Cookies! Praise! Belly Rubs! Using positive reinforcement feels so easy, and is such a great way to have a healthy and happy relationship with your dog. The research is overwhelming that training with R+ builds trust, reduces stress, and is effective at teaching new and desired behaviors.
And. Yet. There are plenty of pitfalls to using R+ successfully, which was my topic at a speech I recently gave to the Madison Rotary Club. I’ll link to the speech at the end, but here’s a summary of the talk’s primary points:
NOPE! NOT REINFORCEMENT! Yesterday I saw someone lean down and praise a dog for a good performance, stroking the dog’s head while speaking enthusiastically. The dog responded by yawning, turning away and sniffing the ground. Whoops. In spite of a loving owner, the dog’s actions made it clear that the “reinforcement” was aversive. In other words, the dog accidently got punished for doing well. Ouch. And yet, so common, and so easy. I almost did it myself yesterday—a dog I didn’t know came over and put his paws up on my chair. I stroked his head and cooed a bit, which caused the dog to immediately get down and go sniff. Okay, lesson learned. Next time he came over to me, I restrained myself, and sat down on the ground beside him. Totally different response—he snuggled up for a moment, but then went back to his human—his “secure attachment base,” before coming back over. Sweet, sweet dog, loves people, but a bit anxious about strangers.
I throw out that example because it’s not always obvious what a dog finds reinforcing. Even giving chicken to a dog nervous about strangers might not be the R+ you think it is, if the dog snatches the food and goes all whale eye on you. This all leads back to the mantra of every behaviorist and great trainer I know—Job One for all of us? Learn to read dogs like a native speaker.
ACCIDENTAL R+ There’s no better example of this than raising your voice to get a dog to stop barking. BARK BARK! Be quiet! BARK BARK! BE QUIET! BARK BARK BARK BARK! CHESTER SHUT THE F UP!!!
Or, translated: HEY HEY! Hey Hey! HEY HEY! HEY HEY! HEY HEY HEY HEY! HEY HEY HEY HEY! Barking is a social event in domestic dogs, and, too often, all we do is bark back. Whoops, again.
NO STAMINA There’s another, and very common way we can all get into trouble with accidental reinforcement, and it’s about staying the course. We’re cuddled on the couch, petting our dogs and decide that twenty minutes of dedicated belly rubbing are enough. (I’m talking to you, Maggie.) We pull our hands away, and our dogs paw at us for more. We ignore it. More pawing. More ignoring. And then–it’s not like you don’t know what’s coming here—we reach out our hands and begin petting again. (I’m talking to you, Trisha.)
Congratulations. We have just taught our dogs that stamina is the name of the game. Maggie has learned that I do finally, indeed, mean I’m done when I stop petting and say “enough,” although she’s smart enough to keep trying on occasion. (Okay, fine, damn it, she stops when I stop petting, say “enough,” and pet her head twice.)
This hardly becomes a problem when cuddling on the couch, but it can be if you REALLY don’t want your dog to beg at the table, or bark to get out of the crate. It’s simple to handle, because it’s all on us, and we have total control of our own behavior, right? Uh, right?
WHAT IS THE REINFORCEMENT? Of course, we usually DO know that. It is the chicken, or the belly rub, or the clicker followed by a primary reinforcement. But wait. What about the work of neurobiologist Jaak Panskeep, who found that dopamine, the neurotransmitter associated with pleasure (and which plays a huge role in addictions, tragically), is released at highest levels not when the R+ is given, but when it is anticipated. Whoa! Like when we get the leash out for a walk, rather than the walk? Like when you’re anticipating walking into a concert, but it hasn’t started yet? (A dear friend of mine has always wanted to write a book on how anticipating a vacation is often more fun than taking them!)
Hmmm. Could we use that? Get out the leash as a reinforcer every once in a while? Something to think about, yes?
THE VALUE OF THE PREMACK PRINCIPLE This isn’t a pitfall by any means, but not knowing it can be. The Premack Principle is simple: more probable behaviors will reinforce less probable behaviors. In other words, eat your vegetables, and then you can have desert. Here’s how I used it at the farm: If I let Skip out of the house, he’ll run to the barn, because that’s often where the sheep are, and he lives to work sheep. It’s his most probable behavior in that context. It could have been a problem when I first got him, because he’d bolt out of the house so fast he’d run me over. It only took two days to teach him to “Wait” when I opened the door, because the reinforcement was an “Okay,” and a dash to the barn. The Wait was totally worth it because it led to what he REALLY wanted. (Which was SO NOT a treat.) Later I used it to teach him to walk beside me. (I won’t dignify it by saying “heel,” it’s pretty sloppy.)
So often we are afraid of our dog’s “misbehaviors,” but they can be our best friends if we know how to use them safely.
Please join in with your own experiences of the above pitfalls, and add in others I’ve neglected to mention. I can’t wait to read your comments.
Here’s the full talk at Rotary Club:
MEANWHILE, back on the farm: Ah, well. In the last post I used the phrase “put the oxygen mask on first” as a metaphor for taking care of myself while grieving my sister. Several people, here and on Facebook and Instagram, responding—so kindly—by saying they hadn’t known I was ill and to take care of myself. No, no! I responded, I just meant it as a metaphor.
That is how I meant it. But. If I don’t fess up now and explain that I actually am ill, I’ll feel like I’m lying to you. We all have our personal values, and being authentic is one of mine. So, briefly, since the end of December I’ve been in a lot of pain, have been clinically exhausted, and been weak and dizzy. Really, really dizzy. The pain is from blacking out, falling hard, and hurting my back, which pissed off a lot of nerves. The exhaustion is most probably from Epstein Barr Virus/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and/or Long Covid, and the weak/dizzy is most probably from something called POTS, or Postural Orthostatic Tacchycaria Syndrome, and or Long Covid and/or . . . something else. Lots of tests done, more to do. I spend much of my days either in PT, at a doc’s office, or flattened on the couch like some Victorian dowager.
I will be alright. It will get figured out. I am surrounded by a devoted husband, dear friends, tons of doctors and holistic practioners. Some things don’t help, others do. Some days are better than others. I am better than I was in January and February. I am probably going to have to make some permanent changes in my life, a tad of a challenge for a woman who lives on a hilly farm, has sheep and working dogs, and uh, has ADHD besides. I’m not going to go into any more details, because that’s just not what this village is about. This is not the place to talk about disease, medicine, and treatments. It IS the place for me to honor so many others, including those who will read this post, who are worse off than I am. It IS the place to savor how important our dogs and our friends are.
Needless to say, I am doing less. But I still love doing this–some of you I include in the “dear friends” category mentioned above–and I will not give it up. You’ll note fewer links though, and fewer photos. At least, for now. I still can work on the novel, albeit not as much. I can still work the dogs, although not as much. (I will confess that Skip lying by the door, waiting to work sheep on the days that I can’t, still breaks my heart.) I cook less, even while trying to eat extra healthy. I cannot have my Friday night one or two Cosmos, which, if you want to feel sorry for me, feel sorry about that. Damn.
There’s always good news. We got to a nearby sheepdog trial this last weekend. Only two hours away, a much smaller course (it was a AHBA trial). Very low key, and some good friends to talk to. After being home so much it was like when the extreme Covid isolation was dropped. Wheee! Skip was brilliant his first run, really fantastic, and just AWFUL his second. That seems to be his pattern, Mr. Unpredictable, and I have no idea why. Maybe someday I’ll figure it out. But I am so happy we went, what a treat.
Here are some nice shots Jim got when Skip was at his best:
In the shot above, Skip is in good contact with the sheep, keeping steady pressure on but not scaring them. Someone said, “he is so kind to his sheep,” a lovely thing to hear. Too kind s0metimes, but this time, just right. Our job was to get the sheep straight through the middle of the panels. Nailed it.
Neither Skip or I can take any credit for this pen. The sheep are “school” sheep, used to train dogs, and are happy to go into the pen.
It was warm and beautiful that day. It had been in the 80’s the last few days, not sure it was that hot Saturday, but it was warm and toasty. I took off my overshirt and was down to short sleeves in the afternoon.
And then.
I have over 400 daffodils, probably closer to 500. They all bloomed within a few days because of the atypical heat and sun. This is what they all look like this morning, at least, the ones you can see. Don’t you love the yellow reflected onto the snow? It is still snowing now. Daffs are hardy things, many of them will bounce back, but many won’t.
Some pretty obvious metaphors here, no need for me to even point them out. May your week be full of tiny pleasures, where ever you can find them.
j says
And when the snow bows down those blooms and breaks the stems, take them for the extra gift they are, and bring the broken ones into the house. May they bring you joy.
Frances says
I have pulled two different muscles in 5 weeks, with only 4 pain free days between them. I feel for you – not just the pain but the exhaustion of everything taking so much time and so much effort.
I am particularly guilty of failing to persevere. Freddy comes bouncing in, shouting that there is something REALLY, REALLY exciting going on outside and please, please will I let him out to join in, and I say not while he’s shouting, and he gets even more excited and shouts even more, and I start to think of the neighbours still in bed and trying to sleep and look into Freddy’s pleading eyes, and… I don’t actually open the door until he is quiet, but he knows perfectly well that once I am on my feet I probably will.
Barbara says
Normally, my husband and I eat dinner in the kitchen or in front of the TV when it’s just the two of us. Our dog gets his meal too and leaves us alone. However, things are different when our family gets together for special occasions. Our dog knows that when we all sit down together at the dining room table, a serious culinary experience with plentiful food is about to begin. He wants in on it. My husband is the easy mark. It begins with soft pleading eyes, a gentle paw on the lap and an “okay, just one piece” from hubby. Those magic words will ensure he has a constant four-legged dinner companion at his side for the duration of the meal. This devolves quickly into more begging, more pieces, more whining and an irritated husband. He knows better not to do this. The kids think it’s funny. We all know who’s been training who.
LisaW says
That photo of snow-laden daffodils is achingly ironic given the context. POTS sounds better than it is ;-0, and well, the others . . .
As one living with someone with a rare, chronic, demyelinating, autoimmune polyneuropathy, I see how incredible the body is–in its struggles, invaders, and in its reclamation. There is hope and there is the row to hoe. I wish you the best in both.
We recently attended a memorial for a very dear friend; all the stories and anecdotes and recollections were beautiful. Someone said that our shared friend made each of us feel like he was OUR friend–not exclusively but especially.
That’s how you make us feel.
Take good care, our friend.
Brandy says
This is a really tough time for many – we are dealing with aging parents (father-in-law’s partner in hospice with cancer & mother-in-law with beginning dementia & a broken ankle that has severely reduced her mobility needing to move to assisted living) and several deaths in my extended circle of friends. I am appreciating the “oxygen mask” metaphor, and hope that you are finding things that help and letting your circle provide support.
As for barking, I present a poem:
Bark! at All the Things, a poem by Rosie
Bark!
A furthermore, bark.
Bark bark bark!
Bark at all the things!
woof
I sense Danger!
DANGER DANGER DANGER
WOOFING HARD NOW
Woof.
grrr….
(as translated by my husband XD)
Trisha says
LisaW: what an exquisitely kind thing to say. Thank you. And I am so sorry about your dear friend.
Donna says
First time commenting. New dog trainer here; you are so inspiring to me, thank you for all you are and do and have done.
I have lyme disease and mold toxicity and the acute inflammation of Covid on top of the chronic inflammation from Lyme and Mold has thrown my body into a tailspin, causing much of what you described above. I tell you this because while Lyme has become more well known and accepted, Mold Toxicity is not quite yet. The practitioners I have worked with have observed people with Mold toxicity haven’t done so well post-Covid. So I like to make sure everyone knows about this possibility if it might on the off chance help someone out there …
Charlotte Kasner says
So sorry to hear that you are unwell. Please do take care of yourself.
The photo of the daffodils in the snow reminds me of a magnolia tree that my late father planted. It had grown to about 6 foot and was in full (second) bloom in early June and then it snowed. I still have the picture from getting on for fifty years ago. It’s rare enough for us to have snow in the winter, let alone in June.
Lainy says
I’m sorry for your medical issues, guess most of us live with something or other, mine is multi joint arthritis and bulging discs in my neck. But meh, it is what it is.
Spring has sprung in the northeast and it makes me feel happy, even after the dreaded news that my 12 yr. old BC has and ACL tear and will need surgery, definitive X-rays in a few days then looking for an orthopedic doc.
I love reading your blogs and the remarks of others, I feel it’s a lovely group of fellow dog lovers that I will never meet, but have so much in common with feel their closeness. Healing wishes to you and all and happy spring.🥰
Meredith says
There’s so much of the stages of grief with chronic illness; I’m particularly familiar with anger, denial, and bargaining. When what one’s physical body can do in the world changes irrevocably for the worst, how can we not help but grieve for what has been lost for all of our ‘bodies’ — physical, emotional, cognitive — and by implication, for all of the other animal bodies who accompany us in this world? But thankfully we are, as our dogs are, resilient and creative, and often we are almost surprised to find ourselves learning what new and different things we can do and be that bring us joy and comfort. May that be so for you. All my love and best wishes.
lak says
Yes, I am sure my dog is training me! Our trainer told me that in some ways getting her to walk without pulling will be a war of wills, and he was not sure who would win. We are continuing to work on this. Hope your health issues are sorted out and resolve quickly. I suffered after COVID without knowing what it was; extreme fatigue was the worst, it wasn’t until a neighbor of mine explained it was probably result of COVID that I felt some relief, and after a few more months the fatigues got much better. Although my heart took a hit and left me hospitalized with an ablation and now a Loop Recorder. Much better now, back to walking 4-5 miles a day with the new dog, hating it while it is cold in the beginning, and feeling so much better when we are finished! Thank you for this forum where I have learned so much! Sending healing thoughts and wishes your way!
Jen Gibson says
Aw damn, I am sorry you are going through all of that. The unknown is a hard place to be. And so is life-limiting symptoms and diseases. Do take care of yourself. And yes, others always have it worse or better, but it is your experience and that has value and impact to you!
Sending lots of healing and restful vibes your way,
Jen
Julia says
Oh no, Tricia, I’m so sorry you’re going through health issues. I’m glad you have a great support network, and know that there are many more people who care a lot about you who don’t even know.
Your blog and books have helped me get through some very bleak times with our extremely fearful dog and the impact her fear and aggression has had on our lives. You have connected with and helped so many people with your writing. I consider you an inspiration and role model and wish you the very best in dealing with these current health challenges. If you ever need anything send up the bat signal and you’ll have people coming out of the woodwork to help.
Solveig says
I adopted a second dog last month, and what you said about finding the reinforcer for the individual hits home.
Finn my older dog, LOVES fuss. One of the best rewards he can get is some enthusiastic scruffs on his lower back. I forgot myself, and tried to reinforce Atom my new dog with the same “reward” and was faced with a look of utter disgust. I’ve since learned she’s more of a foodie, just need to program that into my ever-forgetting, habit-driven human brain.
Look after yourself Trisha!
Ellen says
Stamina hits home… I have a wonderful neighbor who has been giving my dog treats since he was old enough to walk by her house. Now, at two years old, every walk out of the neighborhood requires that we at least pause at the end of her driveway. If it’s an evening walk and it’s warm out, he fully expects to see her outside, and it can take a lot of convincing to get him past the house.
Last night, I was having some halting success (rewarding for nose touches that moved us down the road) but just as we cleared the driveway, the garage door started to open. Proving once again, that if he stalls long enough, she WILL come and hand out treats and visit with him.
What’s extra funny about this is that my treats to reward movement away from her house are some of his favorite jerky. She’s handing out milk bones, but nothing I carry can compete with the reward of visiting with his favorite neighbor.
Paula D Sunday says
I love Premack, once I got my head around the concept! The sheep will be rewarded by going into the pen and the dog leaves them alone, no other reason to go into a pen.
Lynn Ungar says
Wishing you healing, and much kindness to yourself as you deal with the process. I will note in the training persistence category that at least once a day I say to Kinzie “No, I’m not picking you up. You’re enormous. This is ridiculous. No, I can’t carry you.” And then somehow there I am with an Aussie in my arms. Again. The Slither Beast sends many kisses. So very many kisses.
Judy says
I’m sorry to hear about your health problems, Trish. It’s been a rough year for you with the health problems with the dogs and losing your sister, and now your own troubles. I believe our body can only handle so much stress before it starts to say hey, figure it out buttercup! Thank you for being open, honest, and allowing others to grieve with and for you and to open up themselves.
I love your thought about the “ok” being the reward for waiting at the door. It makes perfect sense! Although the thought of not actually giving Lando the treat because the anticipation of it (he comes running when he hears that treat jar lid pop open!) is the reward seems a little sad 😅
Trisha says
Ah, Judy, I hear you about not disappointing Lando! I’d give him the treat when he expects it, but maybe use the Okay in other contexts? Just a thought, and thanks for the kind comments.
nana~mary says
Oh, Trisha – I’m sorry life has been a challenge! I can relate to the back issues…All of my lumbar vertebrae are herniated, and there is spinal stenosis, as well. Pain is a part of my life.
But the part of your post that spoke to me in volumes was about barking dogs! (No pun intended.) I’m amazed at my Westie’s ability to start barking BEFORE the dog appears on TV commercials. She has memorized the intro music on them and barks immediately, knowing that there will be dogs. (BTW, why do most of the ads on TV have dogs on them???) Don’t get me wrong, I love dogs! But it’s hard for me to avoid reacting. Most of the time, I jump out of my skin! One of the hardest thing for me is to keep myself calm and react with a gentle, “Quiet.” I’m working on it.
Feel better, Trisha! Summer will be upon us before we know it!
Scott Fischer says
As a trainer, I love this column on what is actually reinforcing or not! Our actions by themselves, whatever our intentions, are not the deciding factor. The dog’s response to our actions will never lie.
Thank you!
Scott Fischer says
I was so excited after reading your post on reinforcers that I rushed to post my comment above without reading everything else you posted.
You don’t know me from Adam, Trisch, but I feel like I know you to some degree. Your books and blog have had a huge influence on me and the way I work with dogs. I thank you for that. I also wish you a prompt recovery from what ails you and hope for your return to good health!
P. D. says
I’m so sorry that you have joined the POTS et al club. I have had it for 8.5 years. UW is great but has no specialists, just like the rest of WI anymore (I live here too). Dr Barboi in Chicago is fantastic and the closest. Definitely worth the wait. Avoid Mayo Rochester. Dysautonomia International is a great resource. Rest, but also exercise so you don’t get worse. It’s a long road typically. Feel free to contact me if you want to. Feel free not to post this too, I just wanted provide the information (I used to be a librarian, old habits and all that).
Jenny Johnson says
Love and Light to you, Trisha! So many of us are struggling these days and WE GET IT. Put on your oxygen mask first! <3 We'll be here!
Joan Castleman says
In 1990, my 6 year old daughter and I had the fun/privilege of taking your puppy class. Our Golden was leash walking challenged so we also did some remedial work with you in Black Earth. Over the years and three dogs later, I’ve continued to seek out your wise guidance through your books and posts.
Be gentle with yourself as you heal. Hopefully the increased awareness of problems related to long COVID and POTS will lead to better treatments.
Andy says
I hope you feel better soon, Trisha! You have given so much to the dog world and you deserve the good life. Thank you for your wisdom and honesty.
Barb Stanek says
Thanks for the health update, Trish. Continue to take care as you have been. This aging process and the challenges that it brings are worth at least one chapter in our novels. Oh well. Carrying on seems the best thing to do.
Peter Healy says
It is important to understand the behavior you are reinforcing as well. Our dog was not great in obeying anyone but me. He developed a habit of jumping up on my wife. Our trainer advised, turn a hip to him to block the jump, directing him to a positive activity (a sit in this case) and rewarding the positive activity. After two times of this routine, the third time Tadhg jumped up, and before my wife could even turn, he stepped back, sat and waited for his treat. Obviously he thought both the jump and sit were required!
Barbara Cook says
I’m so sorry to hear you are having health issues Tricia. Yes, as we age, each of us seems to have something – mine 3 years ago (at age 76) was breast cancer – eek. Keep on staying positive as much as you can. A wonderful support network is a glorious thing to have. Sending you healing thoughts.
Laura says
Hi Tricia,
I don’t have much to add to this post regarding dogs, because I am still dogless. But I just wanted to say I know about chronic illness. I have finally figured mine out over the past year, but I’m so glad you’re taking the time to take care of yourself, and that you have others around you who will help. I have wonderful people around men, doctors, my amazing husband, friends and family, who have all helped to, and hopefully soon, I will tell you all about my new Guide Dog. Stay well, and rest when you need to, and give those dogs all the hugs! 🐕🦮🐾🐾
Gayle Wedgwood says
My positive reinforcement fail is my sense of timing. When I had a dog reactive dog people told me ‘call her, when she looks at you use the clicker, then reward.’ Perfect, except I am 1) a klutz and 2) have no sense of timing. So Libby would bark, I would say ‘Libby’ she would turn, I would fumble the clicker, she would be starting to bark again and ‘click’! I gave up the clicker for ‘yes’. Same thing, except substitute ‘yes’ for the clicker — I would be saying ‘yes’ as she started to bark again. So positive reinforcement only did work for any time when I wasn’t stressed or in a hurry. So for teaching basic commands, things like that, it was fine.
Bitsey Patton says
Many years ago, I was observing my obedience coach teach a class. A woman with a corgi had just lavished praise on her dog, petting him all over. My coach said, “Can’t you see he hates that?” It was a moment I will never forget and has informed my actions and teaching. It’s not what WE find reinforcing, it is what THEY find reinforcing.
Debbi says
A comment about Skip … sort of. Back when I was doing K9 Search and Rescue, my first SAR dog, who I did tracking/trailing with, was much more sensitive than I usually recognized (I’ve learned a lot from you and others!)
One day, I had a spactacular looking fall, got up, was uninjured and started back to work. And my dog could NOT reacquire the scent. We futzed around for a minute then I realized I was slightly shaken up, and sat down on a log. I laughed and chatted with my teammate for a few minutes. I truly was uninjured. Then when we got back to work my girl reacquired scent like it had been handed to her on a silver platter! To this day, I think she was off her game for a few minutes because I was off mine.
So, relating this to Skip … is he doing well when you’re at your most energenic? He’s “very kind to sheep,” says to me that he’s a very sensitive guy. Maybe he gets distracted when you’re just a little off your game? So yes, put on your own oxygen mask first! Hugs to you!
Cheryl Holman says
Think I have you beat in the daffodil numbers. Before I moved to the farm 27 years ago one of the previous owners planted daffodils in every pasture. This year they stayed for over 2 weeks. They were incredible. As I had knee surgery in January they added a bright spot to my life of reduced activity.
Suzanne Allen says
How unusual that you were using the metaphor “put the oxygen mask on first”. I was just explaining that to my young adult son last week and he strongly disagreed. I remember that analogy when I was a new mom and I also ignored it at that time. I guess I’m still not setting a good example for him because my 14 year old Lab is fully in charge of when I leave the house and for how long at a time and, sadly, I choose to not go on weekend excursions with the family and instead spend time with my old gal just in case she falls or takes a downward turn. We have been together her entire life and I just can’t not be with her in her final months (days?).
Loosing family, whether canine family or human, takes a hard toll on us. I’m so sorry at the loss of your sister. Please keep taking care of yourself and once you feel better the rest of your family will love the extra attention. Thanks for all your wise words!
Nancy Pritz says
It touches me how you share yourself. Thank you for that. Life can be rough. But when we can be genuine with each other and share our struggles it eases the journey a bit for all of us. Wishing you answers an comfort.
Kelsey Steinbach says
Dr. McConnell, I have long been an admirer of yours. You have informed my sense of “dog” since before I had my own, and you assured me that I could both dearly love and spoil my dogs and still respect them; that I can find them scientifically fascinating while simultaneously singing them their special, silly songs. I seriously considered going to UW-Madison purely so I could take your class.
About that time, I developed a mystery illness, later diagnosed as POTS with possible ME/CFS. I am desperately sorry that you are going through similar issues. It hurts my (tachycardic) heart to know that someone so important to my life – even if you have no idea who I am – shares the pain of “letting down” her dog because of a body’s limitations.
May you have many low-symptom days, may your doctors be helpful, and may all the good thoughts I send find their way to you!
Joan says
Trisha, I had never heard of POTS until earlier today and now again here; such a strange coincidence. Best wishes to you getting your challenges under control! At age 67 with health issues as well, I thought I was way too old to get a puppy, but I did it anyway. An active herding breed yet – a Swedish Vallhund. I’ve been showing him in conformation and taking agility lessons. If agility becomes too much for me we’ll switch to something less demanding on my body. I will do as much as I can for as long as I can as I’m sure you will too! Enjoy the beautiful Spring that is undoubtedly coming to us in the Midwest! P.S. I was first introduced to you on a TV show that you did with your previous husband (I think?) and your dogs, Luke and Lassie (?). Since then I’ve read all of your books and was fortunate to see you in person twice! Thank you for sharing all of your wisdom and humor with us!!
Trish Wamsat says
You’re always such an inspiration to me. Your generosity with your wisdom is incredible.
I’m so sorry to hear you’re struggling with such tough challenges. Like you, I have herding dogs (Kelpies) and their sheep and it breaks my heart when I’m unable to get out and let the dogs do what they want most in the world. In fact, it sucks. So I’m wishing you a fast and full recovery and LOTS of sheep work really soon.
Betsy M says
I am reminded of a quote from one of your books, or a maybe a talk I heard you give at the moorings in Naples, FL.
“Yo, Human! Pet me! NOW!”
That really sunk in for me.
Jennifer Betts says
Sending healing energy and light your way and sympathize with the difficult parts of the journey. And I learn something from your writings and your thinking every time I read your blog (book, etc.). The specifics of the tricky balance of positive reinforcement and human error really help me look at my mistakes. (And I’m thinking the dozens of greenie pieces Leon got last night when I had overnight good friend guests!)
Gayla says
I think you once described the dissolution of your first marriage as something along the lines of; “felt like one, long, cold, winter’s night.”
Your loss of Luke…
Your process through the writing of The Education of Will…
The recent loss of your sister…
Chronic physical pain is its own, unique torment. But you’ve weathered so many other circumstances, so many other times. This too shall pass, Trisha. This too shall pass.
MaryBeth Brown says
Oh dear! Your greatest fan here (you used my Weimaraner Cooper in a couple seminars in Ohio over 20 years ago) . I feel this so much. I have 3 wonderful dogs to work. I’m trying to be the perfect R+ partner. But I had a knee surgery 3 years ago that just made everything worse. I’m working hard on me and so very very slowly improving. It’s hard to perfectly heel when you’re limping and hurting. But I keep trying to run bird dogs and train in obedience and take care of my farm(50 adorable chicks and 2 horses needing me). I am much less patient with myself than I am with the animals. Sending you much joyful energy so that you can live life as you want!
Bridgette says
I recall all the years of company parties intended to reward our hard work and how punishing they were for those of us who are less sociable, more introverted. Add in ugly sweaters and they were downright aversive!
Glad you are surrounded by love. ❤️
Dina says
I do hope you figure it out and begin to improve. I have mild copd and am learning that it has already changed the things I can and cannot do!
As far as the positive reinforcement, I have a “fail”; whether it’s exactly the kind you’re referring to I’m not certain! It’s rather amusing to me but I am easily amused especially by my Bobby Lee! When he was younger he would steal my shoes and socks amongst other things. Management was easiest for everything but my flip flops or house shoes (because that’s what I’m always wearing around the house). He would actually tear them to pieces back then. I got tired of looking for him to trade for them so began working on “bring it to Mom”. I used that phrase for anything he had until he had it down cold. Toys were given back and my things (or trash) were traded for a treat and lot of silly praise. One day I was working at my desk and he stood behind me mouthing something noisily. It took awhile for me to notice but when I did I saw from the corner of my eye he was mouthing some plastic trash item he’d found, then he’d stop to see if I’d noticed and start again if I hadn’t. Once I turned to ask what he was doing he dropped it and waited expectantly for a treat LOL. This happens all the time now and he will usually grab something in an obvious fashion right in front of me just so I’ll say bring it to Mom and he can trade it for a treat! He’s older now and so generally leaves my shoes alone unless he’s doing it for attention which makes me laugh and so he gets what he wanted! And my other 2 dogs hear bring it to Mom and come running as well because they know it means a treat!
Katy Barsamian says
You are a treasure. Holding you in my heart and grateful for the gifts you share. Take good care of yourself.
Meg says
Please take time and grace to recover. Been down some bumpy roads the last few years most recently a fractured hip that has no explanation and no osteoporosis. All happened just after getting a new pup that I waited 10 years to finally get. We are surviving. My hip and my osteoarthritis are keeping me humble but forcing me to be more creative with training my girl. Your books, your advice and your blog have helped keep me going..all on a positive note.💗Be gentle with yourself it’s an excellent investment.
Linda says
Life never goes as expected. I retired last year and found out I needed a heart operation, then my knee went out & my back followed. I crawled around the house for a few days but I felt lucky I could still move. Thank God I have a cat that makes me laugh every day! You do the best you can with what you have. Advice from my 14-year-old border collie mix is to take life one day at a time. Hope your situation improves soon!
Amber says
Hello! As a fellow dog trainer and currently dealing with chronic fatigue syndrome/post viral syndrome and POTS I wanted to let you. Know about Dr. Learner and his studies in antiviral treatments for this. I have just started as my CFS is suspected to be caused because of EBV (which I have) something to look into!
It is definitely tough to go from an active trainer to having to bribe your dogs to enjoy more couch cuddles because you just cannot physically handle the active training activities and such. 💔 I hope you find what works for your chronic illness. Sending love
Frances says
Forgive me – I cannot resist a small brag! This morning Freddy shouted his “Come quick!” bark. After a brief discussion he asked again quietly and led me to the front door which had blown open. So not only did he manage to control the barking he resisted the huge temptation to run off on an adventure (no gates at the front) and came and told me instead. OK, he went out as soon as I had seen the door was open but happily accompanied me back in for chicken and was further rewarded with a wander round the estate on leash. I am so very, very proud of him, and for once we both got it right.
Carol Skalky says
Sending you all positive light and energy. You put so much of this good stuff out in the world, and now it’s time for it to reflect back on you.
HelenAndTheHounds says
Makes me feel all sort of warm and gooey inside to know that here is a community of people battling their limitations, human frailties and illnesses while striving to do the very best by their dogs and let them lead a life of comfort and assurance. And I get to be part of that.
Hugs to you all, may your dogs be very good dogs, and all our travails be eased.
Trisha says
I wish I could answer every comment, truly. I read every one, sometimes more than once. They mean a lot. “HelenAndTheHounds” says so much to all of us: “Makes me feel all sort of warm and gooey inside to know that here is a community of people battling their limitations, human frailties and illnesses while striving to do the very best by their dogs and let them lead a life of comfort and assurance. And I get to be part of that.”
I am reminded of the Buddhist mantra: Everyone suffers, everyone dies. You’d think that would be depressing, but it’s not to most of us. We are all human, we are all connected, we are not alone.
A reminder too: I’m not sure what I have yet. My EBV antibodies are off the charts, which correlates often with CFS and Long Covid. POTS test next week. Could be other things, still in “the probably but guessing” stage. I’m in that never never land that traditional medicine struggles with. Slow going, but, going. I’ll keep you posted.
I’m loving the comments, both regarding R+ and health challenges. Love to you all.
Trisha says
Forgot to add (yeah, did I mention brain fog?) that I WISH I could respond to every comment. Or, at least, lots and lots of them. But if I do, I won’t have the energy to work the dogs, or spend 30 min on my novel, or …. You get it. But, know I read and appreciate every single one. Every one.
Dana F says
Hi, Dr. McConnell. I feel for you and I feel *with* you. Post-COVID/Long COVID(?), internal shingles affecting the ear, the gut, and the facial nerve, crushing fatigue, clenched jaw, hips, knees, and feet from pain, brain fog…Victorian dowager is right! Here’s to a few good days thrown in. I am up for sharing notes on what’s helping or just to kvetch.
Terrie says
I had a Papillion who would apply reinforcement to me. She figured out that if she knocked over a glass of liquid, I could NOT ignore that behavior. So she’d jump up on the arm of the couch, start nudging the glass of water, check to make sure I was watching and either she got attention or I went to get some towels. She’s why when people tell me their dog is smart, my response is “I am soooo sorry.”
Christine Lovelace says
the snow will melt and the sun will shine again and you shall persevere!
Love the “pitfalls” thoughts. Yes anticipation is huge! After teaching “wait” for no door bolting, we have progressed to all 4 patiently holding back until I’m out 1st then an OK.
Your advice and books have helped me immeasurably over the years w many dogs. TY
Susan Chapman says
My best pal has POTS and it sucks. I’m so sorry you too are going through that. Hugs and all the R+ there is to you.
JD says
Always enjoy your blogs. Wishing you a speedy diagnosis (as the unknown is often the hardest to prepare for.) Be safe out in the fields. I am part of a FB group for cerebral spinal fluid leaks…something that can be extremely hard to diagnose even with specialists (NOT found here in Madison–our best luck was at Mayo Rochester.) But I digress–the group often posts about a strong correlation with POTS or POTS like symptoms. If your feeling fuzzy in concentrating–take an advocate along with to your appointments. If doctors are hearing all of your symptoms it will make it much harder to get you the answers that you need. It took me months to get proper care for my husband’s first leak. He was so tired all of the time, had bad headaches anytime he laughed or coughed or sneezed. For others in the group they spend years finding docs to listen to them. Unfortunately, he ended getting a second leak after the first one was finally repaired. Symptoms didn’t present with a headache, but his behaviors changed to mimmicking some frontal lobe dementia symptoms. They progressed as time went on–but he denied headaches nor realized himself his behaviors were changing due to the most likely the frontal part of his brain being dehydrated and slumping from the leak that is only now being detected at a few major hospitals around the world. Laying flat often helps folks feel better. The first leak was caused by a bone spur in his neck. The second leak was caused by a venous fistula–a faulty seal that allowed his cerebral spinal fluid to be leaked into his blood stream–many neurologists have even heard of them. Take care of you even if that means by allowing others to help you.
Zazie says
I’m so sorry you are sick, and hope you can get lots of rest and feel better soon. Thanks for a fun and thoughtful blog post despite all that. Take care of yourself!
MaryLynne Barber says
Ah, I am so very sorry that you may have to deal with some of those issues you mentioned. I have had fibromyalgia for over 20 years so I do know something about these “invisible” diseases. You may look fine on the outside, but you’re not. Anyway there is a website called Health Rising that is both a place for people with these various diseases to ask questions about symptoms and get support as well as a blog that covers all the research that is going on.
I have read many of your books and love your blog. You are such an inspiration to me and many others. I hope you get a diagnosis soon. It’s so very hard not knowing what is going on with your body. ❤️🐕
Kat says
Wishing I had words to express my sympathy and respect. I’m learning just how frustrating it is to not be able when it used to be routine. When I wrecked my shoulder at the end of November I apparently tore the axillary nerve in several places. These tears have the effect of making it like my muscle is partly paralyzed. The good news is the nerve will heal the bad news is that it will take at least a year. And that means a year or more of PT. I just got home from today’s session and can barely move my arm. It will be better tomorrow with a few millimeters more range of motion but in the meantime, Ouch.
I’m also discovering just how well Falkor Bash has trained my husband. After three years of working exclusively from home my husband is back in the office one day a week. It’s striking how quiet and well-behaved Falkor is that day. When my husband is home Falkor makes a pest of himself so hubby will buy him off with treats and chews. When hubby is in the office Falkor sleeps at my feet or hangs out outside with D’Artagnan.
Of course to be fair Falkor has trained me pretty well, too. I’m bored pay attention to me is expressed by grabbing books off the shelf and threatening to chew them up. Even though I know he’s doing it to get a reaction I keep reacting. Sigh.
Wishing you well.
Gillian says
It was so lovely to read your blog. I was directed to your website by an assistance dog training organisation as we are training an assistance dog for my little 7 year old girl and it was amazing as she also has POTS and ADHD. I have severe POTS also I have had it for over 20 years now. I wish you all the kindness towards yourself as you travel on this journey. We can observe so many beautiful things as we move slower… it certainly is a different life, God bless you, Gillian
Orietta says
We’ve just added a new dog to our family, we’ve adopted him from the breeder from which we got our other dog. His family after they got him as a puppy brought him back as too unruly (Labrador). What helped me more so far? Your book!
I mention this as an act of faith in the future, in the healing power of dogs and humans and our body. You’ve touched so many lives and helped so many people and dogs that I hope you can feel all the friendship, love and thoughts we’re sending to you. Imagine only that I mentioned to my husband (he is not reading the blog but I always quote him what I think he needs to know) that you were not feeling well and some days ago he asked me How is Trisha? He knows how much I feel attached to you even if we never met and I live in another continent (Europe-Italy).
Love
Orietta
Trisha says
Oh Orietta, I can’t answer most comments now, for obvious reasons, but this one just touched me so deeply. Thank you. And thank your husband, too. He must love you so very much.
Chris Redenbach says
I have several comments which I’ll write as I listen to your Rotary talk. You just made my dogs bark by the way! I’m so sorry you are feeling ill. I empathize after years of not being able to walk without pain and a cane and having constant fatigue due to thyroid and diabetes. Look to natural remedies and acupuncture/pressure. They have worked so much better for me than prescribed meds with their side effects. Now onto my comments on your talk. Somehow, I cannot imagine you having a murderous look on your face.
Coming when called is a special treat to teach and I ask my clients to rehearse a lot (without the dog)so that they look inviting and safe for a dog coming into their space. They need to practice not looming, not touching on top of the head and not trying to pet with both hands at once. They are always shocked by these details but,as you said, it makes sense after they learn to truly observe their dog.
I know you are discussing positive reinforcement but I’d like to mention how much I really dislike the constant interruptions people do in their engaged interactions with their dogs. They readily stop to chat or answer the phone without first giving the dog a signal that they are taking a break in the dog/person conversation. Otherwise it is just rude even from a dog social behavior point of view. And a dog who is left socially hanging like that can get very disappointed and punished and lose motivation for further engagement for some time.
Lastly, the seeking and dopamine. It is so fundamentally necessary on a survival level that if the hunt is unsuccessful, the organism needs to still have the motivation to begin hunting again despite exhaustion and the experience of defeat. I read once about predatory success of the wolves on Isle Royale that only something like 1 in 10 pursuits was successful. So the wolves become more tired and have fewer energy stores with each failure in a row, but if they don’t anticipate the joy of success enough to hunt again, they will starve. It’s an inspirationally evolved system.
Again, I hope you feel much better soon.
I notice that you request our websites. I want to comment on my business name, The Balanced Dog. I coined the name in the late 1990’s and it meant to me a dog living in balance with its family in the many important ways. But now so many give it the interpretation of the current annoying trainer ideology wars.
You have it in you to get better. I cannot imagine having you be too ill to engage with the dog behavior community.
Orietta says
I will, we’ve been lucky to find each other many years ago. Thank you to you Trisha for being always here for us, even in this moment. You’re family to us.
Jett Wyatt says
So sorry you’re struggling. Hope you soon find answers and ease.
I have 2 nose work stories of how I got R+ wrong. Rowan was an anxious dog but she loved nose work & got more & more relaxed as she moved up the trial ladder. But one day we had just an awful day – she couldn’t find odor, I couldn’t figure out how to help her, we just were not in sync. I realized that this had been coming on for a couple months. So, while crying on my way home, I thought about what I needed to change to support her better. First, she needed to be on-leash 100% of the time as off-leash she was getting conflicted between listening to me vs. searching independently. The leash gave her confidence because she didn’t need to make that choice. Second (and this is where my R+ fail comes in), I had been doing what SO many people do when they get to trials: dog finds hide, dog gets one treat and a “good girl, find another.” That was not enough reinforcement for Rowan! So for the rest of her career, she got told how amazing she was, how hard that hide was, how proud I was of her! Also more cheese, of course! But it made a huge difference for her to be praised and fussed over.
My other mistake was simpler. Tazer would find a hide, I’d give him his cheese & praise, and I’d reach out to pet him. He’d duck away from my hand. Only took a few times for it to penetrate my dense skull that petting him in that context was not rewarding! So now I keep my hands off him until we’re done searching and I am careful not to pet him on his head anyway, though he often likes ear scritches & nose rubs.
LisaW says
Since we could all use a laugh (or is it just me?), this just in from the New Yorker Humor:
Dogs Who Will Never Be the Same After a DNA Test Shatters Their Identity
https://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/dogs-who-will-never-be-the-same-after-a-dna-test-shatters-their-identity?utm_source=nl&utm_brand=tny&utm_mailing=TNY_Humor_042423&utm_campaign=aud-dev&utm_medium=email&bxid=5be9f5ac2ddf9c72dc878e09&cndid=43322580&esrc=auto_captionentrants&utm_term=TNY_Humor
(and yes, Kevin Bacon is still present)
Kristina Goetz says
I am, as usual, late to the conversation :), but upon reading your last two posts thought this might help lift spirits. I often find poring over a garden catalog, especially while stuck inside during snowstorms, promotes wellbeing. 🙂 Perhaps you have already heard of David Culp?
He is not only a snowdrop expert but also one on hellebores! 🙂 Can you imagine? 🙂
https://www.davidlculp.com/galanthus/
https://www.davidlculp.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/2022-Dormant-Bulb-List.pdf
Nic1 says
Trisha, am so sorry to read about your health suffering but encouraged that you’re investing in self care, self compassion and have a wonderful community of friends, family and health practitioners supporting you in your journey.
A lovely reminder of how we can utilise the premack principle too with our dogs.
Sending love and healing thoughts 💕
Rebecca Ruggiero says
This reply is “late” and so many have said so beautifully what all of us feel (especially Linda W). I add my thanks for your incredible contribution to the dog training/be a kind human/recognize trauma is real clubs: your voice has been a priceless gift. When I read of your health challenges I thought of our our three-legged cat, Barley. Four years ago our family got two “barn cat” brothers to address our rodent problem. These cats became beloved indoor/outdoor, coach-loafing members of our family, and one of my favorite things (ever!) was the meow of greeting one of the brothers, Barley, would give as he loped out of his beloved woods to greet us when we pulled in the driveway. Two Christmases ago Barley was trapped somewhere in the woods overnight in freezing temps and (miraculously) managed to free himself and come back home, but lost a leg to frostbite. He adjusted well to his limitation and is more beloved than ever, but his rodent-hunting, woods-tramping days are over. Life is so often bittersweet. Many well wishes to you as you navigate this stretch of your amazing journey. You are loved.