I’ve heard it said that New Year’s Resolutions are To Do Lists for the first week in January. Yup, we all know the statistics about the unsuccessful nature of New Year’s resolutions. With that in mind, and added to what I’ve learned by reading my private journals for the last 30 years, (lots of gratitude for Jim, dogs, farm, and friends–interspersed with innumerable mentions of losing weight, eating better, teaching the dogs more tricks and working less), here are my 2018 New Year’s Resolutions:
Resolution 1. Running a business, answering 200-300 emails a day, etc, will now be defined as PLAY. Slothing on the couch, walking the dogs, working sheep, cooking and gardening will now be defined as WORK. Thus, my first resolution is to WORK MORE, and PLAY LESS.
Resolution 2. Nails. About mine and the dogs. None of them are ever in the shape that I think they should be. Every time I trim the dog’s nails I will eat chocolate. (See Resolution 3.) Every time I do something about my “farm-enhanced” fingernails I will eat more chocolate. (See Resolution 3.)
Resolution 3. Chocolate. Is a health food. Nothing more needs to be said. And gin is made from the fruit of the juniper tree. Fruit is good. So maybe I should have a martini more than once on Friday nights. Just saying.
Resolution 4. Facts about Weight: Five + pounds over the weight I want has many benefits. a) If I get lost in the woods I’ll have something to tide me over. b) Stores always stock size 10’s. c) It was 14 degrees below zero Farenheit this morning. There is just so much a down jacket can do to insulate a person. d) I have boobs now. Therefore, I resolve to never again resolve that I’ll lose weight. (Note: This is no way relates to Resolution 3.)
Resolution 5: “Dog Tricks” will be defined as rolling over for belly rubs (on cue or not), sleeping in the sun, and rolling in dead animals. I hereby resolve that having dogs who a) are great working sheep dogs (Tootsie is excused from this), b) will stop within one or two strides when asked, even if bursting after a just-flushed deer, c) jump into the bathtub for baths on cue and stay there of their own volition, even when we all know they don’t want to, and d) sit, lie down, heel, back up, leave it, go into crates, pause, jump up, spin, weave, high five, come when called no matter what–is actually good enough. I do not have to teach my dogs every trick possible to be a good dog owner and professional dog trainer.
And, in all seriousness:
Resolution 6. I will love and cherish my dogs as much as my heart can hold. I will thank them every day for what they give me. I will thank them for gagging before they vomit so that I can move them onto the wood floor instead of the bed or carpet (as one blog reader reminded us). I will pretend I don’t care that Maggie thinks frozen poop is the best food known to dog. I will rub their bellies and laugh as they play and tell them every day that I love them to the moon and back even while washing gag-inducing fox poop off of their fur.
And you? I can’t wait to hear your New Year’s Resolutions…
MEANWHILE, back on the farm: I’ve been quiet on social media the last three weeks because Jim’s 94 year old mother (Maisie–best name ever), fell and broke her hip. She has Parkinson’s and the combination created a non-stop three-week tunnel of family emergency, the kind that takes over all else and leaves no time or energy for anything else. She’s been in assisted living, 10 minutes away from the farm, for the last 13 months, but after the fall things degraded so much that she is now in skilled nursing care and hospice will begin, starting tomorrow. Many of you have gone through this and understand when I say that it’s beyond hard. Trying to assuage her confusion, fear, anger and suffering, making good decisions and arranging the best care for her has pretty much taken up every bit of energy we’ve had. The good news is that she is in a good place and she’s accepted into hospice (bless them), and things should stabilize soon.
This morning Jim and I are home together with a free morning, because Jim’s brothers flew in and are giving us a break. How sweet every hour at home is right now.
And cold. As I mentioned earlier, it was 14 below this morning. Last night it was a balmy four below, as we gathered with some friends for a New Year’s Eve bonfire at the home of M and J. Jim and I expected a “big bonfire” but did not expect the towering Twenty Five Foot Teepee of Tinder we were led to after a yummy dinner of butternut squash soup. Here are some photos of the bonfire. We all asked that everything bad about 2017 go up in flames with the wood. (For many of us, that required an extra large fire, right?)
And I did get time to do a little Christmas’y decorating. Here are my Santa’s beside a Christmas cactus that, miracle of miracles, decided to bloom at Christmas.
Michelle says
Ah yes; 2017 brought a long, slow, agonizing, alienating parental crisis here. I love the idea of a bonfire (extra-EXTRA-large!) to banish the bad of last year; too bad I hadn’t heard about it last night. Love your resolutions!
Vicki in Michigan says
Oh, please, may all the bad things of 2017 have gone up in that big fire……………………..
lak says
The past year brought much good and some very very bad. My sister was diagnosed with Bulbar onset ALS. We were devastated to say the least. A deep shock and profound sadness overtook us. Now we are learning to live with the beast. My New Years resolution is to enjoy a part of everyday. While that may take some work, I have been reminded again that life is a gift…and to make the most of everyday. And of course I will play with the dog everyday!!!!! Wishing you and your family the best in 2018.
Cynthia says
Last year was difficult in that I lost both of my precious dogs to old age. Their names are Bruno(bullmastiff) and Hana(rhodesian/pit mix) They lived wonderful long lives(161/2&16) which filled ours with so much love and companionship. At Christmas we adopted a new boy…Major from a local shelter whose family was evicted and forced to surrender him. I thought we were rescuing him…but now realize he’s the one who rescued us. My New year’s resolution is to always be grateful and notice all precious gifts even if its just a simple puppy kiss or cuddle. Wishing all a Happy New Year! !
kathi silveria says
I laughed, i cried. Thank you for being you, could you write another book please, something on life. My week will be so much better because of you.
Trisha says
You are so kind! I’ll hold off thinking about another book until the paperback version of The Education of Will comes out. I’m thinking fiction, what the heck!
Rosemary McDonagh says
I think I’ll borrow your 2018 Resolutions – love them all and you’ve said everything and so much better than I could. Happy New Year to you and yours
Margo Harris says
Fiction! Cool!
I love all your resolutions. Very inspiring!
We have been dealing with on-going astoundingly cold temps here in Ontario. One of my old barn cats just became a house cat, early yesterday morning (about -40 C), after suffering from hypothermia despite food/water/shelter in the barn. She is resting on a heated bed in my office. As we all get older here we don’t handle the cold quite as well! Funny thing, that.
I hope things do improve with Maisie (such a nice name). My mum had Parkinson’s, so I know how hard it is. She had some dementia and I became very good at going with the flow. She would say “can you go upstairs and get my blue sweater?” when in the new house there was no upstairs. I would go find a blue sweater and wait for a bit as though I had gone upstairs, go back to her and she would be happy. It taught me how to accept things and make the best of it all.
Hang in there Patricia!
(and do write fiction…. wonderful!)
S. Jordan says
Happy New Year’s. 2017 saw the death of a beloved d9g, a wonderful neighbor and my dad. Find of 2016 saw death of my sister. I am trying to be more grateful in 2018, but that’s hard because I have committed to spending every other month with my mom. That leaves my new fear reactive rescue dog with my husband who has felt the result of force free training but has not practiced it. I have a good trainer coming over every otber seek while I am gone…. I am grateful for my husband’s willingness to learn….
Giancarla says
This is fantastic! Thank you for continuing the smile on my face that 2018 has already brought a lot of 🙂 what I love about this particular post is the underlying tone of lightheartedness and enjoying the things that really make your heart beat. I’ve never personally taken a lot of stock in NY resolutions as they often come with pressure and extra stress that I don’t need. What is needed is more kindness, more gratitude for ourselves. Let’s resolve to focus on what we can do for ourselves so we can better give to others. Resolve to Fill your own cup so you have more to give. Know that times of challenge or despair deepen our ability to love and feel love. Live life unaftraid and don’t be defined by what other people think. And let’s not forget to Love all dogs. That is our common thread here and I am thankful for each of you for your devotion to an animal that is the embodiment of what I wish for all humans. Unconditionally loving, supremely resilient, amazing listeners, unjudging beings that find simple pleasures in the simple things in life.
Kris Collins says
Thank you – love the resolutions! I make mine on my birthday; it is my own personal New Year and I avoid the hype and temptations to fail. Yours are just good old rules for a happy life. Also will borrow the bonfire idea since we are experiencing a true sub freezing winter moment here in the south!
We have also learned to live through the health crisis moments of aging parents and rescued dogs – all consuming at first like a slow moving car wreck where every moment is a wide eyed breath stealer that makes sweeter the intervals of relief. Living through this is a team sport. We emerged more tender hearted and grateful for the good parts of each day.
You are already way ahead on that path – carry on with much love!
Meg Boscov says
I adore your new year resolutions ❤️ You inspire me to be kind to myself. Screw those ridiculous 5 lbs and guilt about training tricks! Chocolate, here I come!
LunaGrace says
Ah Trish, so sorry you are grappling with the slipping away of a close and beloved family member. Courage. My daughter and I have inadvertently started a tradition of remembering family & friends who no longer share the holidays with us by mentioning something humorous they said or did. So we can think of them with a smile. No better epitaph. I’ll keep you & your family in my prayers.
I like your resolutions! I “resolved” this year to only make daily resolutions. Smaller goals & easier to accomplish.
A Hispanic tradition here in New Mexico is a large community Zozobra, Burning Man. Made of wood and straw, paper messages are tied to him — good wishes, bad things that happened, things you want to let go of — and then set it on fire so all goes up in smoke. Our differences are actually so similar.
Diane Peltin says
I’m so glad to hear that you have Hospice services for Jim’s mother. Tom and I thought of hospice staff as angels of mercy. They not only help the patient, but support the family and the facility staff. I again found them to be a tremendous help when Tom’s mother who had dementia and was nearing the end while living in a skilled-care facility. All your “therapy” dogs I am sure are and will continue to help you and Jim through the days ahead. You, Jim, and the family are in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs to all and woof-woof from Angel.
Love the resolutions. Stay warm.
Kelli says
Love, love your insights and resolutions! I’m so looking forward to meeting you in Baraboo in a few short weeks! I have my hard copy of “The Education of Will” read and ready for your autograph. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and life.
Rosemary Teetor says
Trisha,
My mother passed quietly, while in hospice care in late 1999. One of the things the hospice folks impressed upon me was the need for self=care to avoid burn-out. You called the last several weeks a “tunnel”. That is SO accurate! You feel as though you’ll never feel happy and care-free again. You will.During that time, I took up playing the flute, so I could play tunes Mom would enjoy, and I took up Scottish Country Dancing. I so enjoyed feeling “off duty” for the 90 minutes I had every week to dance. I believe the dancing saved my sanity.
Taking care of Mom at the end compelled me to practice patience and kindness in ways I’d not done up to that point. I am so grateful for the time we had. We said all the things we needed to say. When she passed, I felt her great relief at no longer being tied to a failing body.
Make time for makes you feel really alive each day.
All the best to you and Jim. This is a difficult and rewarding rode you are on.
May all of the blessing s hidden in the challenges by yours.
Rosemary Teetor
Gresham OR
Teri Elmore says
I am no longer a resolution maker but enjoyed yours; found humor in your “farm-enhanced” nails since I’m an avid gardener. I LOVED resolution #6. My husband and I just spent our first Christmas in 33 years “dogless” and it was sad. The flip side though, was that here in NE Iowa, our temperatures were much like yours and I was grateful I didn’t HAVE to go for a walk (but that, combined with Christmas carbs, I’ve managed to put on 7 extra pounds). I wholeheartedly agree with the YUGE bonfire to burn up the bad things of 2018. I wished it would work! In addition to the obvious bad things of 2017, we lost our long-time companion dog to old age in late July. We got him as a rescue dog and surmised that he was part Golden, part Border Collie. I’ve had dogs all my life (mostly GSDs and Goldens) but my rescue dog was the smartest and sweetest dog I’ve ever known. He was my best friend and my husband often commented that he wished HE was a dog so he’d get some attention. We didn’t wait long to get another rescue dog (a 3-5 year-old Shiloh Shepherd) but after a couple months he decided to start biting people so reluctantly we returned him to the shelter. I was heartsick, having never done that before in my life….guilt, remorse, second-guessing. I viewed it as a double-dog-grief (or an exacerbation of the first). He seemed to be doing well at the foster home but after about a month he seriously bit both the foster mom and a small dog. So they made the ultimate decision. He was a gorgeous and very intelligent dog but it was apparent he didn’t have the proper training early on 🙁 It just makes me so sad and unfortunately I didn’t have a bonfire as I have drug these negative and sad emotions into the new year. I take solace searching for a Golden Retriever puppy on the internet, preferably to be whelped late winter/early Spring. I get my Border Collie fix by following your blog and reading your books (I loved Education of Will!) – I adore Border Collies but I would not be able to “employ” them and they’d be bored. Thanks for “being there”….I feel like we are kindred spirits!
Sherry in MT says
I love this post to the moon and back. I hope all your resolutions for 2018 come true!
Mireille says
Lovely post!
And Trisha, you are so right. Chocolat is made from beans, beans are vegetables. Therefor chocolat is a Health food!
My new years resolutions? I would like to ‘go with the flow’ feel more, act on that and think less. Be more who I am instead of who I think I should be. My mosaic hobby is a tremendous help, so I want to develop that.
On the practical side; to tidy up the kitchen before I go,to bed. I’m a bit of a ‘sloddervos’ (which is Dutch for messy fox, are foxes messy?). I think in english the word is a slob. I do not mind a bit of chaos but I hate it when I come down in the morning to the smell of stale food….
Have a great new year! Love the bonfire, we have had nothing but rain and storm and balmy temperature (14C on new years eve…bizarre, 8hrs of sun in the whole month of december). The Huskies ask if we can have some of your winter! Whe have developed the sport of mud skiing and mudscootering but snow is better, they claim…
Diana E D'Agati says
I really like that idea of all bad things go by way of the bonfire. They say fire is cleansing and what better night than New Year’s Eve! Happy New Year to you. I look forward to your 2018 blogs!!
Kat says
First, let me say I know first hand the roller coaster of aging family. Last year we had my mother in hospice care on one side of the state and my mother-in-law fighting stage IV liver cancer on the other. And in a weird twist my mother improved to the point she was removed from hospice and my mother-in-law passed away. My mother also has Parkinson and Lewy Body Dementia. She’s still one of the wisest people I know. On the really bad days I cling to the statement she made when hospice first got involved. “Rainbows and Raindrops Will Find You Wherever You Are.” I also love her advice offered recently out of the blue “Every day just do the best you can and hope for the good things.” Most of the time she doesn’t make a lick of sense but every so often …
Second, if you write it I will read it. I love the way you put words together.
This year I made only one resolution. I resolved every day to try a different tea from my distressingly large collection. It means actually stopping each day to do something for myself. I needed that reminder.
Joy says
I’m so glad Jim’s mother is in hospice, the best, kindest and most supportive option I know. Both my parents had hospice care for a few weeks before they died. Today is the anniversary of my mother’s death, and that of my father is only a week away, and I can relate to the stress and upheaval you’ve been going through. My thoughts are with you and all your family.
Your resolutions are the best! And, as a plant biologist I confirm what you and other readers state, that chocolate is made from a “bean”, part of a fruit, and is thus exceptionally healthful!
Jenny H says
Patience. More, more patience. Be kinder to self, and keep my honest thoughts to myself 🙁 (Lest, apparently, I offend everyone 🙁 But I can be honest with you, Patricia – I loved meeting you years ago when you were in Australia and I enjoy your blog.