It’s uh… “Throwback Monday?” Things are a tad crazy right now, what with winter looming,(Translation: Spend much of Sunday planting the 300 bulbs that arrived on Saturday. Be sore today.) and a trip to APDT tomorrow morning. I’ll be giving the Keynote Wednesday morning, please come up and say hi if you are a blog reader. (There is also a book signing from 5-6 pm on Thursday, maybe see you there?)
I’ve been having a hard time about leaving. Jim will be home and all the dogs, cats and sheep will be fine, but I am already missing them. (Which is ridiculous, given that I haven’t even left yet.) This morning, as every morning, Willie put his front paws on the bed and after licking my face, rested his head against me and gave his little moan of happiness. I stroked his head, in awe of how strong the feeling of love for an animal can be, and how lucky I am to have Willie, Maggie and Tootsie in my life. Later, momma cat Nellie rubbed against my legs and I picked her up, ignoring that my eyes would be red and itchy within seconds, and ran my hand down her head and neck. She purred. I did too.
All this got me to thinking about how appropriate it is that I’m leaving to talk to a group of people who love their dogs as much as I do. At least I’ll be in good company.
Here then, is a post I wrote in 2009, about the importance of companion animals in our lives. It all still seems so relevant (and I love reading what I wrote about Willie when he was only 2 years old.)
SEPT 2008 I was working on my new book, coming out from Dogwise in early November, and found a section that relates, I suspect, to the cancellation of my radio show, Calling All Pets. The book, coming out from Dogwise, (Tales of Two Species) is a collection of my columns from Bark magazine. One of them is titled “Pet Peeves.” In it I write about our country’s ambivalent feelings about our pets. On the one hand, many of us love them, treat them like family and can’t imagine life without them. They are as important to our well-being as is literature, music and art. (For some of us, I’d add food, water and oxygen.) And yet, look at how often we hear people say, demeaningly, that an animal is “just a pet.” Here’s an excerpt from the essay:
“Just a pet.” How many times have you heard someone say that? Perhaps it was a conformation breeder who observed, “This pup doesn’t have a good top line, so he should be sold as just a pet.” You’ve probably read the phrase in articles about how much we love our companion animals: “It is remarkable how much money the American public spends just on pets.” And companion animal owners use it—ask any veterinarian, who too often hears: “We just adore our little Cocker Spaniel, she’s the greatest joy of our lives, but we can’t afford to spay her because she’s just a pet.”
Part of the problem, I suspect, is the derivation of the word “pet.” It began as a reference to a spoiled, over-indulged child and only recently has been used to describe the dogs and the cats sharing our homes. “Spoiled and over-indulged” are not words designed to engender respect or importance, now are they? It seems that the American psyche is highly ambivalent about our companion animals… either acknowledging how much they add to our lives, or dismissing them as trivial things, something akin to children’s toys. Nice to have around, but not really important. I wrote about this at length in the afterward to For the Love of a Dog–trying to explain why those of us who love dogs so much are not neurotic or socially challenged, at least not any more than the rest of the country. One of my favorite books about the bond between people and dogs is Pack of Two, by the late (and amazing) writer, Carolyn Knapp. It is a beautiful, beautiful book, and if you haven’t read it, go get a copy right now. I deeply regret that she died, tragically, before she was able to grace us with more of her writings (and, selfishly, before I was able to meet her).
I am curious what others have found. Do you also wonder sometimes if the world sorts into two groups? Group one includes those whose love for animals informs each and every day of their lives (in this case I mean companion animals, but there’s much to say in later writings about the importance of our connection to wild animals and an understanding of their behavior). Group 2 includes people who can take them or leave them, being indifferent to pets at best and those who love them, or at worst demeaning the bond between people and animals as an example of social ineptitude. Of course, I’m oversimplifying, but I’m curious what others experience.. do you often feel like you have to justify your love for your dogs, cats, horses? (ferrets, cockatiels, rats, etc…)
It’s a gorgeous fall day here. My digital camera broke this morning, or I’d show you more pictures of Will working the lamb flock. I am busting out of my britches with pride for him… he is blossoming every day into a wonderful working stock dog. This morning the biggest ram lamb (probably 100+ pounds) turned to face Will down, ducking his head and threatening Will with a charge. Will held his ground (they were face to face, about a foot between their eyes) and stayed cool (I was saying ‘Stea-a-a-a-a-a-dy’ in my lowest and most soothing of voices) and the lamb finally turned and went where Will told him to. A few months ago Will would have exploded at the lamb, not biting but charging forward. That was okay for a young dog; the dog has to win in situations like that (sheep are not stupid, they learn very fast if they can beat a dog) even if the process isn’t elegant. However, it’s much better to keep things calm and quiet. A year ago Will would’ve backed up and the ram lamb would’ve won unless I came in to help (which I would if necessary.) Will just recently turned two, and it is a beautiful thing to watch him grow up and learn to control his emotions, and take charge when he needs to.
But still, Wll’s primary value to me is as a companion dog. I guess that means, when it comes down to it, Will is ‘just a pet.‘ Like Lassie, he adds love and light and joy into my life every day. What a gift.
MEANWHILE, back on the farm in October 2014, Willie is now 8 and young Maggie will be two years old in January. She is learning to drive (move the sheep away from me, rather than “fetching” them to me). It takes a lot of patience and practice, because Border Collies inherently want to stop the forward motion of the sheep by running to their head, and then bringing the sheep such that they are controlled between the dog and the person. It’s hard for the dogs to learn that they can control the sheep even when the sheep are walking away from them.
I thought you might be interested in watching one of her driving lessons. You’ll see in the short video that several times Maggie turns her head to look at me (Jim is the videographer). When this happens I am staying silent and even turning my head away. I don’t want her to look to me for guidance, I want her to figure out for herself what she is supposed to do next. Each time she got back up on her feet and began pushing the sheep forward again. (She usually doesn’t look at me as often as she does here, I think she was confused by Jim being there too.) If you listen carefully, you can hear me say “Come By,” meaning go clockwise around the sheep, then “Lie Down” to stop her in a position where she can begin driving again. Good girl Maggie, you’re doing really well. (Sorry about the camera noise. Sigh.)
HFR says
Wow! I don’t know much about herding but Maggie looks great out there to me! It must be hard to get sheep to take you seriously with one ear up and one at down. I would think they would see her as to adorable.
HFR says
I can definitely related to feeling as if I need to apologize for loving my dogs as much as I do. I often wonder if I feel it more since I don’t have kids. I know others think I have replaced kids with dogs (which us not true), but because of this I never refer to myself as the “mother” of my dogs. Just doesn’t feel right to me. I’m not their mother and that is okay. It does not diminish my love for them. Does anyone else feel not having kids impacts how others view them with their dogs?
Cyn says
I recently found your site as I’m dealing with a rescue dog with “issues.” As a retired couple people just assume we’re nutty about our pets and that’s okay because we are. In fact, after 40 years dealing with the corporate world my husband now has Abby beside him wherever he goes. Before, I was always the caregiver. It surprises me that people would be so rude as to comment on HFR using dogs as child replacements. I thought we had come further in society. My children are in their 40’s and do not have kids but do have dogs. It’s their business. If they’re happy so am I. And yes I’m crazy about their dogs as well!
Beth says
I love little better than watching dogs do what they were bred to do—be it herding, or flushing, or retrieving. There is such joy in their work, it’s contagious. I would not have noticed her looking toward you if you had not mentioned it.
As we were moving solidly into young adulthood and starting our own lives, my best friend brought up casually that she’d decided not to have pets (she was raised with them) because her sister, who lives out of town, is allergic and she would hate for her not to have a place to stay when she comes to visit. I responded that personally, I could not imagine a life without animals. She said I would perhaps feel differently if one of my family members could not be around them and I sort of quietly dropped the subject.
I grew up with a father who was rather badly allergic to dogs and yet we always had them. I don’t think he’d know who he was without a dog to train to hunt. Personally, not being able to have pets would have been a deal-breaker for me in any relationship, even if the reason was valid. I might be able to work around not having a specific animal— cats if someone was allergic. But my life without animals? I can’t even imagine it. It would mean giving up an entire piece of myself.
My husband and I were just discussing the other day how odd our food supply system is. How many city and suburban dwellers feed wild birds, yet how few keep chicken for eggs? I noted that I think our satisfaction from feeding birds and tending animals comes in part from a strong evolutionary drive. It’s been mentioned that we use animals as a substitute for caring for children, yet I don’t think that is it. Most of us know that our animals aren’t kids! I think it is in part that our ancestors who enjoyed tending animals were much more likely to survive and prosper than those who did not. And those who were good at it because they carefully observed the animals to see that they were happy and healthy did best of all. Whether it was the hunting dog or mouser cat, the laying hen or milking cow or transportation horse, the animals that were well-cared for provided for us and those ancient ancestors who were very good with animals did better than those who were not. And so we have a strong evolutionary imperative to take care of critters.
Gayla says
I am guilty of making unkind assumptions about people. No matter how many children they may have, if they don’t love animals, I tend to view them as “missing something” in their emotional make-up. Intellectually, I know that is unfair. But, yes. I do think of it in an “us and them” sort of way.
rheather says
I have pets because they’re not people. People are too tiring-I can relax at home with animals.
I know very nice people who don’t have pets. It just seems a little creepy and beyond understanding to me. Probably the same way I seem to them. 😉
And Maggie’s herding rocks!
Marjorie says
Our “pets” play a crucial role, they are a valuable bridge to the natural world and help to connect us to our instincts. I have always been perplexed in regards to those who claim not to be “animal/pet people” and I have always felt uneasy in their presence. I really cannot relate, as I believe we are part of nature not separate from it. Our pets help us to develop empathy and compassion, not to mention interspecies communication. Our pets make us healthier, kinder, happier and smarter. Sharing our life with an animal is one of the most amazing experiences we can have. I’m fortunate that I was raised not to fear nature, but to have reverance for it….all of it. This is what makes life rich and relevant. I am concerned that many are disconnected to nature today and if future generations do not see the value in nature then they will not be invested in preserving it.
This is a timley post when in the news today there is the report of the young woman in Dallas fighting to recover from Ebola. It has been reported by her family that her little dog is very important to her. I pray for a full recovery for her and I hope that they will be able to save her little dog, with no harm coming to anyone. I was pleased to see that the mayor of Dallas was sympathitic to the emotional needs of this young lady, and recognize the value of her pet.
widogmom says
I got together with relatives not long ago who were trying to convince me that leaving dogs outside was just fine, probably in response to my “Dogs are family – would you chain Grandma outside?” bumper sticker. Talk all you want about warm dog houses and liberty, but you’re still taking a companion animal and, not only denying it your company, but putting it at terrible risk (raccoon meningitis, anyone), simply because you’re too lazy to train a dog or too vain to have a messy house. I don’t have much use for people like that. If they think I’m “soft” or “irrational” because I have dogs who I love and take better care of than most people do their skinkids, that’s their problem, not mine.
Kathleen Bullard says
After the loss of our last two cats within 6 months of each other, I was too heartbroken to consider another pet for a while.
However when our daughter and her family had to move, I volunteered to take on their Betta fish that lived in a clear empty bowl. With an enhanced environment of live plants, snails, filter and light, we had friendly debates with friends (after watching the fish in our presence) whether the fish was really reacting to us or just swimming around. Doesn’t really matter. I felt any creature in my care and dependent upon me should have a good quality of life. I kidded that I was starting low on the sentient scale of pets and building my way up.
Now we have a small rescue dog and my husband and I are completely attached to him. We are no longer just a couple, we are a pack! We have grown married children and grandchildren and our feelings for them are clearly different than our feelings for our dog. Yet again, having an animal in our care dependent upon us requires that we do the best we can for him. The joy (and daily exercise!) he brings to our quality of life is immeasurable. And of course, the grandchildren love him too. “Just a pet?” I give the best love and care to all of my family, of which he is a part. Unlike the kids and grandkids, however, we are relived that eventually there are no college costs!
parallel says
It’s funny for me…I hear all the time that JJ is so lucky to have an owner willing to take in a blind, feral kitten with significant health issues. But every day, when he’s purring for me, snuggling in my arms, even biting my face…I genuinely and deeply feel *blessed* that he’s in my life. If there was luck involved, it was all for me. I’m in a very stressful living situation as a caregiver to an elderly parent with mental health issues, and there are days I don’t smile until he comes sauntering into the room and then I just can’t help myself. For the one, precious second, life is okay. Life is good. JJ isn’t *just* anything…he’s *everything.*
And it’s funny to me too that while I feel my responsibility for him deeply, it’s a different kind of responsibility from what I feel for my mother. With my mother, my responsibility feels hard and sometimes cold. It’s almost a thing that it is done *to me*, rather than something I do myself. With JJ, responsibility is joyous. Even when he’s costing me over 30,000 dollars, even when I’m sleeping next to his crate for weeks, even when I’m tearing myself up for making the choice to remove his eye…it’s a totally different feeling, and something I’ve never for a second regretted.
diane says
I always found it harder to be the one leaving home on a trip than the one staying behind. It’s tough to leave your family. By family – dog (for me one) included. I’ve heard many times, even from my own family, that “they are just a pet”. Honestly a long time ago I felt the same way (family influence no doubt). I am grateful I changed and appreciate them for what they are and embrace them as my family…and thanks to positive influences, I now see that my “human” family (brothers and sisters) are also changing mindset. How wonderful.
And how wonderful to watch Maggie in action! Not a qualified opinion, I know, but she looks great!!
Karen says
I was never blessed with human children either but I am proud to call my 4 dogs and 2 cats my kids. I do not think you have to give birth to be a “Mom.” All the maternal love and instinct I have in me, I lavish on my fur-babies. I see to it that they eat an organic, fresh food diet. I bathe them with natural, chemical free shampoos. I keep their nails trimmed. I brush their teeth. They have tons of toys to keep them mentally stimulated and I play with them daily. The have sweaters to keep them warm in the winter. They all have been trained and are polite, well behaved and friendly. At the first sign of a health problem I get them to the Vet. I make sure they get their meds daily, if needed. I always put the dogs safety first and will never expose them to anything I think could be unsafe. I care for and nurture them, this is what a “Mom” does. Not a day goes by that I don’t give them kisses and say “Mommy loves you!” They are my family. My favorite quote of all time is from Anatole France, “Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened.” So true.
Nic1 says
Although I have always been fascinated by animals and I really enjoyed having pet dogs around when growing up, I didn’t really feel the intense desire to care for one as an adult until quite recently. I never had any biological drive to have my own children, but increasingly I felt as though something was ‘missing ‘from my life, emotionally. Adopting a dog has proven a very acceptable alternative for me in this regard and I do acknowledge that my desire, indeed even a need, to care for an animal has definitely risen out of my female biological drive to care and nurture. I often wondered if I was feeling dissociated with nature too, as it does seem to help us connect to the natural world and our place in it. Now I have a dog, I feel much more ‘connected’ in a way I can’t quite articulate…
I do think of myself as a parent to my dog but I realised that having an intense familiarity with dogs does not equal understanding them – behaviourally or biologically. Educating myself about another species and how we interact with them, has helped me understand a lot more about the behaviour of my own species, which I never anticipated. That has been an unexpected blessing.
A challenge I have found is friends that fall into the Group 2 category. I am struggling with an old friend at the minute that has a very different attitude towards animals than I do and I am trying to find the middle ground without it affecting my relationship with her. She isn’t motivated or interested to learn about the biology dogs, yet is very sure that she knows all she needs to know. I endured a throwaway comment from her yesterday, ‘all vicious dogs should be put down’. I kept quiet…..but I wanted to scream.
The challenge lies in how we educate humans about this. Especially humans with their pets whom they love so much, and can be very sensitive about any perceived criticsim. If people are too preachy and force their opinion down your throat, it can be quite off putting. I have found this with some dog behaviour experts – they are extremely knowledgeable and welfare savvy with regard to the dogs, but off putting for the human species with how frustrated they are with everyone who keep doing things wrong! Trisha, this is why you are so important, you’re brilliant with both species! 🙂
I’d really like to see companion animal behaviour and welfare get taught at a grass root level in schools. It has proven effective in parts of the world where endangered species are misunderstood and it’s the kids of today who are going to help make the world a better place. Using our brains to try to look at the world from our pet’s perspective without it all being about ‘us’, can only benefit our social abilities and our empathy towards each other, the environment and the animals we are so privileged to share the planet with IMO
LisaH says
I feel I have my feet in both worlds ….. I participate in agility and many of the people there are full on 100% committed to their dogs’ health, nutrition, socialization, training, play, stimulation, participate in multiple dog sports, use acupuncture, chiropractic tx, massage, etc. Their dogs are absolutely family. The grief is incredible when one passes. So many I have come to know are also caretakers of cats, rats, guiena pigs, horses, chickens, sheep & snakes. Then, there are those people in my life that are without animals or seem to think they are great pet owners simply because they have pets though the animals are fed and pottied but little else. Some of them have said outright, some have implied, that the time, energy and expense that I put into my dogs is excessive, and yes, the result of my not having children, as if I am projecting my “maternal” feelings onto animals. Though I have never had a moment of wanting a child, I absolutely yearn for my dogs, I am delighted to be with them, and miss them when I am away. But I would care for any animal or person that was “mine” the same, and I did when I had cats years ago, and I do for my friends and family now. I think its more about a person’s overall compassion and empathy toward another living being than preferring one species over another. And animals do keep us connected to the natural world, the seasons, weather, daylight, plant life, the moon, everything because of their response to it and need to be outside for exercise, pottying, etc. I was not nearly as aware of the weather until I had dogs in my life. My dogs have absolutely made me a better person, and I laugh far more with them than without.
Katy says
I rarely feel I need to justify my love for my dogs but I do sometimes feel called upon to justify the “inordinate” amount of time I spend training and working with my dogs. My two older dogs both participate in rally and agility and my newest has been taking agility classes. I find myself dividing dog owners into what I think of as “casual” dog owners – the ones who have a dog and maybe walk it and ask that it does not steal food from your mouth but not much more than that – and more dedicated dog owners, who actively and continuously train their dogs. My dogs will be done with training when they are dead; until then, we will continue to work on new tricks and review old tricks, mostly because it is fun for them and for me.
Vicky in Boise says
As both a parent and a dog person, I know that what I feel for my children is different than what I feel for my dogs. It is not that one feeling is better than the other but instead how they are complimentary. Parenting and training my dogs have made me more patient and open-minded. Both my kids and dogs make me look at the world through their eyes, enhancing my own experience. And they certainly have brought equal amounts of tears and laughter! Both of my children love animals and the dogs have been joined at various times by fish, rats, guinea pigs, a bearded dragon and two cats. My kids think it’s odd when they visit friends who have no pets. There is no doubt that our lives are richer for sharing it with our dogs and we cannot imagine life without them.
Laura says
Personally, I don’t have a problem with people who don’t have pets and don’t want them. Mostly, when they say they don’t want pets they justify it by saying they don’t want the responsibility. I feel that this is a very honest and healthy thing to say. How many people have pets and then dump them off at shelters because they realize they don’t want to take care of them the way they should? When my sister got a ginni pig, I told her that she was now responsible to give him the best care she could. She did, giving him lots of good veggies with vitamin C in them, wood to chew on, plenty of play, handling and socialization. Now she has a cat and does the same for him. I believe, if we are to have animals or any being which is more volnurable than ourselves in our charge, we are obligated to give them the best care we can. This includes animals and humans alike. I think Beth is right when she says that probably the people who cared for animals well, cared in turn for their human family just as well and it helped the entire family thrive. Also, to the commenter who didn’t like the idea of the dogs sleeping outside, it might help to know that some dogs love being outside, even prefer it to being inside. In Tricia’s first book, or was it the second?… she wrote about one of her dogs prefering to sleep outside of the nice, cozy dog house, or was it a kennel, she’d built for it. She thought that the dog would naturally, want to sleep in some place cozy and snuggly warm, like we would and the dog just, didn’t. Also, from personal experience, my husband’s grandmother has a little, sweet as pie Corggy who adores being outside. She has a dog house and they live in Georgia, which is much warmer than winters up here, but she is perfectly happy being outside all of the time and still bounces up to us for pets and snuggles. Now, that being said, if the dog obviously wants to come inside and it’s human care-takers aren’t letting it, that’s just cruel.
Regarding people who’ve said negative things about my love for my dogs, what I’ve mostly heard is people commenting on how I could ever trust a dog with my safety the way I do. I can understand it, I suppose, given that we use our eyes for everything and lots of people can’t imagine what they would do if they couldn’t see, but the comment does give me pause because the trust I have and have had with each of my dogs is very important, especially at night when my vision is entirely unreliable. Personally, on the other side of the coin, I can’t imagine how all of you drive cars. 🙂
For me, it’s nice to see here, that people do make a distinction between humans and dogs, even if they think of their dogs or cats as fur-kids, and I do call myself Seamus’s Mom, but for people who really do view their pet animals as children, I feel this does just as much of a disservice to the animal as the opposite view we’re discussing. Animals are not people, and they can’t be treated the same way. By that I mean, you can’t say something like, “Oh, Fluffy got mad at me for leaving her today, so she peed on the carpet.” No, Fluffy probably had to pee, because she wasn’t crated or confined to a room somewhere, she moved around a lot after eating and just, went, dogs do that. I’m not a fan of the methods of the Dog Whisperer and much prefer Tricia’s methods of how to treat animal behavior, but the one thing his show does point out repeatedly is this. People tend to trap animals in the past, whether it’s the loss of a beloved dog they are attempting to replace, or the owner holding on to the fact that the animal came from an abusive home and coddling them because of it, we can trap our animals there in our efforts to be compassionate to their situation. We need to be aware of their past, yes, but we also need to be open to what they have to teach us about themselves.
Ok, have written a novel and work calls me back, but good comments so far.
Mireille says
When we got our first dogs a friend of ours remarked ‘now we are certain you won’t have kids’. We knew we would’nt so as a kind of ‘tongue in cheek’ joke we send cards to our friends announcing our new ‘kids’. Some loved it, others were a bit… uh,, humorless about it? It made me a bit leary about telling other people aboyt my dogs,
When I had a burnout, my coach advised me to mention my dogs more often. Don’t be ashamed, just show your love and enthousiasm! And it works, I am more myself and I had some very nice converstations about them and newfound friends :-).
My dogs are very important for me and occasionally I skip business meetings for them. i was alwasy afraid people would judge me for that, instead they appreciate my dedication to my own choices. And I get to spend more time outdoors than in, which certainly is a win-win situation.
What also makes me smile a lot; a co-worker bought a dog two years ago because husband and son wanted it soooo much. But she was really afraid, crying in my office about the biting devil where I saw a cute puppy. two years later on I get stories about how her dog hates it when she goes away for a couple of days and how they misse each other 🙂 and how she is not afraid of dogs anymore! We are now facing a major change at work and she is a bit scared, so occasionally I reming her of how she was able to overcome her fear of dogs and how she is braver than she thinks 🙂 🙂
EmilySHS says
I once had a wonderful family with older kids come into the shelter where I work. Their elderly dog had passed away, and they were thinking about adopting a new dog. Dad and the kids seemed excited about it; Mom, not so much. I had a chance to speak to her privately, and she confessed that she didn’t really care for dogs, their old dog had been too rambunctious. She was a totally conscientious owner, but it had always been out of duty, because the kids “should” have a dog and she was being a Good Mom about it.
As Fate would have it, I had in an exceptionally amazing young dog–a Border collie as it happened, likely dumped because he was too soft and not drivey enough for ranch work. I brought him out to meet the family, and told her, “Why don’t you give him a try? He’s a naturally well-mannered dog, very polite, and he listens really well.” The kids liked him; Dad liked the idea of going biking with him; the dog liked them. Okay, Mom agreed, and they took the dog home.
Two weeks later, I came back from lunch to find Mom in the office, looking not only devastated but confused: like seeing the gates of Heaven and Hell opening at the same time. “He ran off,” she said, and explained that her husband had been out biking with the dog, had taken a spill, and the dog had gotten scared and run off into the woods. Mom went on, “There’s a storm coming in, and he’s out there. Oh God, I love that dog. How can I love that dog? I’ve never loved a dog like this before. I don’t think I’ve ever loved anything like this before.”
They found the dog, safe; it was a happy ending. I’ll never forget her, though, the look of revelation on her face telling me that.
Gayla says
Ah, Emily! Thanks for that!!
When my husband moved in with me (37 years ago) I’m ashamed to say I allowed him to insist that my dog move outside. (He had never had a dog. Thought it was “dirty” to have the dog live inside with us.) Thankfully, that only lasted a couple of months… Now, I’m struggling to train our current dog to stay off of our bed. Guess who insists it’s okay for her to get up there whenever she wants?
Kat says
My mother is famously unsentimental about animals. It’s kind of funny in a way since she and my dad have always had pets and she takes excellent care of them and enjoys their company but when their end comes she’s extremely matter of fact and “that’s just the way it is.” IWhen Ranger had his recent illness I was talking to her about how worrisome it was to have Ranger so sick. Her response touched me deeply, “well it’s different when you have a dog like Ranger.” For most animals her advice would have been to have the sick animal put down to save the animal suffering but equally to avoid the large vet bills.
Robin Jackson says
Really interesting new study out from Massachusetts General using brain imaging. They tested moms who had both a child and a dog, and then showed them pictures of their child, their dog, a stranger’s child, and a stranger’s dog, and looked at where brain activity occurred.
Most media outlets are reporting this as “you love your pets just like you love your kids,” but in fact that’s NOT what the study found.
Instead, it found that looking at pictures of your own child and your own dog did both raise feelings of affection and happiness.
However, it also found some very real differences.
First, the difference in happiness in looking at your own child vs someone else’s child was much stronger than in looking at your own dog vs someone else’s dog. (As demonstrated in part by how much readers of this blog enjoy looking at pictures of Maggie and Willie!)
Second, looking at your own dog activated the part of the brain that does facial recognition, while looking at your own child does not. Lots of possible reasons for that. Maybe dogs look more alike than kids? Or maybe it’s far more dangerous to make a mistake about whether that dog is yours or not.
Third, looking at your own child significantly raised midbrain activity, while looking at your own dog did not. Again, lots of possible explanations for that, but one really interesting point is that this area of the midbrain is a dopamine generator (not a dopamine receptor). Which means seeing your own child increases your motivation to DO something in a way that seeing your own dog does not.
Now…this is only a first step study, and the researchers intend to do a lot more. There’s no telling yet whether fathers show the same results as mothers. Or whether people who don’t have kids but do have dogs show the same pattern as parents or do in fact react to their own dogs much as parents react to their own kids.
The authors’ conclusion: “Although there are similarities in the perceived emotional experience and brain function associated with the mother-child and mother-dog bond, there are also key differences that may reflect variance in the evolutionary course and function of these relationships.”
http://www.plosone.org/article/info%253Adoi%252F10.1371%252Fjournal.pone.0107205
Speaking just for myself as someone who has both kids and dogs, I agree with Vicky and Laura that in my own life the two feelings are clearly different, but the attachment is real in both cases.
Anyway, just thought the study might be fun to review, it was just released this month. 🙂
Wanda Jacobsen says
Have you read the article about Janet McNally in the October issue of Mpls./St. Paul magazine “Wolves at the Door” by Dara Moskowitz Grumdahl? Very interesting.
Nic1 says
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/11171419/Touching-moment-sick-elderly-man-is-reunited-with-his-dog.html
The Importance of Pets indeed…
“When bubba was handed to James he started to cry and then Bubba started to snuggle James and it makes you realize that animals are not just pets they are loved ones.”
*wipes tears*
Nic1 says
Nice find Robin!
Is the facial recognition bit and activity associated with dopamine critical as part of our evolutionary success perhaps? It’s not critical that we recognise our dogs in the same manner in relation to genetics is it?
What about mothers of adopted children? There will be a nurturing bond based on good parenting, without the genetic element?
Just some quick thoughts as haven’t had time to read the paper yet!
Chris Vereide says
Sorry, my comment is going to be a little off topic. I started reading Don’t Shoot the Dog and something you said in the last paragraph reminded me of a section in the book I just read today. You mention that “come by” means to move clockwise around the sheep, which I think is the traditional command for this behavior. In chapter three, in the section titled “What Kind of Signal ?”, Karen Pryor talks about how a learned signal can be absolutely anything, but many times trainers will stick to traditional naming conventions anyway. Not a criticism, just found it interesting.
Connie Carlson says
Well, it is a question that is asked over and over again, and solicits very visceral responses every time it seems!
My two cents? Maybe it can be divided into those that can allow themselves to feel intimacy with other species, and those who cannot. I am one that CAN, and do so with dogs, and truly struggle to comprehend why others CAN’T. Then there are others that can barely tolerate the discomfort of intimacy with a spouse, let alone another species, and probably cannot fathom, likely just as vehemently, what an intimate relationship with ‘just a pet’ would be like.
Case in point – I rescued a Lab mix over ten years ago, and lost him to a liver tumor August 2nd of this year. I took a long vacation shortly after, which distracted me for a bit, but upon returning home I realized that I not only want a dog in my world but NEED one. I missed the help getting out of bed in the morning. I realized I needed help thinking about someone/thing else besides myself at regular and multiple intervals during the day. And I needed the inevitable social interactions of owning a dog – I feel so much more invisible without a dog and so much more accessible and visible WITH one (hey – what a cute dog, what kind is it? etc, etc).
And I simply feel more loved. I started to feel really depressed, realizing all this, and quickly found a dog to foster even though I knew I had not finished grieving my loss (I am officially a Foster Failure though; SO happy with my new pup!).
Is it because I am single, without kids, and living alone? Yes, of course those are factors. But I am a massage therapist, so I deal with people at a level of intimacy that most people run from. I love kids, and would have some of my own in a heartbeat if circumstances (ie being married first) in my life were different. In other words I don’t believe my capacity for intimacy with humans is any less or is ‘warped’ any odd way just because I have the capacity to feel closely attached to a dog – I just need the intimate relationship of having a dog as much as I need it from my fellow humans (and I do get it in ways outside my massage practice fyi – another discussion entirely).
My Mother on the other hand? Her reaction to the news I have a new dog? “Well I guess that ruins Christmas!” In other words, me having to bring my dog to her house (two states away), is not me bringing a part of myself or my life, but is me bringing a ‘potential for disruption’ and nothing more. Oh, maybe more; ‘the dog’ is something that could ‘steal’ the affection of her grandkids (my niece and nephew) away from her is my best guess at the true underlying issue.
Why doesn’t my Mom understand there is more than enough ‘love’ in this world – others loving something that is ‘just a pet’ does not diminish the love we have for her? And why can I do so and not her? She hates to feel vulnerable, I know that much. I am not super fond of it either, but I have learned to tolerate it, and the reward of love and affection a dog brings to my life is SOO worth the agony of losing them in the end.
The pure joy of a 4 month old puppy I have had for only two weeks, nosing me in the leg because I am typing on the computer and not playing right now… reason enough to end here. 🙂
Trisha says
Thanks Robin for alerting us to that fascinating study at Mass General! Very interesting.