As always, Memorial Day feels hard to wrap my head around, or maybe it’s my heart. It’s a day of the beginning of summer and BBQs and, this year especially, celebrations of finally being able to be with friends and family. And it’s a day of mourning and respect and gratitude for those who have lost their lives because of their service in the military.
My uncle, Lynn Dodwell, according to my mom, his sister, was the only survivor of his squadron of 52 RAF pilots in WWII (Royal Air Force). Every other young man was shot down and lost while defending England. Even though he didn’t die himself, I don’t think he ever recovered from survivor’s guilt–it always felt like part of him died.
On Memorial Day this year I will indeed play outside with friends, play crazy-ass croquet (who said the field had to be flat?), and polish off too much yummy food. But I will also take some time to let my heart get soft and my eyes get moist over all the people who have lost their lives in war, no matter where they are from. It helps me to take action in times like these, so I just made a donation to the Military Women’s Memorial, an organization that fights for recognition for all women who have served who often are ignored or dismissed. I’m trying to donate to the RAF Benevolent Fund, but it’s in England, of course, and it’ll take some time to sort through.
Let us know what you do on this day and how it strikes you. If you have some organizations that you’d like others to contribute to, please let us know.
MEANWHILE, back on the farm: Lots of time outside, which is heaven for us until we come inside in the late afternoon and are too stiff to get off the couch. The invasive Dame’s Rocket is starting to form seed heads, so we are spending a ridiculous amount of time cutting it down or pulling it out. It’s beautiful yes, but is so aggressive that it’s trying to take over every single one of my perennial gardens. Next year I’ll use the dogs to move the sheep into the area before the native plants sprout, and see if they can help us contain it.
On Saturday Skip and Maggie had a great time at the WWSDA’s First Annual Novice Sheepdog Trial. No one who has run in Open could enter, so the more experienced handlers volunteered to help out. Skip, Maggie and I worked the “exhaust,” which is rounding up the sheep after a run and putting them back into another field where they could rest and graze. We alternated with friend Janet and her dogs, and it was great fun and a wonderful chance to get in some training.
All my photos of Skip and Maggie turned out crummy, but I love this photo of Janet’s dog Ted, when Janet asked him “Are there sheep?” He looked left, he looked right, and then he gave Janet that look I can only describe as “nonplussed.” Something about that open mouth. The words coming out of it should be “Uh, uh, whaaaa? Sheep? Where?”
I loved these low clouds on the way to the trial, off of Hwy 113:
Some of the sheep at the farm had recently been weaned from their lambs. This girl spent a long time sniffing a chicken and had a lot to say about it when it didn’t smell right.
Don’t know whose lamb this is, but sure is cute:
Friday night we had another ANOTHER hard freeze (yes, I’m yelling), and I had been too tired and grumpy about it happening again to cover any plants. I got lucky; the two tomato plants got badly nipped but should recover, my Dahlia’s are not happy with me but should make it, and the impatients will be fine if I’m just patient enough.
The Prairie Smoke couldn’t care less about the frost, and it’s smoking away. It is without question one of my favorite plants.
I’ll end on Miss Dahlia, who made it through unscathed, unlike some of her sisters:
Let us know how your weekend has been, and what Memorial Day means to you. I hope your week is full of gratitude, good friends, and lots of beautiful colors.
Alice R. says
I feel the same way about Memorial Day. All the men in our family have served, many for entire careers, and all have come back. This leaves one with a daily feeling of gratitude to all those who gave their lives so that I could have each day. I cannot imagine what it took for your uncle to take that plane up each time. God bless him.
We were able to visit my daughter this weekend, for only the second time in well over a year due to you know what. We met her first dog, a rescue chihuahua mix she’s had a couple of months. She’s a lovely little dog, but anxious and completely lacking in confidence. I am so very proud of all my daughter has done, and is doing for her. She has worked hard to learn how to help, works with her so well, and invested in classes both general and specific. They both seem very happy together.
I will spend my Memorial Day in simple gratitude as I go through it enjoying the little things: a good book, my needlework, my dog walks.
Barbara says
There are two sides to this coin. I will think of my dad and remember some of the horrific stories he told of fighting in Italy in WWII. But he also had a photo album that showed the camaraderie and lasting friendships he made with some of his “war buddies”. He wrote to and exchanged Xmas cards with one of those fellow soldiers for years after the war ended. I had an uncle who came home with a Purple Heart and Silver Star and was never able to talk about his time in the South Pacific … too painful. Today I will spend time with my son and husband walking our dog, visiting a State Natural Area, playing some board games and grilling brats. Our flag is displayed at the front of the house. How wonderful it is to live in a free country … to set aside a day to thank all those who served and to honor those who died to keep it that way.
M.H. Deal says
To me May 30th is always Decoration Day, no matter what the Federal three day log jam law has created. Decoration Day began as a truly unforced ceremony of remembrance when Southern women decorated Confederate graves with spring flowers, a custom that was taken up in the North either or at approximately the same time by women in Boalsburg, Centre County, PA, and in a New York town. Location depends on who you read. Gen. John Logan, impressed by these actions, called for May 30th to be for decorating the soldiers’ graves.
My father who grew up in Jonesville, Hillsdale County, MI recalled kids being marched out of school up to Sunset View, the cemetery.
For a decade or so I did a Mother’s Day walk about famous dead women in LakeView Cemetery in Cleveland, OH, where I always stopped at a small grave of a soldier who died in a local training camp before heading out to the conflict. The little gravestone depicting a horse and rider was made before government distributed gravestones. With the group halted, I then read a description of Decoration Day as it appears in Louise Dickinson Rich’s memoir, Innocence Under the Elms. It’s quite effecting, a long ways from what’s done now. On May 30th, the true and only Decoration Day, I walked through an old, begun in 1818, cemetery to read the stones, the installed flags, some from 1776, and reflect.
Trisha says
Beautiful, thank you M.H.
Mary says
On Memorial Day, I think of my dad and my uncle, both US Army. I know that WWII affected both of them tremendously. But we only heard the “fun” stories…the hijinks that my dad and his best friend, Scotty would get into in Italy and N. Africa. The war had a definite effect on my life…My dad and Scotty were very close, and both were able to travel (on leave) to Texas for Scotty’s wedding. My dad was the Best Man, and he fell in love with the Maid of Honor, who was the Sister of the Bride. Long story short…the Maid of Honor and my dad got married when the war was over, and I was the third (and final) baby born to them! My dad, mom, Scotty and his bride, Katherine were life-long friends. Without WWII, I wouldn’t be here. That doesn’t negate the destruction and sadness of war, but it does show that even war can have a positive outcome! Memorial Day has a bittersweet feel for me because it reminds me of the love that grew out of war. I miss the four of them terribly, but I have a feeling that they’re up in Heaven, sitting around the table playing cards and laughing…
Laura says
I saw several scolding posts on facebook and the like over the weekend, shaming people for having a cook-out. I have several generations of family members who served in the military, and yes, I’m very grateful to and for them, but honestly I can’t understand the scolding. People haven’t been able to see each other in over a year. Let them have that! So, I did. I grilled brats, and made huge cookies with my sister. We had a friend stop by to visit, and I got to hug her for the first time in a long time. I had a great day, and I’m not going to feel badly because of it. Now, the weather is warm and sunny, just the way I like it, and I’m working with the windows open. I hope everyone has a great week, and hug those pups.
Trisha says
Laura: We too grilled brats, and savored in perfect weather and great company. We also talked a lot about the day, and what it means, and spent time in grateful reflection. Life will always be a combination of joy and sorrow, life and loss. None of those negate the other.
Sandy says
A week ago, a Tomb of the Unknown Soldier and Never Forget Garden Marker was donated to a nearby park where I maintain the gardens. The memorial was installed this week at the park’s WWII Memorial at Bondsville Mill Park in East Brandywine Township. We scrambled, successfully pulling together photos and newspaper coverage in such a short time frame. A Never Forget Garden is a memorial not only to unknown soldiers, it’s also a living tribute to all American military service veterans and their families. It’s a place to honor their sacrifice and service to defend and preserve America in the past, the present, and for future generations. The East Brandywine remembrance is the first, but won’t be the only, Never Forget Garden in Chester County, PA. Living there in the beautiful Never Forget Garden are purple viola, tulip, daisy, primrose, poppy, and forget me not flowers, all of them having symbolic meaning. Oak and silver birch trees, symbols of strength and hope, grow nearby. This year, 2021, is the 100th anniversary of the interment on November 11, 1921, of the Unknown Soldier of World War I, officiated by President Warren G. Harding. Among many Centennial memorial activities and recognitions being planned by the Department of Defense and Arlington National Cemetery, and the Society of The Honor Guard, Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, one is a Never Forget Garden encouraged by the Society.
Roberta says
I took my dad, WWII Air Force, to see “Memphis Belle,” the movie about the B52 that barely made it back to England. I’d never seen him weep in a movie. He loaded bombs in India, and though he and his three brothers made it home, many times the planes he loaded didn’t. I was devastated to bring that heartache back to him.
As for me and my house, after the dog park yesterday, my Doberman mix Malcolm and I joined others at our local exact replica of the National Vietnam Veterans’ Memorial, Perryville, MO. Seeing all those names etched in that cold black made me weep.
Nannette Morgan says
I first heard of the Military Women’s Memorial Sunday night on the PBS Annual Memorial Day Concert. The stories of them and the other veterans was so moving.
Love the Prairie Smoke photo. It looks like aliens from outer space!
Jess Chipley-Trudeau says
We have an American flag on our deck, lighted through the night. We’ve had many people in our family who have served, and one of my grandmothers was a seamstress who sewed tents during WWII. Since we live in a different state from where everyone in our family is buried, we go to a local cemetery and put out flowers by proxy. After the service is over, we look for graves with veteran’s auxiliary markers and flags – but no other flowers or decoration – and we leave a flower on each one, thanking the recipient for his/her service, as we also think of our family members whose graves we can’t be there to decorate. This way, no one is forgotten just because he/she no longer has any family near. We are so grateful for what our service men and women do for us. They and their families gave up so much, and not celebrating our freedom would be as disrespectful as never opening a gift we’d been given.
LisaW says
Okay, what are brats (besides the name I used to get called sometimes ;-)?
I just happened to find my father’s purple heart in a box tucked away in their basement many years ago. His WWII rifle was there, too (broken, unusable, thankfully). He never spoke of it and would have taken these stories to his grave had I not found that musty box. He did tell us how he earned the purple heart, and then we never spoke of it again.
An English professor at Middlebury College, Tim Spears, has made it his life’s work to travel around the country photographing military cemeteries — many forgotten and neglected and many quite prominent. He finds them in backyards, in parks, on the edges of city forests just about abandoned save for his quest. The images are quite extraordinary: https://www.instagram.com/p/B_cvwWRBy2L/
The forgotten cemeteries feel sadly appropriate to some people’s horror of war.
Trisha says
Beautiful Sandy!
Trisha says
LisaW : Bratwurst! And what a story about your Dad. Spunds so common.
Trisha says
Jess, flowers at every one… heart swell.
Trisha says
Roberta, your dad’s heartache was always there. Now it’s yours too, but maybe for the best? “All those names make me weep” too, so many tragedies (any so many, if I may, needless).
Pat says
In Canberra, we have a different weekend. Monday was not Memorial day (which I think is probably similar to ANZAC Day for Australians), but Reconciliation day.
This is a time to acknowledge and celebrate our First Nation people’s culture, history, and the future ahead as a collaborative community. 2021 marks the 20th anniversary of Reconciliation Australia (RA).It is a time for all Australians to learn about our shared histories, cultures, and achievements, and to explore how each of us can contribute to achieving reconciliation in Australia. Reconciliation is about strengthening relationships between Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples and non-Indigenous peoples, for the benefit of all Australians.
Anne Johnson says
Oh croquet! What a great way to spend the day. Always went to grandparents in Wisconsin on Lakeshore Drive and had quite the tournament!
jen says
There is another memorial worth knowing about. In the spring of 1865, former slaves dug up over 250 dead Union soldiers who had died in a SC prison camp and had been buried in a mass grave. They reinterred the remains, one by one, and gave each of them a proper burial. The former slaves then held a parade to honor the men who had fought and died to help free them. It was May 1, 1865. Some amazing bits of history are finally coming to light, and I am grateful for the more complete story of all of our shared history.
Trisha says
jen: Wow. This is huge, and I am so grateful for you letting me know about it. Wow. And yes yes yes about history becoming clearer, in so many ways.
Louise says
The photo of Tim touches me. My dog just passed. He used to speak to us with his mouth slightly open.