I’m going to break the rules here and start by saying what this post is not: It is not a post about how to deal with an “impossible dog.” Or one who is “dominant.” Or one who is “aggressive.” Rather, it is a forum for us to have a good laugh about all time times any of us, whether knowledgeable pet owners, dog trainers, behaviorists or veterinarians, have been asked difficult dog training questions in impossible situations. I was motivated to write this by, ironically, a wonderful question from a wonderful dental hygienist, who asked me a good, simple question and gave me my mouth back so I could answer.
(For the record, her question was “Is my dog really being dominant when he puts his paw on my arm?” Apparently many of her friends had told her that her sweet, soft, loving and benign Golden was asserting his dominance when he sat beside her, dewy-eyed, and rested his paw on her arm. (Answer: “Uh, no”.)
Her question reminded me of all the times I’ve been asked difficult questions in impossible contexts, like the time a physician, who was busy sewing up a deep gash on my cheek, asked me what he should do about his dog, the one who had just bitten the neighbor child. I said “Mwwake aaayn awwpawwmen,” which was my best version of “Make an appointment.” But what I was really thinking was . . . well, never mind what I was really thinking.
There’s something about dog training that elicits both great interest and what I can only imagine is a certain amount of dismissal. On the one hand, people seem to be fascinated when they hear that I, and my colleagues, are behaviorists or dog trainers. “Oh, wonderful!” they say, their mind full of images of us romping in fields of daisies with Golden Retriever puppies. “That’s exactly what I’d do if I wasn’t a __________” (fill in the blank). This is a wonderful response though, right? I love it when people care deeply about animals, and are interested in our profession.
“But say,” they continue, “what do you think I should do about the fights between my two female dogs? They are litter mates and . . . ” This question was asked of me while I was inside a stall in a public bathroom. I gave her the only answer I could. “I’m sorry, I can’t answer now. I’m pooping.”
Thus, this interest is a mixed bag, motivated by something we all cherish–a love of animals, but sometimes accompanied by a misunderstanding of how complex behavior can be, and that serious behavioral problems can’t be solved with a one-line piece of advice tossed out on the fly. I should add that things are much better than they were: Dog training as a profession has made tremendous strides since I first started seeing cases in 1988, which is just flat out wonderful. I’m sure that will continue.
I should add that I learned years ago that the best answer to “just one quick question” is: “I’ve learned that quick questions rarely have quick answers. It sounds like this is important to you, why don’t we talk about it in my office?” (With obvious exceptions: As in, the “quick question” from my hygienist indeed did have a quick answer, and I was glad she asked.) I’ve also developed a lot of empathy for other experts, whether veterinarians, physicians, attorneys, plumbers, etc., . . . all of whom I’ve heard being asked difficult questions by strangers while trying to get on with their life. Like boarding a plane. Or at a buffet line. Or, perhaps, while pooping in a public bathroom.
However, people being people, we are always going to get asked “just a quick question,” and I thought it would be fun to share some of the most bizarre situations in which you’ve been asked for advice about a behavioral issue. I don’t want this to get snarky–there is no need for it to be. We can all have a good laugh about the difficult situations we’ve been put in, while being compassionate and benevolent to those who asked. It could be, perhaps, that you were the one asking a question years ago that you now realize was impossible to answer at the time. We’ve all done things we regret now, right? Don’t hesitate to include, if you’d like, stories about absurd attributions of dominance. Like the dog in the photo below:
Please send in your stories, they’ll give us all a smile or a laugh. Always important, and especially now, right?
MEANWHILE, back on the farm: Well, finally! It actually feels like winter here. I’m writing this on Sunday the 19th, looking out the dining room window at 5 + inches of snow and 5 degree (Farenheit) temperatures. It’s lovely.
I keep trying for a photo that highlights the beauty of shadows on snow. I haven’t gotten the one I want yet, but here’s a step in the right direction:
The downside, of course, is that it’s not great weather for working sheep. Maggie is not aware that our working days are over for awhile. Please don’t tell her. She’ll pout. So we’ll go back to trick training and chew toys and walks in the woods until it gets a tad warmer.
It is still dark much of the time up here, and so I’m especially happy with the bulb “garden” I bought from White Flower Farm (my guilty pleasure, along with King Arthur Flour). It’s in full bloom right now, and I get to savor it while I work. Here are a few of the flowers:
I know some of you are unable to enjoy the winter weather, because you got bombarded by snow and violent winds. (Or you just hate winter, perfectly reasonable, said the woman who often hates summer.) Here’s hoping all is well with you and yours. Do send us any stories you have about questions in awkward places (or those killer ‘dominant’ paws).
Be safe out there, friends, and have a wonderful week.
Bruce says
In the pre-dog park era we had a dog play group that met every evening after dark at a public park. The dogs were all reliable off leash, came when called, and knew not to run up to other people or dogs. This play group went on for years with no problems.
Our main worry was getting an expensive ticket for having dogs off leash. The primary concern was bicycle police, who could appear silently out of nowhere (remember, it was after dark).
One evening the dogs were playing off leash when a bicycle policeman suddenly appeared and asked to speak with us. Thinking “Oh crud” we called our dogs, put them on leash, and walked over to the officer.
Officer: “I noticed that your dogs were well trained. I am having trouble with a new dog and wondered if I could ask you a quick question?”
Us: [whew] “Of course, officer, what can we do to help?” [double whew]
Moral of the story: Sometimes being asked a quick question beats the alternative. But, to be fair, we were not in the middle of pooping.
j says
I once lived in an area whose culture was that dogs generally lived outside because they were too destructive and dirty to be allowed inside. They were typically purchased as cute puppies to teach the children “responsibility.” The poor puppies ended up being banished to life in a small wire enclosures or on a chain when the jumping, mouthing, and other behaviors were no longer seen as cute, as there was no idea of investing serious time or any other resource in them (rabies vaccinations were sold unbundled, so no one would have to pay for vaccinations they did not want, for example. Veterinarians distinguished among their client bases by asking where did your dog sleep). My neighbors were fascinated by my young Aussie, who was a total sweetheart and who had excellent manners. They couldn’t get over the fact that she was allowed in my house and slept in our bedroom on her own little bed. I was often asked how I trained her to be so good. Where do you even start? Maybe she did serve as a little bit of an ambassador, and maybe a few people, after meeting her, looked at the dog forgotten at the end of the chain or in the little pen with new understanding of the possibility. I hope so. Sorry. Not a funny story. But one I often ponder all the same.
Trisha says
No apologies necessary, thank you so much for sharing this story. Such an important one!
Trisha says
Love this! And know that I am restraining myself from the dozen or so comments I would love to make regarding your last sentence. Just saying.
Heidrun says
One of the most difficult quick questions to answer in dog training might be “How do I stop him (_insert unwanted behaviour_)?”.
My first dog was barking/lunging at other dogs when on leash. I wanted to stop that and have nice long walks with a nice and friendly dog. Not today, but tomorrow. Or at least next week.
I remember like yesterday when I asked my first clicker dog trainer the above-mentioned “quick question” and received an incredibly long e-mail. Not answering my question at all (my thoughts at that time).
This was so frustrating: to read that I couldn’t “stop” it but should train an alternative behaviour instead. And he gave me very detailed instructions what to do until our next training session.
I’m truly ashamed today that
– it took me quite some time to understand what he meant
– it took some more time to really get into this kind of training
– this wonderful trainer (who was a voluntary trainer in a non-profit association) was giving a whole new world of dog training to me. For free. To an owner who just had wanted a quick solution to a complex problem.
(Writing this I just decided to sit down and write that grateful “thank you”-e-mail I should have written 20 years ago instead of debating and pestering him with more questions.)
As a physiotherapist for dogs I am frequently asked if I could take a look at this dog and tell why she is limping. The quick answer to that is: Probably because she is in pain. Please go and see your vet. I’ll be there for you and your lovely dog when she has had a thorough examination.
But sometimes we’re lucky and just have to pull out that nasty little thorn and all is well.
Charlotte Kasner says
My “not dog time” includes singing with the Royal Choral Society. We perform in major venues with internationally renowned orchestras and it enables me to keep my hand in following transitioning from professional performing to being a canine and feline behaviourist and trainer (different kind of performing!)
I was two steps away from being on stage when a fellow soprano tapped me on the shoulder and said “I’ve got a problem with my dog, can you help?”
There was really only one answer that I could give at the time: “Not right now, no”.
She never did take me up on my offer of help when I was able to reply.
ELAINE says
I’m a nurse. My practice is in pediatrics. My favourite impossible question is ” The doctor just started me on a medication for my blood pressure. I can’t remember the name of it, it’s a little purple pill. What do you know about it?” Ummm.
Gale says
Hi Patricia,
Could you help me find the article you did about white eyes? I did not get to read it all but can not find it on your site.
Timaran says
Um…I don’t have a story and am by no means an expert on dog training, but I do have a “quick question.” What *is* the dog doing when he puts his paw on your arm? My Ronan does it all the time when I’m sitting on the couch. He comes up and sits quietly beside me and then rests his paw/forearm on my arm. I think of it as similar to “holding hands” (too anthropogenic?) but I’ve always been curious as to what that body posture is actually telling me. Thanks in advance for any information. And I loved the stories!
Elizabeth Dougherty says
Good morning! I love reading your posts, and can sympathize with being asked all those quick questions (as the daughter of a lawyer, sister of a mechanic and physical therapist).
I do have a comment about this post… I also empathize with any owner worrying or being told to worry about how to interpret certain dog behaviors. After a particularly difficult dog year, I’ve read and learned more than I ever knew in the first twenty years of dog ownership about aggressive and dominant behavior. I’ve learned that we were probably just very fortunate that our first two rescues were as well-adjusted as they were, given my lack of knowledge about what questions to ask and things to do to help a rescue adjust to a new home. But once we went through raising a puppy from a distressed litter who was dominant, aggressive and ultimately not fit to live in a family home (according to multiple trainers and our vet), when we got the dog we now have, I was constantly over-analyzing every behavior, every movement, every look — is this normal, or is this guarding/aggression/dominance, etc. My awareness was a little too heightened, which made it really difficult for me to know if I was reading his behavior accurately. Luckily, he is a wonderful, calm, tolerant, sweet doggo. But I continue to over-analyze nevertheless, so I empathize with any dog owner who’s been told a certain behavior signals trouble, and isn’t quite sure what to do with that information. No silly questions when you don’t know the answer …
Wisconsin Mary says
I think this applies to all areas. People often ask “quick questions” but don’t see that they are breaking a boundary. I do try to respect experts’ rights to a) private time when they might not be “on call,” and b) respect their rights to be PAID for their expertise. I see so many people who abuse the situation. Years ago, our pediatrician was one of our dear friends. He was forever being asked professional questions during his off-duty/personal time. Of course he was always gracious, but he told me once how frustrating it could be…standing in the supermarket line, having the parent of one of his patients come up to him to ask a question about little Johnny or Sally. Give the man a break! He didn’t go to med school for this…he’s got a right to a private life. Call for an appointment!!
Trisha says
Ah, great timing, hey? Reminds of the time, decades ago, when I was about to walk to the post with Cool Hand Luke and someone came up and said “Say, did you ever get that gripping (biting) problem solved?” (Luke would grab at sheep if he panicked when there was a lot of pressure.) So that was the last thing I had on my mind as I walked to the post.
Trisha says
Ah yes, the purple pill. The small one. Reminds me of “Oh Patricia! Hello! I haven’t seen you in years! Don’t remember my name, that’s okay, I was the one with the Black Lab.) And now is when I confess that I too have forgotten the name of some medication and struggled… Mea culpa. (In a similar vein, book sellers and librarians “I don’t remember the title or the author but the cover is blue and green.”) Note that I relate all this with heart felt compassion, because at 71 my memory is not what it used to be and I can just see myself asking a similar question some day. Let’s just hope it’s not tomorrow.
Trisha says
White eyes? Did you mean whale eyes? If so, just type that in the search field on my blog and it’ll come up! Or did you mean dogs with light eyes, as in blue ones? Then try “blue eyes”. Let me know!
Trisha says
Absolutely no silly questions. And a good reminder that one never knows if a simple question has a simple answer or not. I’ve learned, when asking something myself to say “This might have an answer more complicated than you can address now, but can I ask you a question about _____? If this is a bad time just tell me how best I can schedule a time to talk to you about it.” That’s the formal version, my more casual version is “I have a quick question that I think has a quick answer. Can I ask and we go from there?”
“
Trisha says
I love this question! Here’s the answer I gave my hygienist: It could be a lot of things–it could be done to get your attention, it could be a solicitation to play, it could be done to “hold hands,” and it could be done to get you to move that amazing paw you have and get more petting! That all depends on context and the dog, but it sure as heck isn’t a sign of dominance. I didn’t say that I also believe I’ve seen a few dogs use it to stop someone from moving their hand/arm to do something the dog doesn’t like, but I think that’s relatively rare and I’m just guessing. (One of my dogs would put her paw on my arm when I was about to brush her butt, which she hated.
Nancy Freedman-Smith CDBC says
I might win this one.
I was having radiation for colon cancer, face down on the table, nakid ass up in the air. 3 times a week for 5 weeks I gave training advice to a revolving door of health professionals.
JetttheBC says
Cool Hand Luke. I like that. Very clever.
Trisha says
You win, hands, and face down. Ass any which way. (And, I’m so sorry, I hope you are well and doing great now.)
Karen says
I have to laugh about the paw on the arm thing, especially with the pictures because the rest of the dog’s body language certainly tells the story. And I have to write this comment because while I was reading the other comments my 12-ish lb. fur companion got tired of waiting for me to get up. She has learned that the only effective way to get my attention is to insert herself between my face and my iPad. If I don’t immediately react, she then licks my nose (and glasses), and wags furiously. I then have the option of playing “What does Melody want?” where I speak keywords and when I say the correct one, she will lick my nose once, then take off towards said request (usually outside or food, sometimes toy).
It’s not annoying enough for me to take the time to attempt to train it out of her, but the timing this morning was just so poetic.
Now… I don’t want to derail these comments, but I can’t figure out another way to ask… would one of you awesome behaviorist people be interested in a small fee to try to interpret some behavior? Nothing needs fixed, and my “local” behaviorist options aren’t quite local enough. I’ve got video of some, shall we say quirky, behavior that none of my non-professional “experts” have been able to interpret. Some of it might be some interesting blog fodder… *wink* Don’t post, just send me an email: kmustang at frontier dot com.
I have greatly enjoyed this blog, please don’t stop!
Susan says
I’m not even going to say what I was going to say (dental hygienist / counter surfing)
after that winner.
Ronda Warywoda, CPDT-Ka, UW-AAB says
I questions all the time. The last time it was “out of the blue” in an odd situation I was on the phone with tech support because our internet wasn’t working. As she was rebooting something from her end she started making chit chat and asked what I do. The next thing I know I’ve got the full run down on her chihuahua that keeps unzipping her sofa pillows and destuffing them as well as opening a closet and removing one of each pair of shoes to chew whenever this lady was busy or sleeping and unable to engage with the dog. I didn’t get my internet fixed but she did get several tips on how to keep her dog from getting bored and destructive, LOL.
Diane Pellowe says
Ha! I just had this happen a few days ago. A dog owner in my building stopped me because she knew I’d worked with dogs. She explained her dog and a neighbor dog were having loud, lunging reactions when they saw each other in the building. She asked, “How do we get them to like each other?” Oh! If only it were that easy.
Fortunately, she was very open to my suggestion of speaking to the other owner to arrange a schedule so the dogs just wouldn’t meet up!
Lorraine says
I am a wildlife biologist. One of my favourite phone calls was ‘hi, something just ran under my shed. Can you tell me what it was?’
Shelley says
The paw thing… Last night I was sitting on the floor petting my dog, and I thought about the advice to stop every few seconds to make sure the dog still wants to be petted. (I don’t always remember to do that.) So this was us:
Me: *pet pet pet* *stops*
Senna (my dog): *looks at me, leans in*
Me: *pet pet pet* *stops*
Senna: *looks at me, leans in*
Me: *pet pet pet* *stops*
Senna: *reaches up with his paw, wraps it around my forearm, traps my hand against his body*
Me: *pet pet pet pet pet….*
The look on his face was priceless. “Listen, lady, are we snuggling right now or not??”
LisaW says
I am by no stretch of anyone’s (including my dogs’) imagination a knowledgeable enough pet owner, but people who know me understand it is a subject near and dear to my heart, and I’m constantly thinking about methods and results and gross national happiness. So, I do get asked the occasional question to which I always refer them to your website or your books or this blog. Most (not all) glaze over if they think it’ll be too much “work.” They do want a quick answer, and I don’t have one.
I’m in the field of development/fundraising/grant writing, and if I had a nickel for every time I’ve been asked how such and such a group can raise money fast, I’d have enough money to donate to their cause! And don’t get me started on the long-term effects of the “Ice Bucket Challenge” on sustainable fundraising.
Love these stories (especially the visual Nancy Freedman-Smith painted). Hysterical.
soyoung kim says
no story about dog training, but i just had to say that each photo with “dominating paw” commentary had me laughing so hard!! :o)
Laura Anne says
Such a good topic. And, such good reads from commenters who are professional trainers! Which I am not. But, here is what has happened:
Walking my dog, meet a neighbor I do not know. She stopped a statement, looked at me and asked, “Are you a dog trainer? I can’t get my dogs to behave like that.” No, I train my own dogs, but go to a dog trainer to learn how, which I told her, nicely as possible.
Regarding the paw thing-My big Aussie boy has always pawed us to get us to rub his chest, not other parts of his body. I mentioned to the rehab vet that he does this, and her response was, since his hind end hurts (he’s dysplastic in one hip) he uses his front end more than normal. His pectoral muscles are between his front legs, and massaging them is likely a relief for him.
And a question from me: A trainer (whom I don’t use) told me that he doesn’t allow his dogs to scrape dirt and leaves after they poop, because they do this to spread their scent and be more dominant. HUH? I have never heard this from anyone else. Have heard that this is why wild animals cover their scat (but, always see coyote scat around, so evidently they don’t care.) IIs either explanation true?
In the South, missing having snow.
Deb McGrath says
I was having my annual physical when the doctor asked if I felt safe at home. A normal question among other questions asked during one’s physicals nowadays to provide an opening to explore issues which used to be ignored.
I have never been concerned when asked, but this time around I was because this question had already asked. Silly me forgot that I had a few bruises on my legs from a few overzealous Labs who are part of our pups and peeps play dates. When I explained how several of us get together on a regular basis, and that some of the Labs are “a bit less well schooled” in their greetings, and sometimes forget to put on their brakes when jumping out of the car and racing over to say hi, she just laughed.
Funniest part was the moment I said Lab, she continued to laugh and asked how I trained my own Labs to stop jumping up on people and would I mind helping her train her adolescent boy! Gotta’ love dog people! 🐾🤣🐾
Trisha says
Spit take! Did you answer? Would’ve been fun to make something up!
Margaret says
I use the hospital’s staff overflow parking lot for training/proofing quite often–it’s large, mostly empty in the evenings, and next to a bike/walking path with lots of dogs passing. I have never cleared this through the hospital administration; better to ask forgiveness than permission, right?
So one evening I had jumps set up and was working Elly when the shuttle bus dropped off a couple of employees by their cars and then headed straight for me. Driver gets out and says, “I wanted to ask you about how you train. I used to train dogs in the military. Every time I see your dog her tail’s wagging, and I see you giving her stuff out of that little pouch. Does that really work?”
Short answer: yes. Long answer: as long as you like.
P.S. I still train there. He didn’t rat me out.
Diane says
I am not a trainer…but have learned a lot (hopefully correctly). Maybe real pros have great stories about crazy questions in crazy situations. But when you don’t have credentials and someone ask you “can dogs get depressed?”….I felt honored, if not outright scared. Of course, I advised I was not a behaviorist by any means, and of course, there was no time to discuss anything. I was asked while outside walking and they were on their way somewhere else. I knew they recently had twins babies, I know their dog was dog-dog aggressive….way out of my league. I answered dogs could get depressed, and make sure you give your dog good attention and love when the babies are present. Years later, I know the dog is great with the children (stating this does not mean I had anything to do with it), and I hope there are no signs of what the owners considered depression when they asked the very complicated question! Albeit, their dog is still dog aggressive :(….I’m guessing that wasn’t the source of the depression question (or hoping it wasn’t because then I really don’t know what I’m talking about :))
Kat says
Two questions I got asked about Ranger have continued to stick with me. One of his regular visits as a Therapy Dog was to an after school program. A little girl wanted to know why he was so clean. Simple answer of course was because he got baths. I’m still wondering about her concept of dogs though that a clean one would prompt the question. The second question was from someone as I walked Ranger around the upper deck of the ferry when we were on our way somewhere. They wanted to know how I taught him to be so good. Another quick answer, natural aptitude on his part and a few thousand hours of training from my end. I think the thousand hours put an end to the questioning.
The paw on arm question made me laugh. D’Artagnan was at our vet getting bodywork today. He adores the chiropractic massage and every time she’d pause in order to shift so she could reach a different part he’d paw her in a gesture clearly intended to say, “don’t stop.” He had a couple small issues when he came to live with us so I started him with that vet right away to make sure nothing I did with him made them worse. He’s in good shape now and won’t be back to her for six months (unless we do something very wrong). He’s just going to have to put up with my far less skilled efforts in the meantime.
Trisha says
Love this story! Thanks for sharing it.
Trisha says
The famous Pyr Paw? Tulip would slap her massive paw over your arm the microsecond you stopped petting. I’ve never questioned our ability to translate it!
LB says
Reading through all of the comments was such fun! Thanks for sparking an interesting thread.
Not about dog training but on the ‘quick question’. Prior to retirement, I was a technical assistant in an office. Part of my job was to answer questions from technicians on how to process a case and to refer them to written procedure when necessary. More than once as I was getting ready to leave for the day, sometimes already wearing my coat, someone would appear with a ‘quick question’. They never were quick; my computer was turned off so I couldn’t look up a reference if needed; but more important, my brain had also logged off from work. Not once did anyone ever say, ‘I see you are getting ready to leave. I’ll make a note of my question and ask you tomorrow.’
Trisha says
Sometimes I think the coat is a trigger for a question! We need to do some conditioning…
Frances says
Those questions must be the joy of every profession. I started out as a librarian, and recall one day, back in the days before computer records, when a colleague was asked the archetypal question – “My friend read a lovely book… I think it was green?”. To my huge admiration, through knowledge of the enquirer, her friend, their tastes, and recent stock acquisitions it took him less than 10 minutes to find her the book she wanted – and no, it wasn’t green!
One of my own favourites was when driving with a colleague to an important meeting with customers. I was picking my way through a particularly tricky motorway contraflow and junction when absolutely out of the blue he asked “Tell me, where do you see [the company we worked for] in 10 years?” WTF does not begin to describe my reaction!
Trisha says
Librarians rock!
Jenny Haskins says
Re hands on arms:
My Sillee Sallee (German Shepherd) was very very shy and did not like strangers touching her. When they tried to, she would put one of her hands out to keep them at bay.
I took advantage of this by teaching he to “shake hands’ and from then on if people asked could that pat her, I’d say, “Ask her to shake hands.” The people were delighted and though she is still shy she is no longer afraid 🙂
Both Sallee and her litter brother, Ironbark, like to hold my hand when in line at Dog Classes. I find it sweet.
I find it so sad that anyone would interpret a dog reaching out to touch you as “dominant’. I see it as very much a subordinate behaviour.
Judi says
Not a bad timing story, but a “dominance” story. Over 20 years ago I took my first Aussie to her first (and last) “traditional” training class (jerk & praise methods). This dog was accurately described by the shelter where I found her as somewhat timid. My instructor told me she was a dominant dog because of her behavior when we were practicing heeling in class. My dog would forge if we were headed roughly toward the door and lagged when we turned around and headed against the door. Yes, I’d say she wanted to leave, but it was more that she found the method (and me) unfair than bending me to her will. We switched to clicker training after that class and were both much happier.
My current Aussie boy will put a foot (or his mouth, very gently) on my hand if he dislikes the way he’s being handled. Think brushing or combing and accidentally yanking a tangle.
Barb L Stanek says
A few years ago, I bravely agreed to be the “resident expert” for 2-3 hours in a local store during “rescue dog week.” I would be in this store and answer questions as needed for people who came in. When I agreed, I thought to myself, “So how bad can this be? I’ll just hand out a lot of business cards. It’s only 2 hours.”
I was right for the most part. I did hand out a lot of cards with wording like, “We should really talk about this when I have more time than I do right now. Why don’t you call for an appointment?”
But one of the clerks came to talk with me as soon as I got there. Her brother who lived in a neighboring state had just adopted a 6 month old lab. In an effort to manage the lab’s energy, the brother was running with the dog for 3 to 5 miles a day! This was an easy question. I simply told her to tell her brother to stop that exercise program! It was the rest of the story that took longer and ended up with, “Why don’t you have your brother call me and we can discuss options? Here’s my card.” Hopefully, the brother figured it out!
Kim Laird says
Nancy wins! Wow, sure hoping you are doing super well now and not having to go through all that, er, exposure anymore. Great story.
My favorite question, “I would love to get a JRT! My friend’s JRT is SO cute. What do you think?” The second one is, “My dog is doing X, that means he’s dominant, please tell me how to stop him from doing it…. ” The third is my next door neighbor with his first dog. He’d hired Bark Busters to help them train their dog. He tells me how to train mine… so I ask, “how long have you been training and is he your first dog?’ I tell him my background (always had a dog, started training ours at the age of 9, read a lot, go to a lot of seminars, etc. etc. I study this! He says, “My dog is perfectly trained. Well, when Rosy runs around, she’s just running for no purpose at all. When my dog runs around, he’s running for a reason…… ” I wanted to ask him what psychic powers he had to determine that our dogs were running for any reason apart from sheer joy or just chasing something….. I howled with laughter, which didn’t help the situation any. LOL. But most questions I get asked, I say, “What do you mean by dominance? What specific things are an issue for you?” and we have a conversation from there. Asking people to clarify always seems to help. I don’t do this for a living, but I do get asked lots of dog questions. By everyone….
Trisha says
Sounds to me like you could quit your day job. Just saying!
Paul says
Regarding a dog putting their paw on you. I interpret it the in the same way as when a child does. They are looking for reassurance & affection. Any person with dogs worth their salt will interpret it as such. Dominance is an absurd notion propogated by dodgy trainers for their own purposes.
Anne B says
In two of the paw pictures, the nails were about twice as long as would be safe for a performance dog, so I’m guessing they might be saying, “Hey! Could I get a pedicure here?”
My neighbor with two out-of-control Min Pins once asked me over the fence about when I was going to breed my two Aussies. When I told him both were neutered, he was surprised and disappointed. “Your dog’s are so well-behaved that I wanted to get one of their puppies.” As if he would have been a candidate!
sarah todd says
Ok I could recount enumerable times , I’ve been stopped in the supermarket or at the post office or bank by a well meaning enthusiastic client who wants me to spend 15-20 mins discussing their dogs progress or lack thereof..also many who have not become my clients but know I am a dog trainer who solicit free advice at every “opportunity” .
All a product of living in a rural area where for better or worse we all know our neighbors and somehow everyone seems to know I am a dog “person”.
OKAY I take those occasions in stride….my absolute TOP of the charts for bold , inappropriate query about someone’s dog was at a dear friends Funeral!
I have a client who on our first consult disputed the amount of time I had spent with her , wanted to pay me for a 90 mins consult when I had done a 2 + hour consult. Ok I accepted payment for the 90 mins . Clearly not the best start to a relationship. Then she developed a habit of calling for check ins ( which I do for free) on such a regular basis and would go on for 30+ mins each call that I had my guard up about her and it was endless always asking for more and more and not paying for all my time.
I did send clarifying email to her to explain that my time was my time and my income and I would be charging her for future contact.
Fast forward a few months later a much beloved both bot of us , spiritual teacher passed away.
I spoke at her service and after we gathered in the retreats Welcoming House , many faces of folks I had seen before but may not have known. I was watching a video presentation of my teachers life and was approached byb a woman….at first I did NOt make the connection bc of the context of meeting her.
She interrupted my viewing of the vid ( I was tearing up watching it) no intro or words of condolence instead , she just started into a rant about how well and poorly ( yes both) her GSD was doing, she stared peppering me with questions about training and behavior mod…seemingly indifferent to my very real tears and sorrow…well I answered her first question or two ..when she barreled on I did finally Say …Excuse me BUT I am not here as a dog d trainer BUT Im here to honor a dear friend and spiritual teacher..OMG how clueless ?
Jennifer Farischon says
Your post reminds me of this BBC One video: https://youtu.be/QXxd816okIQ
Jen says
A little late to the party, but I just happened upon this post and wanted to add my own nugget of amusement.
My boyfriend and I met when he brought his baby Golden Retriever to my puppy kindergarten class, years ago. It was his first dog, so naturally, he had much to learn. I fielded a lot of questions from him that, while often posed at inopportune times, were relatively normal. The one exception, however, came when I had to stare deeply into his terrified soul and explain- on our third date- that the “abnormal” growth he felt on his dog’s lower abdomen was, in fact, a nipple.
The answer to his “quick question” was indeed, quite quick, but my laughter was long-lived and wild. I think in the end, his question inconvenienced him more than it did me.
Trisha says
Thanks for the laugh. And the reminder of the time, a million years ago, I called my vet because some weird pink thing was sticking out of my Saint Bernard’s belly. Yeah, I really did do that.