Tall Two Leg Female can’t write today, because she is busy arranging for my very special birthday party. If it is anywhere around Is It Time for Dinner Yet? time, then I am getting the attention that I so deserve as you read this. I am sorry that Tall Two Leg Female and Tall Two Leg Fuzz Face Male did not ask all of you. I do not understand why not. I think you should be here to rub my belly.
Here is what I sent out the Two Legs I was allowed to invite:
Dear Two Leg:
Please don’t tell anyone I’m writing this but I turn fifteen years old on December 7th. I think everyone should come and pay attention to ME that day but Tall Two Leg Female and Tall Two Leg Fuzz Face Male are leaving AGAIN that weekend and I think they’d better be here to keep Willie in his place.
I want you to come and rub my belly and tell me how pretty I still am, and give me treats and everything. Tall Two Leg Female said you could do that on Saturday December 13th at 2:30. She said she’d have snacks and drinks and no one needs to bring anything except I am hoping you will bring your undying admiration for ME. It would be fine if you brought your REAL animals (the ones with muzzles who are able to smell things and have the right amount of legs for cowpies’ sake) if you wouldn’t mind leaving them in the car for the party so that I can be the CENTER OF ATTENTION, as I should, and then we could all go on a walk up the hill together if you would like that. Just as long as the REAL animals are nice to me, because I am deaf and getting fragile but am ever-so pretty still…
If you could write me back on this clicky-clacky thing then I’ll know how many of you are coming. Please let me know by at least 5 dark times before the party.
Tall Two Leg Female says she already sent this flat thing that is me but isn’t me to you, but I asked her to send it again because it shows how very beautiful I am even though I am 15 years old now: