“Three days, three weeks, three months.” That’s the mantra of many dog trainers and behaviorists, when welcoming a new dog into their household. The “magic of threes” is especially relevant when adopting an adolescent or adult dog into your home. Dogs, especially non-puppies, are often in a bit of shock for the first three days in a new home, and don’t show you too much about who they are until they’ve been there a few days. After three weeks many dogs have settled in such that they behave as though they feel like they are “home” now, but don’t fit into your routine until about three months have gone by. The number three has another relevance to new dogs: See below for the three ways we most confuse new dogs, and how to prevent it.
I’ve thought about this a lot lately, for a couple of reasons. First, it is the three-year anniversary of Love Has No Age Limit: Welcoming an Adopted Dog into Your Home. I co-authored the book with Dr. Karen London, a great behaviorist and author in her own right. She shared my experience of seeing multitudes of people who had gotten an older dog, often from a shelter or rescue, and were struggling with the transition. We wanted to write a concise but thorough booklet to help adopters, and make it priced so that shelters and rescues could hand it out to everyone. The book’s success has been beyond our expectations (it’s sold over 40,000 copies so far) and makes us both all oxytocin-y inside.
In honor of the book’s three year anniversary, we’re offering a “Buy One, Get Another One Free” sale. The hope is that dog lovers will buy one for themselves or a friend, and then donate the free one to their favorite shelter or rescue group.
The second reason I’ve thought about this lately is that our new dog Maggie is coming up on her three-month anniversary here. And just like clock-work, last night I asked Jim if he had noticed how well Maggie has settled in. Everything is so much easier now, for all of us. She knows the routine and has adjusted her biological clock to it. She has learned a lot about what is chewable and what isn’t, where to go potty, how to tell me if she’s desperate to go, and has worked out a great relationship with Willie. She has a great deal to learn, lots and lots, but it almost feels like we can all breathe a big sigh of relief now that we’ve hit the three month marker.
The exact same thing happened with our Cavalier, Tootsie, when we adopted her a few years ago. Tootsie, having been rescued from a puppy mill, had little idea about where to potty, to come when called, or to do much of anything on cue. I think it took a full year for her to totally settle in (I think it takes most dogs at least that long) but the three-month marker was a big one for us.
In celebration of the magic of threes, here are three biggest mistakes people make when adopting an adolescent or adult dog:
One: “Oh, good, he’s house trained.” Not in your house he isn’t! Dogs don’t necessarily generalize from one place to another until they’ve had a lot of experience in different places, so treat your three-year old dog like a puppy for the first few weeks. That took three weeks with Maggie and three months with Tootsie, who learned to potty where she ate and slept while confined to a cage in a puppy mill.
Two: “We’ll have everyone over to socialize him!” (Variant: “We’ll take him to training class tomorrow night!”) Your new dog didn’t spend weeks or months deciding to move to a new place, so he or she is probably in a bit of shock. New dogs need quiet time to adjust to their new surroundings, so go easy on the visitors or the new experiences for awhile. Remember that your new house is as big a “new experience” as is possible.
Three: “Oh No! We’ve had him two weeks already and now there’s a behavioral problem!” It’s true that some behavioral problems are so serious that they can’t be treated, but it is much (MUCH) more common that whatever is going on will be resolved with some simple training, patience, and yes, faith. I know well what it feels like to have “adopter’s remorse,” even with my background there have been moments I asked myself what the heck I was thinking after Tootsie and Maggie came. But all dogs, just like all people, need time and good coaching to be the best they can be. Most problems are fixable, so it’s okay to take a breath and think through the solution. Most importantly: Think long term, as in, it is going to take three months for my new dog to begin to settle in, and a full year for that to happen completely.
What about you? What has been your experience when bringing an older dog into your home? FYI, if you’d like to read more, go to the Adoption page in the Reading Room on my website.
MEANWHILE, back on the farm: Wheeee! Could you please put more hours in the day? There is SO much to do this time of year in the country, but not enough daylight to do it. Yes, I know, we’re moving toward the days with the most hours of daylight, but it’s still not enough!
Will you all forgive me if I cut this short so that I can get outside in the garden, and thus have time later tonight to work my dogs on sheep? Here, by the way, is the swing we never sit in this time of year: (Don’t take this as a whine, we love working on the farm and the garden. It’s just with 12+ acres and a late, late winter, there’s more than enough to keep us busy right now.)
Jacqui Naud says
In November 2013 I adopted a 3 year old mini Aussie from NorCal Aussie Rescue. I also have two other dogs; a 10 year old mini Aussie from NorCal and a 4 year old Chihuahua I found as a puppy. This adoption was an emergency adoption to get the dog away from its owner, who had no time for it and was leaving it at doggie day care day and night. After about three weeks, it was obvious Hud had not been well socialized; he had fear aggression towards other dogs on leash. Hud got along great with my other two dogs and is a very loving dog to my husband and I. By March, Hud had bitten 6 people, including a 5 year old neighbor. I tried my best to train him to not be so fearful, but I realized I did not have the skills necessary to fix his issues. So I enrolled him in a 3-week Behavior Boot Camp. He returned home two months ago a totally different dog. He still occasionally reacts to other dogs, but mostly he just whimpers instead of growling, barking and gnashing his teeth. His trainer also trained my husband and I upon Hud’s return home. Hud continues to improve and is becoming a loving, confident, and trusting little dog.
Sharon Anderson says
We’ve had 6 adopted dogs including our current 4 and your points are pretty spot on. two of our dogs have taken much longer than 3 months to really settle in and shine. Our Lily was 9 when we adopted her; she was an owner surrender at that age. From the beginning she was a sweet peaceful girl but after living with us (including 2 other dogs) for 18 months she bloomed into this incredible loving family dog. I conduct home visits for 2 rescue groups and I include this story into this visit. Patience, patience, and more patience! Thank you for your great insight –
Sandra Magee says
Very timely, we just brought home a new puppy (Aussie – 9 wks old). I really needed something I could give to my husband so he could understand that dogs do not generalize and the little guy needs some parameters to help with his transition. I think this applies to puppies as well as adult dogs. Thank you for your wonderful words of wisdom.
David Levenson says
Great article. Our older rescue, Fritz, took about three months to get over barking all night, tearing down window shades, trying to rip down the door I left from everyday, fear of all women, fear of odd noises, car fear and carsickness, and the feeling that Elvis, Jesus, and the Beatles came home with me from work. After having him for six months, I began bringing him to our local farmer’s market every week, and he’s now quite a star there. I found out that he is wonderful with little children, and he’s now a very calm soul. We adopted a second dog eighteen months later, and after a warm up period they are best buddies. I agree, time and patience really helps.
elizabeth says
This is a very timely post for our family. We are about to adopt a 6 month old lab/GSD x. Picking him up at beginning of July. We are having hose guests staying for a couple of weeks this month so instead of adding more fuss and confusion to his first weeks here his current fosters are boarding him for us till they’ve gone. Got the book in the post above and read it – very helpful and its going to be bed time reading with my daughters over the next few weeks. When we met him very happy and boncy dog and was trying to get the adult GSD in the nearby kennel to play with him. Lots of play bows even though adultGSD very reactive. Wish us luck.
Lori says
I adopted Teddy, a 3-year-old Cocker Spaniel 1-1/2 years ago. I have to say he came into my home a confident dog. He knew to go to the door and “paw” at it to go outside. He got a long with my much bigger lab, although he still won’t play with him, but we’ve always had a peaceful home. I have, however, learned a lot about Teddy over the time I have had him. He is definitely a person dog, doesn’t play with other dogs other than maybe one or two he has met at the dog park, which are smaller than him, but just for a minute. He doesn’t like his back legs touched or stroked, nor his low back and will growl low if you do and will give a louder growl if you continue (maybe some previous injury?) to do so, but to his credit, will move away and has never attempted to bite. He loves to be right next to me on the couch of wherever, but he doesn’t necessarily enjoy a lot of petting. He loves car rides and food and sneaking into the bathroom garbage if he can to take out paper and shred it. I feel very blessed to have Teddy in my life and grateful all has gone well. He has been a bit of a challenge to train as he can be stubborn, but he is coming along and FINALLY will go in a down position without a treat. His leash walking is a work in progress still.
Claudia says
I’m the owner of three rescue dogs. I am a recent subscriber to your FB page and I’m always happy when I see a post. Today I saw one on “three, three, three. I read with great interest and then came upon this,
“The book’s success has been beyond our expectations (it’s sold over 40,000 copies so far) and makes us both all oxytocin-y inside.”
I am very disturbed by your comment, “makes us both all oxytocin-y inside.” I’m still thinking you can’t be describing how one must feel when they take drugs that have become a great societal problem. Please let me know I’m wrong, and what exactly is the point you’re trying to make.
If in fact I am correct in my interpretation I will no longer subscribe to your page and ask that my friends and family don’t either.
Looking forward to a prompt reply,
Claudia Salerno
Amy says
I adopted an estimated two-year-old dog. First three days was her sleeping next to me on the couch. I thought, “Geez, what a mellow dog!” and my brother and sister-in-law explained to me that she was recovering from being a stray/being rescued/being at the shelter and wouldn’t show her true personality for a while. The three weeks would probably be the time she was petrified of the outdoors (which was great for house training NOT). I don’t remember what milestones we reached at three months. We had lingering house training problems for a long time (probably a combination of communication issues and ignorance on my part being a first-time dog caretaker). There were a lot of issues in the beginning, but now after six years, we are in such a good place. Her training is less a product of formal time spent practicing skills, and more a product of our ability to communicate with each other.
Kathy says
We have adopted several older dogs ranging in age from 4 to 13. We are living proof that your “Rule of Three” is so true! The biggest challenge was our sheltie who came out of a hoarding situation at age 6 and spent a year in foster care, learning to be a dog. He came to us when he was 7. Unfortunately, the house training took a bit longer (closer to a year), but he finally got it. Now, at the ripe old age of 20, and wearing a diaper to bed (he can’t get up by himself), he still asks to go out…usually around 3 am, sigh:)
trevor says
I think Claudia might be confusing oxytocin with oxycontin. One is often called the “mothering hormone” and the other is a frequently abused narcotic pain medication. Not the same thing at all.
Cindy Shaw says
I love your insight on dog psychology and am currently helping our eldest daughter’s dog adapt to our family after she moved back home. He is a rescue who has been with her for 6 years and home with us for two months. He is a Jack Russell daschund cross who likes to terrorise some dogs and attach himself to men’s pant legs. He has been accepted into the pack with my Aussie Doodle and Lhasa Apso terrier cross.
I hope Claudia Salerno realises you are talking about the bonding hormone Oxytocin not the synthetic opiate Oxycontin.
My sister shared you book, “The Other End of the Leash” when I first got my doodle. I have been using your insight to build my relationship with him and prevent the leash aggression he sometimes shows. I look forward to your frequent posts.
Em says
I’ve observed that all dogs are different and that adult dogs who transition in to new homes usually take about a year to acclimate, feel comfortable and begin to authentically exist with their new families. The honeymoon time period tends to be when the new family thinks that ‘their dog is so grateful for being saved’ when it is actually ‘their dog is processing the new environment and making sure to please the new humans’. Puppies are a whole different situation depending on where they’ve come from , what their care has been, were they spayed/neutered at 8 weeks the day before they were sent home as well as what breed are they and what is their temperament.
Sheryl says
Claudia,
Perhaps you are thinking of Oxycontin?
Gayla says
Claudia, Oxytocin is naturally occurring and produced by our bodies when we feel good… It’s spelling is similar to the dangerous, synthetic drug you’re referring to. Honest mistake.
Marj says
Claudia,
Oxytocin is a hormone, naturally occurring in our bodies. It’s called the love hormone, or the trust hormone as it is released when we hug or kiss or someone demonstrates affection towards us.
You may have confused it with the painkiller Oxycontin, the hillbilly heroin.
Eileen Fletcher says
Claudia Salerno, if you unsubscribe from this blog, you will be missing out on a huge opportunity to learn from one of the greats due to your own ignorance.
OxyContin – a narcotic pain relieving prescription drug sometimes sold illegally. Oxytocin a hormone and neurotransmitter produced naturally by the body when we hug or kiss, often called the feel good hormone.
I believe Patricia was making a small joke about how happy the number of sales had made her and her colleague. A bit of a nerdy joke 🙂
Karen says
Claudia, are you confusing oxytocin with oxycontin? And while I was looking them up I came across this interesting article.
http://www.examiner.com/article/research-shows-oxytocin-makes-dogs-more-social
Sherle says
Claudia Salerno, you are confusing ‘Oxycontin’ (Oxycodone) the painkiller which can be abused as a recreational drug and ‘oxytocin’ a natural hormone and neurotransmitter produced by the body following certain physical activities such as childbirth.
Layla says
I adopted a 3 and a half Lab+GSD from a local shelter. The shelter volunteer assured us she was a great dog and had absolutely no issues. Upon taking her inside the house she defecated out of fear. I gave her a bath and she was pretty much catatonic during the bath. It took three days for her to ‘unfreeze’, she did not eat or came near us, walking outside was a terrifying experience for her. I discovered she is afraid of just about EVERYTHING. I spent two months at home (luckily I was between jobs) getting her adjusted to her new life/routine. Many walks and bonding exercises. Enrolled her in obedience classes, taught her how to ride in the car, how to play games. As she progressed I enrolled her in agility, swimming classes, doggie day care, dog parks. I’ve gone thru the ‘Protocol for relaxation: behavior modification tier 1’, TTouch sessions, read every book, every blog, and every reference regarding fearful dogs searching for ways to help her. It is a ‘one step forward, one step back’ dance. It has been 18 months of daily work; at times we are both exhausted and frustrated, other times we have breakthroughs. During this time never once it occurred to me to take her back. Fate brought her to me for a reason. Maybe our mark is Three Years.
ABandMM says
@ Claudia,
The “The book’s success has been beyond our expectations (it’s sold over 40,000 copies so far) and makes us both all oxytocin-y inside.” quote refers to the feeling of “aw, soooo cute, goo-goo-gaa-gaa” feeling that one gets when looking at and holding babies, and when petting and cuddling with our four legged companions. Oxytocin is a hormone released by the body, particularly during childbirth, and is referred to as the “bonding hormone”. It is the hormone that makes you feel good.
Long time readers of the blog are familiar with the references that Trisha makes to Oxytocin and how studies (I don’t have the references at hand, but please so a site search for other posts on this blog for oxytocin) have shown that humans petting and cuddling their dogs have an increase in oxytocin levels, which is good, and helps explain that feeling we get when doing that activity.
Trisha, thank you for the reminder of the “3’s”. When I volunteer at the animal shelter, I mention this point to people who are considering adopting one of our dogs (along with mentioning to their kids that they will now have to pick up their shoes and toys!).
I was lucky with my girl Abby that she did indeed settle in very quickly. That may have been facilitated by the fact that she was living in a foster home just prior to me adopting her and that it was just her and me and a very structured life style. I do remember that after a month of having her, we went to my friends house for Thanksgiving weekend and my friend’s (very opinionated) bluetick coonhound barked in her face all weekend long for Abby having the nerve to play with her “younger brother” (a very sociable terrier-mix). Fortunately after that weekend a truce was established and they became friends. Not BFFs, but friendly enough that they could share space together.
I wish I knew about this with my first dog Morgan. I did a few things wrong with her adoption (not horribly, but I would not have taken her to my department science retreat after only one week!) and knowing the “3-rule” would have made things smoother.
Vera Stewart says
I think I know the answer to Claudia’s (above) question regarding
“oxytocin-y” feeling. That’s the warm, mothering feeling a person gets holding a baby. I may not be able to describe it accurately, but it is not the feeling after taking the morphine derivative drug that I think she was thinking it might be.
Hope that makes some sense.
Robin Jackson says
@Claudia,
Oxytocin, not oxycontin. Oxytocin is a naturally occurring hormone in the body which makes us feel good and plays an important role in pair bonding. When we hold a baby, hug someone, and many other caring activities, the oxytocin in our own bodies increases, making us feel good.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/oxytocin
The drug you are concerned about is oxycontin, a prescription painkiller which can be highly addictive. A serious problem, yes, but that’s not what Trisha was talking about.
Joanne says
Claudia…oxytocin is a hormone produced by the human body that is affectionately referred to as the “bonding hormone”.
Trisha says
Oh dear, Claudia, I don’t think you need to worry about a drug addiction. Oxytocin is a hormone produced by the body that promotes social attachment and feelings of warmth toward others. Hope you feel better now!
KCB says
This is a tremendously important topic for dog owners. It took me three dogs to figure some of this out. If you adopt a rescue or an older dog, you need to understand that you won’t see the dog’s needs immediately. Especially housebreaking problems. It doesn’t mean that you can’t resolve these problems; it just means you don’t know what they are until you are committed to an adoption.
Susan says
Claudia, I think you are thinking of “oxycontin”, which is a Schedule II controlled substance, and abused by a great many people.
As Trisha said, “oxytocin” is a feel good hormone produced by the body. Close spelling, but totally different things.
LisaW says
Once again I stand in awe of your grace and the felicitousness of your replies. Mixing up Oxytocin and Oxycodone may be easy to do, but the tone was more accusatory than inquisitive. Maybe someday I’ll have the instinct and subsequent response that you do.
It’s interesting about the threes, many things can be measured in thirds. We have plateaued with the percentage of people who recycle at 33%, the average response to most surveys, large group queries, foundation or donor requests is 33%, and on and on. It’s a great higher math question and seems to fit many different scenarios.
Katie says
Claudia, you are thinking of Oxycontin. Easy mistake to make 🙂
Bonnie says
Oh my, confusing oxytocin and oxycontin! Made me laugh out loud. I adopted Ben, a border collie about 3 months ago, he’s estimated to be 2-1/2 years or so. So mellow, I’ve never had a border collie like him! So far, he’s been perfect with my 15 yr old female BC, very gentle and careful around her…we’re in obedience classes at the SPCA and he’s the star, of course! I’m so glad I found him…can’t believe how lucky I am! Thanks for your wonderful insights and info on all dogs…right now I’m half way through For the Love of a Dog…great reading!
Louise says
Was just going to say to Claudia, don’t worry…… Oxytocin is a hormone that SHOULD be in the body. OxyCONTIN is the drug (pain killer) that leads to addiction and major problems. Also, wanted to say THANK YOU for all the helpful info in this and your other articles / posts / publications / books, etc.. I have been rescuing / rehoming / adopting stray or unwanted dogs (and cats) for over 20 years now (hardly seems possible), and so much of the info you give is SO HELPFUL! That rule of 3’s does seem to apply, in general. I have had some dogs who adapted more quickly, and others who took longer. And one, who, unfortunately, seems to be taking FOREVER to get housebreaking figured out. Then again, he was kept as an outdoor only hunting dog until he was over 7 years old, and had never been inside a house for more than a few minutes, until I got him. And, my situation dictates that he be the opposite…..inside most of the time, with leashed walks for outside time, since I live right next to a busy highway, and can’t afford the massive cost of a fence here. Still, gotta love rescued / adopted animals!
Vivian says
We got a year old husky in May. Such an amazing dog. So sociable to everyone he sees on our million walks. But I really think he suffers from separation anxiety , every time especially I leave the house. I hope it gets better for him soon
Aunt Sam says
I especially appreciate your recommendation to take it slowly introducing one’s dog to new people and/or other dogs in their first few days. So overwhelming for them.
Hi Claudia,
What Trisha said. I think you’re conflating oxytocin with OxyContin. Very different substances.
.
Barbara says
After not having a dog for 35 years (I had German Shepherds) I decided I was finished with horses and wanted a German Shepherd to show in Obedience. I chose a puppy from a well-known breeder just prior to having surgery, knowing I would not be able to bring my puppy home until she was six months old. I thought the breeder would be socializing her but that did not happen. Shame on her. Stupid of me to buy a dog this way. Mindy was essentially housebroken and very sweet. But I was totally unprepared for her extreme dog reactivity. I am a strong woman but when she lunge-barked at a loose dog that was 100 feet away she dragged me to my knees – on concrete no less. I took her lots of places but, not surprisingly, the owners of the dogs she lunge-barked at were not willing to stand still and let Mindy see that they were not a threat. Thus she was “rewarded” because the dogs all left as soon as she barked. I had no idea how to deal with this. When she was nine months old I finally found an obedience class. Mindy knew the basics but in class she alternated between lunge-barking at any dog that moved and crawling under or behind my folding chair. After several classes we were invited not to come back. I started her obedience career in Rally (no group exercises) and she won a lot of ribbons but I had to be so watchful and always stand between her and other dogs. People used to ask me if she was a rescue. I finally got some real help – probably not what positive only trainers would approve of but at least I was safe. The trainer put a pinch collar on her and taught me that Mindy could learn to control her behavior and that my job was to keep her safe by not allowing other dogs to get too close. I used the pinch for several months (which kept me safe) and also gave her a cookie whenever we saw another dog coming. Eventually she no longer needed the pinch collar and would look at me for her cookie every time she saw another dog. She earned her RAE, CD and GN Obedience titles before I quit showing her because the stress of being around other dogs was just too much for her. She is now 6 1/2 years old and is rarely reactive as long as I am somewhat careful. Unfortunately what would have been a brilliant obedience career was cut short because she is so stressed being around other dogs. She enjoys Nose Work and has earned her NoseWork 1 title. And she is a real sweetheart at home where she is happiest.
It was just so hard to get any real help. The four obedience instructors I worked with were not equipped to deal with Mindy’s issues and had no advice on where to go for help.
I brought home my next GSD as an 8 week old puppy. Whether it was age or different breeding, I don’t know, but Miley, who is now three years old, has been a dream to socialize and live with. At obedience trials she naps while people and dogs step over her tail.
I admire all you wonderful people who rescue adult dogs but I don’t think I am equipped to take on that challenge.
Robin Jackson says
When fostering human children, a frequent guideline is that if the child is coming from a healthy environment, it will generally take 6 months in your home for every year prior before the child is fully adapted to the new environment. If the child is coming from an unhealthy environment, double that, so it’s a year for every year.
Of course every situation is unique, and the real point of the guideline is for the adults to accept that every new household member comes with a lot of history, much of which you will never know.
Back when I did dog rescue, one of our most experienced people used to say you can’t know a dog until you’ve been through four seasons with him. Which again was mostly intended to tell people not to be surprised when history you didn’t know about impacts the present. When a rescue dog did something unexpected, she always used to say, “What are you trying to tell us, Dog?” Which I thought was a lovely way of acknowledging that unknown history. 🙂
Jasmine says
I have been adopting adult rescue dogs throughout my adult life and my most recent rescue, Jack, is the most problematic and the most wonderful too. When I brought him home 3 years ago, he was an 8 yo black lab, owner-surrendered from an abusive household, and he took to me immediately but had a little more trouble bonding with my husband. Fortunately my husband is wonderful with dogs, and within three months they were best buddies. Jack was noticeably protective of me, and after about 14 months a young man (accidentally) almost ran me down on the jogging trail, and Jack took him down and bit him badly. This was both very upsetting and very expensive. I now think of my beloved Jack as being like a gun; it is up to me to handle him responsibly, and he is muzzled whenever he is around strangers. Some have asked me righteously why I would dream of keeping a biting dog. My response is that he is the most loving and wonderful dog I’ve had, but he had a history with an abusive man and acted out of that history. And, again, it’s my job to make sure that he doesn’t get a chance to do it again.
Barbara K says
I’ve been fostering a variety of dogs for 10 years and have found when I bring them home, I let the smell around the front yard and pee out there. Then I bring them into the house and out into the backyard/garden (there’s no grass out there). The ones who are very skittish, I use two of the freebie leashes from the vet’s office and link them end-to-end and then attach to the collar. That way if they won’t come when I call them, I can at least get close enough to step on the end of the least. After enough time to “empty the tank” I bring them indoors and leave the leash attached to the collar. They’re free to roam the house and investigate every square inch. I watch them carefully to curtail any attempts to mark but otherwise leave them alone. I give them their space and don’t make any attempts to handle them. The more confident dogs will come to check me out rather quickly but the more timid dogs need more time. I don’t rush them. They’ll come to me when they’re ready…and it works every time.
Some are stressed and don’t eat the first or second day but they’re offered food at every meal. If it’s not eaten within about 20 minutes, I pick up the food. All the dogs are fed separately as I have to know who is eating and who is not. And I do have a couple of “pigs” who gulp down their food and look for someone else’s untouched meal to devour so keeping them separate at meal times is a must in my book.
When I adopt out every dog, I tell the new owners to do the same thing. The few adoptions that have not been successful have been because the humans weren’t listening and “rushed” the dog. I tell them the dog has a lot of work to do when he/she gets to their house so give them some space. NO company, relatives, or n’bors should come over for a “look see” until the dog has been there at least a week to 10 days. Pay attention to the dog and they’ll tell you how much they’re ready to deal with.
Three days…the dog should be warming up to the new owner/foster.
Three weeks…the dog is really fitting in.
Three months…the dog is truly “home.”
Sharon says
Thank you so much for the story of 3’s. When I lost my best furry friend of 12 yrs, I adopted another Sheltie from a reputable breeder. He was 5 months old at the time. I thought that it was my sadness and grief that was the cause of his difficulty with settling in. It has now been 3 months and there is a huge difference with his behaviour. My Vet offered medication to calm him. I am glad that I waited it out.
Lynn says
After reading all the comments by others, I feel that I am not alone with my rescued pibble. He has turned into the most loving dog while in our home with no others here. He is fear aggressive & tries to scare anything away with his ferocious barking, including the microwave popcorn! I had never heard about the 3’s. I look back & can see some that have happened with us. It took 3 months for him to get used to my 19 year old! She was a bit forward with him & he tried numerous times to bite her. He had a lot of odd quirks, which I related to his living-on-the-streets for his 1st 6 months of life. No hats, towels, or anything on your head. no dark glasses. Do not touch the feet. Do not brush. Now…after 2+ years, we can brush him & massage his feet but hats are still a no-no as are dark glasses.
Sue says
Gosh, I love the thought behind the prior quote: “What are you trying to tell us, Dog?”
Most of my adoptees have not had problems; still, as a novice who learned from each, I observed that over time the dog’s personality bloomed. That observational knowledge helped a lot when I had adoptees with issues; and by that point, I knew a lot about what I didn’t know and was able to find good help.
Thanks for the always-helpful post, Trisha.
Sandra Tombu says
I found this very interesting as we have our first rescue dog (got him when he was just 1 year). It’s been 7 months now and we are still working on several issues, but have been pleased with how well he settled in. He loves my husband, but still is very wary of me in the house, but outside he loves to be with me and we go for lots of walks. I knew it would take time, but it’s reassuring to read that we’re on track. Thanks
Maria says
I found your “3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months” to be apt with our rescue, but I’d add “3 years” as well.
Our Papillon rescue came to us at 5 years old having been in a cage for long periods most of her life. She just wasn’t used to “good things” coming from humans (she was fairly well-behaved and cooperative, but her general attitude was that she expected any good thing to happen *despite* humans and somehow stolen or hidden away from humans–she did a lot of hiding behind and under furniture).
It took us about 3 years of consistent positive reinforcement training and unrelenting affection to get through to her that, no, we *didn’t* want to hurt her, and yes, we *did* want her to have fun. After 3 years, she’s suddenly a lot more affectionate than she ever was before. We thought we’d just gotten a standoffish dog that couldn’t stand being petted. Now she actively solicits petting and even voluntarily sits on laps for brief periods (almost a minute at a time!). And the wagging! It’s like someone suddenly flipped the “wag” switch on her tail to the “on” position. 😀
Laura says
hi all,
Robin Jackson, “you can’t know a dog until you’ve been through four seasons with him,” brilliant! As someone who has to bring home a new dog, ideally every 7 to 8 years, this idea of transition is very much at the for-front of my mind. My first dog, transitioned just fine and I was thoroughly spoiled by that. He settled into my home as if he’d been there all of his life, even when we moved to the college dorms three months after bringing him home. The advice I got from classmates as well as instructors when I received my first dog still applies though. I was told to stick with the basics. Try to keep their relieving and feeding routines as similar as possible to how we were doing them in class and try to do some obedience exercises each day, and work them of course. I found, that the work was what grounded us the most in those first few months. it was as if the dog was relieved. “I know what I’m doing, you know what you’re doing and we’re doing it together. This is an unfamiliar place and I know you but not anyone else, but we know how to work together and we can do this.” I’m wondering, has anyone else, who’s brought home a dog they are using for any working purpose, found that the work helps them acclimate to the routine and transition better?
the first transition, for us and the dogs, happens while we’re at the school. The dogs don’t know us, and on “dog day,” everyone is really excited, students and dogs alike. We’re told the dogs might not want to relieve, for example, or they might whine or be a bit restless that first day. We’re also told that they might not be as excited to see us as we are to see them and that we need to just give them time. We are given our dogs in the middle of the afternoon and then allowed the rest of the day to spend time with them. Marlin was, what I would come to know as his usual self. He greeted me calmly and then, just as calmly let me lead him back to our room where I spent an hour petting him. He enjoyed this and then, after feeding and relieving him, he promptly settled down on his rug beside my bed and went to sleep as if he’d been there all of his life.
torpedo was a different matter. First of all, we received our dogs later in the day when it was almost feeding time and so he was hungry and preoccupied by that. He sat on his rug and whined for food. Once I gave it to him, he was better, but he was very aloof and I didn’t get a tail wag from that dog for 2 weeks. Our transition at home was hard too. We moved from my parents home back to the dorms quickly after we returned from training. torpedo’s work was fine, but our relationship took a long time to develop. I was still heartbroken over Marlin’s sudden retirement and, though I liked Torpedo and he liked me, we didn’t love each other then. Seamus was a bit nervous our first day together, but having been through this two times before, I was better able to handle it. I fed him, gave him pets, which he loved and then did something I hadn’t done with either of my other dogs. I gave him a bone to chew on. I think I might offer this to any successor dog I receive because it really helped Seamus relax. He chewed the bone for a while and then stretched out on his rug and did “the sigh.” Lab and golden owners will know which one I mean, that big sigh that says, “Yup… I’m good and relaxed.”
Lastly, I have experienced that transition in threes, as so many have described here. After about 3 days of the same routine in class with the dogs, you can feel them beginning to understand that this is their new routine now and after three weeks, you can tell that they are beginning to bond with you.
em says
Looking back, I think the rule of threes was spot on for us, too, when we adopted Otis. Well, almost- it took about two weeks for him to learn the basic rules of the household and to start to get a grasp on human language. He had no housebreaking incidents after the first few days, but we did approach his training very conservatively, so it was probably three or four months before we started relying on him to ask rather than simply taking him out frequently and whenever he looked restless.
Emotional adjustment took slightly closer to four months. Which is not to say that Otis was causing trouble all of that time- he was always sweet and agreeable, just that it took from late October to the following January, I’d say, for him to truly settle in and begin to show confidence that we wouldn’t ever abandon or turn on him. This confidence came with pluses and minuses, I have to admit. On the plus side, he started relaxing about needing to be immediately near us ( I stopped having to stand in the kitchen with him, eyes averted, while he ate, for instance.) and generally blossomed into the emotionally mature, self-assured companion that he is now, but on the minus side, he was no longer quite so biddable once he lost his anxiety and became sure that we would always love him no matter what. 😉
Sandy’s transition was both faster and slower, in some ways. Faster in the sense that she integrated into our household, our routines and rules, REALLY fast. Two days fast. Not a hint of trouble with housebreaking (she did generalize with no problem), and she only needed to be shown what to do or asked not to do something once. Even negotiating with Otis to determine what kind of play was ok when, where her new relaxing space would be, and what she should do with herself when we weren’t actively doing anything together went super fast. But the other side, the emotional security side, has taken her a lot longer than it took Otis. I’m sure the two things are related, actually.
Sandy is a desperate pleaser- this made her very eager to fit herself into our lives, but it’s rooted in some very profound insecurity, I think. When she first came to us from a relative who was always kind, if not particularly attentive to her, she was extremely loving and physical affection-seeking (she cannot get enough petting and cuddles, will flop onto your lap or press her body into your legs and bump her head under your hands and elbows), but nevertheless she was handshy (not nearly as bad as she had been when she first came to my relative, but bad enough to hurt my heart a little every time I saw her flinch when we moved quickly around her. It took right around three months to get over the physical flinching, but the emotional flinching (dropping her tail and ears, saucering her eyes) every time anyone spoke sharply or animatedly (to or about anything) took much longer. A sharp word in her direction absolutely crushed her. She bounced back easily enough- she wasn’t hard to reassure, she seemed very, very happy indeed whenever she was receiving positive attention, and she absolutely THRIVED on our daily off-leash walking- after only a few months, when we were out on the trail, and she was hunting/sniffing/running/wrestling, she became a different dog- a happy, secure and independent dog who could hear and respond to a hollered instruction with her tail and head high, who could take charge of her own choices and solve her own problems (how will I get to the other side of this fence/creek/fallen log? Should I go up to that dog or not?) without anxiety.
Still, even with the constant practice, it took around eighteen months before we started to see her social anxiety starting to dissipate at home. After that length of time, I can’t be sure whether we’re seeing her emotionally adjusting to our household or just plain getting older and calmer. Whatever the reason, she is starting to show some signs of lessened emotional reactivity and greater security, and her appeasing responses to minor upsets have lessened tremendously. I don’t think she’ll ever have the bone-deep security that Otis enjoys, but she is much, much better.
I don’t meant to give the impression that Sandy was a difficult case or anything- her responses were quite subtle and her behavior has been as good as gold from day one, and her tendency to appease and defer to the humans seems to be very much a part of her essential nature. Still, it makes me happy to see her acting more secure, more and more certain that nobody’s mad at her, we’re never going to abandon her, and nothing bad will happen.
p.s. One last anecdote! I remembered, just now, about a significant shift I noticed in Sandy’s behavior right around the three month mark. We adopted her from a relative. She wasn’t abused in her previous home, but she did live quite a limited life- a lot of chaotic activity, but very little opportunity for exercise or mental stimulation compared to the level she really needs. Moving to our home was like moving to dog Disneyland for her- a quiet household with gentle-spoken adults who had plenty of time to pay attention to her, lots of walking, a fenced yard to play in, a raw diet to enjoy, a dog companion to play with and reassure her, lots of people and dogs to socialize with.
Because she came from a relative, we do see her former owners regularly. The first time they met at my mother’s house (a neutral location) after we adopted Sandy (perhaps six weeks after the adoption), Sandy acted very uncharacteristically. She was noticeably avoidant- she typically goes bananas when she sees people that she knows and loves but doesn’t see often. This time did not want to approach her former owners, and even when she did, she greeted without fear, but briefly and without much enthusiasm before she immediately glued herself to my side. When it was time to go, rather than dilly-dallying as she usually does (she and Otis love Grandma and Grandma’s house), she dashed for the car door and leapt inside. I felt a little bad about the interaction, to be honest, because she so obviously didn’t want anything to do with her former owners.
The next time we met, however, after another six weeks or so had gone by, Sandy was a totally different dog- she joyfully greeted her former owners, wagging and wiggling and doing her little whine-grunts of happy greeting, just as I had expected her to do the first time. When it was time to go, she had absolutely no confusion- she beelined to us, rather than tagging after them, but the anxiety that she showed on their first meeting was gone. So despite being a work in progress in some ways, it seemed clear to me that something had clicked for Sandy right around three months in – she seemed to accept that she was a permanent part of our family.
Robin Jackson says
@Laura,
To this day, 6 years into his working career, work calms Dilly. If, say, plumbers or carpenters or roofers are working in the house and he is feeling stressed by the noises and smells and many people coming and going, the quickest way to calm him down is to start giving him work to do! Especially mentally challenging work. Things like bringing in the mail, or finding my purse in an unknown location somewhere in the house, or even undoing the straps on my leg braces all quickly move him from that, “Hey! What’s going on here? This is weird!” state to the “OK, I get it, let’s get to work” state which is very calming for him.
Leslie McDevitt, author of CONTROL UNLEASHED, often says “Dogs love to know what happens next.” She uses Pattern Games with a lot of unsettled dogs where you set up a quick repetitive pattern and let the dog relax into it. Something as simple as count 1, 2, 3 and treat. Or take two steps and treat. Or tap your knee twice and treat. And repeat 20 or 30 times until the dog starts to feel in control again and relaxes.
As you mention, many times we are the single point of certainty for the dog in a whirl of chaos. We can extend that by familiar behavior on their part.
For working dogs, as you described so well, sometimes giving them a few wellknown tasks will add that extra certainty.
For pet dogs with a lot of training, a few quick Sits and Downs can serve the same purpose.
Even for a brand new rescue dog with no prior training, one of McDevitt’s Pattern Games can help very quickly. Two steps and treat, or two taps on your knee and treat, repeated multiple times, helps the dog understand that you are a reliable source of good stuff, no matter how new everything is.
McDevitt argues that dogs like the anticipation almost as much as the treat itself, and that for many dogs in many situations two steps and treat repeated multiple times is MORE comforting than just a steady stream of treats. “Dogs like to know what’s coming next.”
It’s a very interesting perspective, and one that I have found very practical as well.
Vicki in Michigan says
I was surprised to read “three months” and agreed when I read “one year.” 🙂
Each of my last two dogs came home when he was one year old. One was a failed show dog, who’d had lots of interaction with other dogs, but limited interaction with people. He was polite, but oblivious, mostly , with people. He was used to being messed with (cut nails? No problem), but had no idea that the “blah blah blah” coming from people’s’ mouths might be interesting to him.
The other was stray for the first year of his life, as far as we know. He is a cautious optimist — he hopes for the best, from people and dogs, but is ready to remove himself from any situation if things start looking dicey. Cut nails? No way. He, too, was oblivious to the good things he might learn from listening to human speech.
I believe it took each of them a full year to integrate into our household. A full year before I didn’t feel like I had to keep checking on them to see what they were up to, etc. A full year before they knew it would be good to pay attention to what the monkeys were were saying, and that banana bits were edible, and that when they rode away from our house in a car, they would be riding right back to that same house, after a while……..
Your message that things don’t happen overnight, and that working through what comes up takes time and patience is really important!
Char says
I adopted my Misty when she was one and a half. I was told she had belonged to an older woman who couldn’t take care of her anymore. I myself am an older woman and she took to me almost immediately. At the shelter, I sat quietly until she came to me and after bringing her home she was on my lap anytime I sat down. At first she was terribly afraid and trembled; I don’t remember how long it took her to get over that. She also followed me everyplace, didn’t want me out of her sight. I’ve had her for 2 yr and 9 mo now and she goes into other parts of the house when I’m busy. She is very well behaved with me except that she bark-lunges at anything or anybody that moves. I think that she had never been socialized and I’ve accepted that she probably never will be. She feels safe in her crate, so when I have people over I put her there. Also she evidently didn’t know how to play when I got her. I made a soft toy out of socks and she would chase it and bring it to me, but wouldn’t play with anything else. She now has 2 stuffed animals that she plays with for just a few minutes. She’s scared to death of a ball, even if I just roll it slowly toward her. She loves to go for walks and is getting easier to control on a leash but I do have to hold on tight when a car comes by. But maybe the 3 yrs will be a turning point. I do hope so.
SBG says
I have never brought a new pet into my home without having panicked remorse at some point in the first couple of weeks. And then as you say, you suddenly notice it’s getting better and better. People’s expectations are so off wack, this is such a wonderful blog post.
Meg Griffin says
I adopted my maltese poodle cross in November 2011. I was told she was 4 years old. We had a bit of trouble for the first couple of weeks but then I found a trainer and also took her to dog obedience school and we have not looked back. She is extremely clever so learning new things was no problem at all. She is also extremely affectionate and is always on my lap when I sit down. I love my Bella to bits and would not be without her. She has fitted in beautifully with Bonnie a 16 yo Jack Russell.
Heidi Meinzer says
One of my best friends just adopted a 10-year old hound mix from a couple who moved overseas. She’s very sweet but lived a very sheltered life. I gave him a copy of Love Has No Age Limit, and he found it invaluable!
When we were looking for a second dog in our household, we opted for a puppy to help my reactive and skittish GSD mix. We went with a lab from a breeder who breeds for Virginia Service Dogs, and he was the perfect fit from day one! I do love the senior dogs, though!
HFR says
I’ve never adopted an older dog so this discussion is so interesting to me.
I do know a couple people who have similar experiences but the behavior unfortunately went in the other direction. One woman adopted a “junkyard dog” and clearly the dog had a very isolated life before she got him. But he was super friendly’ wiggly-butted dog for the first 3 weeks or so. Slowly as the dog got more and more comfortable a different, uglier side starting to appear. He became very protective of her and started to growl when others approached her. She hired a trainer/ behaviorist to help but the dog was getting worse. The trainer told her that now that the dog felt more at home, he felt that this was his territory to protect. Finally the dog attacked a Chinese food delivery man and she knew she had to do something. I’ve list touch with her but the last I saw her she was keeping him muzzled pretty much all the time.
I know someone else who had a similar story, but fortunately not so extreme. What appeared to be
HFR says
Sorry. Accidentally hit post too early. Sorry for all the typos, didn’t get a chance to proof it.
To continue. What appeared to be a friendly dog showed signs of aggression as she became more settled. Just wondering if anyone has had that experience and if there is the “real” personality to either side or if both sides are part of their whole temperament.
Nic1 says
Oh Gosh…I’m sorry, but I just cracked up at Claudia’s comment when I first read it. You see, I’m the other way around – I had never heard of oxycontin but I had most definitely heard of oxytocin…
And anyway, cuddling your dog IS a bit addictive and gives you a mild ‘high’ – it would be a fairly accurate, if provocative, analogy if Trisha HAD written oxycontin-y.
Once again, your grace in these matters Trisha is humbling….
I had a great initial experience adopting my dog as she was excellent in the house. She honestly took about three weeks to settle in to her house routine. I have to say, that is to her credit and stoic nature as I was an inexperienced owner and had limited knowledge at the time. It wasn’t until we started to take her to new environments and exposed her to other animals that we realised we had some challenges – mostly lack of socialisation, reactivity and predatory issues.
Unfortunately, we probably also inadvertently flooded her on occasions, quite possibly creating further problems for her. The following year was difficult and included a conversation about returning her to the shelter…. This was even after consulting the vet and a ‘professional’ dog trainer and realising that something inside me didn’t trust what I was hearing, but I couldn’t articulate it because I didn’t have the knowledge or experience…I then started watching ‘The Dog Whisperer’ on advice from someone who also had dogs….It was then that I realised that I had to trust my gut and get researching…
A couple of months intense research and I found Trisha, Sophia Yin and the APDT….and finally breathed a sigh of relief…here were people who actually had tools, experience, education, love and respect for dogs and could communicate it wonderfully.
Trisha – ‘Feisty Fido’ was quite literally a life saver. 🙂 It will always be a special book because of the beautiful way it taught both me and my dog to and finally enjoy our walks together as opposed to dreading them! Thank you so much.
Laura says
At Robin Jackson,
Thanks for the reply. I’m glad to know my observations are shared by others who have working dogs. Also, what a great idea for people who have brought home a new rescue, to do some pattern games with them. I’m sure it’s very grounding. One other point I’d like to mention as well from your earlier post, the quote about the four seasons with a dog. I’ve found, that Winter up here, is another period of transition for my dogs. Only one of my dogs had ever seen snow before I brought him up north from temperate California. The inicial reaction to snow can be funny. Torpedo stuck his nose in a drift and sneezed, then decided it was great fun and began to do laps around me at top speed. Marlin taught him quickly that rolling in the snow and eating and chasing snow balls was awesome, but there’s another side to it and the two reactions blended well in Seamus.
I’d brought Seamus home in late September so we had a month or two of no snow left in the Fall. then, the weekend after Thanks Giving, the snow hit while I was in a Target on Saturday morning. We walked outside and Seamus stopped after a few steps. My sister began to laugh and I asked her what Seamus was doing. She said he was squinting his eyes shut and trying to bite the snowflakes as they drifted down. We managed to get to the car all right, but on my walk home from my sister’s place, Seamus became useless as a working guide for the moment. He kept pausing and picking up his feet. He was so slow and poaky that I at last just put down the harness handle and heeled him the rest of the way home. That four inch snow-fall was the most we got that winter and I was relieved. We had another year of solid work under our belts before the next year’s snow came around and by then, Seamus had been there, done that. He just walked through the snow as if it were no big deal, guiding me around huge snow mounds created by plows like a seasoned pro. Snow drasticly changes the environment for both a handler and the dog. Believe me, if you’ve ever struggled to find a tiny path from a curb to the street between two mounds of packed, icy snow, it’s much, much easier with a dog than a cane. However, the dogs have to adjust to that and so it’s always helpful to bring a dog home in the Spring, Summer or early fall if you live in a place with four distinct seasons. If you have a good working bond and a routine established, the transition to the snow will go a lot smoother. Robin, have you experienced this? i’m curious how snow is for you as a service dog handler who is in a wheelchair? I can’t imagine how difficult curbs must be in all that mess.
Slimdoggy says
We’ve adopted three senior over the last few years and certainly found interesting personality traits over time. Our latest, also a Maggie, was so fearful…which we discovered those first three days. After a few months she did settle into a routine although there were times when we considered giving her back to the rescue she seemed so unhappy and so afraid of my husband. Now, at two years, she is finally starting to act normal, finding fun in her yard, running around, etc. Another year and she will be a full-fledged dog I hope!
Donna in VA says
Love all the interesting comments. Max was 4 when I adopted him. I was very ignorant and he has given me a great learning experience. I don’t think I made any big mistakes in the beginning, although I had to take him to a professional groomer on the 2nd or 3rd day, he smelled awful and I was not capable of trying to brush and groom him myself. Our routine was generally very quiet and involved me taking him out on leash a LOT – generally every time he asked. We adjusted the routine gradually to AM & PM walks and before-bed pee outing. I really do try to keep the routines predictable even if we are traveling or staying elsewhere. In the 2nd or 3rd year he did have some middle-of-the night housebreaking problems that were solved by leashing him to the bed at night for a few weeks and treating for outside business. During the 1st year he did become dog-reactive (about 80%) which I started addressing with the help of a trainer and continue to provide positive reinforcement for good behavior around other dogs. He is down to very occasionally reacting to a strange dog. In fact we successfully attended a dog “birthday party” on Saturday with about 20 other dogs and no problem.
Kat says
@HFR, Yes, sometimes you bring home what you think is one thing and discover that the real dog is something else entirely. That’s the case with our Finna. At the shelter and for the first few weeks at our house she was shy and timid but then she showed us who she really is and earned her nickname Psycho Bitch from Hell. She was raised by animal hoarders and lacked even the most basic socialization (truly if I’d known then what I know now I doubt we would have had the courage to bring her home). Terrifyingly smart, 120% drive, protective, and determined to manage her world to the best of her ability with the only tools she had, ferocious barking and her teeth. We’re about 2.5 years into this roller coaster adventure and I’m proud to say she is making steady progress in becoming the dog she should have been. That’s the good news, the bad news is that the progress is measured in millimeters. I’m training her to perform service dog tasks like finding things and bringing them to me, picking things up for me, etc. because she loves to help. Currently we’re working on putting digging on cue so she can dig holes for me to use for planting. She desperately needs something to do–did I mention VERY high drive? Yesterday was a banner day, after 2.5 years she voluntarily laid down outside next to the chair where I was sitting. We’d been tossing the ball around alternating with brushing and she was sitting waiting for me to throw the ball again and I was thinking that I was practicing making her wait/impulse control when instead of staring longingly at the ball she snapped at a bug and then laid down! Hours and hours of training, copious amounts of reading looking for every clue that might help her, working with a BAT trainer and celebrating every tiny milestone, that’s life with Finna.
Marjorie says
I got my first Cavalier at 15 months. She had lots of dog socialization and not enough people socialization. It took a good 3+ years with lots of work and positive training for her to relax with new people. There are times when we still have issues. My 2nd Cavalier is a retired breeding dog and I got her at 3 yrs & 3 month of age. She had previously been shown, lived in a home with other dogs, so was people and dog savvy. However, she was not used to the amount of freedom she now enjoys. I remember the first night, it was like a PJ party gone wrong, the kind you want to call the parents to come pick up their kids. She had probably always slept in a crate and I let her sleep on the bed with me and my other dog. Well, no one got any sleep. She was also drunk on freedom that first year. We had more than our share of trips to emerg., but now she is reliable off leash and has settled in very well. I have to agree though, a year is a good measure of time for settling in. I also agree that working your dog calms them. They need information they know how to respond to, and it teaches them self control.
Trisha says
I’ve been reading (and posting) your comments all throughout the days, but have been in one of those work tunnels (Sparcs talks) in which you barely come up for air. But very interesting comments, thank you so much for them.
To Layla: Your fearful dog is a lucky one indeed for you to be so patient. 18 months is indeed a long time, but I have seen dogs turn around at 2 yrs, or even 3. And some never do, but we learn to live with it better. Yeah for you for giving this dog such a great home!
To LisaW: Love your comment about ‘3’s’ in other contexts. Hummm, beyond my scope of knowledge, who knows the magic numbers used in art and all kinds of other fields. 3? 7?
To Vivian with a dog with Sep Anx: Try reading “I’ll be Home Soon” (can get as a Kindle or booklet) and see if that helps. Good luck!
Trisha says
To Barbara, and your problematic experience with the reactive GSD: There are lots of truly easy, calm dogs in rescues, don’t let the category turn you off. For example, my Tootsie was in a puppy mill for 7 years, and is the most easy going, docile dog imaginable, while Willie was purchased from a good breeder as a pup and was my dog “with issues” for years.
To Maria: I hear you about “three years.” I have found that about one year is a huge anniversary; so much that we take for granted takes so much time to teach. And yes, yes, three years for some dogs for sure. I think of what Willie knows now at 7+, and what he knew at 1 versus 4, and there is a big, big difference. Sort of like being on a job for one year versus three. Who is more experienced?
To Nic1: So glad that the Feisty Fido booklet was so useful. Music to my ears! But you did the work, so congratulations to your for your stamina and patience.
And to em: Fascinating story about the dog avoiding the previous owners the first time around, and then greeting them enthusiastically the second. I suspect your guess is exactly correct: First time was “Oh no, I want to stay with em! Go away,” and second was “I know I’m with em permanently now, you are no threat, happy to say hi.” I had the same thing happen to me with my cat Sushi. I had her for over 10 years when my allergies became so bad that I couldn’t let her sleep with me (as I had before), cuddle on the couch, etc etc. She came as an aloof cat but became very cuddly over the years, but I had to stop petting and cuddling her. In addition, Willie loved to herd her. I managed it, but it was still tiresome. She ended up in the home from heaven, and the first time I went to see her she ran away from me. Broke my heart in a way, but made me very, very happy that she clearly loved it where she was, where she could go back to sleeping on beds and laps. Second time I came to visit she behaved differently, and the more I see her the happier she is to say hello.
Robin Jackson says
@Laura,
I live in the San Francisco Bay Area; no snow. I do have wheelchair-dependent friends in Canada and Minnesota, so obviously it can be done. 🙂
Short answer–somewhat easier for manual chairs than power chairs. Power chair users mostly just go door to door (or covered walk to covered parking garage).
For manual chair tips, see the EasyStand blog article:
http://blog.easystand.com/2010/01/survive-a-minnesota-winter-from-your-wheelchair-and-live-to-tell-about-it/
helen says
I just discovered this site and I love it! I have two Brittanies who are the loves of my life . One I purchased from the breeder when he was a puppy he is 12 now and has always been a dream high energy but a Britt the second was 5 when she was returned to the breeder because the family was divorcing and couldn’t keep her. I met 2 years ago in Oct and for the first 6 months she fit in perfectly and was a perfect playmate and best friend to my older guy. Then came May and our first Thunderstorms and experiences with fireworks she hid, shivered panted and was worked up into such a complete panic that even hours later she was still shivering.. I had no clue that she would react that way to a storm or had any noise phobia’s. I had been so relaxed with her because she seemed so perfect that I had forgotten I didn’t know everything about her. I wish there had been some warnings so I could have been prepared
Ellen Heinemann says
This is so great. I asked on your Facebook post and am asking again if we (a small rural shelter that I’m a volunteer and board member of) could print this with of course credit to you and hand it out to adopters. Love Has No Age Limit is on our wish list and we lent out our copies but this would be something everyone could have.
Thanks, I appreciate all you do.
Laceyh says
to HFR: Yes, as a foster I’ve had such an experience. The worst for me was one of my later foster dogs. He appeared to be a typical mildly shy case, like many I’ve done well with. This one, however, after about two weeks settling time, began to show aggression toward people (including me, though nothing I couldn’t handle). However, instead of improving he became worse, to the point that I couldn’t expect to find an adoptive placement. After considerable soul-searching and consultation, I gave up on him. I’m very lucky this experience didn’t happen earlier in my foster career.
Laura says
At Robin Jackson,
thanks for the blog article. I’ll read it. What do you know, I get my dogs from your neck of the woods. Well, more like Marin county, but we’re in Sanfransisco a lot. You probably know Guide Dogs for the Blind, (GDB) The city is beautiful, especially when it’s sunny and clear. the dogs love it though. There’s something about the cooler air that seems to get them all perked up and full of energy. For me, there’s nothing like sitting down, enjoying the rush of endorphins you get after a good walk and workout with your dog. I remember the last time I was there, sitting down with a hot mocha in my hand enjoying the cool, moist, salty air. I felt then, the warm, fuzzy weight of Seamus’s head on my foot. I bent down to pet him and felt the big, relaxed sigh lift his rib cage beneath my hand. I could feel our bond really beginning then, could feel us begin to click as a team. I knew it would work, that we’d be good partners together. Has anyone who’s brought home their rescue or puppy felt that? I can imagine, if things have been difficult, that realization must be a relief.
Great comments so far 🙂
Susan says
I’m the proud Momma to 4 rescue dogs. My 2 boys came to me with severe anxiety (one was rescued from death row in a kill shelter) but they bonded the minute they saw each other and have now calmed each other but the first few months they chewed and destroyed! Crating or confinement would only make them worse, in fact, the 1 had previously been adopted and returned to the rescue for that very reason but now they love their crates and go to lay in them on their own and they are beautiful loving boys I’ve had them 2 years now.
My other 2 were former puppy mill breeding girls with a whole host of issues at 7 years old! It IS like getting a 7 year old puppy! 1 I had almost 2 years before I added the 2nd one which I fostered then kept. Poor thing had 4 prior foster families and was adopted and returned after 4 months! Can you imagine being passed around that many times to different homes? I wasn’t sure I was going to keep her because she just wasn’t settling in or bonding and she was urinating on my other puppy mill girl…. she came to me in Nov and then in February it finally clicked and I adopted her. They are doing well considering their start to life but still have emotional and physical issues from being held prisoner for 7 years and they probably always will but they are now enjoying life so much more.
So it can be done and I think you are spot on with the 3’s!
Jen says
>Susan, June 13, 2014 at 7:56 am, wrote:
>…one was rescued from death row in a kill shelter…
Dear Susan,
Thank goodness that you intervened, saved your dogs’ lives, and are providing such an understanding and supportive environment to them.
I suppose I’m just responding a bit to the reference to ‘kill shelter’… personally, those are the only shelters I will work with (volunteer for, adopt from, donate to, etc.), as I’ve found that the alternative, ‘no-kill’rescues/shelters, are not organizations I can support (due to their turning away dogs and other pets, who have no where else to go).
Folks supporting and working within ‘high-kill’ shelters do not want to see animals die any more than you and I do, but are grappling with the inherently challenging numbers game, of available dogs (and cats!), vs. available homes.
More to the topic of this posting, I agree with you completely about the 3’s! Both of my beloved dogs (from high-kill municipal shelters) seemed to encounter, and thankfully overcome, challenging milestones at 3 years. (They weren’t yet in my care at 3 weeks or 3 mos).
best wishes,
Jen
LisaW says
If one subscribes to Malcolm Gladwell’s idea that 10,000 hours of appropriately guided practice is “the magic number of greatness,” or in a dog’s case, settling in, feeling comfortable, responding to requests, which can be called great, and the appropriate guidance (not necessarily training per se) is offered ~9 hours a day, that equals just about 3 years! Just playing with the numbers, it’s interesting to see if there are any patterns.
Jill says
Thank you for this blog and for all the insightful comments. It is providing support to me and Lucy, our Aussie/BC rescue. She is probably near 3 years old and has been living with us for 9 months. She is reactive to dogs and strangers. She is making progress daily, but I still get afraid of her behavior toward people. She has nipped one woman twice (who was able to get in her face before I could intervene.) I have found a positive trainer who is helping to teach me the skills I need to protect her and others.
She, too, was vetted by the foster organization as good with all… people, dogs, cats, children. For the first three weeks that was true. Then she began to emerge. She is a wonderful companion to my husband and I. We have a great time walking, but I can’t trust her with other people and it’s hard to accept that may always be the case.
But I believe she was put in our path for a reason.
Sarah at LolaThePitty.com says
Great post and so true. We go through this a lot with foster dogs, but many times they don’t even have time to adjust before they are then adopted – it’s a lot to go through for a dog and some people wonder why they aren’t perfectly well behaved(!?).
And I had to laugh about your “puppy remorse” – because I think we all experience this! I know we sure did, but of course wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world.
SueBer says
I found this timely thread after bringing a new 7 month old puppy home (female). Our resident dog (male), Murphy, is about 4. When we adopted Murphy, we already had an older female and they bonded quickly. We lost her in April. It has been a week now and I’m wondering if this is going to work. Murphy always loved to meet the neighborhood dogs on walks. He came to us not knowing how to play as he was dumped at a shelter with several other dogs by a breeder going out of business. He is fearful of people but never in an aggressive way. He picked up play by watching his big sister play with our son’s dog when he visited and played with her at times. Since the new pup arrived there has been some growling (over one particular chew, when the puppy tried to play, and of me when Murphy and I are on the couch). The chew “disappeared”and she picked up on his growl and backed off. Murphy is basically ignoring the puppy but as she is coming out more she wants to engage Murphy in play. She will bark at him and he will growl if she gets too close. She gets the message and backs down. They seem to do well (although no interaction on Murphy’s part) on walks twice a day. Over the weekend (3 times) and last night (once), Murphy pooped in the house. He has been totally house trained until this. This morning he refused to eat, did not potty on the morning walk, and vomited once when we returned. Another interesting thing to me is that Murph has always been a marker on any other dogs pee but he will not mark the new pups – he sniffs and walks away. I’m wondering if we made a mistake in getting a puppy and want to give them both the best home they can have. She was picked up as a stray by our humane society, pulled by a rescue organization and we brought her home two days later. I worry that Murphy is really anxious and will not be able to adjust to a puppy.
Joan Kutz says
Well,
I have just spent 3 hours skimming our blogs. Wow! I have taken only rescued dogs for 47 years. I have placed many and usually keep those that have trouble. I love dogs. In 2010 I took a mixed breed pup who crawled on her belly only. She had been abandoned at a city park. She is beautiful and sweet. There are people around these parts who can help me with all her problems except one. She kills birds. She leaps in the air so quickly and grabs them if they are flying low to the ground. I suspect this is how she ate and survived for awhile. The problem is that I attract wild birds about as badly as I attract stray dogs. I have removed the water from my back yard and quit putting out feeders. My neighbors have taken that up, but my birds still drop by to say hello. None of my other dogs have had this problem. Any tips.
Janet Warner says
My husband and I adopted Simba 3 months ago. But, (and I feel very guilty over this), we did not pick him up from the Shelter for a month as it was in our hometown and we stupidly thought it wouldn’t matter too much. I ended up getting him and living with my sister and her family and dog for 2 weeks. He had kennel cough when we picked him up which dispite my bet efforts it turned into pneumonia . Thank God for vet #2. Vet #1 assumed it was lung worm.
He loves me (obsessively) and is getting used to my husband. My sister is coming to visit with her husband and I am going to leave him at a posh dog kennel for 2 nights. Don’t know if that will set him back….
The last 2 days and dispite having taken him for walks and letting him outside he has peed in my house. Once on a piddle pad we just keep in the living room, just in case, and once on the dining room tile floor. He doesn’t seem to empty his bladder on walks, he thinks its make of gold I guess, and wants to save it. He does empty out at his 10pm pee. (It may be because we are also putting Trex on our back deck, that he loves and does not have access to….)
Just reading your stories makes me laugh and not take it all so personally. There are days when I feel I gave up a lot for this dog and I have to start having a life too.
Jodi says
Thank you! We just brought home a mini Aussie foster and we’ve been trying to introduce it to our resident mini Aussie of 3 years. The first day was filled with “What have we done?” especially since our resident Aussie was really anxious. Now we are day 3 together and we were able to do our first walk of the morning without any barks from our resident Aussie, they’re walking together stupendously on leash together and we’re starting to see moments of glimpses of the foster Aussie’s personality. While we know it’s been a super short time, we’re also seeing less intermittent moments of jealousy from our resident Aussie.
Your article just helps to validate our anxieties and know we’re on the right path, while reminding us we still have a way to go and not to get upset… thanks again!
A.J. says
My roommate has an 8 year old dog that was rescued and had an abusive past. I moved my dog in after 3 months of living with them ( we introduced them before over the holidays and all was well). So far it’s been one whole week of living together. My roommate’s dog is not trained to eat his food immediately so he just picks from the bowl throughout the day. My dog walked into her room and began eating his food (mine has limited feeding times). I went to get her to stop and as my dog walked out of the room, my roommate’s dog walked in and my dog growled and pounced. No dog was injured, and she never bit him. My roommate accused my dog of being aggressive. I told her my dog has never interacted like that with another dog before. I bring my dog to the dog park daily, and she’s just playful and never gets into scuffles with other dogs. Her dog doesn’t like dog parks and doesn’t interact well with others. How do I explain to her what is happening? Also, will things really ease up in 2 more weeks or do you think that her dog just naturally won’t get accustomed to my dog being a hyper 2 year old?
lindsey says
Hi! I need some advice! I just got a 1 year old male Maltese just yesterday…he has been in 2 homes just in this past month….he is very aggressive toward men. At the same time he will lay and sleep in our laps and let us pet but we can’t pick him up from the floor without him snapping!
Enrique says
Hi!! Thanks for your post and book they are very helpful.
I have a quick question: in your experience, is it a good idea that the dog,s old owners visit the dog regularly at the dogs new house and family?
Best
Enrique
J.R. Denman says
By the way, I loved “The Other End of the Leash,” and I’ve dragged out all of the books I bought that helped with my late schnauzer to see what will apply to my pup, not four months and one week old.
Kimberly Schaff says
I have an important question . There are now 4 dogs in our household. Two of them are two 7 mo mini schnauzers from the same litter and one of the other two is the mother to the pups. So the pups have been with us from day 1 they all get along really well. My oldest son came home for a visit we are in CA. he in Wyoming would like to take one of the pups with him how hard is this going to be on that path to be all of a sudden a single pet? Because he’s been so used to being around his sister his mother and his aunt?
Jenny says
Thank you so much for the helpful information. Three weeks ago my mom adopted a 4 year old male Golden Retriever and introduced him to our household where we have two resident Golden Retrievers, one male and one female. Prior to getting this new male dog, our two resident Goldens got along famously. They both have a very goofy, happy-go-lucky personality and they play with each other often. They never show aggression and get along with all other dogs that they have encountered. For this reason, we thought adding another Golden to the mix would work out just fine. Unfortunately, the new 4 year old (un-neutered) male that we just adopted has a much different personality than our two happy Goldens. The breeder described him as “reserved” however he mostly seems to be extremely anxious. He’s a velcro dog to my mom and has horrible separation anxiety when she goes outside or leaves for even a second. But most concerning, he has been aggressive with both our two silly/goofy/harmless resident Goldens. We usually have a big basket of toys that the dogs pick from throughout the day and share, however this new dog is possessive with the toys and has attacked our dogs when they get close. Our dogs have never encountered this type of behavior and don’t know any better, so they continue to show interest in what toy the new dog has and they try to engage in play with him. We’ve had to put up all the toys to avoid the risk of the new dog attacking one of our resident dogs. We’ve tried to reintroduce toys slowly, but the new dog continues to show aggressive body language such as staring, stiffness, lunging at the toys, snarling and attacking. This behavior seems to be unpredictable too, because sometimes the new dog will show no interest in the toys and we’ll think he’s getting better, and then other times he just attacks with no warning. We’re concerned that maybe our household isn’t a good fit for this dog, and maybe he would do better in a household where he is the only dog. We’ve heard that neutering him may help, however we’re fearful that if we have him neutered, but his behavior doesn’t improve, the breeder won’t take him back because he’s been neutered. We just don’t know what to do, we were so excited to adopt this new dog and now feel so disappointed that the dynamic isn’t working out. We’re wondering if this type of behavior can be treated or if we should return the dog to the breeder so that she can find him a home where he can be the only dog.
Sara says
Thank you SO MUCH for writing this – it has helped me immensely!! I just adopted a 5 yr old mini dachshund, and she did great for the 1st week, but then all of a sudden decided she is too scared to leave my bedroom, and that she will only potty inside the house. The biggest help in this article was the bit about “adopters’ remorse” – here I was thinking I’m a terrible person for starting to wish I had never gotten her, but it seems I am not alone! I’m not giving up on her, it’s only been a couple of weeks. I’m just tired of cleaning up poop. That’s why I didn’t want a puppy lol. Anyway, thank you for the encouraging article – I just need to remember to stay patient with her and I think we will be fine.
Jc says
I have had a rescue dog for three days now. She is very calm and sweet. Maybe too calm! She treats us with politeness, but not with real liking! She won’t play much and her tail is always down. I was really feeling buyers remorse today! I already have teens that ignore me now the dog does too! I am going to stick it out and hope it gets better!
Gail says
I just read what JCwrote 3/13/18 & I ha e the same problem. A month ago I adopted a 5 year old standard poodle raised in a kennel . She is getting less skittish & loves her walks but could care less to socialize with me in the house. Having had previous standarcs( all raised from pups the last one the oldest at 10 months I am not use to being so ignored! Mostly they stick like Velcro. Also she is frightened of humans. Hoping this will improve. Ant suggestions would be helpful. She is not food motivated so teaching commands will be a challenge be.
Jess says
So I have a question to check my brain against someone experienced with dogs. I’m looking into rehoming a sweet 3 yo female Irish Wolfhound from CA to OK. I’ve been searching for an Irish Wolfhound for a long time and done alot of research on them–so I’m over the moon excited I’ve found one free-to-a-good-home–however my gut is screaming at me THAT the shipping of this pup alone would possibly be enough to kill her, besides the climate change, and her age. Please someone bolster my decision with their expertise? Please convince me that I should pass up on this poor pup to someone who lives much closer to her than I do; because my fur-mama heart hurts for her. TIA!
Melissa McCue-McGrath, CPDT-KA says
Hi Jess,
“Free To Good Home” is a red flag for me as a dog trainer if students ask about it. For starters, my first thought would be, “why?” Is it because they truly don’t have space, time, or a big life change? That’s one thing. But there are two sides to consider: The person giving the dog away and the person receiving the free dog.
The person giving the dog away: If this is a purebred Irish Wolfhound, why isn’t the first place they go is back to the breeder who sold the dog? A responsible breeder should/would always take back the dog for any reason.
Maybe it’s a Petstore or a less-reputable situation, so maybe they can’t go back to the breeder – but it’s worth considering.
If this was a rescued Irish Wolfhound at some point, or even if it’s not, why isn’t the dog going to Irish Wolfhound Rescue? Promoting the dog as Free To Good Home poses several risks to the dog and the current owner might not be aware that people scan for free dogs for many troubling reasons too upsetting to list here.
Extra risky for the dog is if potential owners tend not to be screened by “Free To Good Home” posters. I’ll spare the horror stories about where some of these dogs do end up but keep in mind not all end up in horrible places. Some end up with people like you who are trying to do their research which is great, but not all do. It’s risky for the dog and the current owner.
While you might be a very responsible owner for this pup, how does the seller know that? Has there been any requests to call your veterinarian or have you fill out an application to ensure the dog is truly going to a good home? If so, hooray! The owner might be doing his/her due diligence. If not, which is more likely in free to good home situations, the owner is looking to just get rid of the dog, which makes me as a trainer ask “why?”
Receiving: Often when I go to client’s homes and there was a “free to good home” situation, there are more complications than advertised. When behavior or health problems do arise, the person who gave the dog away is suddenly missing in action, phone disconnected, no communication, nothing. This is incredibly frustrating if there is a health issue that has been previously diagnosed but perhaps not addressed due to cost of treatment or mortality rate (there have been a few cases where the new owners acquired a free dog where within months had to put the poor thing down due to cancer or other incurable illnesses). Illnesses, frequent as they are, have been less common than the behavior problems that tend to pop up with my clients – biting history that hasn’t been disclosed, which Trisha talks about frequently on the blog tends to be high on that list. Some of the dogs have been puppy mill bitches – which means they weren’t socialized, or touched affectionately, or ever lived in a home which Trisha has talked about the difficulties of that aspect of bringing in dogs from these backgrounds. They aren’t hopeless – it’s a LOT more work and consideration than is usually promoted in the advertisement.
Some rescues won’t take a dog who has a bite history, which could – though not necessarily – be the reason for not going through breed specific rescue or going back to the breeder. Is this something you’d be willing to take on?
Plus the shipping question you posed – would YOU be paying for the shipping or the current owner of the dog? If they are paying to ship but the dog is “free to good home” I have SO many questions…
Lastly, and in my opinion most importantly, there are so many reasons not to get a dog you have never met before, especially in a case like this. Something I personally present on and talk about is the shipping industry and how it’s affecting rescue and purebred dogs alike and if you are seriously considering taking on this dog, I would encourage you to go and meet this dog in person, meet the owner, even if it’s several (as a New Englander) BIG states away. If you aren’t willing to go meet the dog in person, put your hands on the pup, talk with the person in person and leave with the dog at a later date after you thought about the relationship you and this dog could potentially have given where this individual dog is emotionally and behaviorally, then I would seriously caution you against getting this particular dog.
She might be an amazing dog – and this owner really might not have considered what “Free To Good Home” could mean so this could be a really great opportunity – but you just don’t know unless you go and meet the dog first. And if you’re willing to do that, that’s one thing. If you’re not able or willing to, I personally don’t think you should because it’s very, very risky.
You could still help this dog by suggesting to the owner to look at Breed Specific Rescue or consulting the contract if there was one with a breeder indicating the dog should go back for any reason. He/She might not be willing to do that, but it also might not have crossed his/her mind, or you could volunteer to go meet the dog in person. If they say “no,” then consider this a bullet dodged.
Good luck!
Trisha says
I am on board with Melissa’s cautions. At minimum I’d have a long conversation with her current foster, talk to at least some one else who knows her, ask lots of very specific questions (“Exactly what would she do if another dog ran into the house by surprise?” “Exactly what would she do it she picked up a raw chicken bone on the kitchen floor and I tried to take it out of her mouth?” Talk to her vet. Etc etc etc. And oh yes, the shipping. Be super cautious about that… I would advise not shipping her at all by plane at a minimum. Can you get out there to meet her? (Not really much more trouble than taking care of a huge dog with lots of problems, right?) Keep us posted…
Carollan says
I had a 5 yr old overfed,fat rehome,who was used to doiong as she pleased with her human who was quite frightened of her.She was aggressive with grooming especially,no cut nails,no bathing or brushing allowed for way more than3WEEKS!!It took a year to gain her confidence but then,after about3YEARS,I could groom,bathe and clip nails,she adores me and our family and turns on a sixpence to run back to me and do as she is asked.A dream come true.Time and patience 🙂
Toni Gardner says
I adopted a 4-5 (?) yo saluki-mix dog four weeks ago from Kuwait via a reputable rescue group. Her history: she was found in the desert, shot in the leg/shoulder, with distended teats, but no puppies in sight. Taken to a shelter there with many other dogs (~100?), nursed orphan pups, and was well treated and loved, but was there for a “year-plus” (I only found that out a few days ago). Came to the US, was briefly fostered, then adopted and returned when they found out she would have to have her injured leg amputated, went into another foster, where she lived for ~2 months. She had her front right leg removed about three months ago while in foster, with another surgery later to remove a benign tumor from her mammary. During her time in the second foster, I contacted the group in a general inquiry, saying I was looking for an older “gentle lady in distress”, which she is! Totally sweet temperament, loves all people and my cats, phew. After a long wait during her surgeries and recovery, she became mine.
Her immediate issue was going for walks, where she balked and lay down constantly, wanted to dictate where we went, which I confess I allowed in the beginning to let her explore my just-outside-the-city, row-house neighborhood. I’ve had many dogs over my entire lifetime, none with that behavior, and didn’t know how much was headstrong independence, and how much was fatigue or possible pain from learning to walk on one front leg. By the time I found out she had little idea what a leash walk actually was, I had figured out to use a martingale collar plus harness with handle for hoisting her (40+ lbs, and I’m a 66 yo with old hernia issues) when needed (not often). The walks have already improved and I’m hopeful.
One other immediate issue is she won’t use my back garden to eliminate. I have to take her on a leash walk. I’ve tried using a word that I established on walks, soaking paper towels with her pee produced on walks and leaving them in the garden, pulling grass near where other dogs have been and mulch from the dog park and spread in the yard, all without success. So I go on many walks. Any other ideas to encourage her to use the back?
Then at the magic three weeks, a big shift. She had always loved spending time in her “hidey hole”, her hollowed-out space in the garden, but now wants to spend more time there than in the house. She had a pretty even balance between in and outdoor time previously, but one evening during week three, while still inside, we had a very bad thunderstorm, which made her anxious, pacing back and forth. She peed right in front of me in the front hall area. The subsequent two nights (no storms), she began pacing nervously between front and back doors, followed by urination in the house. Now she wants to be outside all the time. She used to sleep with me on the bed, but last night woke me up at midnight, frantic again. I let her outside and gave up, let her stay outside all night. She returned to the kitchen cheerfully for her breakfast in the morning. She wanted to go outside again after our morning walk, but I have got her inside with me and she is sleeping calmly next to me. Of course now I can’t move.
Pardon the long wind-up, but here is my question: Is it better to let her gradually spend more time inside, waiting patiently for the three-month or even three-year landmarks, or should I “force” her to spend more time inside? I always prefer a slow, gentle solution, plus if I make her stay inside, I risk more inside urination. Is this just a lingering reaction to being frightened from the storm while inside the house? And what should I do about upcoming storms and, worst of all, 4th of July and other occasions when neighbors (illegally, but prolifically) set off fireworks?
I have read many of Trish’s writings, and Trish, you are my favorite behaviorist. I’ve relied on your wisdom and approach in the past both for myself and when I wrote a pets column for Country Living magazine as well.
Very many thanks for any feedback!