No doubt there are lots of dogs out there who love the holidays. New chew toys! Pieces of ham or turkey dropped onto the floor!
But I guarantee you that many dogs are not a fan of holidays, especially Christmas. Here are five reasons why:
I. The Dreaded Christmas Photograph. Posing for family photographs is about as fun for some dogs as it is for three-year old children. Don’t believe me? Check out the photos scattered throughout this post from the commercial photography site, Big Stock.
Between the closed mouths, turned heads and whale eyes, it’s like a seminar on stress signals in dogs. (For an actual seminar on reading signs of stress in dogs, see my Facebook Live Seminar or the For the Love DVD.)
Solution? Lots of treats while taking pictures. Very short photo sessions. Phones instead of big camera lenses. Avoid putting your dog on stay.Let him turn away from the camera. . . Didn’t you say he has the cutest butt of any dog, ever? And, always, don’t hug the dog!
II. Your Dog Hates Uncle Arnold. Although we often expect dogs to love everyone equally, that’s not realistic. Our Willie adores visitors, and in general has rarely met a human he didn’t love. Until recently. “Uncle Max” isn’t an uncle, but he’s a man who we run into on occasion, who is loud, speaks aggressively and is pissed off much of the time. Willie’s eyes get as round as basketballs when this guy is close by, and hides behind me when he is around. Am I ever going to “fix” Willie and force him to make friends with noisy-angry guy? Nope, because it’s not worth the few times they are together. I’m simply going to protect Willie by keeping him far away. If this guy was a relative visiting my house, Willie would be in his crate in the study, while Angry Uncle Arnold would be kept in the living room. Possibly on a leash.
Sometimes it’s not one individual, it’s just the sheer number of people who are together in one place. Or the noise level. (If you have three kids under the age of five, you know what I’m talking about.) The fact is that lots of friendly, well-behaved dogs are overwhelmed by holiday crowds. They need us to help them out, not set them up for failure.
Solution? This is what crates in quiet rooms are for. I don’t hesitate to put the more sensitive Border Collies into their cozy crates when large numbers of visitors come over, especially when they first arrive. Or you can put your dogs in the bedroom. Or take them to your neighbors. Really, just because your dog is friendly on walks and at training class doesn’t mean she is comfortable in a cocktail party for 30 when your nephew starts doing karoake on the dining room table.
III. What Happened to My Morning Walk? One great thing about holidays is that they allow us to get out of our usual routine. The bad thing about holidays for dogs is that they get us out of our usual routine. It might be fun for us to skip the long walks at the dog park or enjoy that our agility class is cancelled over the holidays while we’re baking and wrapping and cooking and eating. But not so much for dogs. Especially if they are young dogs who need the mental and physical exercise of getting out and about. Or the dogs who truly need the comfort and security of a daily routine.
Solution? The simple solution is obvious–go on that walk anyway. Or drive to the dog training class facility and do some tricks in the parking lot. However, that can’t always happen if we’re baking and wrapping and . . . You know what I mean. This is when new chew toys can save you. I just bought some new ones for the dogs, and am saving them for the extra busy days to come. Be sure that they are safe, extra hard to resist, and stuffed with the best food ever.
Or perhaps you have a dog who loves to rip plush toys into shreds. Why not give them a present that no one cares if they destroy? Every holiday I buy the BCs some plush toys that are in shreds in a few days (I know–it’s hours or minutes for some dogs). As long as what remains is safe and won’t be ingested, I let them have their fun. (Some people buy super inexpensive toys at discount stores or places like Goodwill. Suit yourself, just watch your dogs to be sure they are not swallowing anything. New Year’s Day at the Emergency Vet is not recommended. Just saying.)
IV. Exhaustion. Think you’re the only one who is tired when your family finally waves goodbye? Parties and crowds and long visits even with a few visitors can tire dogs out as much as they can us humans. Surely dogs can be introverts too? Or at least need a break from constant conversation and interactions? I can’t tell you how many heartbreaking stories I’ve heard from clients whose lovely, dear dogs ended up snarling or biting after too many hours of putting up with raucous laughter or running children.
“But he was fine all day!” I’d hear, after listening to the story of how Brownie or Blackie nipped a grandchild on the face after dinner. This, after eight hours of happy shrieks from three-year old boys, and parades of kids tromping through the house, and the loud laughter of people just having a good time. This is when I explain that I too am in danger of biting after a certain amount number of hours of interaction, in spite of the fact that I too “love people” and “love visitors”.
Solution? Long before you think Brownie might be tired, simply put him away into a back room or a crate. If Brownie is the kind of dog who will bark his head off if taken away from the party, you can try the car if the weather permits. (Not to hot, please, and not too cold.) Dogs who are used to car rides are often happier to hang out in the car rather than in a crate where they can hear the party going on. Or try a stuffed chew toy like a Kong. Or tell your visitors to go sit in the car once you think Brownie has reason to be getting tired. Kidding aside, the trick here is to be pro-active. Don’t wait until it is obvious that your dog has had enough, because the first obvious sign of that might turn into trouble.
V. Bad Presents. Okay, maybe there’s no canine equivalent of an ugly tie or sweater that you are never going to wear, but I can imagine dogs “opening” up an enlarged, framed portrait and thinking “This does not look good to eat”. Or, a new hat and booties like the dog below. I am a firm believer that if we are going to give family members holiday gifts, then we should give some to our dogs too. Ours get home made treats and new tug toys, cuz I know the dogs will love them.
Perhaps you have received well meaning presents for your pets that you’re not crazy about either. How many of us have been given treats for our dogs that, uh, we’d rather not feed to our dogs? In that case, what a great opportunity to donate the treats to a food bank, or a shelter, or a friend who is not as picky about what they feed their dogs.
Solution? Smile and donate presents that neither you or your dog want, and buy or make your friend’s dogs something you know that they’ll love. For your own dogs, I’ll bet the best present is spending more time with you. So wrap yourself up in a bow and give your dog the luxury of you and your attention as much as you can–because that’s the greatest gift you can give them.
MEANWHILE, back on the farm: Sun! Sun, sun, glorious sun! Not lots of it, but enough yesterday and today that we could enjoy it. Here’s the flock watching me, Willie and Maggie (who are behind me), as we emerged from the woods on our afternoon walk.
I love this photo of Willie and Maggie because it is such a window into their souls. Willie can’t take his eyes off of me; Maggie is looking for the sheep. Pretty much sums them up. I rather like the photo best in black and white.
And you? What about your dogs and the holidays? What works? What doesn’t? Ho ho!
Chris from Boise says
One Christmas with relatives in Portland OR, our 100% bomb-proof Zen Master Bandit (sorely missed even four years after his passing) was lying down by the couch where Mike was seated, when a wiggly three year old fell off said couch right onto him. No bite occurred, because of his great soul, but Bandit let out a roar that we had no idea he could produce. Lesson learned, fortunately with no physical damage. Now we keep dogs and kids separated AND well-monitored.
All your other points make good sense, too.
Hooray for sun in Wisconsin! And snow in Boise!
Bruce says
We often have at least one holiday guest who is not comfortable around active dogs so this is what we do:
1. Take the dogs for a good run before guests arrive.
2. Our usual early guests are comfortable around dogs, so we leave the dogs loose to “help” with the cooking.
3. When the full contingent arrives we sequester the dogs behind a half-wall in the “Florida room” between the living room and dog door. This allows people to interact with the dogs if they choose, but also gives the dogs space to chill out or to go outside.
4. After the feast when guests have settled down to digest their meal we usually release the hounds (pug, terrier, etc.) and they perform a valuable service by cleaning up any food that fell on the floor.
With four dogs we are careful about high-value resources like “bones” that take a while to chew. If the dogs get a special holiday treat we usually sequester each dog in a different room until they have finished devouring their treasure.
We also use holiday gatherings as an opportunity to socialize our one nervous dog. Each guest who is willing gives nervous dog a treat, which has gone a long way towards implanting the idea that strangers in the house = good things.
Lydia Bishop says
Not sure how my new dog, Niko will handle the holiday. He’s fifteen months old and we adopted him in early November. We’re a pretty low key household, so I think he’ll be fine. We’ll be taking off on Christmas day – heading for the mountains to introduce him to snow.
Jan says
Just encountered this with my dog who’s at the tail end of a fear period that was progressing really well at my obedience club at at conformation events. there I could and did control scary people approaching and made sure they were well armed with treats.l
I was home bound for a month recovering from surgery. I live alone with few visitors, and needed daily help. This dog was not happy with the 1st visitor, the stranger barking at the door did not stop once the person was admitted and any sudden move was greeted with fear based barking. So, I immediately warned each daily visitor to let me know by text when they arrived and to not knock on the door. That way I could be prepared to let them in quickly before the ‘stranger at the door’ barking ensued, with a lot of good treats and instructions for the visitor to ignore the dog until he came up to them calmly, then to reward with treat or calm pet. And prior to getting up and moving to also calmly talk and offer a treat.
After 2 weeks, this same dog was at the front door quietly looking forward to the next visitor and proactively greeting even the repairman with inquisitive sniffs and happily accepting pets.
A good reminder for our dogs situational learning and to NOT omit a critical location for ongoing behavior modification.
Jan
Brenda Pawloski says
We have one family member that can’t help but stare at the dog(s) in anxiety, automatically getting all kinds of unwanted doggy attention. We say, “Mom, don’t look at her” but it’s like looking in the wrong place when riding a bike, you’re going to hit the tree. So I’m glad we have always used crates as a cozy retreat. We also have a climate controlled out building with cozy crates so we are lucky. But the car idea is a great one for the right dogs. I have one who doesn’t want to get out when we get home and if I let him he’ll snooze in there for an hour with the car in the driveway.
soyoung says
my paco loves potlucks and holiday/dinner parties because, well, he loves food. sometimes he gets a little too excited, lol, and he will literally wear himself out, with all the sniffing and drooling and watching for fallen foods. when i see he is starting to get overexcited (the way children can get overtired) i snap his leash on and then he knows he needs to just chill. he can finally take a nap/ just have some down time while still being in the mix with the guests. i honestly think these gatherings make him more tired than a 5 mile hike does. can dogs suffer FOMO? my definitive answer is yes! hehe!
Barb Stanek says
Will seriously consider having the visitors go to the car . . . . And start it? Laughing out loud!!!! Happy holidays!
Margaret says
I have an “opposite problem”, but it’s still a problem. Nina is obsessed with visitors, and will not leave them alone unless she is physically managed with a leash, or crated. She has also been heavily reinforced for hand-targeting, and anyone who waves their hands around when they talk (like my sister) finds themselves with a lap-full of Flat-Coated Retriever. She was quite shy as a puppy, and planning for her future comfort–and the Obedience ring–I encouraged the heck out of any overtures she was willing to make, even if it involved jumping on people. Silly me.
What works best when I know people are coming is crating with food toys, with supervised (usually leashed) interaction just before they leave; by then she’s hopefully under threshold. I keep an agility slip-lead where I can grab it easily for drop-ins.
Pat says
Kona is a dog who loves visitors, or at least he loves the process of visitors arriving! The doorbell rings and he waits at the open door until I release him to rush around to the elevator doors to personally greet each visitor and escort them to the apartment door. This process is great for me too because all my visitors arrive at my door with a smile on their faces.
As a pup when he was nervous about anything we would sit quietly and watch (he was often on my lap at the start of this process) until his natural curiosity overcame his fear and he went to explore. It seems that I have therefore inadvertently taught him that my arms are his safe place. When at a party or a crowded place and he starts to get tired/overwhelmed he comes over and puts his front paws n my knee as a cue to please pick him up now! He will then happily lay across my forearm (thankfully he is still a small dog at 4.5kg) and endure almost anything – even up close and personal fireworks become fascinating from the comfort of my arms.
When friends with children stay, they all know that if Kona retreats into his man-cave (covered crate) then he is to be left alone. So far I’ve never seen Kona use this retreat from children as he loves the games they all play together and seems inexhaustible while the kids are there.
Wishing you, your dogs and the community on this forum a safe and happy holiday.
Trisha says
Kisses to Kona!
Trisha says
Oh dear, will you forgive me if I can’t stop laughing? I’m so sorry, but I can’t stop laughing at the vision of visitors waving their hands while telling a story and eliciting Flat Coated lap-fulls. What a wonderful problem to have!
Frances says
It is my turn to host family Christmas this year, so I can plan around the dogs. I will be sleeping downstairs, so we will slip out for our early walk while everyone else snoozes. I am laying in hardwood logs and eco fire lighters – no heaps of kindling to snap and crackle – and removing the snaps from the crackers, too. Chocolate and mince pies will be rationed, and kept in a lidded tin on a high shelf. No Christmas cake – no one ever eats it anyway. Lots of alternatives to turkey, which gives Sophy an upset tummy. The dogs will be bathed, and humans are expected to provide laps and cuddles to order (not a problem, as my family reckon to get their cat and dog fix while visiting me) – joining us on walks is optional. One way and another I fear it is I who will be seen as the Grinch, rather than the dogs!
Bd says
Our petite golden doodle simply heads for cover when he’s had enough. I do judge his participation in social events by the behavior of guests. If guests insist on feeding him food scraps, fooling with his mouth, playing tug without following instructions (it always ends with “”Give” and a fuss or a treat), or endlessly saying his name, off he goes upstairs for a snooze in my office. I do spend time with non-dog visitors and children doing a little teaching-/how to say hello, not to pat his head but to skritch his chest instead, how to feed a treat etc. I’ve had guests BEG me to bring my dog downstairs and I give an honest response: too big of a crowd, too tempting to feed him scraps etc. I figure I might as well as educate visitors a bit while they’re here. (Some times I want to say, if I could trust all of you to behave….)
Leslie Benjamin says
We are having some drama with our 6 month old terrier. He goes for the decorations (on the tree, the windowsill, etc) and always does it when our backs are turned. I feel like I can’t leave the living room without him grabbing a garland or a wrapped gift or….jeeez. Yesterday I got really upset with him. He had a Christmas decorative teddy bear in his mouth and wouldn’t give it to me. He wound up leading me on a chase around the house…of course he was confused…Was this a game? Is she mad? What’s she going to do to me???
When I finally caught him I established dominance, took the toy, and let him know it was naughty. Being a very sensitive dog, it took awhile for him to not feel traumatized.
I’ve now removed all decorations from the bottom half of the tree…. but how do we teach them the difference between decorations and toys?
Paul Freeborn says
I just finished reading “The Other End of the Leash.” Thank you very much for writing such an engaging and informative book; I truly enjoyed reading it. I am sure that I will be referring to that book (as well as your other work and website) when my puppy comes home in February.
Frances says
Despite all my care Poppy came very close to a melt down on Christmas Day. The cold damp walk in the morning, the house full of visitors talking and laughing loudly all day, not being able to retreat to our usual bedroom because other people were there, all built up until she exploded into snarls when Sophy wanted to share the spot she had chosen on the settee in the evening. I made her a comfy place on the stairs and she retreated there, but didn’t really relax until about midnight, when I felt her cuddle under the duvet with me and sigh with relief. I sometimes wonder if dogs suffer from headaches – her demeanour all day was of a dog not feeling quite right physically as well as emotionally.
She has been much happier today – a calmer day all round.
Trisha says
“Established dominance?” Oh dear dear, please know that “dominance” had virtually nothing to do with your dog not understanding the difference between a decoration and a toy. Your dog is simply six months old and is a baby going into adolescence. Dogs at this age are often extremely “chewy,” and should never be punished for a simple misunderstanding. When it happens again, go get a treat from the kitchen and use it to lure your dog into dropping the item. Prevention is a key here… at his age all decorations should be up high and out of his reach. Consider a puppy training book, like Puppy Primer on my website to learn how to teach dogs what is appropriate to chew. Most importantly, remember that every time you punish your dog in the way you describe, you are harming your relationship with him. Good luck!
Jenny Haskins says
I am always amazed at this time of year how normally sensible people dress their dogs up in ‘costumes’ and take them somewhere for a Santa Photo 🙁
Jacqueline Shaughnessy says
Thanks for the post! We manage our Simon during the holidays. We feel bad that he is in his crate a little more, but it is the safest place for him.
At New Years we had a house full of people. He stayed in our bedroom. After his dinner, I brought him out on a leash and sat with him in the Kitchen. Guests came over to visit him and give him treats. He was great and friends commented on how much better he has become. He is an energetic 5yo Springer Spaniel. He LOVES people, but gets too excited.
One question, He is nervous/scared around men, especially in hats or with facial hair. One of our guests fit all those requirements. Simon was good and got treats from him. But, started trying to play. Got bouncy, barking and a bit nippy. He was on a leash, so under control. We got Simon to focus on us, got him a treat and went back into the sanctuary of the bedroom on a good note! My question is, can fear come out as play? He only gets this way with men. Children, women and most men he stays calm (for him). I remove him from the situation when he gets like this. 40 pounds of bouncing, barking dog is still intimidating.
Jency says
I totally appreciate, why some dogs don’t like the additional hullabaloo of the holidays. But just to put it out there, my two quiet, senior, sometimes-reactive border collie rescues love the holidays! Because that means we’ll be visited by my parents, whom the dogs adore. It’s pretty much the only time the dogs and I have guests in the house. It’s not without management…. many treats are involved. And when the folks first arrive, I ask that they please let each dog greet/sniff them individually, in the parking area, in an low-pressure way (and immediately, the dogs recognize their scent, from a year earlier)… before walking to the back yard, where each dog is safely off-leash to sniff and explore our guests. Only then, we all walk in together. The dogs were so happy to see my folks, and we enjoyed a fun week together… cooking in the kitchen, playing in the yard, walking through the n’hood, etc. y dogs LOVE the holidays!!
I know my situation is unusual– my parents are great around dogs, very calm, low-pressure, and there were no children or other dogs in the mix. Just to say, with some careful re-introductions, the holidays can, conceivably, be super-fun for dogs, even those who tend to shy away from (or even react to) visitors. I think it’s the additional pressure we put on dogs (and ourselves) that leads to holiday stress.
hope you’re enjoying the new year!