Oh my. An article just came out in the Sunday Wisconsin State Journal about dog parks, full of information about how to read dog language to prevent potential problems between dogs. The author, Chris Martell, spent a long time with me, gathering photographs (thank you to all who have sent me photos to use for education!), getting clear on what signals meant what…. All that is greatly appreciated. She even checked the accuracy of quotes with me, something many journalists don’t do. But when I read “..McConnell says many dog owners–no matter how much they love their pets — are clueless when it comes to body language,” I winced. Ouch. “Clueless.” That sounds horrible. Did I say that?
The truth is, many dog owners are not very good at reading body language from dogs.. but “clueless?” That’s not a word I ever use, and it sounds so rude. Did Chris read me that quote when she was fact checking? Could be… there were several quotes in which she had used “most” and I asked her to change the word to “many.” It might be that ‘clueless’ slipped by, while I focused on the word ‘”most” instead of “many.”
I read the sentence to Jim, and he said “Uh oh.” I asked Office Manager Denise if she’d read it and she said, “Yes, and I said ‘Uh oh’ when I did. I knew you wouldn’t like it.” She was right. I put the paper down and couldn’t look at it until today. It has always been essential to me to be as respectful to people as I am to dogs. They are, after all, my two favorite species. I don’t understand professionals in the training and behavior world who are kind and gentle to dogs, and impatient and rude to people. I do understand that it can get frustrating to say the same thing year after year in answer to the same seemingly simple question, but as the saying goes: “A good teacher responds to questions she’s been asked a thousand times as if each time is the first time she’s ever been asked.” After all, if everyone knew all they needed to know about dogs and training… professional trainers would be out of a job. I always tell trainers to remind themselves that every question, no matter how basic, is their bread and butter (or their dog’s orthopedic surgery, etc etc.)
I felt a little sick all day yesterday about the whole thing… you’re just so helpless once something comes out in print. And the journalist in question here did a truly bang up job.. I have no complaints there at all. I just wasn’t careful enough about how each word would sound when it was printed in a Sunday paper. (I used the F word once when talking to a journalist in Chicago. We’d talked for over an hour, she was loose and goosey and funny and we laughed as much as we talked. I was dumbstruck when she quoted me exactly, inserting a line that I had thrown off as a joke between her and me. Reading it in the Chicago Tribune Sunday magazine was like being hit in the stomach. It does make me laugh to remember that it’s the only major article I never sent to my mother when she was still alive. At least I learned my lesson on that one! (Or will I be sorry tomorrow that I wrote on my blog that I used the F word once when talking to a journalist? Sigh.)
Well, here’s the good news. There is a lot of good information about reading body language in the article, Chris Martell did a really good job of conveying a lot of information in a very short space. I did get an email from someone who said she loved the article, so at least that’s one person who doesn’t think I’m a rude and arrogant jerk. (I also said I don’t think dogs should go to an off-leash dog park unless they have a reliable recall. I truly believe that, but I am sure it won’t make me very popular!)
Here’s some more good things: some photos of the joy-filled Easter ritual that Jim and I celebrate every Easter. With our dear friends, David and Julie, we decorate Easter eggs like a bunch of kids, and then take turns hiding them for each other (usually the girls against the boys.) We have a great time… it’s a perfect example of “flow” and playing in a child like way.
Such a joy to play with color after a long, black, white and brown winter! And here’s the winner (Jim’s masterpiece):
Kerry L. says
I had never been to a dog park until June of 2006 when I adopted Walter, my corgi. The trainers at our obedience school generally discourage using the dog parks (for health and injury reasons) but Walter drags his front feet when walking on the sidewalks. The middle two nails on each of his front feet are usually scraped right down to the quick so the dog park is where he gets the most exercise. Even though I had attended obedience classes with my previous dog, I was ‘clueless’ about the body language of dogs as they interact with one another off-leash. I spent many panicked hours scouring the library and internet for information on canine body language and dog park etiquette in order to feel safer and more confident while at the park. Your books and the books on off-leash play and parks have been invaluable to me, not only in teaching me about dog’s body language, but in how my body language influences the dogs. (Your books also told me it was ok to love my dogs as deeply as I do). Walter and I have worked tirelessly on his recall and ‘wait’ command and I save the chicken for use at the dog park only. Walter is a rough-and-tumble, confident little dog but, luckily for me, he is good-natured and listens well. Thanks for all your help to those of us who have truly been ‘clueless’ in the past. Kerry
Mihaela says
Don’t be so hard on yourself, Tricia! First of all, “clueless” is not really rude nor horrible, and second of all, it’s not entirely without a base in reality… People just need to learn more about dogs if they’re going to share their lives with them. That doesn’t say anything bad about their intellectual capacities, it just says they need more information. What is wrong with that??? Also, you are only human, and you do public speaking as a “job”. So there will be times when things come out differently than intended. Just learn how to deal with those (definitely painful) moments from our politicians. You have our vote anyway!
Liz F. says
Okay, even writing here can be a challenge to me (should I word it this way or that?) so it’s hard for me to imagine doing what you do. I have the utmost respect. It is so hard to be conscious and patient and respectful all the time, to have a slip be recorded in print would make me wince, too.
But on many levels I agree with the statement that there are people at dog parks who are ‘clueless’ about body language… especially those out there who are not very attentive to their dog(s). It is so sad for me to see people who are uninterested in what their dogs are doing at the park, and we can all get distracted time to time, but just tuning out means we miss tons of opportunities to be with/learn about our pets.
Also, I think there are people who can sometimes look at going to the dog park as a chore, one to be completed and checked off of a list rather than a free flowing event. It’s as if there is just no time for patience and observation in trying to make the experience as good as possible. These people often get as angry/frustrated as their dogs get afraid/disobedient. I’ve gone to the park when I didn’t really have enough time or was just in a foul mood and later wished I hadn’t gone. Maybe I’m an idealist, but I try to reserve the dog park as a pinnacle of goodness (people and dogs at their best) because some of the best experiences I’ve ever had have been watching my dogs interact at the park. I hope to try to keep it that way.
I understand that we can’t all be ‘on’ all the time, but we can at least try. Thanks for trying, even if it didn’t come out exactly as you wished.
I hope to always dye Easter eggs. While all the pictures included in your blog really are beautiful, I love the eggs!
Shaya says
Reading your books and blog I’ve always admired how unpretentious you seem.
“Clueless” seems like a word that is often included in articles and doesn’t strike me as all that horrible.
Sue says
I went and found the article. There is a lot of good information for owners who take their dogs to dog parks. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Clueless people are why I don’t take my dogs to dog parks. 🙂
Patti Kayne says
Most of us ARE clueless when it comes to reading body language. Don’t worry about it.
Jim says
Is this article available online anywhere? We just got back home yesterday from a visit to the park to meet a possible adoptee as a companion to our current dog and could have used some pointers on body language.
There was some growling going on that we haven’t heard from our dog before but overall *I* thought both dogs looked very relaxed and were just playing a bit rough but my wife wasn’t convinced. They were both responsive to commands and I was feeding both chopped up hot dogs and there was no fighting over those.
So much to learn! 🙂
EmilyS says
well, if it’s any consolation, most owners ARE clueless about their dog’s body language.
And you can quote me. (but then, I’m not nice like you are!)
😉
EmilyS says
p.s. here’s the link to the story online, with some illustrations:
http://77square.com/citylife/features/story_446634
I think it’s a very good introduction… hopefully gave the local folks something to think about.
Debra says
I think you’re being too hard on yourself. I think “clueless” is really okay – many owners really are clueless at dog parks, and some really don’t care to become “clued in” either. I’ve watched many owners just ignore escalating situations while they sit on a bench and read their paper or talk endlessly on their cell phones – ignoring all the body language clues that were being shared! After a puppy was bloodied by a big lab and the owner didn’t even go after his dog (“oh – they’ll work it out on their own”) I’d had enough. I have my own “dog park” now at home, and invite only well mannered dog owners to bring their dogs to play.
Jennnifer Hamilton says
“Stop”…click/treat. Before you beat yourself up anymore…some of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned were when a teacher, coach, mentor or therapist I respected gave me a splash of cold water in the face. They didn’t do it to hurt my feelings, punish me or to make himself or herself feel better, but to give me the dose of reality I needed to break through a learning barrier. Sometimes it was book learning, sometimes it was life learning. I believe most people at dog parks need a wake up call. Not to be condescending, not to be rude…but because their safety and the safety of the dogs depend on it.
Here’s another way to look at it:
– 1/3 of the readers are in the clueless category and will be clueless no matter how you say it…they can’t be helped because they have little interest or willingness to learn more.
– 1/3 of the readers are in the clueless category and read the article with great interest. They asked themselves, “I wonder if I have been clueless…and how could I learn more to make sure I don’t fall into that category in the future”. These are the people that will really benefit from a wake up call or the splash in the face. Without it, they will assume that they are much wiser than they really are.
– 1/3 of the readers are pretty good judges of dog body language and are very frustrated with how clueless the other 2/3 of the dog park goers are. They wish these people would learn more so as not to put them, their dog or the dogs of others at risk. This group is very happy you said what you had to say.
So, in summary…
1/3 wouldn’t have listened no matter how you said what you had to say
1/3 learned a great deal and needed you to say it they way you did
1/3 are thrilled that you finally confirmed what they already know
Your motivation is the key here. If your motivation was to sound smarter than everyone else and belittle them in the process, well than that’s bad. But if your motivation was to give people a wake up call and help them breakthrough the clueless barrier, well then your words were very well said!
Click/treat! if I have anything to say about it.
Dana O. says
I read your post from April 13th. I wouldn’t be offended by the word “clueless” — in fact, I agree! Most owners ARE clueless about reading their dog’s body language and signals. It’s been 10 years now since I started taking obedience classes with the dogs and started reading every book I could get my hands on. I was clueless in the beginning, too. I’d like to think that I am much better at reading my dogs these days, although I’m sure I miss something once in a while. I just finished your book (For the Love of a Dog) and thoroughly enjoyed it! I recommended it to all my dog friends. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with all of us. Where would we be without it?
Kaiser Soze says
Is there an online version of that article? I’d like to check it out.
I looked at the WSJ’s website but couldn’t find much.
Kate says
Patricia, this is a timely, wonderful article. While I’m no expert, I often encounter many of the overly-friendly dogs in *on-leash* areas: folks let their dogs run free “because they’re friendly”, but don’t understand that this makes some dogs very uncomfortable; and, when the uncomfortable dog reacts, how many times is *he* perceived as the “bad guy”!
Until recently, I felt like a failure for having a dog that will never be able to visit a dog park. Now I realize I’m not alone, and not every dog *should* go to such a park.
It would be wonderful to read your opinions about feeding.
Thank you for continuing to provide such useful information.
Kelly Ladouceur says
Trisha, if that is the worst thing you ever say that gets re-printed, you’re lucky. I live with a journalist (my father), and he always says that unless a person specifically says “off the record” then anything goes. They will use whatever they hear/understand to make the story more readable.
Clueless DOES apply to many people at dog parks. I think Jennifer Hamilton’s reply says it all . . . you probably reached some people that were receptive to your comments, which makes the article a positive overall.
And hey, we all love you (or we wouldn’t be reading your blog and leaving comments), so that’s gotta take the sting out a bit 🙂
Lolly Lijewski says
I enjoy reading your blog and your books so much, and have learned so much from you. Jennifer Hamilton says it for me. I consider myself in the second group; I’ve learned a lot, but I’m still learning. Talking to the press, no matter who the press might be, is always a risk. As one who writes stories about others, there is always some lisence the writer takes that the subject may not be comfortable with. Think of how many interviews you’ve done, and how much good information you’ve put out there for people to use. your glass is more than half full.
ABandMM says
Echoing everyone above, I would not feel bad about using the word “clueless”. Look at how much misunderstandings there are between humans about what is said/how it said/ and with what look. Now try and read your own dog and then reading your dog in the context of other dogs at a dog park. Clueless is a pretty good word.
In the article, you gave people several “clues” to look for, but it does take time, and experience and some dogs are very expressive, where as other dogs send out more subtle changes in body language.
I do enjoy looking at the photos, though when I read the article in my Firefox browser, the captions got cut off.
My dog and I were at a Rally Trial this weekend and there was a photographer there. I cannot wait to see the pictures of my dog, to see if I can “gauge” (guess!) want might be going on in her mind.
lin says
In your writings, radio shows, and interviews, I have always, always admired how you never disrespected anyone, even if their opinions differed mightily from yours. Your courtesy and fairness are rare things, inside or outside the training world.
I’m not a journalist, so I don’t know how they are trained to take notes, or confirm quotes. But having been interviewed a couple of times by neighborhood papers, I have seen how my words have been condensed, re-arranged or paraphrased. They got the essence and spirit of what I wanted to say, so it wasn’t a big deal, but if they hadn’t, I would have been pretty upset. And in regards to that Chicago journalist, that definitely must have felt underhanded. Maybe journalists should be required to recite a version of the Miranda warning before starting an interview: “Anything you say can and will be used against you…”
Beautiful eggs! After the hunt, do you send Lassie and Willie find the ones you missed?
Shira says
As a journalist myself, I can say that you are definitely not responsible for any sentence that is not within quotation marks. “Clueless” was the writer’s term, not yours. That’s clear. And as a reader, I would never take offense at being characterized that way, anyway. So please don’t sweat it! The more articles like this, the better. I wish you would come to NYC and give workshops to the dog owners here.
Don says
Count me as another who doesn’t think that the “clueless” remark makes you arrogant or disrespectful at all. Other greats have certainly said worse. Actually, it’s kind of true anyway, no? The F-bomb, though…that’s entertaining.
I look forward to reading the Wisconsin State Journal article.
Debbie Jacobs says
Given that we’ve been living with dogs for thousands of years I don’t think that ‘clueless’ is far off the mark. Even a wagging tail gets misinterpreted often. Like any language there is always more to learn and since ‘dog’ is not my first language (though pretty close to it, I was born into a house with a dog) fluency is achieved through practice.
I could use a dictionary to read just the ear placements on one of my dogs.
Rose T. says
Tricia – I wouldn’t worry about that “clueless” remark, because in fact many people at the dog park are ignorant to canine body language. I don’t think it’s rude, but unfortunately, a fairly accurate statement.
I frequent the dog park with my girl because she needs to run,chase and play with other dogs. Well an owner brought in a deathly afraid pint sized Chi and then was upset with me because my dog was chasing it???? Can we say Clueless?????? It was quite obviously that this gentleman knew nothing about what happens at a dog park, or fixed action patterns in dogs, etc. Luckily, after some work, I was able to call my dog off and we left. I didn’t want to deal with it.
Jan Carr says
Here’s a link to the article for those who have not seen it:
http://77square.com/citylife/features/story_446634
As for your use of the word “clueless,” that’s the same word I would choose. But like you, I don’t mean it in a pejorative way.
That is, by the time most people decide to get a dog they generally have some idea how to go about civilizing their dog, teaching basic obedience etc. And if they have problems, there are plenty of books and obedience classes.
However, dog park etiquette is a whole different matter, mostly because dog parks are a relatively new phenomena, and until very recently, dog book authors have not addressed the range of issues that come up in an off-leash setting.
Even though I am an experienced dog parker, I would still describe myself as borderline clueless when it comes to accurately reading a dog’s body language.
What we really need is a short, understandable book on just this topic — with good illustrations.
Got your pen ready……………………..?
Pat Bee says
From my observation,”clueless” would describe the state of mind of far too many dog owners, and not just about body language.
I can’t tell you how many humans who belong to my local membership dog park continually admonish their dogs with embarrassment for sniffing their fellow canines in their nether regions, even when another human good-naturedly reminds them that that’s the way dogs say how’ja do. They are further clueless when reminded that they must keep their eyes on their dog at all times. The human attitude seems to be that it’s the park, a fun place for one and all, and they refuse to believe that anything untoward can occur. Humans with the tiniest breeds are clueless as to the danger in letting these little ones run with the big dogs, yet if an unfortunate incident were to occur, the larger dog and its human are the bad guys.
At least in a membership park the dogs are all vetted (and males over seven months must be neutered) and when the third reasonable complaint about a dog’s behavior is made, their membership is revoked. This sort of protection is nonexistent in municipal dog parks.
Every dog owner recognizes her dog’s body language when the dog is getting ready to poo, but few of us get much beyond that. As an animal behavior professional, when you’re speaking about humans’ knowledge of canine body language,”clueless” is a polite word word to use!
Thanks to Jan Carr above for the link to the article. And I suggest a VIDEO or a series of them for educating about canine body language.
Thanks to
Debby Rightmyer says
Clueless is on the ball. I could think of a lot less politically correct terms. I admit I am clueless about fixing cars and flying airplanes. So what.
Seriouly though, people do need to educate themselves on canine body language. I am constantly explaining to people that their dogs are playing when they think they are fighting as well as warning people when they should interupt an impending fight.
By the way, I have read all your books and I think you are great!
Trisha says
Thanks to you all, your words helped a lot. (And Jennifer, great analysis!)
Here’s what I’m clueless about: how cars work and how to fix them when they don’t (okay, I don’t care… it doesn’t breath, eat or poop and I can’t train it, so what’s the attraction?), three dimensional abstractions in space (cis/trans forms of molecules in organic chemistry was a nightmare) and the name of any actor/actress or singer who has done anything in the last 20 years. (I love movies, adore them, but never remember the names of the actors. Okay, that’s not true. I remember Donald Craig’s name, oh yes I do.)
Dena Norton says
Trisha,
The Easter eggs are gorgeous! Jim’s winner has a couple of close runner-ups. They look (to me) like lovely alien planets.
Rachael says
Dear Patricia,
I am 43 and have had one or more Labs almost my entire life. I love my dogs as much as any dog “nut”. A few years ago, my Lab bit my son. (He was OK.) I was eventually directed to your books for my own education. You have a paragraph in one of them that describes the bite incident almost verbatim.
The very hardest part of this incident was giving my Lab back to Lab Rescue. The second hardest part was the realization of how CLUELESS I was. I had so much self-identity involved in loving dogs. I spent a lot of time and effort, both physical and psychological, on my dogs, and I thought I was somewhat of an expert. I hadn’t known, until I read your books, how much I was missing.
It hurt to realize I was clueless, but that is part of life. Now, I am more clued in, and hope to be even better to my current and future dogs.
Clueless is not so bad. It happens. So, I believe you didn’t say it, but I sure did when I read your books.
Rachael