Some of our neighbors put up Christmas Holiday lights two weeks ago. Jim followed suit, thinking why not do it when it’s warm outside? I’ve long been a bit of a grinch when it comes to starting the December holiday season long before we’ve eaten the last of the Thanksgiving turkey, but this year I’m all in with lights and color and everything else joyful that we can manage. (I’m not alone, apparently tree sales are already booming.) As we all know, it’s going to be a challenging winter. (As if things haven’t been challenging enough.)
Anything and everything we can do to lighten our lives is a good thing, and we know that one way to do that is to give to others. And so here is my starter list of gifts that we can give others, knowing that the benefits of giving accrue mostly to us.
DONATIONS There are a whole lot of people in a whole lot of hurt right now, and the best gifts we can give are to help them out any way that we can. The trick is to figure out what you can afford, and where to help. There are so many ways to do this: For example, I’ll be writing a check to our local food pantry soon—what is more basic than needing to feed your children? (Jim and I have donated to Second Harvest, as well as volunteering on occasion; you might search for local food pantries in your own areas.) For years my sisters and I have donated to each other’s favorite charities in lieu of sending gifts. A good friend sends money to Heifer International in all his friend’s names, providing a life-giving farm flock to needy families around the world. And of course, your local animal shelter or rescue group desperately needs all the help it can get right now. If not money, perhaps food, or toys, or some volunteer time?
FOOD My favorite part of the holidays is creating baskets of homemade food for our friends. When you are our age (Jim and I just turned 72), the last thing you want are more “things.” I carefully check the “Please don’t send me a blanket/bag/T shirt with a panda/whale/bird on it,” and sigh (or curse, let’s get real here) when it comes anyway. But food? Oh yeah, never enough of that. In year’s past I’ve made up baskets of Butternut Squash soup, crusty French dinner rolls, wild plum/apple butter sauce, and Jim’s famous Christmas cookies (get in line, he could send us on a trip around the world if he sold them). This year I’ve made my own catsup (thank you Rick!) and put it in vintage glass jars. A good friend gives us her yummy sourdough English muffins (talking to you Harriet), another (thanks Renee!) gives us homemade soap which is heavenly. (Okay, it’s not food but . . .)
Our friends with dogs get homemade doggy biscuits added to their baskets, always from Liz Palika’s The Ultimate Dog Treat Cookbook. My favorite recipe, a simple one, is Chunk Chicken and Sweet Potato Treats (page 6):
1 ¼ c small pieces of cooked chicken
½ c small pieces cooked sweet potato
2 c all-purpose whole wheat flour
1 c evaporated lowfat milk
½ tsp salt
½ tsp baking powder
2 large eggs
Preheat oven to 350, mix all ingredients, drop by rounded tsp onto greased cookie sheets, bake 14-18 min til golden brown, let cool.
Of course, you have to know your friend’s dog—some can’t eat one or more of the ingredients, but you can riff on this recipe easily. Better yet, make up the treats, order the book and give them both to your friend or family members. Perfect.
Another way to gift friends is to give them gift certificates to local restaurants that do take out. Many of us, me included, miss restaurants deeply, desperately, and have already seen beloved, locally-owned cafes go out of business. Any way we can support them, and other local business, is a good thing. Pet related? Sure… pet owners need to eat too, right?
THINGS Okay, I’ll admit, there are some things that either we really need, or that light up our life and enhance it in some way. Or both, even better.
Number one on my list then, is custom-made masks with the wearer’s dog on them. Practical, fun and very, very good for all of us. (You can add any photo for that matter. A person could get very creative here, just saying.) Last year I mentioned custom made socks with pet portraits on them, still a great idea. As a woman who goes through socks as if at a dead run, socks are always welcome in my house, and funny or happy ones are cherished.
Dog toys are always a great idea, but you have to know what kind of toys the dog actually enjoys. High on my list right now is one of the Tearribles, a toy with heavy duty Velcro that allows your dog to rip and tear to her heart’s content . . . and then you put it all back together again. But, it comes with a CAUTION FROM ME. (Yeah, I’m actually yelling.) If your dog tends to ingest parts of dog toys this would be an extremely dangerous toy. Maggie and Skip have never shown an inclination to do anything but rip things into shreds, leaving the butchered pieces lie around them as evidence of their predatory victories. I’ve had this toy for months now, and unlike the plush toys that are in rags within hours or days, our Tearrible looks little different than when it came. It’s a Christmas miracle.
My favorite cat present of 2020 is the Katris cat nest. I’ve talked before about how much Nellie and Polly love it; they literally lay down in it within minutes of its assembly. I should note, however, that they use it less now that it’s cold, which makes sense because 1) it’s on a cement floor in an unheated garage, and 2) they have a heated kitty house that is much more fun when it’s below freezing, as it is as I write. But it would be perfect any time of the year for indoor cats. Honestly, I’ve never seen the cats so fond of something new so fast.
On the other hand, your cat might want a resting place that is a bit more high end. Here’s a link to a rattan, elevated cat throne that would look impressive in any room. I can see a lot of cats thinking it’s just perfect. At $138, it’s suitable to those of you with deep pockets, a friend who would truly love it, and a cat who would appreciate it. It is gorgeous, I must say.
A good friend recommended a company, MIXPIX, that makes “photo tiles” that you can attach easily to the wall and mix and match whenever you want. It sounds like a great way to create a photo display of your pets, that you can then update whenever you want. The photos are 8” by 8” and attach with magnets on the back of the photo and affixed to the wall. Thanks Melissa, sounds like a great idea!
BOOKS You can probably imagine that my favorite things are books. High on my reading gift list is Karen London’s great new book, Treat Everyone Like a Dog. I wrote a post about it earlier, and think it’s going to be a classic. Best part? It’s suitable for anyone and everyone, unless they live in a cave, and have no need to influence even their own behavior. I also loved Ken Ramirez’s 2020 book, The Eye of the Trainer (also worth its own post earlier this year). I’ll read both of these books over and over again for years to come, so be sure to get copies for yourself. Another book that is worth looking at is Lili Chin’s book, Dog Language. I haven’t seen the book itself, just photos of some of the illustrations, and I see why there is a buzz about it. It’s a great gift for a first time dog owner, or someone whose had dogs for years but perhaps could use a primer on understanding canine visual signals. (I should mention that there are a few labels I wouldn’t use myself—not sure the “angry” dog is really angry for example—but these are quibbles and over all, it’s a wonderful addition to families with dogs.)
As always, my preferred place to look for dog books is Dogwise. I’m not objective in the least—Nate and Jason and Jon and Kristy distribute my books and I consider them my friends. That said, they wouldn’t be friends if I didn’t think so highly of them. Because of our work together I’ve gotten to know them, and if there was ever a family business to support, this is a good one. They often have substantial sales right after Thanksgiving, so you might want to check back then. So many great books out there now, and best of all they, have gift certificates available.
Okay! That’s a start–now I’m turning it over to you. What are your favorite gifts to give? (Or get, what the heck, maybe your friends are reading comments!)
MEANWHILE, back on the farm: It’s gun season now, so walks off the farm (and even on it) require some precautions. Skip and Maggie were rocking their orange collar additions on our walk this weekend in Brigham and Blue Mounds Park. No gun hunting in either, but we still kept them close to my Blaze Orange parka and our bright orange hats.
The woods are a testament to the variety within the color brown, along with this fantastical hut someone began building. I love thinking about who started it, and where they are now.
On Sunday I had the pleasure of meeting Ollie, a Llewellin setter pup. He is adorable, full of himself and has a nose that just won’t quit already. I sort of wish I could send you a video of his owner Ann and I chasing him down to pull a stinky, rotted dead mouse out of his mouth. But then, maybe I’d rather not. We were successful however, stamina and determination won out.
Here’s what I get to look at through the kitchen window. It’s not the best photo in the world, but I feel so lucky to look out the window at sheep living in a healthy environment. And now that I look at the photo closely, what are they looking at? Now I’m curious . . .
Here’s hoping your week is full of curiosity too. May we all have a lot to be thankful for, no matter how big or how small.
j says
My border collie produces piles of soft, silky, long-staple undercoat. I brush it all out, mix it with wool from my sheep, and spin it into a tough 3-ply yarn for socks- very durable, with a lovely bloom like cashmere. Very warm, too. I’ve made knitted things from the fur of my friends’ dogs to give them as gifts, too. Why let all that hair go to waste?
Trisha says
j, knitter of Border Collie and wool socks: You have some very lucky friends!
Betsy says
My husband and I do something similar to your gifts. We also live on a farm and my husband enjoys canning jams and jellies, apple and peach butter, salsa and relish, etc. He makes several kinds of candy, as well. At Christmas time we buy a bunch of galvanized buckets and fill them with homemade canned goodies and candy, my homemade soaps and caramel corn. Finally, I decorate the bucket bales with greenery from our pines and cedar trees. Driving around to drop off these simple gifts from our farm has become our favorite Christmas tradition! Merry Christmas to you and all your family!!
Wanda Jacobsen says
Our long-legged Irish terrier Quinn looks like a deer when bounding through our woods, so he gets his blaze orange neck-warmer on before going out during deer hunting season. He really can resemble a deer…sans the white tail. He likes wearing his ‘collar’; when I pick it up, he walks over and stands perfectly still while I put it on. Good dog.
Amy says
Wanda, hello from a fellow IT owner! I’ve thought our Grady looks like a deer too…this breed is so agile and fast!
chloe De Segonzac says
My very favorite for people who love dogs is the book by Denise Fenzi ‘Conversations with Raika’
It is such a beautiful love story. Denise runs an online dog training school and I had read some of the stories for a few years and loved it then. It witnesses the so very special bond in the later years of a dog and his/her human. It will make you cry and laugh. Just delightful.
Charlotte Kasner says
Buying training! I offer gift certificates for taster sessions and longer courses. I find it useful for sceptical owners who think that they know it all or who are using aversive methods. Showing them some R+ techniques in a quick session that they feel obliged to use because it was a gift can be really helpful for their dogs.
BARB STANEK says
I’m a fan of giving to charities in the name of beloved family and friends. I often request such gifts for myself when asked.
This year I found a backyard foraging calendar (nothing scary in it!) that was the perfect family gift! Hopefully, everyone in my family will need one more calendar.
I’m checking out the indistructable toys!
Anne Johnson says
I am a fan of both Ken and Karen’s books as well. Think of it, I picked up a copy of “For the Love of a Dog” at my local Bookman’s yesterday as a gift. My mom, 87 and living with me now, is knitting everything in sight. I have several scarves for every need. I’ve asked for caps for the dogs, like the ones with ear flaps that tie under the chin? Let’s see if those end up wrapped for the pups Christmas morning. Can’t wait for Thanksgiving as we have a turkey thawing in the refrigerator. Since we can’t get together with many, we will try for Pie on the Porch. Blessed Thanksgiving to all.
Laura says
Hi everyone,
I really, really hate to drop a bomb on this joyful post, but your comments, and this wonderful blog have meant so much to me over the years, and I need dog people right now. Today, my heart-dog, Seamus, died suddenly. Hemangio Sarcoma came like a thief in the night, and he is gone. I feel as if I’ve been hit by a car, as though, as many of you have described many times, as though the air has been sucked out of the room. I’m trying so hard right now to be ok, but it’s so hard, moment to moment. I just wanted everyone to know what had happened, and I still hope that everyone has a good thanks giving.
Trisha says
Oh oh oh Laura, I am so sorry. I lost my Misty and first Gr Pyr Bo Peep to hemangio, and both times it was out of nowhere. Please know that all the dog people reading are with you, you are not alone, and we are surrounding you with love and understanding. I’ll give a howl for Seamus on the morning dog walk. Hugs.
LisaW says
Laura, I am so very, very sorry to hear about Seamus. I know the pain many times over, and none of my dogs have been service dogs and best friends. Words fail. Please know we are crossing our paws and sending our love.
When you are ready, try writing that six-word story for Seamus (https://www.patriciamcconnell.com/theotherendoftheleash/six-words). I’ve done it for all my dogs, and recently a friend of mine suggested I illustrate them, and she will bind the pages into a shadow book. I love that idea. It came about because I asked my friends to send me their six-word story of gratitude, and I’ll compile them and send them back out to everyone tomorrow. It’s all I could do right now.
Trisha says
One more thing to you Laura, relative to feeling ‘like you have been hit by a car.’ Remember that’s exactly how your brain is recording this–in the place it processes pain. So ask yourself what you would do if you had just had major surgery, or a serious injury from a car, and take care of yourself with that in mind. Wish we could all give you a hug.
Laura says
I’m glad I can type with a screen-reader, because the tears are making it hard to see anything right now. They are tears of gratitude for all of you. I’m a little better today. I think sleep helped, and Tricia, your knowledge of the brain and how it processes things was so very helpful. I am eating better today, but my wonderful husband Adam, is taking care of the daily tasks. When I knew what I had to do, I called him and asked him to put away all of Seamus’s things. I still can’t look at them, and yet, I can’t let go of his collar.
I keep it beside my pillow.
I keep getting questions from my family, well meaning I’m sure, but they’re all wondering the same thing. “When are you going to start looking for another dog?” I’m not mad at them for that question, but it’s still such a hard question to hear. It’s weird, but I had already put an application to a Guide Dog school into process, and today, an instructor called me to set up a home interview. I told him what had happened. He didn’t mind that I was a big sack of tears. I told him that, if he said he had a dog right now, ready to go, I would say no. He completely understood, and said I could take as much time as I needed. We have a plan in place. I’ll give him all of my information, and we have an interview set up for next week, but then, he’ll hold my info until I’m ready. My point is, it seems as though the instructors understand what I need more than my entirely well-meaning family.
Like I said, It’s a little easier today, and I’m letting myself feel the way I do, from moment to moment. I’m remembering to eat, and take my meds, but I spent most of the day sleeping, so I’m again so grateful for the advice about self-care Tricia. Today, routine is helping. I’m cooking my great grandmother’s dressing recipe today, and that is helping. I didn’t think I’d be able to go through our little thanks giving at home with out him, but I’m just going to let things happen, and if cooking helps, if watching the dog show on NBC helps, I’ll do those things.
So, again, thank you for all of the wonderful support, and I’ll be sure to let you know how I’m doing.
Kat says
@Laura, My deepest sympathy and condolences. I’ve loved your Seamus stories. It’s funny how much dogs I’ve never met have grown to matter to me through this blog. I’m imagining Seamus romping and playing with Ranger, Otis, Willy, Jack and so many more. And all of them being looked after by my wonderful Veterinarian who I learned yesterday has also passed away.
Be gentle with yourself and do take great care. Traumatic losses like this are trauma and take time for recovery.
Jane says
Laura – I am devastated for you. Sending light and love.
Tamasin says
Laura, I’ve enjoyed and learned from your writings here over the years and join everyone sending you messages of care along with my thanks for your observations and wisdom. The one thing that has helped me most through grievous loss is feeling that the dear dog who had to leave me also left behind his/her slot as a gift for another animal and would be glad to know a new dog can experience the joys of unbounded love in a good home. When the time comes (grief plows its own furrows), what a lucky guide dog you will have. My guess is that the wonderful Seamus would approve. Please know I’m one more person thinking of you.
Laura says
Again to everyone, thank you so much. At Kat, I have enjoyed your stories about all of your dogs so much over the years. I was actually heartbroken when I had heard that Ranger died. And Trisha, oh Willie! I cried when I heard about his diagnosis and death. Yesterday wasn’t so good, I had panic attacks and we didn’t eat our Thanksgiving dinner until very, very late. Both of us are grieving together, and so that is a very interesting experience. We are trying to be there for each other as much as we can.
Out of all of this, I do have one interesting question for those of you who have a working relationship with your dog. When you lose that heart dog, Tricia’s Luke for example, how do you separate the feelings you have for the most wonderful of dogs, from what made them a good dog in general, to what made them a good working dog. I have to look at the answers to this question because I will have an interview for another dog soon. Does this question make sense? I thought perhaps it would be a good blog post. There are so many things about my Seamus that I am going to miss, and lots of them were wrapped up in his guide work, but they were also part of his personality. For example, I loved how intuitive he was, and that was both in his guide work, and just in life. Should I ask for that in a new dog? I’m pretty confused right now, and so I’m wondering how the rest of you have handled it.
Melanie Hawkes says
I’m so sorry to hear about Seamus, Laura. I’m not blind, and don’t currently have a service dog, but have a retired assistance dog called Upton. I can’t answer your questions, but will try.
When I got my first assistance dog, it was an amazing feeling. Suddenly I wasn’t just ‘the girl in the wheelchair’. I was the girl with the dog! I could do things I’d never done before, like pick up dropped items and open the fridge! Unfortunately he had behaviour issues and I sent him back after 15 months, and it broke my heart. Not because I missed him as a dog, but because I went back to being the girl in the wheelchair again who had to ask for help. It was a big adjustment.
And it will be for you. I have had 2 other dogs since, and found it helpful to write a list of what you want and don’t want in a dog. No dog will ever replace Seamus, but the guide dog association will do their best to get you another for when you’re ready. I hope that helps. Good luck and take care.
Lili says
Hi Patricia! Thank you so much for mentioning my book – Doggie Language. I will be sending you a copy as soon as I have some next week! (it has been out of stock all month).
Trisha says
Thanks Lili! I look forward to getting it.