I began meditating because of pain. I’d injured my shoulder and somehow managed to strain the connection between my collar bone and sternum. For over a year I was in the kind of pain that sucks the energy out of you, and makes it a victory to get through the day without collapsing into a limp pile of defeat. Extensive physical therapy and medications did not help. In desperation I joined a Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction program and discovered that acknowledging and describing the pain really did make it less aversive.
My shoulder healed and I stopped meditating until I began the therapy I describe in The Education of Will. Since then, I’ve meditated off and on for years. I describe myself as a “lazy meditator”–my sessions often lasting no more 10-15 minutes, with plenty of days of good intentions but no practice. And practice it is–meditating is not having your mind go blank or breathing your way to bliss. It is focusing your brain intentionally, rather than letting it sputter around from thought to thought, as is typical for most of us, most of the time. “Monkey mind” it’s called, and we all know exactly what that feels like. Did I remember to water the orchids? we think as we’re watching a movie. Should I feed a different food to my dogs? as we chat with friends at a restaurant.
Being in the present isn’t part of our skill set, we humans. It actually takes a lot of energy to focus our brains and stay with it for any length of time. It gets easier and easier the more you do it (thus, it’s called a “practice”) but it goes against our nature. No doubt that is one of the reasons we love our dogs and cats and horses so much–there is no doubt that they are better than we are at living in the moment.
How interesting then, I thought, when I read in the magazine Mindful about Elisabeth Paige, who coined the term “petitate”, after learning that petting her dogs allowed her to meditate with the dogs as her anchor. She had tried closing herself in a room to avoid distractions, but her Schipperkes kept whining at the door. When she finally let them in, she realized that focusing on the dogs vastly improved her practice. Eventually she wrote a book and created Mindful Petitations, which includes a website with some short, guided meditations and the book she wrote about how to meditate with your pet.
A few thoughts here, from someone with virtually no qualifications to provide meditation advice except to convey my own experience and reactions. One–it can be very helpful to give your brain a specific focus. Many of the woman in the meditation class I just finished (run by the amazing Mare Chapman) especially liked doing the “body scan,” in which you direct your attention to each area of your body, usually starting at the top of your head or at the tip of your big toe. That’s easier than “focusing on your breath” for a long period of time. (Aside, for those who have never meditated: Of course you have thoughts, like “I’m bored” or “What should I make for dinner tonight?” You simply note them, and then refocus your mind back to your intention.)
Why not focus on your dog or cat while petting them? You could focus on the feel of their fur, the sound of their breathing, the scent of their belly. How this goes will no doubt depend on the pet. My Maggie and I have an unstructured meditation session every evening, when she sprawls onto my lap and I lose myself in the silk of her belly, the curve of her forehead. Willie and Tootse are equally happy to oblige. I can imagine other animals who squirm and fidget and would make the kind of quiet focus required into more, not less, of a challenge. But why not try?
I do have a few quibbles with Dr. Paige’s website. For example, she says “If you stroke your pet or hold your pet in your lap, you are Petitating.” Well, okay, she gets to define it, but you are not necessarily meditating. If you stroke your pet and focus on the feel of their fur, and refocus your monkey mind each time it says “I should feed the dogs soon” or “I wish I was a better dog trainer”, you are indeed meditating. If you stroke your pet while letting your brain leap around like a crazed monkey, you are not.
Also, I listened to some of the short, guided meditations, and although much of the information was good, I found myself distracted by Dr. Paige’s voice. I remember being hurt when Tantor audio wanted to produce For the Love of a Dog, but read by someone rather than me. But once I heard Ellen Archer’s gorgeous voice, I was enrolled. There is a reason that some people are paid as professional “voices”.
But those are truly are quibbles. I love the idea of combining meditation with our love of our animals. There are a gazillion sources on meditation in general, but a great place to start is Mare Chapman’s book, Unshakeable Confidence. Whether you are truly interested in formal meditation practice, with your pets or without, I do hope that this week you will take time every day to focus intentionally on the color of your dog’s eyes, the feel of her nose, and the scent of his paws.
Namaste.
MEANWHILE, back on the farm. Good grief. We all are used to snow in April, but this has been ridiculous. We might get snow, even lots of it, but then it melts the next day and the daffodils pretend it never happened. What we don’t usually get is brutal cold, then super warm, then brutal cold, then super warm, and then an ice storm with a solid inch of ice covering everything, followed by several inches of snow. Our house was surrounded by desperate birds yesterday–Phoebees looking for insects on the windows, Kinglets looking for shelter, dazed warblers looking for warmth. I kept Nellie inside much of the day, she being the cat most likely to take advantage of their predicament.
On another note, want to join a Facebook contest? Right now we have a contest going on through Facebook, and I know many of you aren’t on FB, so I thought I’d mention it here. Lady Baa Baa (brilliantly named thanks to social media followers) is due to have lambs anytime between now and April 28th. Whoever correctly guesses the date, number and sex of the lambs gets a signed copy of The Education of Will. (Background info: Lady Baa Baa has always had twins, but her mother had twins for 8 years and then triplets last year. A related ewe had twins five years, then a single. Ya never know.)
Here she is with her twin lambs in 2015, soon after their delivery. (Request: Please please let this year’s lambs come before I leave on Thursday for Philly to speak at the Working Dog Conference. I’m afraid Jim is going to get stuck with all the lambing while I’m gone. And I hate missing it!)
Here’s to spring, if we can remember what that is!
lynn says
I’ve never practiced formal meditation, but you describe my coping-with-insomnia strategy very well. I reach out to touch my dog, run my hand around to her rib cage, and then stroke her gently and repetitively, focusing only on the feel of her soft fur, the way her sides expand with her breathing, the warmth of her, the small changes in her breathing that let me know I’ve woken her up (but not too much, I hope). Sometimes I count the number of times I pet her, or try to match my breathing to it; other nights, I just rest my hand against her and let it anchor me. It helps quiet those middle-of-the-night racing thoughts, and usually means I drift back to sleep a little sooner than I would have (or just feel more peaceful while lying awake).
I’ll throw in a guess: Lady Baa Baa will have twin girls on April 24th. Baayonce and Solamb?
LisaW says
Spring is elusive in the northeast, too. We’ve had snow, freezing rain, sleet, rain, and howling winds all in the past 48 hours. I think there are three simultaneous weather alerts right now. Our daffodils have not even shown their heads yet. Barely a sprout. I’m keeping the blinds drawn until the sun comes back. Guess I’m a bit climate-grumpy ;(
I have slightly elevated blood pressure and my doc prescribed a book: The Relaxation Response, which was first published in the 1970s. Dr. Benson, professor, author, cardiologist, and founder of Harvard’s Mind/Body Medical Institute, broke ground when he linked meditation to cardiovascular health.
I read the book and tried the practices and eventually got an Rx. I am not good at deliberate mindfulness. However, I did realize that there are times when I can feel my breathing slow and my mind relax. It’s when I’m at my favorite, quite swimming spot, or walking the dog in the woods or a field, or having a moment. I take these as my opportunities to let my mind wander and my tension ease.
Like Lynn, I do find myself reaching for the dog when I’m awake at 4am. I don’t want to startle her, but I gently lay my hand on her and follow her breathing. It’s comforting.
Baayonce and Solamb are da bomb!
Diane says
I will not try to state this is meditation. But like Lisa, my blood pressure was not going in the right direction. I lost my beautiful dog December 30th; my place of work was —-well let’s just say after 28 years of service there I was not feeling welcomed by new management. We brought a new dog into our lives, sooner than we thought but when the opportunity is there you take it. My blood pressure is so much better. We have another focus in our lives….not a meditation focus…but a focus.
No clue about lambs except they are ever so cute. Love Baayonce and Solamb names!!!
Sue Thibedeau says
I love the term “monkey mind”. Unfortunately, the orange tabby that sleeps on my bed may not be the best candidate for petitation because if you pet more than once he bites : (
My guess for Lady Baa Baa is 2 ram lambs on the 27th.
Christine Weber says
I recently read an interesting Book „Der Budda auf vier Pfoten“ by Dirk Grosser. He shows us in a warm-hearted way how our four-legged friends can become real teachers to our soul!
Terry Golson says
I have a horse, and my time in the saddle is my meditation. Focused. Breathing matters. He responds to it. Where my eyes focus matters. That’s where he goes. I also teach riding, and I find that if I can get the rider to let go and focus that everything else falls into place. Usually the difficulties that they’re having with their horses get far easier to manage and train. Oh, and there’s nothing like a grooming session during shedding season to get you in the zone!
Adrienne K says
Thank you for the tips on deliberate mindfulness. I have racing thoughts way too often. Now at least I can call my problem by it’s medical name “monkey mind”. When I awaken in the night after maybe an hour or two of sleep I always feel my sweet dog lying next to me making those happy little slumber sounds. I try not disturbing her but now I think I will try reaching out to her and concentrate on her sounds of sleep. I also have chronic bad back pain. Sometimes it is just plain exhausting. I hope to interrupt that cycle with deliberate mindfulness. Getting my thoughts to calm down is not easy but I am willing to try.
Minnesota Mary says
@Terry Golson, thank you so much for bringing back fond memories of the horses I had in my youth! I always rode bareback and even the tensing of muscles on either my or the horse’s part was communication. And my abs and thighs were so strong! Even the grooming is meditative.
Elaine Oette says
I find cleaning my tack is a soothing, mind clearing task…
Mason says
I listen to hypnotherapy CDs, and whenever my dogs hear the opening bars of tinkling new age music coming from the bedroom, they hustle in to be with me. McCracken likes to drape himself over my solar plexus, Pushkin takes up residence on my chest, and Notley places her chin on my ankles. It’s the stillest, most relaxing time we have together.
A friend of mine, who is a life coach, told me her dog Raska always somehow knows when she’s meditating (via Skype) with a client, and comes up stairs to sit under the computer table and lean against her legs.
I think dogs love the calming energy of meditation or self hypnosis. I look forward to trying petitation too, though managing it in a multi-dog household might be beyond my current mindfulness skill set!
Pat says
Hi Trisha, it seems that we have your warm weather here in Australia where Autumn should be! We are having lovely spring-like days with clear blue skies, I think the weather man said that April is 8° (Celsius) warmer than average.
I would never have called it meditation, but the feel of my dog next to me at night or on my lap in winter, (he only snuggles when it’s cold) really is a form of mindfulness. Pausing to appreciate the texture of his curls or the smoothness of his face and belly, the rhythm of his breath and the snuffles in his sleep is certainly something I will try and make more time for in my little ‘monkey brain’. Truthfully at these moments I am normally just glad he is still and quite – like a baby he is never so cute as when he is sleeping!
Chloe says
Grooming and washing my dog is very meditative for me and I hope for her too. We take our time and attend to her ears eyes tail and everything in between.
A side note, I have been a meditator for at least 10 years although not every day these days but I also used to do walking meditation which is extremely slow walking. My BC was very upset by this. She would muzzle poke me and jump on me. I think for a herder such a change in speed is NOT NORMAL and it was disturbing. Sitting meditation was fine for all my dogs and visitors. One check-in and off they went for a nap.
We have had torentual rains, ice showers wind storms, and temps rapidly changing from 65 to 45. Even for Portland Oregon this is wild.
HFR says
I don’t meditate and when I’ve tried I’ve failed miserably, but I do feel the urge often to have a hand on my dog. He sleeps at the foot of my bed. He’s very large, so his back end is usually sprawled about halfway up the bed. I’ll be reading a book or just laying there trying to fall asleep and without even thinking about it my hand reaches for him. It rests on his back leg or cups his knee. I instantly feel relaxed and comforted by the feel of his fur and the movement of his breaths. What is remarkable is I don’t think about doing it. It literally is a reflex, an urge, a need to be connected that is calming. So I can definitely see how pets would help one meditate. Maybe I’ll try it again, this time with my dog.
Linda Lipinski says
Why didn’t I think of that??? Being a long time meditation practioner, I have always been able to go into the “zone” of meditation while petting my cat or dog but never consciously thought about it. Now I know it’s Petitation! Enjoyed her website & sample meditations.
Thanks so much for sharing this information.
Trisha says
Just FYI HFR. It’s not possible to “fail” meditating! As one of my instructions said, every time you bring your mind back to where you want is a triumph! No matter how often your mind wanders, it’s just another chance to practice bringing it back.
Alexis Korbey says
From my blogpost today:
HEART TO HEART
At least once every night my little dog hops into my bed, burrows under the covers, and snuggles to nestle her ear into my chest to hear my heartbeat. She is what’s known as a “rescue,” although those of us with furry friends bearing that moniker know well its real application is mutual.
In the predawn hours yesterday, as I felt her asserting herself into her usual position and then listened as her breathing, slow and steady, signaled her departure into her dreamworld, I allowed my own mind to follow. In a near-trance of comfortable drowsiness, I received phrases which came at me in a series of imaginings…
Innocence in Intimacy. Love Beyond Loving. Heart to Heart.
How many times in our lives do we encounter another sentient being capable of this simplest, and yet most profound nearness and openness?
In little children we see the same innocence and beauty, totally void of guile or ambiguity. We were children once… can’t we rightfully expect to retain some share of this wonder? Or does the process of maturing into adulthood cause us to squander the innocence we somehow seem to have lost?
I remember the 1980s when author Leo Bruscaglia, a PhD who ably personified his nickname “Dr. Love,” made famous the practice of greeting others with ‘the hug.’ His book “Love” proclaims:
“It is not deeply philosophical nor complicated. It is about daring to expose oneself. To be vulnerable and to give without reservation or expectation.”
Reading that, I can’t help thinking of the very same lesson my dog conveys as she snuggles against me…
Innocence in Intimacy. Love Beyond Loving. Heart to Heart.
It’s a lesson for the ages. It’s not deeply philosophical, nor is it complicated. And it can come to life in each of us, starting today.
HFR says
Interesting way to think about it. You’ve inspired me. So what else is new? 🙂
Frances says
I don’t meditate as such, but I do have a lot of just-being time, usually with the dogs and cats. If I sit down within minutes there will be at least one animal on my lap, and another at my feet, with the constant invitation to stop whatever I am doing with book or paper or laptop and concentrate instead on warm fur and the feel of skin moving over muscle – is that Petitation? If so, I have been doing it for years without knowing, rather like the Moliere character who was delighted to learn he had been speaking prose all his life!
Mary Reed says
I recommend researching Transcendental Meditation. There have been numerous published scientific studies on it (which I think you would be interested in since you have a research/scientific background), brain wave coherence studies, etc. The technique is simple, has helped me through difficult times, is really helpful for dealing with stress, and much more. I highly recommend it.
Carla says
We used to have a dog who would drink his water in laps of three: lap,lap,lap pause, lap,lap,lap. It was particularly calming to hear him in the middle of the night.
Regarding horse/mules, I have always had my soul quieted by sitting near them and listening to them eat. I sometimes will even sit in the hay in the big bale hay ring and be surrounded by the sounds of them munching the hay. I have friends who look at me like I’m really crazy if I tell them that. It is just relaxing and mentally calming for me.
I agree also with the calming effects of listening/feeling the dogs’ breathing at night.
Oh, Lady Baa Baa: I will guess twins, one boy one girl born on April 25.