the human first if they can meet the dog.
Abby is well-behaved and generally not interested too much in people or kids (hey, they don’t smell like rabbits!). However, I can tell when she is focused on a) taking care of her “business” or b) tracking a squirrel or rabbit and as such not very attentive to me. She is always on a leash, so she isn’t running free, but when she is in “hound dog mode” I tell the kids that another time would be better.
Ellen Pepin says
I fully agree that we must be very careful when and if dogs and kids interact. My late dog, Nikki, was one of those dogs who is not comfortable around young children. Actually, she was not comfortable around any stranger. I spent years just getting her to tolerate people near us. I never did trust her around children, so when neighborhood children would ask if they could pet her I told them no because she might bite; She had bitten a jogger. She was always on a leash and I never allowed her to get near to children.
When I was a child, we had a fox terrier mix named Queenie. She was friendly around people, even very young ones. One time, one of my father’s cousins came to visit for several days. Their child, a girl about 6, definitely had not been taught how to interact with dogs. She would slap Queenie and pull her tail. Both my mother and I stopped her. Her parents never did. Queenie put up with this until the second day of the visit. The kid pulled her tail once too often, and she snapped at the girl. Her parents thought that our dog was bad for trying to bite, and they left early. Hooray! Dr. McConnell is absolutely correct. Any dog can bite if provoked.
Mary Beth says
Khris, I teach animal safety classes also, and you’re right, lots and lots of repetition! I teach the kids that they ALWAYS have to ask permission to pet the dog…both from the dog and the owner. They learn that even if they’ve petted the neighbors dog 200 times before and know it well, that they still must ask permission. I body block the kids during an animal safety demo where they get to pet a dog if they don’t start their approach by asking me if they may pet my dog (and the parents and teachers too! they are so bad about coming up to pet the dog without asking!)
What I have a really hard time with is convincing kids that we don’t show dogs love with hugs. You can tell them and show them the proper way to pet a dog, then they go right back to wanting to hug. Does anyone have some jargon or a lecture that works well with kids from 3 years to 2nd grade?
I have had success when i went into preschools, then had the kids again as kindergardners, and then had their siblings and so on, so the lesson gets repeated over and over.
There’s some great material out there from American Humane, HSUS, AKC, Safe Kids Safe Dogs Project and more, but I’m always looking for more.
kate says
I agree 110% percent! B
Being a foster mom on a pretty regular basis I have come up with a simple way to curtail over exuberant children from mugging my dogs and even foster dogs ( fosters never seem to have been exposed to enough different environments, so once they’re in my care, I make it a priority… working to create positive associations at a distance the dog is comfortable with…Patricia’s books:)
No child is allowed to greet any of my dogs until I’ve shown them hand signals for the dog to perform a few tricks in exchange for treats, toys and if they child is calm, and my dog relaxed and wanting to interact with the child.. a pet on the chest.
I have and will body block them from contact if the CHILD lunges 😛 I have had to do that, and had to tell a child recently that I’m sorry that he cant’ greet my dog. One recently threw a temper tantrum, so I asked the parent to come and collect the child (he then ended up coming back and acted appropriately).
I find that it calms the child down as they have to concentrate on learning the hand signals; they get a kick out of being able to make the dog perform a trick or two (even if it’s throwing a ball), it gives me time to check out my dog’s body language and my last and most important reason is that it educates them.
My hope is that they go away knowing that NO HANDS on training…. using treats , toys & being calm around dogs is just as fun or even more fun as petting them.
thank you for the post!
Dena Norton says
Trisha, I think it would be tacky if you DIDN’T point out how cute Taylor is (as if we need it!)
Nicole S. Silvers says
Great article!
Children are sadly over-represented in dog-bite fatalities. Non-fatal dog bites can cause lingering physical and emotional scars in children, not to mention the unfortunate social difficulties physical scars can cause in our appearance-oriented society.
Two cents from “that pit bull lady”:
I am also inclined to use the overdramatized squeal in response to any tooth contact, whether it hurts or not. It works great for, I’d say, 98% of dogs. In using this response with LOTS of dogs, I find it relevant to note:
In certain dogs,–I find it most common among terriers, but not necessarily true of all terriers–a squealing response to mouthing serves to excite and ignite. (Reminiscent, I presume, of characteristics of terriers’ rodent quarry.) For any dog who responds this way, I’m sure you advise
For these dogs, I use a NO or other lower-toned sound followed immediately by leaving, no more sound, no eye contact–ending play for 30-60 seconds, then returning to play to establish that I wasn’t just leaving because it was the end of play time. The interrupted play communicates the consequence, and the sound serves to mark the infraction.
Colleen Pelar says
Taylor is adorable. I love her curls.
This is a wonderful blog entry. I’ll be sending the link to our clients because it’s full of important information and is presented so succinctly. Thanks, Trisha!
Kelly Ladouceur says
You know, it amazes me how many people have no idea about teaching their kids to behave appropriately around dogs. I have four nieces and a nephew, and they are exposed to my three dogs regularly (American Cockers – NOT snappy!). The kids learn to respect the dogs’ space, especially my older dog who has back issues and can be pretty cranky about being hugged or otherwise “loved on” by kids. The kids learn what the dogs aer “saying” via body language or canine “verbal” communication, and they learn what’s okay and what’s not. That being said, with my 4 year old niece who is so rambunctious, it’s a work in progress. She needs frequent reminders about proper dog etiquette, so that she doesn’t overwhelm the dogs.
My dogs are pretty bomb-proof, with the exception of my old dog, and they’ll put up with a lot. But I don’t want them being overly stressed when kids are around, because that could build up and result in a negative outcome. I’d rather have everybody happy and behaving nicely. A foundation like that carries forward for the rest of the child’s life.
Alexandra says
After reading the replies here I wanted to add two comments-
1. I feel better knowing I am not the only one who has inadvertantly made small children cry by body blocking the kid from her dogs!
2. It has been my general experience that most kids under the age of five or so simply do not yet possess enough emotional development to understand the concept of why another person or dog might not like being hugged. Empathy takes time to develop; the child just can’t understand yet how another being would feel. I have found distracting the kids by having them give a sit or down hand signal is much more effective than an explanation. I’ve also noticed that some kids are still developing self control and literally cannot stop themselves from running up or hugging. They kind of spaz out from excitement and don’t register a thing you say… come to think of it, kids are a lot like puppies!
Liz F. says
I got my dog, Helix, at 3.5 months from the humane society, and even at that early age they suggested that he be placed in a home without kids (or a home that has older children). Don’t know many details, but the family Helix was with before coming to me had two boys and both parties just could not get along.
I wonder what happened time to time, as Helix is plain terrified of kids. None in my household, but it took lots of work to get him more comfortable with neighbor’s kids, and even still, there are some things that just set him off. The young neighbor boy I think will grow up to be a paramedic, as for years he has run around their yard doing his loudest, best impersonation of an ambulance “Weee-ooh, weee-ooh.” That, in particular, has provided me with plenty of counter conditioning opportunities from the safety of our second story balcony which overlooks their property. We have not made progress with unfamiliar kids and mostly stick to management now, still try CC if the situation is conducive.
Regardless, I appreciate raising this issue because of situations like some have mentioned above, children waiving sticks as they walk, or unattended children running up to Helix to pet him, or dog owners being less than vigilant and allowing incidents to occur. The more education on this subject the better. Thanks to all: educating kids about dogs, working on the relationships between species, and being active in protecting kids and dogs alike.
tenaj says
I think of Konrad Lorentz here. He said his dog never bit anyone he didn’t want to bite! I find that the true feelings one has are communicated to the dog. And one can be annoyed at their own children and that is communicated also. I often played with my dog in a way that I thought she would be played with by a child. She loved the game of it and so when the real thing happened she had been conditioned to label it differently. Labeling a feeling is almost 100% of the problem. Once I took my niece’s 2 year old son to a swimming pool. He didn’t want to go in the water, so I sat and observed what he did want to do which was to walk up and down the side. Then he approached the steps and started to get his feet wet. I got closer very slowly and he went down the steps slowly. Then he slipped, fell and went under. I saw such a look of wonder on his face underwater. Then I lifted him out smiling and laughing, saying that he was swimming. For a few seconds he didn’t know whether to scream in fear or what, then he saw how I was labeling it and started to laugh. And from that time on no more fear with water and swimming.
Most of my dogs have been swimmers and they all learned differently. I have taught babies and each of them had different learning styles. In Singapore I had to teach the grandmothers from Hong Kong who were being nannies how to swim first before they could let their grandchildren in the pool without clutching them. People with dogs are the same. If they are fearful, the dog is fearful. If they think their dog may bite a child, you can be assured that thought is in the dog’s thoughts. So first the owner has to be relaxed before the dog can be relaxed. I have watched CM with some really neurotic dog owners that make me shudder. Somehow he can divert their anxiety to observing the dog by asking questions, pointing out something for them to observe that helps them forget about it for awhile.
If you have a dog that is afraid of children then tht fer is going to be communicated to you. So both of you will be anxious around children. Me, I really love kids, all kinds unless I see cruelty. That means avoid. I talk to them while holding my dog on a leash. My dog (from a puppy mill) just watches. Sometimes a child will ask to pet her and I say gently. Usually they are just naturally. So everything is OK. But I know if I weren’t there she would run. My other one runs up to them and rolls over for a belly rub making them laugh. And my Dolly (border collie mix) licks their faces. But I know they could have behaved differently with a different owner with different feelings. I can only say that if you are honest with yourself about how you feel about a particular child, then that’s how your dog feels. So play, stay away, avoid, wrestle, throw toys. It all depends.
With the new baby I suspect it was jealousy and anxiety on the mother’s part. The combination is difficult. My fear biting German Shepherd Greta would love to have bitten my little mouse, but she let her walk all over hr and nibble at her ears. But if I had not been right there and been happy and pleased and laughing, who knows?
Liz F. says
@ tenaj:
When CM works with dogs who are afraid/nervous with children, doesn’t he use his own kids? Have seen only a couple episodes, so this may not be the case. Perhaps the owners are put at ease because someone else is taking responsibility for the well being of the kids… no risk of fault or blame on the owners’ behalf if something bad does happen… If this is the case, then it misrepresents the common kid-phobic dog owners plight and may encourage people to take chances they shouldn’t. Just a thought.
I wish my dog would improve more with kids for his sake, and for the sake of any kids he scares with aggressive barking. My other dog is a diplomat and engages everyone, wish all could share that kind of joy.
Jorden says
Dear Trish,
I love this entry. Great tips for keeping both kids and dogs safe! So important for both and so much good stuff happens when those relationships are positive.
Your blog is always so fun to read. Thanks again.
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Johanna says
Thank you!!!! I loved what you wrote! It is specific and informative. I can only imagine the number of parents that this post will support! My dog definitely has issues with my daughter. I am aware of them and do much supervision, management and counter conditioning. Your post enlightened me that I am on the right track. It also reminded me the importance of talking to my friend that allowed my daughter to hug her dog when I was not present. Thanks again! Namaste!
Terri says
Thank you so much !