Photo by Steve Dahlgren
Dogs play more together when being watched, a research result I’ve been fascinated by since it came out in 2021. Maggie, playing with Skip in the photo above, is the poster child for this phenomenon. She’ll stop, look at me, pointedly. Why? We all know I’m just guessing, but I get the distinct impression that she loves my attention. But is that it? And, is it just Maggie? First, the study:
Researchers Merkham and Wynne set up three conditions for familiar dogs to play together in: The dogs played together when owners were watching attentively, were present but not watching, and were not present at all. The dogs played significantly more often in the first condition, evidence of the “audience effect.” Karen London wrote a great summary of this study in Bark magazine, reminding us that other studies have found dogs and wolves play more when humans are present, but hadn’t accounted for the “attention” factor.
This study, done by the way-cool Canine Science Collaboratory at ASU, went out of its way to have two conditions with owners present: one in which owners were distracted and not paying attention to the dogs (I see you, dog park owner), and another in which owners watched the dogs play with interest. As stated earlier, owner attention significantly increased the amount of play seen in the dogs.
There are many reasons why this could be true. Perhaps the most likely is that attention itself is a reinforcement. I find myself thinking of all the times I’ve heard “Mommy! Look at me!” from some adorable child at the playground or a friend’s living room. Granted, we all are on guard against anthropomorphising inappropriately, but we also lose a lot by assuming, as was often done in the past, that if humans do it, we should assume that animals can’t. Given the social, cognitive, and emotional abilities of dogs, it seems a likely reason for the “audience” effect.
The authors mention attention as a reinforcement along with other possible explanations–increased physiological arousal from attention (possibly congruent with reinforcement I’d argue), other kinds of reinforcements (owner joins in, or takes dogs on a walk afterward), or–and I like this one too–the attention of owners provides a sense of safety.
All of these could work together to reinforce an increase in play between dogs. There’s no question that I’ve intentionally reinforced play between Maggie and Skip. Their play sessions provide a great deal of their exercise. We live on a beautiful piece of land in the country, but you can walk all around it in 20 minutes, and just walking and sniffing is not enough to keep working sheepdogs fit. That’s part of why we encourage them to play, by clapping and shushing to keep them engaged. Mostly they play tug, which is great all-body exercise in some ways, and also hard on their necks. That’s why we have a monthly veterinary chiropractor appointment, which I think has done wonders for them.
There’s another reason that I encourage it. I love to watch dogs play. Love, love, love it. When one dog can’t play because of injury or illness, I miss it greatly. One of the reasons my medical adventures and Chronic Fatigue have been hard for me is that Jim does most of the dog walking now, so that I have energy to work them on sheep once a day.
I’m sure I’m a factor in Maggie’s tendency to look toward me sometimes during play. (Note: Skip never does, it’s just Maggie.) That gets me wondering about all of you in the village. I’m curious about your experience. If you are in situations in which you watch two familiar dogs play together, do you think they play more if you are paying attention? One dog and not another? If so, are both you and your dogs getting reinforced when you watch? Can’t wait to hear what you have so say.
I can’t end this without making my pitch for letting dogs PLAY PLAY PLAY. Not to mention you too! It’s such an important part of the lives of both people and dogs. As Karen London and I say in the booklet, Play Together, Stay Together, “Play is fun, but don’t be fooled into thinking it’s just goofy or frivolous. Play is powerful stuff, and it has a profound influence on your relationship with your dog.” Turns out that’s true, even if the play is between two dogs and you’re “just” a spectator.
MEANWHILE, back on the farm: I ran Skip in the Crook and Whistle sheepdog trial last Friday, and things didn’t go as hoped. In his first run, Skip alternated between not being himself, or being the worst version of it. He did an okay outrun, but then stalled out behind the sheep and didn’t “lift” them up for an endless minute and a half, while I uselessly whistled and encouraged. Then, he behaved as if I wasn’t there, followed the sheep hither and yon, and orbited around the sheep so far away that he had no control. I finally left the post to put an end to our misery but had a heck of a time getting his attention.
I have no idea what was going on, but this is the dog who won “high in trial” at the last trial. I considered not running a second time, but decided to give it a go and just retire the moment things went south. This time he listened perfectly, did lovely “outwork,”–great outrun, “best lift of the day,” someone said (though a tad slow still), excellent fetch. But then he stalled out on the drive and I left the post to back him up and help him out. He picked up the pace and finished well, but, of course, we got RT for a score.
Some of the issues happen on occasion, especially “stalling out,” or lying down and not pushing the sheep forward. Skip, the star of the “Suicide by Fence” series, because he runs into things like a train with no regard to personal safety, is Mr. Caution when it comes to working sheep when he’s not sure what to do. But, totally ignoring me is inconsistent. Compliance is his middle name. His behavior got me thinking again about sensory issues related to his vision and hearing. He’s never run at this trial, and it’s a confusing one for lots of dogs. It’s full of distractions, both visual and acoustic, especially from the highway that runs behind it. When I took Skip out on the field and asked him to look for sheep, he kept following white vehicles as they moved across an overpass in the background. I’m thinking of having some tests done, I’ll keep you posted. (And, of course, the next time I worked him in a big field he was paw perfect.)
What was most fun at the trial was seeing friends, watching their runs, and spending time at the Sheep & Wool Festival in Jefferson that the trial is a part of. You all know how much I love color if you read my posts often, so you know I loved looking at all the wool for sale:
I didn’t expect to see lots of bright colors in the sheep pens, but here you are:
Nor did I expect Jane Fonda leg warmers on some of the sheep, but they were all over the place. (Protecting the fuzzy wool at the end of the leg that isn’t shorn. Any sheep showers reading this who can tell us why this one part isn’t shorn?)
News at 11!!! I walked a mile one morning last week. A MILE! That’s a huge accomplishment since the beginning of my medical adventures. We walked up one of the hills at Morton Park, where Jim used to do the mowing, and let the dogs off leash for a photo shoot. I swear I didn’t pose them.
After we came home, I discovered 5 Monarchs feeding on our New England Asters (native to WI, in spite of their name). I haven’t seen as many butterflies as usual this summer, so this was a welcome treat. The one below is a female (no small black spot on the underwing), and on her way to Mexico from somewhere up north. Good luck, you beautiful thing, you only have about 2,o00 miles to go to get to your overwintering area. Miraculous.
Last one: One of my too wonderful nieces, Annie Piatt came for a short visit on her way to a conference this weekend. It was pretty much heaven to see her. Here we all are; I had to use this photo because of the one in the background! Look familiar?
Let us know what you think about the “audience effect,” and if you see it in your dogs. Meanwhile, spend some time playing this week, it’s good for us!
Frances says
That is fascinating research. Thinking about my two I am not sure whether they play more when I am watching – if I am not present I don’t know whether they are playing as I don’t have cameras, etc, and when I am present my role is often to be the killjoy saying “Play quietly” and getting an old-fashioned look from Freddy for whom Play and Quiet are mutually exclusive! Sophy (now nearly 15) taught Freddy (2) to play by her rules when he was a puppy and their games of bitey facey in the house and running and wrestling out on walks lift my heart in just the way you describe, so no doubt I have encouraged them although they don’t seem very aware of me when playing. Games seem more the result of a sudden overflow of pent up energy, usually instigated by Freddy and going on until Sophy calls a halt. In the early days I supervised to ensure there was no bullying but he is very good about listening to her and she has no inhibitions about putting a firm paw down when necessary so now I just enjoy the fun, until it gets just that bit too noisy!
Martin says
Ria is much more playful than Nanuk – maybe because she’s only sixteen months old, while he’s a bit over seven years old. She often tries to harass him until he play with her. Unfortunately, it works all too often: He’ll “tell her off” in a way that ends up with him playing with her. Snarling, feinting and chasing can be play elements, too, and a very tense situation turns into a game. This generally happens while we are watching, but only because it’s more of an outside thing and they’re always supervised there.
When he’s clearly not in the mood, a human will often intervene and play with her instead. But once everyone else is playing with a tug toy, he generally decides he wants to join in, and soon only the dogs are playing. Here the humans play an essential role, but it’s not just a matter of paying attention.
Sometimes they’ll also roughhouse on the bed. While they have recently started doing it while we’re all hanging out there, they usually do it precisely when we’re NOT paying attention. That is, when they tried and failed to get a human to entertain them, they’ll entertain each other.
When I had Dolce and Drifter, they would only play indoors when no one was watching, but I think the reason was very different. They were both golden retrievers (25-27 kg, 55-60 lbs) and could easily knock over things and break things if they were too rough inside. Thus, the humans would actively interfere when they noticed. This lead to very quiet mouth-wrangling on their part. Ria and Nanauk are both 11-12 kg (25 lbs) and tend to stay on the bed while playing, even if they rear. That means there’s less risk of someone/something getting hurt, and so the humans don’t interfere.
As Dolce and Drifter were always supervised outside, I don’t know if human attention lead to more playing.
Sydney says
Is it possible to reach Patricia with a behavior no -problem question? I’ve tried to research it with no success-and our vet had never heard of it.
Patricia…Our miniature poodle (16 mo now) does what we call”the tongue push thing”. He licks our hands, and then lays his tongue on the hand and pushes and holds it there for a few seconds. He’s done since we brought him home.
I thought you would know the origin of this behavior !
Thank you
Charlotte Kasner says
Not about the audience affect but a note about the importance of matching play style in dogs. I have an extremely energetic, bold 10 month old Aussie (can’t wait to get him on sheep!) From the very first he has always been full on and not in the least deterred by the size or age of the other dog. It was rather startling to see that in a 10 week old pup.
I live in a dog-dense, suburban area with lots of inexperienced owners, untrained dogs and cockerpoos and similar small dog crosses. When the poor breeding, lack of socialisation during the critical period and genetic tendencies towards lack of reliance are mixed with no training, the effects can be that these dogs scream as soon as they see another dog that is not the same size and, more often than not, the owner scoops the dog up and berates me.
On the other hand, my puppy had a whale of a time playing with a much older, tiny Pom and they both just matched each other. Equally, he has played with dogs three times his size and weight.
Understanding play and emotional signals is vital for owners but rarely taught. Understanding vocalisations is important too as so many people start yelling and grabbing at their dog when they hear play growls.
I am really pleased about this research because it will help me to reinforce owners for paying attention to their dogs and explain why just leaving them to it will not achieve what they desire to anywhere near as good an effect.
Helen says
Fabulous photo!
The play scenario got me thinking as I have a standard poodle who adores being chased. We used to walk with another 6-8 dogs – we fine tuned it so we were always on the move, and usually through water- my other two (a bichpoo and mini poodle) would chase him and most of the others would join in.
Now we have moved away and have few appropriate doggie friends and my other two won’t chase the standard anymore- we don’t have safe access to a good place.
Very occasionally Lenny the Liability gets lucky and the mini poodle will chase him. If I encourage him to “get Lenny” he goes even crazier.
Hm…a lot of backstory for an almost on point anecdote. 😁
Janis Bradley says
I speak all the time about the benefits of embracing anthropomorphism with regard to dogs, but yours is just the best, most succinct statement about this I have yet seen (“Granted, we all are on guard against anthropomorphising inapprpriateoly, but we also lose a lot by assuming, as was often done in the past, that if humans do it, we should assume that animals can’t.”) I hope you won’t object to my stealing it–with credit, of course.
Carole says
Every Saturday, my oldest son brings his (Cattle Dog/Pitbull mix) Axle, to play with my (Husky/Pitbull mix) Jax. I have a huge yard. They live in a townhome. My family calls Saturdays ‘Jaxle Day. The two of them play for hours, racing around the yard and playing tug with the large balls on ropes. I have definitely noticed that they get even more excited when I am out there watching. If I’m observing them through a window, I can see that they are having fun, but when I’m outside with them, their play ramps up, and they both will pause and look at me. I have even thought their behavior reminded me of when my kids were little and would call out “watch this, Mom!” Also interesting is the behavior of my Chow mix, Dusty. Jax and Dusty are inseparable, but she is older and has bad hips and knees. (My vet opines she was probably hit by a car and was not treated properly before she became one of my ‘foster fails’). She does not run, but at the beginning of this play date, she follows the other two around for a while before laying down under a tree. At the risk of anthropomorphizing, it always seems to me that she is jealous of ‘her’ Jax having so much fun without her.
Sandy says
I’ve noted for years that my dogs always play more when I’m present and also when I’m distracted on my phone (much like a toddler wanting full attention!)
A friend who has a Doberman is interrupted by her dog every time we talk on the phone.
I’m hoping the play together with human present will work in my favor during this time while my Newfoundland is needing rest for a CCL injury. In that she won’t be trying to play while I am not there to supervise.
Molly says
Oh yes! My daughter’s dog and mine play endlessly together. Nonetheless, when I go out in the backyard with them, they play longer and often, it is what starts them up. My dog is the one who needs the audience. My daughter’s dog would takes his cue off of my dog so I go out there, mine responds and off they go! This often will slow down when I come back inside. Both Aussies.
Elaine says
I love this post about play. I have a Beauceron that will actually stop in the middle of play with the Golden Retriever and do a look towards me. What I think is interesting is this. When I call the dogs in for breakfast and they all head to “their spot” , if I don’t move fast enough they stop and look back to see if I am coming. Or they (especially the Beauceron) will come back and circle me and head out again; They are checking to make sure I did not fall and break a hip, which means no breakfast!!
Chris says
I have experienced the “audience effect ” for many years. Having a 4 to 6 pack most of my life with Bearded Collies, King Charles, Terrier Xs, Poodles big and small, sometimes I would get lost managing all as they would divide themselves into their favorite play groups. I managed my time with each of them doing competitive sports; herding, obedience, rally, agility, scent work activities, according to what turned them on.
Now I’m down to two, a Beardie and a Cavalier and now I’ve slowed down to smell the flowers! They make me laugh and the more I giggle the more they offer goofy fun behaviors! Checking back with me to see if I’m still watching. LOVE my dogs!
Chris Johnson says
Absolutely agree that there’s an audience effect of some kind. Though my own 2 dogs will often start playing together if I’m busy in the kitchen and not paying attention, my dog services business included doggie daycare for 15 years and whether we were indoors or outside in our fenced acre, if we stepped out of the building for a minute or went back indoors we’d return to find all the dogs lying at or near the door/gate. Once we were back the play would begin again. This does happen outdoors with my own dogs as well if they’re in the fenced field. I’ve always chalked it up to “where’d the human go?” and “yippee, they’re back!” The one exception was the Tuesday howl. We had and English Pointer in daycare that would start howling whenever you’d leave the room, which would set up a cacophony of howling. Can’t tell you how many times I would run back from my attempt at using the bathroom to settle everyone down just to have it happen again. My staff and I finally got to the point where we’d just laugh and continue to the bathroom! Bonus was that we had several dogs that would then howl on cue from us. Such fun.
Gayle Watson says
Previously, mine would stop playing together the second I walked into the room. Play with mom beat play with each other. Current pair have been playing more with each other and youngest will even play on his own! I keep quiet so as not to distract. Intend to gradually add my quiet attention when they play. I too love to watch it.
Trisha says
Not stealing Janis, just cultural evolution! I love things being passed around.
Trisha says
Helen: “Lenny the Liability?” Best laugh I’ve had today.
Trisha says
Sydney, re “tongue pushing.” I haven’t a clue! Some kind of self soothing? Anyone else seen this?
Cathy Balliu says
The sheep shearing question: legs don’t get shorn because there tends to be more dirt down there that can dull the blades faster. Also because it’s waste wool – not long enough or dense enough to be used for anything.
Most of my current dogs play by themselves with toys or play the chase game or I’m working you game. Occasionally I catch 2 of them playing together but as soon as they see me, they stop as if embarrassed to be caught. I wish they played together. I miss bitey-face sessions.
Lois says
Our dog wants to be near when he plays, very near, even when there is an entire field available! He and his friends are rowdy and intense in their play; switches from kangaroo-boxing, mouth-wrestling, and mad running happen fast, and sometimes at close range. Perhaps he wants to feel safe in my proximity; perhaps he wants to be sure that I see how much fun he is having.
Trisha says
Ah, Cathy B, thanks for the sheep stockings question. Makes lots of sense. And, have to admit, the ones without the socks looked pretty darned cute.
Lynn Ungar says
Mine definitely want me around to witness their play. I have joked that when I come home they say “Thank goodness you are back so we can chase each other!” In the case of (young) Kinzie with (old) Piper, Kinzie prefers to have me actually involved in the game so that she can play bitey face from my lap. I certainly see this as a safety thing–Piper believes that puppies should be disciplined firmly, and somewhat at random, so Kinzie wants backup to make sure we are still having fun. But if Kinzie and Tesla are chasing each other around the yard at top speed and I step inside they quit the game, and there are no safety concerns at play there. Except for my safety concern that they will crash into something, which they don’t seem to share.
LunaGrace says
“Suicide by fence”! Of course! I didn’t realize it had a formal name. When it was just the Karelian Bear Dog and I, hiking the trails, sometimes on the local rail-trail, he would frequently get a case of the ZOOMIES and go flying (detachable red cape optional) back and forth, from field to field, up around behind me and back down into the tulies. One day, I could see his path was going to launch him into 4 foot high grasses with a “4 square” fence through the middle. I tried to warn him off but he hit that fence with a WHAAAAANG that resounded up and back for a quarter of a mile. Next thing I heard from him was the “few! … few!.. few!” that comes from sitting back, shaking the head, while vowing never to try THAT again! Yeah that’s totally spot-on descriptive.
Then I was down to a pack of the old KBD, myself, the cat, and a young, energetic Icelandic Sheepdog. Morning routine up until the day the old dog passes was to go out in the backyard in the morning, take care of business, and come in for a wrestling and chase session. Which became shorter and shorter in duration until we were just down to 30 seconds before the KBD had to go lay down for a nap. Always accompanied by lots of glances my direction to make sure I was watching and appreciating the action.
Now, with just the cat left to play with (hey, you gotta take your friends where you can find them), she and the Icie still manage a brief wrestle-and-chase every morning. But the all-out favorite playtime comes when either the Icie or I initiate the game of “SPEEEEEEED PUPPY!” Always with a gravelly edge to the voice like John Fogerty or Rod Stewart. She loves nothing better than to run-and-bark-and-run-and-bark so revels in the chance to fly through the house (again, cape optional) making a one-bounce off the bed before circling around through the kitchen-living room-dining room-entry- laundry and back again. Too fast for the cat to join in who becomes the fun police and tries to stop the flying.
Margaret says
As you mentioned that “attention may provide a sense of safety “I thought back to my first dog ( an entire male )who could spot a male dog from across a park and run towards it to have a fight. However as he ran he would check over his shoulder to see what I was doing and if I hid from him as he took off he would stop and come to find me. If instead I was following to try to catch him he would speed up and the fight would start. It was as if I was his wingman/ safety net!
Shana says
Hobbes is an only pup but definitely plays more with friends when we are paying attention. I mostly notice it at our agility classes where he and the other dogs have the focus of all the owners watching them. Hobbes is something of a character and will sometimes do things that draw more attention and maybe laughs (like pausing at the top of the a-frame to peruse the scenery or jumping on top of the chute (when they were still being used), to interact with the workers at the scoring table during a competition).
Gerry says
I’ve seen many dog’s reactions to be related to their prior learned behaviors. Those very social with both people and dogs could well play more when actively watched. However, a number of dogs feral or scared of people (but not other dogs) will be entirely the opposite.
I’ve seen quite a few of them immediately stop any play when they see me present. Even after the prior ferals were coming to me to solicit affection, it took considerably more time before they were comfortable with my even being there during wild play. And, even then, I’ve never noted their play changing with my attention.
This speaks to the difficulty in drawing general conclusions from similar studies, as many have dependencies that have not been qualified. However, few studies attempt to further qualify their results, and many people just take them generally.
Carolyn says
I’ve seen the opposite with my dog and my neighbor’s. If we are each in our backyards the dogs ignore each other – maybe a little sniff at the fence, but nothing more. We have witnessed more than once the two of them play bowing and interacting at the fence line when no humans are around. It’s rather cute.
Jennifer Fleck says
I am going to second your idea about safety with a sample size of one. One of my dogs, who is more likely to be bossed around by his brother, definitely initiates play more often if I am around. I can’t play too much attention though, because if I do, his brother (who generally prefers people to dogs and acts as if I should pay attention exclusively to him) immediately races over to invite me to play.
Julie H. says
I’ve had two pairs of border collies (all females) that almost never played with each other, but for sure NOT if a human was watching because they would much rather play with a human/toy thrower.
Love “Suicide by fence”! I always say the BC motto is “Safety Last”.
The tongue push: I’ve seen it when a dog is licking and then just pauses (thoughtfully?) with tongue still in position.
Geri Yaccino says
Our puppy play sessions keep us sane and in shape. Tripp and Dubbs, 9 mos. and 7 mos, LOVE romping and chasing and tugging every several hours throughout our days. Nap times recharge their batteries and give us some peace. Our older golden, Cru, has slowly but steadily deigned to participate, which warms our hearts.
GREAT PIECE, Trisha. Thank you.
Jennifer says
I have 2 rescues, a 90lb now 10 yo Great Pyr and a 62 lb 8 yo GSD Husky mix. We adopted the second dog specifically as a play-mate for the Pyr as she frequently asked for play with the humans but we did not have the moves! They wrestled and chased from the first greeting at the foster home. Now play time erupts after our evening indoor training session and they both LOVE an audience. They also will get into rowdy play immediately after greeting visitors. That scenario seems to have more of an arousal component so we have trained alternative reinforcement so visitors walk into a more calm setting. We love to watch them play!
Cindy k Jensen says
Trisha and Sydney… YES. Two of my dobies have done the same thing with tongue “sticking.” Just last night my dobie did this before we went to bed. She does not lick me very often but it always seems to be at night, before bed and while relaxing. We always called it getting her tongue “stuck” which really did not seem to bother her and she stopped shortly after. Sometimes it was a slow drag across the arm and almost seemed like a sooting thing to do. Both dogs were also pillow or blanket suckers and would also suck on the object like nursing and their big doberman paws would knead on the material too. Just like nursing mama. Dobes are also known to be “flank suckers”, and my Dobie tries that but just ends up biting her leg and that is not what she needs apparently. Never destroys the material but just sucks on it and prefers only a certain material.
Tails Around the Ranch says
When Norman was still alive and if there was any play with Elsa, it seems as if I watched them they stopped and came racing over to view for my attention. Still, some very special memories came from being discreet around them. 😉
Big time congrats on walking a mile! That’s ‘wagnificent.’
Diana Wheeler says
Cindy, Trisha and Sydney,
I have a “tongue-pusher” too! We have always wondered about our Lacy’s funny lick. She likes to lick her humans (especially right after a good massage or belly rub). And then she’ll slip in a tongue-push. I’ve always thought the licking appeared to be self-soothing or perhaps a return of the affection she was receiving but it’s still a mystery to me. Here’s a twist, though: for about the past year, if you let her continue to lick for a while, she will start air-humping. while still licking. Any thoughts? (It’s not a problem, as she’ll stop if you gently tell her, “That’s enough,” but it is quite curious.)
Trisha, I love those sheep in colorful jackets! Such a great shot. And thank you for all your beautiful writing.
Kat says
D’Artagnan and Falkor Bash play differently when they have me as an audience. We hear them playing outside racing, chasing, and wrestling without an audience. When I’m outside with them they want include me in their play. If I cheer and encourage they’re delighted and will escalate their play because I’m “playing” with them. If I’ll actually play, moving quickly and/or grabbing at them it sends them both into high gear. The more I’ll participate the bigger the play gets.
Frances says
To go with your mile: I am following my physio’s advice to get down on the floor and up again regularly rather than avoiding it because of the struggle, and today I got up without holding onto anything! Let’s celebrate the small milestones!
Chris from Boise says
Our two border collies don’t play with each other – incompatible play styles, alas. On the rare occasion that our older one incites play, he watches to be sure we’re on guard as referees to call off the young one when she gets over-aroused, which happens within about 15 seconds (sigh). Not a relaxed mutual play session. But we’re dog-sitting a pair of male herding dog mixes who are best buddies, and who spend a huge amount of time romping with each other. They pretty much ignore us. I don’t know if that’s because we’re not family (though we know them well and give them lots of quality time), or if they’re so bonded to each other (and fairly ignored by their owners – think typical backyard dogs) that humans are just less interesting.
I’m going to start watching for this when I’m around other dogs playing – it’s not anything I’ve thought about before.
Trisha says
Frances, I’m cheering you on!!!!
Donna says
This is so interesting. Relatedly — not play between dogs but rather a single dog playing with his toys — we have noticed that our boy (golden/chow) chews and disembowels stuffed animals much, much longer if we pay specific attention to him. It’s a huge difference. If we’re nearby (we hang around to make sure he’s not eating the stuffing — he doesn’t) but mostly ignoring him, he gets bored pretty quickly.
Cecile Lardon says
My Siberian huskies definitely play more when I watch, but only at home. When we’re somewhere else they just do their own thing, even when I make lots of approving/encouraging noises. So context matters.