The Comfort of Dogs
We need a little extra comfort, sometimes, don’t we? I find myself in that situation now, and am especially grateful not just for Jim, but also for Maggie and Skip. They are both super cuddly dogs, and moment by moment, I take comfort from the touch of their fur, the rhythm of their beating hearts. There are times I can’t imagine coping without them, and feel strongly that they are an important part of my mental and physical health. I know many of you feel the same.
And yet, Dr. Hal Herzog, one of our country’s experts on human-animal relationships, has written extensively about the “pet paradox,” the fact that most research suggests that pet are not truly “good for us.” His most recent article in Psychology Today, “The Puzzling Relationship Between Pet and Child Development” begins with this:
According to a 2021 survey by the Human-Animal Bond Research Institute, 87% of pet owners have experienced improvements in their mental health due to having a companion animal. I have certainly felt that way about the impact of pets on my life.
Unfortunately, however, most high-quality studies have found that, after socioeconomic and demographic factors are taken into account, pet owners are not less depressed, less lonely, happier, or healthier than people without pets. This mismatch between our personal experience with the benefits of pet ownership and “the science” is called “the pet effect paradox.” It is, arguably, the biggest mystery in anthrozoology—the study of human-animal relationships. Two large studies now suggest this pet effect paradox also applies to the positive influence of pets on child development. (Hal Herzog, Psychology Today 11/12/24)
In a Facebook post, Hal (full disclosure, a friend and colleague), admitted to finding these results as confusing as I do. How could the studies not reflect our felt experience? If it was just one study it would be easy to dismiss, but many studies, with large sample sizes, have come up with the same conclusion.
Here’s my speculation about these results, very much influenced by my years as a companion animal behavior consultant: Think of it this way–there are “pet owners” and there are “pet owners.” There are those of us who love animals, or just dogs, or just cats. And when I say love, I mean LOVE. I’m easily in that category. I never wanted dolls as a little girl, but I had 52 stuffed animals. (I counted them every day.) I worshiped horses, drew pictures of them on everything, followed our dog around, lay in the dirt for hours and watched ants carry seeds into their nests. Currently, I adore our dogs, love them deeply, and have wrapped much of my life around them.
As an applied behaviorist, I saw people who cared enough about their dogs and cats to expend the time, energy and money on consultations. But of course, those people mostly came because their pet was causing problems in their lives, many of them serious. I can guarantee you that there are many dog lovers out there who, for whatever reasons, are not only not being comforted by their dogs, but are suffering no small amount of stress and anxiety because of them.
I think equally relevant, is the group of dog/cat owners who have a pet who does not have a serious behavioral problem, but is not integral to their lives. They, say, get married, buy a house, have kids, get a dog. My own Jim was one of those people before he met me–he and his ex-wife had two kids, two dogs, and both also worked full time (shift work to boot, each home or gone at different times). The kids wanted dogs, swore they’d take care of them, but, of course, were kids. Overall, the dogs made their lives harder, not better.
And then, he met me, long after his kids were grown. Jim is the guy who went out and read all my books when we were first dating, because he wanted to keep seeing me. It didn’t take long for Jim to fall in love with our dogs, and now cares about them as much as I do.
So, here’s my guess: When pet owners are asked if their animals provide comfort, they might answer as they are expected to answer. After all, as Hal’s article reminds us, we are told constantly that “pets are good for us.” But lumping all “pet owners” together is problematic. (Not to mention not separating out dogs versus cats versus goldfish.) I’d love to see studies by sociologists that look at companion animal owners in more detail, rather than lumping us all together, because I think there is important information there. My belief, and that’s all it is, is that companion animals provide tremendous comfort and health benefits to some pet owners, but it would be good to know who, and why.
I’d love to hear what you think! Jump in!
FYI, Dogs in Shelters Need Comfort Too: I should add, before switching topics, that I’m having a BIG SALE on Giving Tuesday to encourage people to buy Love Has No Age Limit in bulk and donate it to shelters. I got my own comfort when I went out to shoot some videos for the sale and met Tag, a Great Pyrenees recently arrived at the Dane County Humane Society. He is the sweetest fluff-ball of love imaginable, and spending time with him, and the great people at the shelter, was a highlight of my week. (Just ask me how hard it was not to bring him home.)
If you can see it in your heart, jump onto my website on Giving Tuesday and buy a bunch of copies to donate to your favorite shelter or rescue. Some shelters have told me that their returns and behavior calls decreased significantly when they gave the booklet out with adopted dogs. (Way to Go and Fastidious Feline are always on sale to give to shelters/rescues too!)
MEANWHILE, back on the farm: I’d love to suggest it’s all sweetness and light out here, but we all know that’s not how life works. It’s raining ticks out here, no doubt the result of almost no winter last year, an excessively wet spring, and torrential rains in early fall. In spite of all possible preventions (except “avoid going outside”–that isn’t exactly helpful for those of us in the country with sheep and dogs.), both Jim and I have extracted several embedded ticks and Jim ended up with Lyme disease. Full on. Couldn’t stay awake, fever and chills so bad I found him one night in a puddle of sweat, body aches, no interest in food. Luckily, the doc at urgent care was one of the good ones, who put him on Doxycycline right away. (My former primary wouldn’t prescribe Doxy when I had a bulls-eye around the bite. This is why he is my former doctor.)
Jim is much, much better, WHEW, but still tires easily. But we’re doing okay; we have each other, and we have our dogs, who bring us joy and comfort every hour of every day. Here’s Maggie and Skip on our wood’s walk this morning. Watching dogs play has got to be one of my favorite things.
More good things include the new hay feeders that Jim found on line and put together. The wooden ones he built a gazillion years ago were starting to fall apart, and these are perfect replacements.
Another good thing is that the county finally got around to repairing a cave-in we had that threatened to take down an important fence that keeps the sheep out of the road. I tried hard to convince them to let me play with the Excavator, but, shockingly, they wouldn’t let me, in spite of offering bribes (aka pie).
And here’s to make us laugh: I pulled out my spice drawer and reached into the back to get out some sesame seeds. Here’s what I found:
It’s mouse-in-the-house season in the country! Our enterprising friends found their way into the drawer (no other signs of mice–yet–on the counter) and ate up all the sesame seeds. I am happy to have provided a good meal. Regrettably, I mice are not good house guests, so they will have to go. But I am taking this as a reminder that a good life is all about intention and stamina. May you too find something you truly want, that you have the ability to chew through too!
44 Comments
SUBSCRIBE VIA EMAIL
About the Author
Patricia B. McConnell, PhD, CAAB Emeritus is an applied animal behaviorist who has been working with, studying, and writing about dogs for over twenty-five years. She encourages your participation, believing that your voice adds greatly to its value. She enjoys reading every comment, and adds her own responses when she can.
LEARN MORE FROM PATRICIA’S BOOKS & DVDs!
Patricia is known the world over for her clear and engaging books and DVDs on dog training and canine behavior problems. You can also “meet” Patricia in person on her seminar DVDs, from The Art & Science of Canine Behavior to Treating Dog-Dog Reactivity.
Can there be love without anxiety and too often grief as well? My animals – two dogs and a cat at the moment – are at the core of my life. I live alone with them and although I have much loved family and friends it is the animals that are with me hour by hour, day in day out. They set the routine for every day with meals and walks and play, they make me smile and laugh, cuddle up and give me an oxytocin burst when I most need it, sleep pressed against me at night and wake me reasonably gently in the mornings. But yes, there is also anxiety. I nursed Poppy, my toy poodle, through chronic liver failure for three and a half years until it came time to let her go, and it was not easy. Pippin and Tilly, my cats, lived to 18 and 20, but their last months were filled with worry as their health declined rapidly. Sophy my older papillon is now 16 and I know the blow must fall sooner rather than later. I am extremely fortunate – I have sufficient insurance and savings not to need to worry unduly about vet bills, or the cost of feeding them, or keeping a roof over our heads, all fears which must sometimes overwhelm other pet owners.
I think love makes easier what duty alone would find too hard, and makes the sacrifices so often needed easier too, instead of a source of resentment. But perhaps love is very difficult to measure in the context of scientific research!
Frances, like other readers, I found your line “I think love makes easier what duty alone would find too hard, and makes the sacrifices so often needed easier too, instead of a source of resentment.” absolutely perfect. I remember Jack Knox saying “Pick the puppy that makes you happy to look at because that’ll help when he’s driving you crazy.” Truer words…..
You’re interpretation of the study results rings very true for me. I would be curious to know why the researchers in the studies that were reviewed didn’t separate the types of pets. As someone with an admittedly limited background in scientific research, that seems like a critical variable to me.
I also want to say that I love Frances’ beautiful thoughts that “…love makes easier what duty alone would find too hard, and makes the sacrifices so often needed easier too….” and especially, “But perhaps love is very difficult to measure in the context of scientific research!”
My husband and I love our 4 border collies, our Jack Russell Terrier, our chihuahua (rescued) and the 2 Great Pyrenees who guard the one remaining sheep. They bring us love, amusement and comfort everyday. But . . . Not without angst. One of the BCs is nearly 14 years old and has arthritis and dementia-how can I keep her comfortable and calm in her final days? The chihuahua came to us after having suffered some unknown trauma. It has been suggested that she was used as a “bait” dog based on the scarring on her body. Understandably, she has fear aggression towards people. How do I help her feel safe? Happily, the good that flows from our dogs outweighs the bad. I can’t imagine life without dogs . . .
It’s kind of a relief because I’m sometimes pining for the “my dog saved my mental health” story I hear from others. My dog brings me stress as much as comfort! It can be difficult to have a dog, but I find it worth it. To me, it’s a very fulfilling and rewarding hobby, but non-dog-owners probably have other fulfilling and rewarding hobbies!
I too love Francis thought “I think love makes easier what duty alone would find too hard, and makes the sacrifices so often needed easier too, instead of a source of resentment.” I love my dog, she is my family. I have many friends, acquaintances and human family, but the dog and me, well we are a pair. She is a rescue and too big for me, so much training is required. She delights me every day! Yes, she is delightful! And who doesn’t want to be delighted?
I so agree with your take on “pet owners”. I have always loved animals. When I was young and went to my relatives, who did I interact with, the pets. They calmed me and made me feel like I belonged.
Now working with dogs and their owners, some have them because they think they should. Others love them and feel they are part of their family.
Thank you for the article.
I cannot imagine a life without one or two (or more!) dogs. They keep me not only sane, but moving, and add routine to my days. I live alone in an eight room house. It would be unbearable without my three dogs. That said, only one of the dogs is ‘cuddly’. My giant Brody, who I lost this past May, was the truly affectionate one. His 150 lb. self often tried to be on my lap, settling for resting his head there. I think Frances said it best… there is love, but also anxiety in owning dogs. Losing them is devastating, but they are SO worth it while they are here sharing our lives.
Recently a friend told me that my life with dogs differs from some other people. Like you wrote, I too spent my childhood loving animals . Countless hours poring over the dog section of our encyclopedia. (back when Borzois were Russian Wolfhounds)
Is it that my expectations were different? I see my dogs as equal partners in many ways. We share our lives, each with the other. I do insist on having the final say. They are okay with that.
Like all families there are times of stress and unhappiness. Our recent rescue from Puerto Rico has started to calm his fears. So many yucky things happened to him. It has been a year, it will probably be some more years. Maybe he will never fully recover, but, he knows he is safe. Sometimes it has been hard for me to keep my temper with him.
I think some folks own dogs and some folks have dogs. (Or cats, or birds …..)
I do want to chime in on ticks!!!! Holy moley. I hate looking at a beautiful grassy meadow and thinking…..”I ain’t walking through there!” I have pulled so many off of me this fall. I am jealous of the dogs and their tick protection.
I know people who are (confoundingly, to me!) invested in and attached to their pet reptiles, arthropods, and rodents, so I wonder if sorting responses by kind of pet would be less useful than sorting by some self-reported ranking of how important our pets are to us. I’m also reminded of the studies that find that parents and non-parents are about equally happy and unhappy with their lives (when studies control for income, health, etc.). Like LeeAnne says, having pets can be “very fulfilling and rewarding,” but mine certainly bring complications as well as joys!
Interesting! Reading this in bed, with two snuggly Aussies curled in tight, it’s hard to imagine pets not making people happier. I wonder if it’s a thing that has been measured over time, and whether it has changed. In particular, I wonder whether the societal emphasis on rescuing dogs as not only noble, but also the only ethical way to get a dog, has turned dog ownership into something that feels more like a huge responsibility rather than a pleasure.
My first memory of DOG happened sometime between the age of 3 and 4. Our neighbor had a rough collie and I fell totally head over heels in love. He was soft and fuzzy and listened quite carefully and graciously to my woes.
Dad came from the no pets inside philosophy. We eventually, with lots of begging, adopted a rough collie. I actually did take care of him. He was my responsibility and I wanted to.
I was a bit of an odd child and seldom had friends. I don’t know what I would have done without all my doggie friends growing up. I befriended a wild dog pack, the “viscous” german shepherd and every neighbor’s dogs. They went hiking with me in the woods behind our house. Sat with me. Ran wild in the wind with me.
I do not ever want to have to live without a dog.
I think you are spot on in your interpretation of these studies. I am surrounded by dedicated “dog peeps” and am one myself. Dogs are everything. However, I am a former dog walker and pet sitter and have numerous family and friends that fall more into what I consider the “pet people” category, so I see the other side.
I personally cannot imagine my life without fur, dirt, and border collie stares.
I am sorry about the nasty tick situation. Ugh. Those things are NASTY!
Having been the upright member of a pet therapy team visiting hospital patients and staff for nearly 10 years, I found this conundrum puzzling. I note your statement “companion animals provide tremendous comfort and health benefits to some pet owners, but it would be good to know who, and why.” Especially the who and why aspect of your observation. I think that study may be slightly flawed in the questions it’s trying to answer, or perhaps a better description might be it’s incomplete rather than flawed. When a study asks better questions, it obtains better, more complete conclusions. 😉
From the time I was a young, I have found joy in my relationship with animals, wanting to explore who they are as individuals, and developing deep bonds with them. I have always had a problem with the word “ownership” as they have been so integral to my life. With some exceptions, I have been the one who sought them out; but from then on, who owns whom has been a real question!
For years, we had working Bording Collies on our farm who were full-fledged partners in caring for our sheep. As you will understand, it is difficult to find words to describe the joy in watching that bright mind as we worked together; we became one being with a common goal. And in the evenings, we cuddled together on the sofa.
I believe that you are correct that there is more than one type of relationship with animals. There may be a spectrum, but those who are willing to establish a deep bond find comfort in it And further, animals (particularly dogs) do read us better than we read them. We love them as family; they know when we need them most, and give without reservation.
I can’t imagine ever wanting to be without a dog or a pet of some kind. But yes, they can be stressful. My last 2 puppies have both had serious behavior problems requiring medication, years long treatment by a Vet Behaviorist, much training (I’m a very experienced and KPA certified trainer) and that’s been coupled with my own health issues. Would it have been easier with dogs who were much easier to own? Yes. Would I trade either of them for others? No. The struggles and hard times just increase the bond I feel with them.
Poetic post by Frances… just beautiful.
Laura makes a good point too. And I agree completely with Trisha’s analysis. Though I can’t remember ever disagreeing with anything she’s said, including how fun it would be to play with a backhoe.
So glad Jim is feeling better!
Like probably most of the readers here I felt always more connected to animals than humans lol. I was very shy, introverted child, easily overwhelmed by any new situation. Despite my parents hope that I would grow out of this, I never have. I always wear heart on my sleeve and whilst some people think it’s a disadvantage and weakness, I felt that all animals, but especially dogs, do not really care. When I met my husband, who was is a quadriplegic, one of my conditions for moving to USA from UK was having my own dog. So that the ripe age of 42 we rescued standard poodle Sam and I have never looked back. Now 7 years later, we have 7 year old standard poodle Monty, 11 pounds poodle mix Tilly and our recent euthanasia list dog 24 pound poodle mix Ollie. We also acquired 2 year cat Birdie and 6 months old FIV kitten Stewart. Whilst to some people my household sounds crazy, I find it relaxing. None of my animals are perfect, and neither am I or my husband, but the sheer joy and happiness they bring me, makes me better person. I couldn’t do my life without them. Life can be hard, but Try to have a bad day, when your two year old Tilly does a happy poop dance (she’s a helicopter pooper, who finds it hard to fit all her poops on a pee pad, no matter how large, so when she sees she didn’t miss she does the happiest wiggly butt dance when she comes to tell you), try to feel depressed when your ‘do not touch me or I will flinch’ puts his head into your lap to ask for a pet or massage and try to feel bad when the dog who you saved with minutes to spare from euthanasia turns out to be the friendliest funniest dog, who just went to pieces in shelter, but is flourishing in your household. Without my furry crew I’d find my life too stressful, but with them, bad days are far and in between. And even when they drive me crazy, I imagine my life without them and suddenly I’m feeling grateful for having them in my life.
What Frances said. Yes.
Love is complicated and joy is not constant – in any situation so yes very hard to measure in scientific studies. Mental health is hard to pin down. Some food for thought when evaluating the studies “conclusions”- parents are often judged to be the least happy cohort – at least while the children are young and also very happy when the children are older; single, never married, never parent women are found to be objectively healthier and generally happier cohort (no one asked about pets in that study) The choices, sacrifices, and commitments made to care for the ones we love – human and otherwise can create distress and anxiety. So the timing of the study in the whole life of the pet relationship seems important. Also, there is the underlying NOT asked questions – the useful comparison might NOT be are pet owners better off in mental health and happiness than NON-pet parents … but are they better off as pet parents than they would be otherwise? There is a self-selection element to who has pets!
The human- animal bond really is fascinating! My dog is mentioned in my medical records now – just days after she was hospitalized for emergency spinal surgery (at 15.5 years with one kidney, so extra concern), I had a cardiologist appointment- next door to the Veterinary hospital where she was. When I arrived, my chronically low bp was excessively high, and I had to quickly explain the situation to avoid a whole situation. To me the stress is more than worth it, I always have been and always will be an animal person. Living and working with animals is what gives me joy and keeps me sane. But I also have friends who aren’t animal people – they might be plant people, car people, or movie people etc. They still have that thing that gives to them what animals like dogs give us, with likely the variety of success we have. Say the majority of folks who currently choose to have pets suddenly didn’t/ couldn’t, results would likely then skew lower than other folks (so for them, having pets does improve happiness and wellbeing). I think it’s totally reasonable that numbers are similar, if it’s looked at more as how engaged are you to the thing that makes you sane, if that makes sense? For me that will always be animals, and especially my girl (who is now thankfully walking and hiking again, steadily and joyful creeping up on 16).
I describe my relationship with Olive as she was my right brain. Center of creativity, emotional response, and movement. She literally was such an integral part of my life that when she passed, my brain [and heart] hurt. For weeks. Sometimes it still gives a pang, a longing.
Was there anxiety, worry, even occasionally despair—of course. I worried that I wasn’t up to the task and certainly not up to the level of determination and resiliency she had. But I never doubted that our relationship was reciprocal and enriched us both immensely. I suppose one could describe all these emotions as a negative but the alternative of never knowing her would be a deficit beyond description.
Not sure how this would all translate to a survey question. Maybe the pet paradox needs a paradigm shift.
Hope Jim is feeling better, Lyme is a beast.
Maybe it would be helpful to know how mental health was measured ? Certainly somehow self-reported but even then the it may depend on the actual questions being asked. As an owner of four bcs I don’t have the trace of a doubt that my dogs have a significant influence on my mental health – and it does go in both directions . However, the overall effect it has on my personal development is positive , no matter how stressful some situations have been. Maybe this is a thing that is even harder to assess -let alone quantify- in a questionnaire about mental health.
BIG fan of Hal Herzog (I recommend Some We Love…. to many clients and friends). Yes agree there are owners and then there are owners and I think that we have to factor in a general inability to consider the companion animals’ experience of the relationship and a general lack of understanding in owners.
I’m sure that we have all been told how a much a dog “loves” something, be that hugs, a stressful daycare, being forced to run etc by owners oblivious to the evidence to the contrary.
I think perhaps that the pendulum is swinging back from the “animals are inherently good for people, magically therapeutic just because they are present etc” to considering how the animals may experience interactions and, indeed, that people may not enjoy animals either at all or in all circumstances.
Hopefully, research will become more nuanced.
In the meantime, hope that Jim is feeling better and glad that it was caught and treated early.
Such a thought-provoking topic! I was born wanting pets. We didn’t have them in my family, and no one wanted them until I came along. Like you I didn’t play with dolls but with horses instead. My husband accepted my passion, and we’ve had multiple dogs, cats and horses for 40+ years. Even my jobs and volunteer work have all revolved around animals. Now, nearing 70, we’re down to 1 each; dog, cat and horse and I don’t have a perfect relationship with all of them. The horse we took in when she retired from a therapeutic riding program. She isn’t a people lover and prefers to be left alone. We take care of all of her needs and respect her space bubble. The cat is 12 years old, and we’ve had her since she was rescued from a Louisianna shelter during a hurricane when she was a kitten. Again, similar to the mare, she doesn’t want much physical affection, so we take care of her needs and pet her when she requests. The dog, on the other hand, has me wrapped around his little paw! Griffin, a Swedish Vallhund, is 2 1/2 years old and I really thought I was too old for a puppy but took the plunge. I show him in conformation which I’ve never done before, traveling to shows around the Midwest and making new friends. In a few weeks we’re traveling to Florida for a really big show; something I never imagined I would be doing. He has honestly given me a new lease on life and I’m enjoying every new experience that comes our way! So, for me, we can’t generalize even down to the species, because I’ve had a different relationship with every dog, cat or horse that has shared my life. **We live in the woods of northeast Illinois and the ticks were horrendous through all of October. They’ve calmed down a bit now.
I’m a dog person. I’ve had dogs my whole life, with the exception of the period around college since my life was too unsettled. I’ve trained my dogs and competed and titled in a variety of venues, starting with obedience back when it was pretty much the only option. I’ve been on both sides of the dogs bring comfort/dogs bring anxiety and heartache fence. My current dog is a young adult standard poodle, and the love of my life. He’s everything I wanted in a dog. Before him, I had Welsh Springer Spaniels, all of whom had some kind of issue, with the most recent one being a complete mess. Have you ever been rejected by your dog? It’s heartbreaking. Mellie would walk way out around me when passing by, or would get off the couch if I sat down, and no, I didn’t try to sit right next to her. Luckily, she got over it in time, but she also had severe anxiety, separation anxiety, spent a lot of time screaming from over-arousal, and peed whenever she got too excited – which was often. She also had times when she would scream bloody murder, starting as a moderately young puppy. The first time it happened she woke up screaming from a nap. The screaming would happen once a month or so, and each time I’d check her over to see where she was hurt, but could never find anything. A new vet suggested getting an MRI to see what was going on. After several neurologists and lots of money we finally got an MRI, which showed lumbo-sacral impingement. My poor dog was in extreme pain. My Mellie dog ended up with a whole team of vets – her regular vet, a vet behaviorist, a rehab vet – and was on a whole cocktail of medications. About a year after the MRI we finally admitted that she had a poor quality of life, and gave her permanent peace, at less than 3 years old. That dog brought me a lot of tears, frustration, and heartache, and I’m ever so grateful to have my happy, playful, bouncy boy now who brings me (almost) nothing but joy.
My life is richer because of my sensitive, herding breed, rescue dog and there is so much about relationships, and anxiety that I have learned because of her. She causes me acute “problems” I wouldn’t have had otherwise but the life lessons she has taught me are priceless.
This article and the discussion resonate with me in a couple of ways. I have been a greyhound owner for 20+ years and when facing the loss of my previous greyhound (December 2021) the thought of living life without a greyhound was paralyzing. This was the first loss I had when I didn’t have a couple of other greyhounds in the household to be there for comfort. All this to say, as soon as we got back from an international trip, I brought home the next greyhound. The transition to getting to know him and his adjustment period to being a pet was challenging. I’ve had him almost 3 years and in many ways he bring me comfort. And in others his personality is very different from ALL the other greyhounds I have shared my life with and he isn’t always a comfort in the ways that my past greyhounds have been.
I appreciated the discussion about pet owners with dogs with behavioral challenges because that has been my experience over the last couple of years adjusting to life with “new” pets.
I too am slightly confused about the populations studied/sampled in these studies.. How were they selected, for starters? Was consideration given to mental health ststus, economic status, age, location of home(country or city)?
Finally, does any love come stress-free? Frances probably answered that best. For me, as I go through what may be the most harrowing time of my rather long life (husband suffered severe stroke last summer, will probably have to spend the rest of his life in skilled nursing facility), my dogs are absolutely my lifesavers. I come home from the nursing home, and tge sight of the four of them gathered at the door, tails wagging furiously, each making their own personal greeting noise – well, it just makes my heart explode. And this after being left at home all day, with only a small back yard- not their usual lifestyle at all.
And I still would like to know how these pet owners were picked.
This is very true, I think there is definitely a spectrum when it comes to how people feel about their pets. I know people who seem to see their pets almost like furry house plants, where the pet is kind of just… there, they don’t seem very attached to them, and they certainly aren’t making plans with the pet in mind. I also know people all the way on the other end of that spectrum – like me – whose whole lives and schedules pretty much revolve around their pets and who are deeply attached. As for me, I am pretty certain that my health and health and well-being are improved by having a dog, because I am pretty certain I would not be alive if it weren’t for her. And I don’t think anyone would argue that, in terms of well-being, alive is significantly better than not 🙃
I too grew up more comfortable with animals than with humans and being around them gives me joy, but not always comfort. Dogs have their own needs which can require anxiety and frustration for their humans. The divide between a real dog and the popular culture portrayal of a dog which is a well-behaved dog, heroic, best-friend, and always provides comfort is huge and can come a quite the surprise to first-time dog owner. If a dog goes into a home where the humans do not understand the species and the required training and costs, little comfort is provided. Especially, if the adopter chooses a large, athletic breed. Having worked in a shelter for 3 years, there were dogs (mostly older bullies) who lowered my heart rate and calmed my nerves just by being in their presence. I loved my 90lb lap dogs! There were also dogs that were fun, responsive, and quickly bonded with humans, and when placed correctly, had long and happy lives with their humans. There were plenty others whose own needs were too great, either because of their past or just due to the breed, to be anything but a project for their adopters. The number of surrenders, with shelters over-flowing, indicate that many find the reality of owning a dog anything but a comfort. It breaks my heart for both species.
Of course it is complicated. I love my dogs. But the severe epileptic ended his life in a crisis, after we’d witnessed over 100 seizures, most of which happened in the middle of the night. The next dog was a bully magnet, and we were repeatedly, unexpectedly the brunt of unprovoked attacks. One attack led to severe injuries to my dog, and all of them were horrible emotionally for both of us. I have loved them all, but some have been significant sources of financial, emotional, and physical stress.
I have never known life without an animal companion. My baby carriage and playpen were diligently monitored by a very large Belgian Shepherd! Since that time, my life has never been void of animal best friends-dogs, cats, rabbits, ferrets, mice, horses … but dogs, my wonderful and wacky dogs, have truly made me a better person. I will never know the kind of person I would have been without their companionship but my heart is truly filled with their steadfastness and love. How can science begin to measure the kind of persons we would have been without our beloved animal family?
Fur absorbs tears better than tissues.
Two and a half years ago we left Madison after moving there temporarily over two years earlier than that to be with our daughter who had stage 4 breast cancer. We had moved there with two border collies and a cat. The dogs brought us comfort and joy; the cat less so (he peed on the carpet in our first rented place and cost us a lot of money. We moved to a place with wooden floors and he never peed on the floor again.) My dog also caused some issues with her shark behavior around sheep. I didn’t have energy to deal successfully with her. Fortunately her breeder who lives not so far away took her home and got the shark piece out of her. Would things have been easier without them around? Maybe but they also provided the motivation to walk every day and to fall in love with the area and its beautiful parks. We needed that very badly as our daughter got sicker and sicker. As for the dogs, two was the fewest number of dogs we had in a long time and we congratulated ourselves on how smooth walking two dogs who got along beautifully was.
Fast forward to being in deep grief and back home in Colorado. A friend was looking for a bc puppy and I found a litter not too far away. I assured everyone I knew that I was just driving her up there to keep my friend company. When we got there, we saw a lovely litter of very well socialized pups. They went back to some dogs that I knew and liked very much. My friend chose one and we drove back south. Great ending, right? Well, my friend had chosen a different pup than the one I would have chosen. I couldn’t get that puppy out of my mind. The next morning I told Bob that. He said, “I’ll pay for it.” Of course we would both be paying for this purchase after 52 years of marriage. We came back with a little black and white bundle whom we named Scout. Did he create more work for us and more difficulty going places together? Yup. Is he worth it? Yup. Is he a pleasure to work with? We’ll see in the long run but so far he’s still an adolescent in his behavior but ready to begin working and we’ve had some good sessions so far. Does he bring me joy? Yes, he does especially when he waits for me to go to bed, jumps up to be petted and then voluntarily goes to his crate to sleep through the night.
Long story but different situations and different needs bring us different results. Had I gotten Scout while we were in Madison he wouldn’t have brought me the kind of joy he brings me here in Colorado when my time and energy and space are available for him. Knowing when the time is right and what your needs are and the animal’s needs are makes a huge difference. Animals can bring us comfort and joy and better health but they can also bring us difficulties and sorrow and make our lives harder. It’s not an either or situation.
I can’t be without dogs. I’ve had many other pets and hope to have them again at some point, these have also brought me happiness. I don’t want to detract from any species, and the joy they can all bring. It struck me after reading the study summary, that it seemed very unrealistic. Can anyone say this about ANY relationship? I agree that distinctions should be made between pet owners who love their pets and people who happen to own pets. I think the thing that should be focused on has been mentioned several times already. It’s not that you will automatically be happier, less depressed, less stressed, more healthy than those without pets. But I wonder if they would find that pet owners are able to navigate/cope through these emotions, or times of illness more effectively because of the companionship/love of their pets. How many of us have gone through difficult times and said if it weren’t for our pet(s) we wouldn’t have gotten out of bed, or out of the house?
Kudos Frances.
Great discussion. I resonated with all of you who said animals are essential but not stress free. No deep, committed relationship is, at least so far for me.
I think there are people who speak dog or cat or whomever, and those who aren’t confident in visually communicated languages. And I think that the joy for me is in the interactions, the conversations my golden retriever George and I have. He currently wants to know why we aren’t playing ball at week 7 post total hip replacement surgery because he was ready 2 weeks ago and he’d rather I wasn’t the vet proxy. But I know we’ll have more adventures even better than camping and fishing on the croc infested rivers in the Northern Territory. We just need time and patience.
This is very surprising, and interesting. I am determining what I might want to focus a research project on in the “probably not too distant” future. This has peaked my interest for sure, and I feel like it is a challenge, ha! I mean… I am sure I would not be a healthy, happy adult today if not for my dogs. They have saved and served me since my earliest days. And I have done the same for them. I will be reading up on this research! Thank you!
What I like about Hal’s regular refrain is that it points out that we often don’t look to evidence except when it seems to confirm our beliefs. I don’t study the effects of the dog-human bond on health or wellbeing per se, but there are hundreds of articles that attest to the equivocal results. So I see confirmation bias on owners’ part: we see what we want to see. And I also see a challenge in capturing “well being” on the science side: there are many behavioral, survey, physiological methods, and none feels perfect. Finally, I think that we tend to try to justify things we spend a lot of time or money or effort on, so we’re likely to say “yes, it’s all worthwhile.” Otherwise we experience the cognitive dissonance of “what were we thinking?”
My personal experience is I don’t know if dogs are “good for me.” But they are deeply, essentially part of me. They have changed me, they delight me, they frustrate me. They help me imagine others’ perspectives; they give me insights into what it’s like to be someone very different than me. (And they have allowed me to gaze at them for my career!) Regardless, I think that even if they weren’t “good for us” overall, we owe dogs: we designed them, we keep making them, and we control their lives, so we need to make it better.
A late response but…. I saw Old Yeller at the movies as a child and cried my heart out. I had a make believe dog and horse I rode through fields with my friend. Finally got a sheltie dog and cared for him. As a teenager my boyfriend and I adopted and brought home a dog from a dept store. I knew my boyfriend was the one. We married and had a child young and bought a Collie. We also had a Lhasa, and two cats. Then four dobies and two English Pointers in our life. Currently a dobie and an Eng Pointer. Our lives have had stress and trauma. Our dogs have provided us love regardless. Was the trauma less, no, but the comfort while loving them was something I never want to be without. Don’t care what the tests say. I know what I feel and my life will never be without a pet/ dog.
Over the past few days the stress has been rather to the fore. Sophy has been showing increasing thirst and urination, with early morning pee paler than I would like. She was booked for a dental this morning, and we agreed to include full blood and urine tests to establish what was going on. Then yesterday Tissy-cat got into the remains of a bowl of Sophy’s food laced with a small dose of paracetamol (Sophy can’t tolerate NSAIDs and paediatric paracetamol, very carefully measured, is the fall back when she is uncomfortable). Cue a very rapid drive to the emergency vet where, although it was very unlikely the amount she ate was big enough to do any harm, she had blood tests just in case, vomiting was induced, and we eventually came home with activated charcoal. The expense was eye watering but fortunately much of it should be covered by her insurance. And today Sophy has had 7 teeth out, so another large bill but this one won’t be covered by insurance. And I am still waiting to hear how her kidneys are… Loving animals is not for the faint hearted!
Eeeeps, Frances, so sorry about all the medical, uh, adventures. Paws crossed for food news about Sophy.
Happy news – Tissy is absolutely fine and Sophy’s blood test results were all perfect, even the SDMA no cause for concern. She is bouncing back quickly from the op. So the increased thirst and urination may be a side effect of Librela or may just be aging, but does not seem to be anything too sinister – Hurrah!
The dogs are now curled up snoozing comfortably by my feet, and it all illustrates the roller coaster loving animals can put us on – massive anxiety one day, happy relief the next, with the sweet comfort of relaxed companionship counterbalancing the hours of dread. The expense is covered by my well-stuffed emergency fund – this was one of the rainy days it is intended for.
Oh such good news Frances!!! Whew.👏